Chapter 13- Bring Before Me What Is Mine, The Seven Seas of Rhye.
"Oi! Oi! Slow down will you!" Scaramouche yelled at Galileo as he carried on walking ahead of her
"No you keep up!" he yelled back
"I've got shorter legs than you"
"Don't worry, your mouth makes up for them" "excuse me?"
"You didn't have any objections to it last night". Scaramouche stopped and so did Gaz who turned around.
"That is below the belt!" he walked right into that oneas Scaramouche looked, well,below his beltand smirked which really made him blush "wow, guys really should not turn that shade of pink" she thought to herself but quickly said
"Which seems to be all you think women are good for!"
"Hey- we're not on some feminist awareness course here, Babe, it's a battle as big as the planet!"
"As big as your ego more like!" With that Gaz started walking towards Scara
"Me, egotistical? Let's get one thing straight here. You're a girl. You're slower than me, weaker than me…"
"Cleverer than you…" Scaramouche added in
"What? Just because you managed to reverse the polarity on a couple of micro transceivers?" he started fake laughing after this, probably because he knew it was true and Scaramouche started fake laughing in too adding in a quick "yes".
"My intelligence is abstract! I have the mind of an artist!" "Oh you have got to be kidding me"
"A piss-artist more like!"he turned away and started walking off again whilst saying
"A rock artist! And I have a world to save, so if you're going to hold me up then…" Scaramouche followed him.
"Hold you up! Listen mate. We're in this together, and despite the fact that you're emotionally immature, scared of commitment AND you kept your socks on, I'm staying!"
"Suit yourself!"
"Don't worry I will!". After that the two of them started arguing uncontrollably, mimicking each other at every given moment, Gaz even pushed Scaramouche at one point and started poking her, then he jumped in front of her doing some weird pose and shouted out, to no-one in particular,
"Give it to me one more time!" but Scaramouche, out of breath from walking and fighting with Galileo, had just enough strength left in her to slowly say
"In… your… dreams, mate!" then she stormed off and Gazza followed her.
Scaramouche and Galileo had been walking for a while until they came across this wide open space with a bar at one end and lots of tables and chairs leading up to them, at the table nearest them sat…
"Big Macca! Meatloaf! You guys are all here! It's so good to see you!" Gaz shouted and he was right, all the Bohemians were there, either sitting at the tables or on the floor leaning against a wall. Scara was more concerned about how they had gotten away from Khashoggi
"How did you escape?" but Gazza wasn't bothered about that
"This is fantastic. The Bohemians are back! The fight is on!" but then Paul turned to Galileo and simply said
"Do I know you, kid?", it wasn't until then that Scaramouche noticed the blank emotionless looks on the Bohemians faces, almost like all the Gaga Kids except they at least smiled, then a man stepped out from behind the bar.
"Your friends aren't there, dude. Their bodies are, but their spirits are gone. They've been processed, man" Galileo and Scaramouche walked over to the bar and Galileo spoke "What do you mean?"
"This is where they all come, the guys and chicks who tried to break on through to the other side and failed. They come to drown themselves in the Seven Seas of Rhye- Rye Whiskey, man, the last comfort of those who have rocked" the man put a bottle down on the counter and it was Scara's turn to talk
"Why do they come here?"
"You mean apart from in order to get permanently pissed?"
"Yes"
"There's something about this place, it's like there's a spirit here. Long ago, before global warming, the lake was much smaller. Who knows, maybe there's something beneath the water. Something those washed-out mothers need to be close to". There was still one thing Scaramouche wanted to know
"So who are you?"
"I was a librarian, Astral Babe. At the place where the Secret History is kept. I got a little too interested in the stuff I was reading"
"They processed you?"
"They tried, but I guess I knew too much, they couldn't zap it all. I may be pretty screwed up but I'm still the most together dude at the Seven Seas. That's why I'm the barman" Scaramouche was getting even more interested
"So you remember something of what you read? Of the secret history?"
"I remember one story. A legend so strong and powerful that they could not wipe it from my brain. Would you like to hear it?" "Well no duh"
"No, I thought we'd just have a quick drink and bugger off!" that seemed to get to him "Ouch! Balls broken!". Galileo who had been silent for a while spoke up
"Of course we want to hear it, Mr, uhm…"
"Pop, they call me Pop"
"Well then, strange and mysterious dude named Pop, perhaps you could…".
"Well it seems that long ago, in the first decade of the Twenty-First Century, there were those who foresaw the nightmare that was to come. This was at the very beginning of music homogenisation, a time of boy bands and girl bands… and boy and girl bands… and girl bands with a couple of boys who looked like girls… They called them bands but they weren't bands at all. They were just pretty-pretty dancers with multi-tracked voices" "It's been that way ever since"
"Exactly. A three hundred year bum vibe"
"It all sounds so plausible, but how can you be so sure?"
"Because it was foretold. Take a look at this". Pop then walked behind the bar and pulled out a square-type piece of black plastic which seemed to impress Gaz "that guy is impressed by anything, he probably looks at the back of his hand and says "wow look at that""
"Wow! What is it?"
"It's a "Vy-dayo"… a "VY-DAYO TARP". An ancient scroll of holy text" all the Bohemians were impressed as well as they all reached up for it as Pop walked past "they all want it you know. They all want the "VY-DAYO TARP", but I've got it… it's mine… it's my precious. It's a message from the past. A warning laid down for us in antiquity. I stole it on the day I was captured and through ten long years of Hell in a laser cell I kept it hidden… secreted… out of sight… wedged deep within the murky cleft of my sweaty…" now it was Scara's turn to speak
"Too much information Pop! Just tell us what it is" as Pop moved his hand around with the "VY-DAYO" in it Scaramouche made sure she was nowhere near it. "watch this oh ye seekers after truth… I'll just slip the VY-DAYO in the teelee… listen to precious and learn" Pop pulled a sheet off of a bigger square with a piece of glass in the middle, he then put the VY-DAYO inside it and pressed a button, four men appeared on the screen and started singing.
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…
Pop then spoke, slightly disappointed "that's all there is. The rest is unfortunately is an episode of something called "Big Brother"" the Galileo, who had been sitting on the floor watching, spoke up
"But that was so beautiful. What does it mean?"
"Isn't it obvious? "is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"". "God, these two are so alike, they think that everyone knows what they're going on about"
"yeah?" Scaramouche said, trying to get Pop to continue
"Cyber-Space! The scroll speaks of a soulless, virtual world where the kids would be "caught in a landslide" of Computer Recorded Anodyne Pop… C-R-A-P!" then Gaz understood
"Crap!".
"Exactly! The scroll speaks of a time when "Crap" would dominate the charts. The text begged the kids to "open their eyes…" "
"Look up to the skies…""
" "And see"". By this time Scaramouche had had enough
"Wow! So you really think that's what it meant? I thought it sounded like a load of pretentious old bollocks" Pop and Galileo both looked at her and Pop spoke
"No way, crazy lady! These are the words of truth. If only we knew the rest of the text" yet again, Gaz got that look, as if he was remembering one of his dreams
"I think I know some of it. Tell me, old wise one, what does "Bismillah. We will not let you go- let me go. No no no no no. mama mia mama mia, mama mia let me go. Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me" mean?" Scaramouche didn't even need to say anything as Pop answered with more or less what she was thinking
"Actually I think that bit probably WAS a load of pretentious old bollocks". Galileo was still interested though "but who created the scroll? Who were these geniuses, these visionary prophets?"
"Warriors, Titans! Members of a rock freedom fighter collective known as… Queen! And having issued their warning, and having incidentally spent nine weeks at Number One with it, despite what were quite frankly some rather dodgy stage outfits, Queen decided to fight back!..." Pop then pulled a chair away from one of the tables, obviously not realising there was someone in it, the Bohemian then fell over onto the floor, not bothering to get up for a while. Scaramouche would normally have laughed but she new what had happened to him, Pop then looked down and spoke the Bohemian "alright Cliff?"
"Just a bit pissed Pop" noticing the concerned look on Scara's face, Pop said
"Don't worry about Cliff Richard. He's indestructible!" he then carried on with his story. "In order to protect the future of Rock 'n' Roll, Queen decided to bury their finest instruments against a time when there would be none!" now Scaramouche was even more interested as Gazza said
"You mean real instruments still exist? Somewhere, waiting to be found!"
"Yes. But for three hundred they have lain hidden. Queen wove deep and terrible spells to protect the precious weapons of freedom from abuse by those not worthy of playing them. Even at the beginning of the Dark Age of Globalization, Queen knew that when the time was right, a hero would be found and the instruments would reappear. Perhaps you are that man, Man", but Scaramouche still wanted to know something
"What happened to Queen?"
"The first of their number died young. Too wild, too beautiful for this world. The other three rocked on into the new century, pausing only to create a smash hit musical based on their greatest hits, but during Globalsoft's first battles for the soul of the Planet all three were captured and secretly killed… it is said that the hairiest of the gang, a man named Bri-an, was granted a final wish before execution. He asked to be allowed to play just one last guitar solo… and so was able to delay his death by three and a half days. Where are the instruments, Galileo Figaro?"
"Me? How would I know, man? A couple of weeks ago I was virtually a Virtual High School drop out. Why would the Rock Gods tell me the answer?". Then there was a vast rumbling sound and the ground started shaking, Scaramouche ran over to the nearest table and held on
"What's going on?"
"Don't freak out, sweet lady, they're just draining the lake, they steal our water all the time now, it's almost down to its original level…" then Galileo looked up and saw something
"Look… Look! What is that, emerging from the waters? A man!".