Disclaimer: I don't own the Transformers or any of the characters in this story.
Mixed Feelings
Chapter Three: Changing Opinions
Hot Rod stood back from the proceedings, not wanting to crowd the celebrating Autobots with memories of their old leader, Rodimus. He sipped at his energon, and winced slightly as the taste stung his taste receptors slightly. He looked down at the energon and sniffed it, wondering if it was a bad batch. Looking around the room, he noticed that no-one else seemed to think so.
Optimus wasn't holding an energon cube, but that didn't surprise Hot Rod. As Rodimus, he hadn't had the luxury of being able to relax in such a way. And besides, it looked better to younger Autobots and visiting dignitaries. He looked back down at the energon and realised that it was probably because he hadn't drunk any in a while because of his role as leader.
He looked around the room and saw that there was not one face that didn't have a smile plastered over it. Kup was wildly gesturing in front of Jazz, imitating some sort of spider while Jazz nodded and laughed. Hot Rod hadn't heard the details about what happened while he was… indisposed with the spores, or the 'Hate Plague', but it obviously must have been some kind of adventure.
A further look around the room and Hot Rod spotted Grimlock and the other Dinobots in the corner of the room, their leader leant against the wall in robot mode with his arms crossed, glaring at the back of Optimus' head.
He was obviously quite lukewarm about Optimus' return. Hot Rod had heard the stories about how he hadn't particularly liked Optimus in the early days, fancying himself a better leader. Hot Rod had been worried about that fact when he became leader, but Grimlock had little problem with Rodimus Prime. He never figured out why, and Ultra Magnus thought it would be a bad idea to ask him about it. Rodimus had agreed. Hot Rod, on the other hand…
Hot Rod meandered through the crowd and stood next to the Dinobot leader, leaning against the wall in a similar fashion. He sipped at his energon once again, trying not to show his unpleasant reaction on his face. Grimlock grunted a greeting (at least Hot Rod assumed it was a greeting), and Hot Rod turned his head towards him.
"So… great news about Optimus, huh?"
Grimlock looked over at him, a slight growl thundering from his chestplate. Hot Rod raised his arms in mock surrender.
"Okay, okay... wrong thing to say. Sorry."
They returned to their mutual silence, looking around the room. Hot Rod let his optics wander around the room, finally settling on Arcee, who was laughing with some other femmes, one of whom was wrapped around Inferno. At least, Hot Rod thought his name was Inferno. He was always mixing him up with Grapple. Or was that Hoist?
Arcee laughed again, and Hot Rods' optics were once again on her. As he sipped his energon once again, he realised that a door had been opened by Optimus' return. As Rodimus, he hadn't dared to pursue any kind of relationship with Arcee, but now he was Hot Rod again…
He shook his head to remove thought. Arcee was with Springer. It was fairly obvious how they felt about each other, and Hot Rod did value Springer as his friend. In that aspect of his life, he had almost been glad when he became Rodimus Prime – there was no pressure on him to pursue the relationship with Arcee. Hot Rod again shook his head as he realised why he came over to this corner of the room in the first place. He turned towards Grimlock once again.
"Grimlock… can I ask you something?"
"Depends on what it is."
Hot Rod nodded. "Fair enough. It's fairly obvious that you were never… fond of Optimus," he said, choosing his words carefully.
Grimlock snorted in agreement. "Putting it lightly, don't you think?"
Hot Rod smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, well… I was wondering… why didn't you have a problem with me? When I was Rodimus, I mean."
Grimlock paused in thought, taking his optics off Optimus' head to think about it. "Because… you not have head up own rear port."
Hot Rod let out a bark of laughter, and quickly tried to cover it up. "I see…" he said, his snickering causing some heads to turn in his direction, including Optimus. Grimlock didn't move and inch, staring Optimus down. But apparently, Optimus wasn't backing down either. Hot Rod slowly tried to leave the area, but was caught between… what was Spikes' phrase? 'Between Grimlock and a hard place.'
Perceptor, unaware of any such staring contest, came up to Optimus and started chattering to him excitedly about some device he held in his hand. Optimus slowly turned his head back, and the tension instantly disappeared. Hot Rod let out some exhaust he didn't even know he was holding, and patted Grimlock on the shoulder.
"Thanks Grimlock. See you around, huh?"
Grimlock nodded, and Hot Rod turned to leave. He needed something to clear his head. Maybe he could challenge Jazz to a race. Infernos' roaring laughter caused him to turn around in Arcees' direction again, and Hot Rod noticed that something was missing; a certain green Autobot. Hot Rod threw caution to the wind and walked over to them. The laughter died down as they approached, and Arcee waved him over as she spotted him. Hot Rod walked over and stood beside her, and she leaned near his audio receptor.
"Have you seen Springer?"
A puzzled look crossed Hot Rods' face. "I thought you'd know."
Arcee shrugged. "I asked him earlier if he was coming, but he didn't answer."
Hot Rod smiled easily. "I'll go find him."
"Are you sure?" Arcee asked, tilting her head.
"Yeah. It's not like I've got a whole lot to do here, right?"
Arcee smiled. "Thank you, Hot Rod."
Hot Rod left and emptied his cube of energon, placing it on a table top before leaving through the automatic doors. The usual bright orange sheen of Metroplex' innards was darker during the night (it was to help the humans who worked there to sleep more easily).
Hot Rod walked down the corridor slowly, in no particular hurry. He turned the corner, heading to Springers' quarters and stopped short when he found the large green Autobot leaning against the wall in the darkness, a cube of energon in his hand. He raised his head and smiled his usual lopsided Springer smile, beckoning him over.
"Hey, kid. Grab some wall."
Hot Rod did so and crossed his arms, leaning his head against the wall so he was looking at the ceiling.
"Arcee sent you, right?" Springer said, emptying his energon cube.
"She was wondering where you were. I volunteered to find you."
Springer smiled again, filling his energon cube once again from a container that Hot Rod could only assume was from his vaunted private collection. He held it up to Hot Rod.
"You want some?"
Hot Rod thought it over. Springer didn't seem overcharged, but this was definitely not normal Springer behaviour. You usually couldn't keep him away from parties (Hot Rod remembered trying when it was a surprise party for Springer), and hanging around in the dark with a container of old energon was not something he usually enjoyed.
But he did enjoy the occasional quiet drink; although this was only with those he considered his peers or friends. Before the he became Rodimus, Springer hadn't even considered offering a drink to him (whether it was because he didn't like him, or because he didn't think he was old enough, Hot Rod didn't know).
As it was, Hot Rod couldn't help the small amount of pride he felt that Springer was offering him some of his energon. So, Hot Rod took the container. Springer put a finger up.
"Ah-ah," he smiled, pulling out a cube from somewhere behind him. "Such atrocious manners for an ex-leader," he said, taking the container from him and filling the cube with energon.
'Ex-leader'. The words echoed in Hot Rods' mind like bad energon on his taste receptors. And he couldn't help but wonder why. He shook the thought from his head, taking a swig of the energon. He winced and gasped as his taste receptors were set on fire. Springer chuckled.
"Too strong?"
Hot Rod shook his head. "Nah," he gasped, staring at the cube. "What is this stuff?"
"That, my friend, is specially processed Springer energon. Takes a while to make it, but it's worth the wait."
Hot Rod nodded in approval. "S'pretty good," he said, his voice rising slightly as his voice processor compensated for the sudden infusion of such raw energon.
Springer grinned, and then it faded slightly. "Arcee isn't too worried, is she?"
Hot Rod shook his head. "Nah. It was more of a curious 'have you seen Springer?' than a worried 'have you seen Springer?' And it wasn't an angry 'where's Springer!' either."
Springer laughed as Hot Rod changed his voice to imitate Arcees' different moods. "You know that femme too well, kid."
"Maybe," Hot Rod said, shrugging. He took another swig of energon, and found that he was adapting. This time he only winced. "Incidentally, why aren't you at the party with Arcee? She was looking kind of lonely talking to Inferno and… uh… his femme."
Springer put a hand over his optics. "Inferno… are you sure?"
Hot Rod nodded, feeling his inertial stabilisers fail slightly as he did so. He was glad he was leant against the wall, because he probably would have stumbled if he was standing. "Think so… big red guy, laughs like an overcharged Grimlock?"
Springer sighed. "That's him."
"What? You don't like him?"
Springer frowned. "He's okay."
Hot Rod gave him a 'yeah right' look and Springer relented.
"No, not really. But Arcee doesn't hear about this, you got me kid? She happens to like him for some reason."
"Is that why you're not at the party?"
Springer looked ready to say something but then stopped when he heard the familiar voices of Jazz and Kup coming around the corner.
"And of course, Rodimus wanted nothing to do with it…"
Jazz laughed. "Yeah, Optimus was the same-" he stopped as he spotted Springer, and a smile spread across his face. "Hey, Springer, man! Where've you been?"
He came forward and shook hands enthusiastically with Springer, who grinned in response. "Just enjoying a little tipple with Hot Rod here."
Jazz looked at Hot Rod. "He's been feedin' you his special energon?"
Hot Rod was about to nod when he saw the scowl on Kups' face. It quickly subsided, and Kup burst into laughter. "Dammit, I can't keep my face straight after your energon, Jazz."
Springer pointed to Kup with his thumb. "You've been giving him your special energon?"
Jazz grinned and nodded. "Hey, I've got a reputation to uphold. I've gotten every Autobot in the army overcharged on my energon at least once."
Hot Rod frowned, though he was grinning at the same time. He wondered if it was the energon that was making him smile all the time. "So you've even got Optimus overcharged?" Hot Rod smiled at the image of Optimus stumbling around singing 'My Sub-Processor's Swimming in the Lake'. He loved that song.
Jazz shook his head sadly. "Nope – that damn faceplate gets in the way. I got Ultra Magnus, though. But my biggest accomplishment was Prowl. It cost me a fortune, but I got him."
Springer laughed. "Ah, that was a good night. So, how about an encore? Are you guys up to it?" he said, gesturing to Kup and Hot Rod. Kup shook his head.
"Oh no. There's no way you're getting me to make a fool of myself. Ironhide told me the things you made him do while he was overcharged."
Jazz and Springer snickered, and Hot Rod joined in, though he wasn't sure what was funny. Kup gestured at him. "And leave the lad out of this. He's too young for what you two like to drink."
Jazz held up his hands. "Okay, first of all: we never made Ironhide do any of that stuff; some of it he insisted he do, which was pretty disturbing, let me tell you. And second: Hot Rod can handle it. He was the leader of the Autobots! I think he can handle the stuff that little ol' me an' Springer intake."
Kup sighed and shook his head. He looked over at Hot Rod. "So, lad?"
Hot Rod looked from one to the other. He looked over at Kup. "I can handle it."
Springer and Jazz cheered.
"All right, let's go. My place or yours?" Jazz asked, and Springer patted himself in the chestplate.
"Mine's closer. I don't even know where you live."
"Hey, that's repair crew discrimination, and I resent it."
Hot Rod followed, ignoring the sighing Kup as he turned to go back to the party to tell Arcee what her sweetheart was up to. Hot Rod imagined how annoyed she would be with Springer and snickered.
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"Now, you see… this is great."
That night had been nowhere near as insane as Hot Rod thought it would have been. Once his body had adapted to the energon, it only brought about a sense of supreme relaxation. Of course, he couldn't stand up, but who wanted to stand up and walk about anyway? Walking was stupid, in Hot Rods' opinion.
As he stared at the ceiling tiles, he wondered if he could transform like this. The thought made him queasy. At least, he thought the feeling was queasy. From what humans had told him, queasy sounded right. And besides, the word itself just fit. He looked over at the other two occupants of the room, who were both overcharged.
Hot Rod smiled as he realised that he was the only one who hadn't been knocked semi functional by Springers' drink.
"What are you so happy about, kid?"
Hot Rod turned towards him and smiled. "'Cause you two are so…" Hot Rod paused for a moment to find the right word. "Blaaaah, and I'm so… Hmmmm," he said, making a humming noise.
Jazz laughed. "Right. Well, I've gotta be goin'. Headin' back to Cybertron with Prime early in the mornin'.
Springer frowned slightly, then extended his hand. "Good to see you again, Jazz. We'll get Kup next time."
"You know it," Jazz said, nodding at Hot Rod before he left. "See you later, 'Rod."
"You know it," Hot Rod said, trying his best imitate Jazz' voice. Jazz laughed and left. Springer looked over at him.
"Can you stand up, kid?"
"'Course I can." To prove his point, Hot Rod rocketed to his feet. He quickly grabbed his head and fell back onto the floor where he was sat before. "I just don't feel like it at the moment."
Springer nodded. "Okay. It just so happens I've got a spare recharge port over there, so you can stay here. Just don't make too much noise, okay?"
Hot Rod gave him a thumbs up. "Sure thing. You're a pal."
Springer grinned. "Right."
Hot Rod watched in overcharged fascination as Springer got into his bunk and prepared to start his recharge cycle. Hot Rod was about to do the same, when something occurred to him.
"Say, Springer?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"Why didn't you go to Optimus' party?"
It sounded funny to Hot Rod to say 'Optimus' party', as if he organised the whole thing. The whole image of Optimus putting up decorations was about as funny as the image of him overcharged. Now, putting up decorations while he was overcharged… He was knocked from his overcharged induced daydream by Springers' response.
"It's not important."
"Aww, c'mon."
"It's no big deal."
"Well, if it's no big deal, you can tell me."
Springer sighed. "All right. It's because…" he sighed again. "Do you remember what we did before you became leader, Roddy?"
Hot Rod nodded. "Sure. We fought Shockwave on Cybertron until we came to Earth."
"Right. And, after you became leader…?"
"We stayed on Cybertron and fought the Decepticons. Oh, and the Quintessons. Springer, I don't see what this has to do with-"
"I'm getting to it. Now, what do you suppose will happen now that Optimus is back? Who do you suppose he's going to choose for missions?"
"Well… his old crew, I guess."
"Exactly. And we'll be shunted to the back again, left to guard the Earth while they get all the excitement and action."
Hot Rod frowned. "No, that's not-"
"Weren't you listening to what Jazz said? He's going back to Cybertron with Prime tomorrow."
"So what are you saying? That Optimus' crew should be left doing damage control for the rest of their lives?"
"No, I'm just-!" Springer sighed again. "Look, I know it's a stupid and selfish way to look at it, but… I thought that their days were over. It's wrong to think of it that way, but I do. And I got to thinking-"
"It was your turn."
"Exactly. It's not like I love fighting a war, but at least I felt like I was making a difference."
"Well… why don't you talk to Optimus about it?"
Springer snorted. "Are you kidding? I doubt he even knows my name. Slap a Decepticon symbol on me and he'd probably shoot me on sight."
"That's not true. He knows every Autobots' name." Hot Rod's earlier overcharged demeanour had disappeared. He wasn't sure how his systems had managed it, but they seemed to have just pushed it aside, at least for the moment.
"What were you, activated yesterday?"
"What?"
"Earth expression. You really think that he knows every Autobots name?"
"He knew mine, didn't he? Before I became Rodimus, too."
"That was probably because of the Matrix."
Hot Rod paused before responding, mulling over that possibility. Had Optimus known that he would become leader? Had he known that he would die that day? "You think?" Hot Rod breathed, though Springer was oblivious to his suddenly thoughtful attitude.
"Anyway, doesn't matter. Like I said, kid; it's not important. Now get some recharging done. We've got a busy day of damage control ahead of us tomorrow," Springer said, a hint of bitterness entering the statement.
Hot Rod solemnly activated his recharging cycle, and as his systems entered sleep mode, he could only think of what the future would hold, and how infallible the great Optimus Prime wasn't.
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(A/N: Thanks for the feedback, folks! And thank you, Ultra Rodimus, for the Cybertronian time measurements.
So, readers? You like? Dislike? Comments? Review!)