Chapter 5: blah blah blah Shikon Jewel

Inuyasha wanders in the woods and comes across Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo. Oh right….Koga and Sesshomaru are there too.

"hey….im back" says Inuyasha
"Done getting it in the BUTT BY NARAKU?" laughs Miroku
"Inuyasha…." Says Kagome
"Shut up Miroku!" yells Inuyasha
"Where's Kirara?" asks Shippo
"In the woods taking a shit. That's what AIDS does to you." Says Miroku
"Yeah…..speaking of that…..I'm HIV positive" says Sango

--silence--

"AAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughs Miroku
"That's not funny Miroku!" says Kagome
"YES it is. It makes TOTAL sense now how Kirara got it. All those times Sango's been sticking her in her YOU-KNOW-WHAT!" says Miroku
"Sango…you do that?" asks Inuyasha
"Yes we know. It's disgusting." Says Sesshomaru
"Wait…..what's Sango's YOU-KNOW-WHAT?" asks Kagome
"You're a fucking idiot Kagome!" yells Inuyasha
"I hate you Inuyasha!" says Kagome
Inuyasha imitates Kagome-"I hate you Inuyasha!'"
"Ugh! I'm leaving!" says Kagome
Inuyasha imitates Kagome "Ugh! I'm leaving!' This is the MILLIONTH time you've done this! Way to be like Naraku!"
"At least she's not gay!" says Miroku
"At least I'M not a NECRO!" yells Inuyasha

Sango takes out a gun and shoots herself in the face, blowing it into a tree.

"WHAT the FUCK?" screams Kagome
"Well that ruined the mood for sex" says Koga
"yes….yes it did" says Sesshomaru
"Well at least now Miroku can have his way with her, since she's dead and all!" says Koga

Inuyasha picks up Shippo and eats him.

"WHAT the FUCK?" screams Kagome…again
"Well that ruined the mood for sex….again" says Koga…again
"I actually thought that was pretty hot" says Sesshomaru
"Grrrr you like that do you?" says Koga with a smirk on his face

Koga and Sesshomaru wander in the woods….hmmmm I wonder why?

"I hate this place Inuyasha and I hate you! I'm going home!" yells Kagome
Miroku imitates Kagome, "Meh meh meh I have sand in my vagina. GO AHEAD AND LEAVE! No one likes you ANYWAY!"
"OMG!" screams Kagome

Kagome runs toward the well. But trips and falls face first into the side of it, knocking her unconscious. Luckily she falls into the well. Miroku turns to Inuyasha.

"Yes Inuyasha." Says Miroku, "Go after even though you are gay. Go after her even though you've done this nearly EVER EPISODE! And go after her so I can get my freak-on with Sango"
"You're sick Miroku" says Inuyasha

Inuyasha runs off to the well and hops in. Miroku picks up Sango's head-less body and walks deeper into the woods, whistling to himself.

"I'm gonna get LA-AID tonight!" he sings

Kirara dies from shitting too much. Meanwhile Koga and Sesshomaru are skinny dipping in a nearby pond.

"Who wants to play the game Who's In My Mouth?" asks Koga
"I vant to!" says Sesshomaru raising his hand

Rin pops out of the woods

"CAN I PLAY A GAME TOO?" she says

Koga takes out his sword and slices her in half.

"No" he says
"Ooooooooooh!" says Sesshomaru

Kikyo is walking through the woods when she falls of a cliff and dies. Kagome wakes up in her own bed. A soft pillow. A nice blanket. Inuyasha next to her. A soft mattress. Wait….Inuyasha next to her? Kagome jumps up, realizes she's not wearing anything, throws on clothing, and smacks Inuyasha's face. He jumps up, realizes he's not wearing anything, and throws on clothing.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" asks Kagome
"You fell into the well" says Inuyasha
"I MEANT IN MY BED!"
"sleeping…..?"
"I MEANT NAKED NEXT TO ME!"
"Oh…that's cause we had sex"
"Uhhhhh……." Says Kagome with her right eye twitching
"What?"
"So you raped me?"
"You were unconscious….so you didn't really….RESIST it"
"You still raped me. And YOU'RE GAY!"
"A MINOR inconvenience."
"Inuyasha….."
"Jesus Christ what is it now?"
"Well…I'm pregnant"

Inuyasha's jaw drops to the floor. Kagome's mom enters the room, picks it up, and walks out. Screams are heard from her getting shot from a stray bullet from someone robbing a nearby store.

"You're what?" asks Inuyasha
"I think it's Koga's…or Sesshomaru's…..but yeah….I'm pregnant" says Kagome

Inuyasha takes out a knife and stabs her YOU-KNOW-WHAT

"Now you're not". shouts Inuyasha, "WUHAHAHAHAHHA!"

He grows wings and blows through the ceiling. He flies up higher and higher and gets hit by a passing airplane and drops to the ground and dies.

Kagome, "Well that ruined the mood for sex"
Kagome's younger brother, "Yes….yes it did"

THE END!

Thank you ALL for reviewing and reading this, my FIRST fanfic! Many have asked to continue this series, well if you review alot asking for it, PERHAPS I WILL! There are a few people id like to thank

The Providence Crow-for reading my fanfic!
inu2kagfan-for reading AND reviewing to all of my chapters!
Kodocha08-for the EXACT SAME THING!
inuyashas true self-for the SAME THING! I THANK THEE!
-neko-yasha-luvs-inu--for really great reviews that helped me keep writing!
And YOU, yes YOU, the one who's reading this! I thank you I thank you I thank you

I will write another Inuyasha Facfic called "Inuyasha's Not Pregnant cuz he's i guy" which is a MORE FUNNY, MORE CRAZY, MORE FREAAAKING WIERD Inuyasha fanfic! MMMMMMMMMMBLAH BIOTCHES!

-Zeph