Limp Lettuce and Chicken Muck

Title: - A Muggle Adventure Part 2 (Limp Lettuce and Chicken Muck)
Date of Draft: -2001 - Updated 06/12/05
Author: - Ibanez
Rating: - PG
Warnings: - Slash, Harry/Draco
Authors Note: - I have nothing against MacDonald's, itsfood or even itsstaff, to me they are all great in their own unhealthy way. The food isn't too bad either. This is just a fic, so read and enjoy. Contains mild Slash!

MacDonald's was a strange place to Draco. He had been to restaurants before, and the ones he had been to you had to dress up in your finest robes and House Elves would serve you the finest food imaginable for a pocketful of Galleons. This however, was an entirely different ball game. After what seemed like hours standing in the wrong queue, they finally got to the counter where some spotty teenager asked them for their order.

"Okay!" Harry began. "I'll have Chicken McNuggets..."

"Eww, that's disgusting!" Draco Exclaimed loudly. His nose was wrinkled up.

Harry didn't understand.

"How can someone order Chicken Muck in a restaurant?" He said with disgust.

"Eh? Oh! No, its just a name, yunno, like McDonalds, Big Mac, and McNuggets."

The cashier behind the counter looked at Draco as if he had come from another planet. Harry continued, "Anyway, Chicken McNuggets, with regular Fries and a cola. What do you want blondie?" Harry asked smiling, indicating the menu.

Draco gave his trademark smirk. He looked at the menu and frowned. "I dunno what is what? Ooh that looks nice." He pointed to a picture of a plump Big Mac"

Harry ordered the meal not forgetting to get Draco some cola and fries. Two bags were deposited on a brown tray with their drinks. Harry paid the cashier and took Draco to find a spare seat. Harry pointed to an available table in the middle. He and Draco sat down opposite each other.

"I wanna sit by you." Draco said giving Harry a seductive grin.

Harry replied with a wide grin. "I'd let you sit on my lap, but I am starving. Dragging you around London has giving me an appetite."

"Well then, I'll just have to move over." He got up and went to drag he seat over to Harry. He gripped the seat and tugged. "Nngh!" He grunted, unable to move the seat. He got down on his knees and looked at where the seat was securely bolted to the floor. "Why the hell would someone do that!" He almost fumed. Passing people looked down at him kneeling on the floor fiddling with the bolts on the chair.

"Get up your making a fool of yourself again. They are all bolted to the floor, so people don't steal them." Harry tried to sound serious but he was chuckling through his cola.

Draco got up a bit red faced and sat back down. "Who in their right mind would steal a chair?"

"You'd be surprised. Eat your food." Harry laughed, pointing at his brown bag.

Draco dipped into the bag and pulled out a polystyrene container. Popping it open his face dropped. "Gah! They gave me the wrong one." He looked mortified.

"No, that's what you wanted, a Big Mac."

"No I wanted that!" He pointed to the nice plump Big Mac on the Menu. He got up, taking his burger with him, and he held it up next to the picture.

His burger looked like Hagrid had sat on it at some point. The buns had slid so half the relish was oozing over his fingers. The burger looked like it had been in Snape's underwear draw for a few months prior to being put in Draco's meal. The lettuce, which should have been a dewy bright translucent green was actually vaguely green with brown edges.

"This is not what I ordered." Draco said blankly.

"It tastes okay though." Harry said as Draco returned to his seat. Tentatively, Draco took a bit out of the burger and the buns slid so far it dropped back into the polystyrene casing. Draco licked his fingers, but stopped when he saw Harry looking at him.

"Please carry on." Harry grinned. Draco gave a light hearted laugh.

"You know, if you don't count the food, the fact that all the furniture is bolted to the floor its not a bad place." Draco licked his fingers again.

It was a matter of minutes before they had finished all there was to be eaten. They got up from the table. Draco again forgot that his chair was bolted to the floor and tried to scoot his chair to get up. No such luck. He resolved to to heaving himself out of the chair, stepping on a piece of limp lettuce and doing the splits in the middle of the restaurant. Harry keeled over in laughter.

A short while later, Harry, who was still laughing uncontrollably was towing a suitably embarrassed Draco.

"That really hurt you know." Draco said clinging to Harry's arm.

"Well at least we got a free large fries out of it." Harry said trying to console him.

"Large? They are the same size as the others, just more salt and more cardboard. Anyway, are we going back on the pipe thingy, I like being that close to you."

"Umm." Harry looked at his watch. "We can, but I'm afraid it won't be that busy, most people will have already got to the place they want to go."

Draco stuck out his bottom lip. "Aww. Can I sit on your l lap then."

"I suppose so."

"Yay," Draco bounced. He pushed Harry against a Newspaper vendor and kissed him on the lips.

"Get a room!" Said the gruff vendor.

"We have one, thanks, but thanks for the advice, we'll shag later." Draco sniggered and kissed Harry again. "So what else are you gonna inflict on me then huh?" He said to the raven haired boy.

"You ever seen a movie?"

"A whattie?"