Author's notes: My stories Gravity and Feasibility Study are prequels to Laws of Motion. This will be a WIP updating every 2-3 days, specific dates will be given at the end of every chapter. The ships are: GS, NOC, GrOC, CW, BLH, HOC. The mood is: romance, angst, humor.
I hope you enjoy!
Maggs
Laws of Motion – Book 1
Written by: Ms Maggs / Edited by: KJT
Prologue
A recap and a glimpse of what's to come...
Sunday, August 29, 2005
The ride home from the party was smooth. Alone in the back of Ron's limo, Sara and Gil buzzed from their biggest and boldest jump outside the lines of their reclusive lifestyle. Sipping non-alcoholic champagne, they celebrated surviving their surprise wedding reception and exchanged brilliant smiles.
On the rear window of the car in big white letters were written the words Just Married (a month ago) and flying from the antennae were two sets of silver streamers…all Catherine's idea. Every time the limo stopped at a red light, people in nearby cars and passersby would stare at the opaque windows of the sleek vehicle and wonder what was going on inside.
People are like limousines. They have a polished exterior, a persona they've crafted for the world to see, and they have an interior hidden from the public eye…
No one was better at hiding from the world than Gil Grissom because he had been skillfully trained by an expert, his mother. For over forty years he guarded his thoughts carefully and shielded his heart even more. Fortunately for him, a special woman came along and offered him a new life. Before all was lost, Gil took a chance and opened his mind and his heart to her, Sara, a woman who was also familiar with the pain of living a solitary life.
By the age of ten, Sara Sidle was an expert at smiling while dying on the inside. It was just easier to let teachers, caseworkers and foster moms think everything was okay. The twenty-five year old habit was hard to break but over the past year, she turned a corner thanks to intensive therapy and a loving and supportive man. She had the security she always craved and now, with a husband to confide in and a tight circle of friends with whom she could share her true thoughts, she spent a lot less time fronting.
Fronting is a skill learned out of necessity. With practice, a person can learn to fool even those closest to him, even his mother. Greg Sanders was labeled gifted in math, science and music by the age of seven. At the age of thirteen he was also gifted in fronting. One routine Monday morning he sat at the kitchen table chatting happily with his mom while polishing off a plate of blueberry pancakes. After taking his empty plate to the sink and grabbing his backpack, he pecked his mother on the cheek and said, see you after school…all the while knowing he planned to commit suicide two hours later.
Mothers are often in the dark when it comes to what's troubling their children….
Bev Sanders had no idea what was going on inside her Greg's mind that morning, no more than the people stopped alongside a limo know what's happening beyond the opaque windows.
When she was nursing her nine year old son back to health, Jillian Stokes had no idea why Nick was really suffering. When he vomited after she returned home and relieved the babysitter she just assumed he had succumbed to the stomach bug going around town. But it wasn't a virus that made her baby boy lose his appetite and barely talk for a week as he lay on the couch hiding under a blanket, either obsessively reading comic books or fitfully sleeping. Twenty-six years later Jillian still had no idea what was going on inside Nick's head, especially not that he thought she failed to protect him one night long ago.
Catherine Willows always knew she should be a better mother but couldn't manage it…at least not without cramping her lifestyle. She loved her daughter, but she also loved her job and her men. Unfortunately, she often did her job and her men when she should have been spending time with her daughter. And although she couldn't do her job from home, she quite often did her men there while her daughter was sleeping…or supposed to be sleeping. If she knew how much her impressionable daughter had seen and heard, Catherine wouldn't have been quite as shocked by Lindsay's behavior with Ryan Blake.
When her husband Paul left after the party to drive his father to the airport, Wendy Blake was still in a state of shock about what transpired between her son Ryan and future neighbor Lindsay earlier in the day. She couldn't decide what was throwing her more…the fact that she didn't know what was going on in her son's mind, or that she could still feel so vulnerable after all these years when Lindsay's accusation against Ryan triggered memories of being raped by Mike Rodgers.
It takes more than time to heal old wounds…
Every time he thought about what happened to him as a kid, Nick Stokes couldn't believe the intensity of his emotions Even though his knowledgeable fiancée assured him numerous times that it was normal to feel so strongly because the memory had been repressed for over twenty years, he hated it and wished it would all disappear. He hated it because it made him feel stupid and weak…just like Shelly had all those years ago. But he knew he needed closure, and closure meant finding out what had become of the woman who took his innocence and tainted his peace of mind. He clung to the hope that Shelly's abhorrent behavior had been a fluke but, as a seasoned CSI, he knew that wasn't so. She was too skilled and enjoyed it too much because not only did she not flinch when he begged and cried for her to stop…she smiled wider. Nick was confident he wasn't her first victim, but what haunted him was the fear he wasn't her last. The only thing standing in his way was finding the courage to tell his mother the shocking story that he knew would cut her deep.
Over the years, Lindsay Willows often wanted to hurt her mother, not physically, but emotionally. She wanted her mother to feel the same pain that she had trapped inside. She wanted her to know what it felt like to have someone who is supposed to love you not care…or ignore you…or act like you're the only thing in the way of a good time. For years the anger had been building inside her and Lindsay knew one day everything bottled up would come out in blaze of rage. All it would take was the right moment, the right words and the right look in her mother's eyes.
As long as she lived, Tawny knew she'd never forget the look in her mother's eyes accompanying her harsh words, 'pack up your shit and get out, you lying whore!' Once a loving mother and wife, Marta Cooper lost her mind after her husband unexpectedly died. Unfortunately for her daughter, she found comfort in the arms of a manipulative and twisted man…a man with a penchant for nubile young girls. For the last six years Tawny waited for a Prince to rescue her from the pathetic life she had made for herself out of desperation. Finally, after kissing too many frogs who never turned royal, Greg came along and changed her life forever.
One man can change everything…
Carrie Blake's life was forever changed when she was preyed upon by pedophile at the age of eight. After a year of suffering, she finally found the courage to cry out for help and her abuser was tried and locked away. Twenty two years later at the trial of another evil man, she met Nick, the guy who would make her whole again. Now, the way things were brewing inside Nick's mind, Carrie knew she would soon have a chance to return the favor and help her fiancé through a dark and difficult time.
Over the years, Warrick Brown watched Catherine struggle through life. Then one day, when the time was finally right, he let her know she didn't have to go it alone. He signed up to be the one man in her life who wouldn't disappoint her or her daughter. It wasn't easy at times, but he had no intention of quitting like his father did when he abandoned him.
Ron Grissom never thought he'd be the type of man to abandon his son. He thought by leaving, he was making things less confusing for Gil, but deep down he knew he was really just helping himself. It was a decision he came to regret over the years but fortunately, with the encouragement of his only confidant, Lina, he took a shot at reconciling with his boy and succeeded forty years later.
Fathers often have good intentions but come up short…
Scott Sanders has been trying for decades to connect with his son but it's hard to bond with your child when your wife monopolizes his time. He understood why Bev did it, having suffered through two still births Greg was her miracle child and she never wanted him out of her sight. Loving her deeply, Scott let his wife spoil their son until the habit was impossible to break. He knew it was her intense spoiling that made Greg reckless, so reckless that at the age of thirteen he boozed himself into a near-coma at a party. After that incident, Scott decided to play the heavy and he laid down the law with Greg. The distance between father and son started growing immediately.
Looking back, Jim Brass could pinpoint exactly when the distance between him and Ellie started to grow but he knew he'd give anything for a re-do, a chance at being a better husband and father. Since that was impossible, he turned to hoping for a fresh start with his grown daughter. Having done his part, getting Ellie into the best drug treatment facility in the area, it was all up to her now and he hoped that she had the strength to see it through this time.
Sometimes hope is all you have to cling to…
That's exactly what convicted murderer Mike Rodgers spent his time doing…clinging to the hope he'd soon be a free man. With a brilliant plan in motion, a loyal brother doing his bidding, and a top-notch lawyer executing his vision, Mike was feeling confident that things would go his way soon enough and when they did, he knew no one would be more shocked and devastated than Gil Grissom. Although, he was quite certain that Nick, Sara and Wendy would give Gil a run for his money in that regard. He wished he could be a fly on the wall when the devastated parties gathered to panic. In the fantasy he always imagined Nick, because he was the emotional one of the group, yelling on behalf of them all, this can't be happening! That's when Mike would flash his nice guy grin and reply, I'm afraid it is, Nicky…and afraid is exactly what all of you should be.
Chapter 1
Sunday, August 29, 2005
Catherine's House
7:57 p.m.
On the car ride home, Catherine had informed Warrick about the shocking events that occurred between Lindsay and Ryan at the party. He was stunned by all of it but sickened by the knowledge that Lindsay could maliciously accuse an innocent boy of a crime he didn't commit.
In the backseat, Lindsay sat in silence the entire time, cognizant that accusing Ryan of sexually taking advantage of her was indeed a horrible thing to do. At the time though, after he said those vicious words, 'I don't like you. I like girls who are...' she wanted to hurt him. Because she knew what he was going to say…I like girls who are prettier, who have better bodies and bigger boobs. She'd watched her mother obsesses over her appearance before dates, she'd heard her pick apart her body piece by piece, sighing and wondering if the new guy would think she was sexy enough. And she heard her mother say plenty of times, after failed relationships, that men were shallow pigs. Today Lindsay saw Ryan as nothing more than a shallow pig in training and that's why she felt comfortable putting him on a spit and watching him fry.
"Take a seat on the couch, Lindsay," Catherine ordered while tossing her keys on the coffee table.
She did as asked and prepared for the smackdown. "I already said I was sorry to Ryan and his mother, what more do you want?"
Appalled by her daughter's flippant attitude Catherine snapped, "What more do I…" Her hands flew to her head as she felt it explode. "What more do I want! A little remorse and some hints that you're not a sociopath, would be a nice start." She turned to Warrick who was standing against the wall with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Can you help me out here? Maybe you can make her understand how serious this is."
"Linds, you know in the past I've said your mom was being too hard on you about stuff, but this time…" Shaking his head he admitted, "…I'm ready to ground you for a year. What you accused Ryan of doing could have gotten him into serious trouble, like juvenile detention center trouble. Do you see what I'm sayin'? Your mom and I work to catch people doing the same thing you did…lying about a crime."
Lindsay swallowed hard. Hearing the disappointment in her mom's tone didn't faze her, but when it resonated in Warrick's, it cut her deep. "I really am sorry."
"For what exactly?" Catherine demanded. "I want to hear specifics. I'm sorry for…fill in the blank."
"Lying about what I said Ryan did." Her eyes darted to Warrick's disgusted expression and then quickly to the floor.
"And…"
Lindsay mumbled, "I'm sorry for going to his room because I know I'm not allowed to be alone with a boy in his room…or my room…or the house."
Catherine pressed on to her other big concern. "And for crying out loud, why were you throwing yourself at him? You're only thirteen, that's too young. Obviously Ryan felt that way because he told you to stop. Don't you realize when you throw yourself at someone it makes you look pathetic?"
Flabbergasted, she glared at her mother. "You're one to talk. You've been throwing yourself at men for as long as I can remember."
"Excuse me!" Catherine raged. "We're talking about you, not me. Don't change the subject."
One glance at Lindsay's eyes and Warrick knew where she was going. A second later he heard it.
"Hey, Mom, guess what!" Lindsay jumped off the couch. "Everything I did today, I learned from you…especially the lying! Before Warrick got here, do you have any idea how many guys I've seen you tackle? I didn't need to watch the movie at school because it was showing in my living room weekly!"
"Sit down!" Catherine screamed.
Warrick stepped in the middle. "This is getting out of hand and…"
"And what about the lying, Mom!" Lindsay raged, ignoring Warrick. "How many times did you lie about stuff so you could get out of doing something with me, huh! Sometimes you were working, but I know there were other times you lied and went out on dates because you brought them back here when I was supposed to be sleeping. Well guess what? I was awake! I'd hear you giggling and would watch you from the crack in my door. Today with Ryan…I was just copying your moves. If you think I'm pathetic, then so are you!" Running out of the room she yelled, "Hypocrite!"
When the door slammed Catherine dropped her head in her hands, and when Warrick pulled her close she sniffled, "She's right."
Nick and Carrie's Apartment
8:09 p.m.
Driving home from her brother's house still buzzing from Gil and Sara's surprise wedding party, Carrie had chatted incessantly with her mother-in-law about the latest plans she and Nick had for their ceremony and reception. In the backseat, Nick enjoyed the happiness in his fiancée's voice and believed the levity in his mother's meant her anger over the closet incident had dissolved. Unfortunately, he was wrong.
"Have a seat, Nicholas," Jillian directed as she took one on the couch. "You didn't think I was going to drop it, did you?"
"No, ma'am." He sat in the arm chair across from her and put his bare feet up on the coffee table. A second later when her brow raised, he placed his feet on the floor.
When Carrie emerged from the bedroom where she had been changing her clothes, she took one look at the body language of both parties and knew the mood had changed.
Sighing, Jillian said, "Some mothers don't parent at all, some feel the job ends when their children turn eighteen, I've always seen it as a lifetime commitment. Nicky, I know you've appreciated that when you've needed me over the years but, it doesn't only work one way. You know I'm here to help you and love you until the day I die, right? If you and Carrie found yourselves homeless one morning with no jobs and no food, you know you'd have two plane tickets to Dallas, a roof over your head and a full belly by lunch. In return for that available level of support I'd like the right to educate you and speak my mind regarding your actions when I see fit. Does that sound like a fair deal to you?"
Nodding he confirmed, "More than fair."
"Good." She glanced over at Carrie, who was trying to look busy leaning over the computer desk. "Are you going to join us?"
"Uh…" Whirling around she stammered, "I wasn't sure if…I didn't want to make more trouble for…yes." She hurried over and took a seat on the arm of the chair Nick occupied.
Now that she had both parties' attention Jillian cut to the chase. "Here's what I heard in the hallway outside the open bedroom door: 'Baby, you feel so good. Oh, Nicky, I'm so close…oh god.'" Seeing them squirm she stopped. "You know the rest, you were there. I didn't need to hear that and certainly impressionable Ryan, Lindsay and Sean didn't. And if you're thinking you're off the hook in that regard, guess again. Sean was the one who told me where you were when I saw him in the kitchen. My guess is he heard plenty and took off when it overloaded his innocent mind."
Carrie and Nick exchanged guilty expressions.
As any seasoned attorney would, after stunning them with her opening statement, she proceeded to make her case. "There are two points I'd like to address. Here's the first. Both of you have careers in the public eye and aspirations to make it to the top of the ladder. If District Attorneys and Crime Lab Directors are discovered in compromising situations their careers are over. Nicky, you should know that better than anyone since you busted Ecklie."
Nick felt compelled to point out, "That's apples to oranges. Ecklie was engaging in illegal activity in a public place and cheating on his wife. Carrie and I got caught up in the moment and did something crazy one time at her brother's house…and it was totally legal."
"Was this the first time the two of you snuck off while at someone else's home and had intercourse?" Jillian asked the guilty parties on cross exam.
Carrie knew an 'A Ha' moment in the courtroom when she heard it. "No, ma'am. It was the second time. How did you find out about the pool house?"
"I overheard Sara and Tawny discussing it when I was at the spa yesterday. Do you see my point…you may think your actions were okay because you were in the company of friends, but they're not. Sara and Tawny thought they were alone in the room when they were talking, luckily it was only me who overheard them. What if it was the Sheriff's wife, or the DA's wife? Are you seeing my point? The bottom line is, don't do anything in the company of others that would discredit your reputation if discovered. How many political scandals have we endured in Dallas?" She shrilled, "Hell, look at the damage Clinton did to the entire Party! Finally we get a Democrat in the White House and because he couldn't keep it zipped we're in Bush hell again! Eight years of Dubya because Billy couldn't keep his willy in his pants."
Nick cracked a smile. "Dad and Andy are still giving you and Barbara crap about that."
"Don't change the subject, Nicolas…Mr. Independent Party."
Carrie piped up, "As a registered Democrat, I feel your pain and understand your point."
Nick wanted to pinch his fiancée for being such a suck up but being in hot water already, he sat on his hands. "Thank you for your insight, Mama. I'll most certainly follow your advice going forward. What's your second point?"
"My second point…" She cleared her throat.
"I'll get you a glass of water!" Carrie jumped up.
"I'm fine, sit down."
Carrie reclaimed her spot on the hot seat. "Let me know if you change your mind."
"My second point is a lesson for you as future parents." Although she wanted to, she didn't smile when she saw Nick take Carrie's hand, showing his obvious excitement at the prospect of a future family. "Children constantly exposed to a sexually charged environment will be negatively influenced over time. The kids in this town already have to deal with in-your-face sex every time they venture out of suburbia. McKenna was counting the Xs as we drove downtown and the sweet thing got to eighty-six."
"I agree." Carrie nodded while donning her Sex Crimes Prosecutor hat. "It can lead to Hypersexualization and premature experimentation."
"That's correct. Even though kids move faster these days, I don't think Lindsay's aggressive sexuality is the result of normal development." Carefully wording her statement she said, "This isn't a judgment, it's a fact…Catherine Willows oozes sexuality, she talks in innuendo no matter who is around, she dresses to display her assets and she's obsessive over her appearance. I wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't shielded Lindsay from any of it. That's why what seemed normal to her completely unnerved Ryan…he's probably never seen someone behave that way."
Carrie sought clarification. "So, we shouldn't demonstrate anything in front of the kids and we should watch what we say even if we think it's going over their heads?"
"By all means role model the good stuff," Jillian countered. "It's healthy to snuggle and kiss and say that you love each other around the kids, just keep it G instead of R because if they're not old enough to watch it on a movie screen, they shouldn't be viewing it in their living room. When in doubt if you're going too far, ask yourself…would I die of embarrassment if this showed up on the six o'clock news?"
"Got it." Feeling comfortable that her future mother-in-law was calm, Carrie decided now would be a good time to take responsibility. "I just want you to know that the incident today was my fault. Any animosity you have about it really should be directed at me, not Nicky, because it was all my doing."
Jillian's laughter filled the room. "With all due respect, Sweetheart, I know you love my boy but…give me a break. You expect me to believe he didn't have any say in the matter?"
"No, what I mean is…I forced him to do it."
Nick knew the 'non-accountability' angle would set off his mother but before he could take responsibility, she railed.
"You forced him to do it?" Jillian gaped at her son. "Is that true, Nicky? You had no say in the matter? Hell, even thirteen year old Ryan knew he had a choice and tossed Lindsay off him and told her to stop. Are you saying you didn't know that option was available to you? Am I supposed to believe you would just lay there letting a woman take advantage of you against your will? Excuse me, but I find that really hard to fathom when you've been chasing tail since you were sixteen."
When Carrie felt Nick's grip on her hand suddenly tighten she knew his mother's choice of words had triggered something.
Jillian continued, half-joking. "All that time in the gym and you can't lift Carrie off you? And what about your voice? Were you somehow rendered mute or did your fiancée simply ignore your protestations? Wait…I clearly heard your voice in the hallway and, as I recall, you didn't sound unhappy. Remember the evidence doesn't lie, Sweetheart."
After gulping down the lump in her throat Carrie said, "Actually, uh…forced was a poor choice of words on my part."
"I'd say it was a poor choice, Counselor," Jillian retorted. "You made it sound like my son was raped."
"I was," Nick answered in a distant tone, a victim of his subconscious longing to tell her the secret he'd harbored for far too long. A sharp inhale followed the disclosure and then he closed down.
"Nicky…" Carrie looked over and their eyes locked. He hadn't intended to tell her for days and he had a plan to break it to her gently. But looking at him she realized the train had left the station and even though neither he nor his mother was mentally prepared, there was no turning back.
Stunned that her boy could make light of the topic, Jillian blasted, "I can't believe you'd joke about something so serious."
"He's not joking," Carrie answered for him in a solemn tone.
Confused, Jillian quizzed, "What the hell are you saying? He really was raped by you? Answer me because I'm not amused!"
When Carrie saw Nick hanging his head she softly said, "Jillian…you had no idea what you said would hurt him but…"
Desperate to understand what was going on, Jillian snipped, "Nick, you know I've never approved of your sexual antics so it shouldn't hurt your feelings when I call you on it. Now stop letting Carrie talk for you and tell me why you tossed that word around so lightly."
"Please! Stop pushing him," Carrie tensely ordered as she felt Nick's body start to shake. "Just back off!" Like that day over the phone when he had a breakthrough, she knew the door had opened for Nick and he was walking through it, only this time the anger would be directed at his mother, not his abuser.
Incensed by the disrespectful tone Jillian barked, "Don't you dare to talk to me that way."
"I'm sorry, but look at him," Carrie answered as tears welled in her eyes. "Does he look like he's joking? Can't you see he's falling apart?"
"No…she doesn't." Nick found his voice and his words were chosen by his wounded heart, not his head. "She didn't figure it out that night, and she's not catching on now either. She only sees what she wants to see. She sees a crystal clear picture when I'm screwing up but not when she does. How the hell didn't you figure it out? It wasn't the stomach flu!" He struggled to fight the rage building.
Jumping up, Carrie stepped in front of him to reason. "Nicky…you're blindsiding your Mom here and you need to calm down. Both of you need to calm down. This isn't how it was supposed to come out. We talked about the right way, remember?" But she knew all too well that years of bottled-up anger, like a dormant volcano erupting, can't be stopped.
"Sit down, Darlin'," he curtly instructed as his heart and mind raced. "I'm about to ooze some of that vulnerability you like and I want you to have a front seat."
The iciness of her son's tone and eyes stunned Jillian as did Carrie's immediate compliance to his request. "Nicky…I'll listen to whatever you've got on your mind, but you need to stay calm and show some respect to your fiancée and to me."
"Yes, ma'am," he snarked, "I'll focus on that while I'm baring my soul telling you how I was terrorized by the babysitter you left me with when I was nine."
"What?" More confused than ever, Jillian wished her boy would cut to the chase. Like the saying goes…be careful what you wish for.
"Did you know anything about her before you left me alone with her? Anything?"
Watching Carrie swipe a tear Jillian pleaded, "Son…what babysitter? What do you mean…"
"Her name was Shelly, that's all I remember." Leaning forward he added, "That and everything else she did to me in my bedroom under the covers while I screamed."
Looking at Carrie, Jillian said, "This is why he said yes when I asked if he was…"
Carrie nodded in silence and watched Jillian's heart break as Nick continued to devastate her.
"You think Sean was traumatized by what he heard coming from the closet today?" Standing up, Nick began pacing the room. "I think you don't know the meaning of childhood trauma. That bitch didn't leave an inch of me unexplored, Mama!" he boomed.
Both women jumped.
"You and your hypersexualized environment talk…the most hypersexualized place I ever was…the most unsafe place I ever was growing up…was under your roof, god dammit!" He raged as he paced. "You think kids shouldn't see inappropriate things in their living rooms. How about having it done to them in their bedrooms? What's your take on that!"
"Please try to calm down, Honey," Carrie urged but knew he didn't hear her.
"She assaulted me with her hands, her body, even my toys!" Sinking deeper into the painful memory his voice cracked. "I cried out but no one was there to help me because the person you hired to watch out for me was doing it to me!"
"Nicky…" Jillian held her sickening stomach and tried to make sense of it all.
"Answer me this time! Did you know anything about her? Or were you just so god damn focused on getting to the big party you didn't bother to care?"
Finally recalling the night and the girl Jillian responded, "She um…was a friend of Dana's. Dana told us…she told us Shelly was an A student and a member of the church choir." Shaking uncontrollably she continued stammering, "She…she was from a good Dallas family. And when your father and I met her that night, she seemed…like a nice girl." Her tears flowed on the last word.
"Well, I guess the apple didn't fall far the tree," Nick announced in a raw voice. "I thought Mike Rodgers was a nice guy and left him alone with Sara, but he turned out to be a maniacal rapist too." After shrugging he nodded, "At least I know where I got my inability to judge a person's character from…I could have used that earlier when Ken was throwing it in my face. And while we're speaking about character..." He moved in closer, staring her down. "All those times you were blasting me about my womanizing, did it ever occur to you that I might have issues beyond an overactive libido? Did you ever think that maybe I couldn't maintain a relationship with a woman because I couldn't trust one? That maybe I was using them because the first sexual experience I ever had was a woman using me and I was looking for a little payback? No, you never did." His voice faded. "Maybe you would have thought about it all a little harder if I was one of your cases instead of just your disappointing son."
Unable to watch Jillian suffer alone, Carrie went and sat next to her, taking her into her arms. The scenario was sadly familiar because she saw it on the job when parents were confronted with the shocking reality that their child had been abused. "I know all of this is really hard to hear," she soothed. "But…"
"Hard to hear!" Nick shouted, hurt that Carrie was directing her compassion towards his mother and not him. "I had to live through it because of her leaving me with that monster, the least she can do is hear about it! Carrie, you know first hand what I'm talking about. Yeah, your dad was outraged when he heard what happened to you, but do you really believe him hearing about it was harder than having that monster shove…"
"Don't!" Carrie yelled as she bit back her tears. "I know you want to hurt your mom because you think she let you get hurt, but it doesn't solve anything to go down that road. There's only one bad person in the equation…the abuser, everyone else is a victim. How many times have you heard me say that? How many times has Sara beaten it into your head that it wasn't your fault that she was almost raped by Mike? How many times, Nicky! You were duped about him. Your mom was duped about Shelly. And you're both hurting right now. The difference is…you knew this was coming and your mom didn't. Look at her …she's completely overwhelmed. Please, she needs some time to absorb it all." With teary eyes she begged, "Please…if not for her, then for me."
Carrie's words jarring him out of his anger trance, Nick saw and heard his mother's heartache for the first time. "Uh…" Suddenly overcome with guilt for lacing into her so hard he panicked. "I've got to go." He rushed for the door.
"Don't drive!" Carrie shouted, knowing he was still over the legal alcohol limit and too emotional to get behind the wheel. When she saw him grab his sneakers instead of his keys, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Call me so I don't worry!"
"You know I always do," He answered automatically as he did when he got left in the middle of the night sometimes to cover a shift.
After the door shut, she returned to comforting Jillian. "He needed to get that out. He'll cool off and…" When she realized her words were being drowned out by Jillian's sobs, Carrie stopped talking and just held her tight.
The Townhouse
9:17 p.m.
"Will you hold still," Tawny ordered as she applied the hair color to Greg's head. In preparation for their trip, she was helping him achieve the California beach vibe she decided he should have. On the way home from the party they had picked up a box of L'Oreal Wheat Blonde at Walgreens and stopped at The Sun Spot to get him a Mist-On tan session.
"Sorry, I've always dyed my hair myself, it's weird having someone else do it." Staring nervously at his dark forearms he remarked, "I think we went overboard on the tan." He glanced up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror from his position on the toilet. "Yeah…definitely."
"It will lighten once you take a shower and the bronzer washes off." Rubbing in the hair color Tawny chuckled, "Honey, you looked way too pale today playing volleyball."
Looking at his coffee-colored skin he returned her laugh. "Yeah, but I'm Scandinavian, not Jamaican."
"You looked Transylvanian." Done with the application she peeled off her latex gloves.
"I do have the urge to nibble on your neck right now. And check this out…" He fanned out the plastic cape she had put around him. "I have a black cape and everything." In a vampire accent he inquired, "Up for a little role play, Dahhling?"
"Stop moving…" she warned while giggling at his pathetic vampire impersonation. "You'll drip dye on the floor and we're renters."
"Rent-free renters."
"All the more reason not to damage the place. Set your watch alarm for thirty minutes." She dried her hands on a towel and proceeded to the large garden tub. "Care to join me in a bubble bath, Count Chuckula?"
"Just don't add any holy water." He carefully removed the cape and his shirt.
Pouring in a second capful of Tropical Breeze bubble bath she posited, "How did you survive church today with all those crosses?"
"The Pastor invited me in."
"Ahhh…that's right, an invitation does the trick." Tossing her clothes she stepped into the steamy tub as it filled. "So, are you planning on going back to church?" After seeing three of her ex-customers and one of her ex-lovers in the pews, she had no intention of returning.
"I'll go for Nick's wedding," he replied while shoving down his shorts and boxer briefs. "I do have to stop by the hospital to see Mrs. Hughes tomorrow and tell her I gave it a shot. She'll be bummed I wasn't reborn. Would you go with me?"
"Of course." Sensing he was anxious about it Tawny said, "For what it's worth, I think you didn't need to be reborn today because you're fine just the way you are. So, don't sweat it, no matter what Mrs. Hughes says to you. And Greg…I know you want to be a nice guy and it's hard for you to say no to her but…after tomorrow, you need to say goodbye. I don't think it's helping your fear of dying nightmares to keep talking to the mother of the guy who tried to kill you, especially when she's a religious fanatic trying to convince you to find religion before you die." Tawny splashed the water. "Come on in."
He did as requested, lying back against the marble and letting Tawny fall back into his arms. "Warrick thought I was nuts for going to church because Tucker's mother asked me to. He totally ripped on me saying I was such a mama's boy I can't even say no to another boy's mama. He's right…I'm a wimp." Groaning he said, "But with you there with me I'll be able to cut the cord…but I want to do it without hurting her feelings." He wrapped his arms around her, smoothed his hand over her bulge and changed the subject. "Speaking of cutting the cord...it's getting bigger." His smile unfurled.
"Eleven weeks big." She slipped out of his arms to shut off the water then quickly returned. "I'm going to ask for a rematch of the trivia game at the next party."
"You're still bummed we came in second place?" Laughing at his overly competitive woman, Greg grabbed the soap and lathered up his hands. "How about a massage to chill you out?"
"Seriously, I figure if we start asking each other questions now and keep it up until our wedding…we'll know everything about each other."
"Uh…if you know that much about me, you probably won't want to marry me." Caressing her soapy body he teased, "Haven't you figured out I'm moving really fast so you don't have time to figure out I'm a dud?"
She ignored him. "What's your favorite book?"
"The Kama Sutra of course," he responded while nibbling on her ear. "Yours?"
"Be serious!" She slapped the water in frustration. "You're supposed to be baring your soul. I'll narrow it down…favorite children's book when you were growing up."
"Winnie the Pooh because my grandmother used to read it to me. I loved it so much I would pretend my stuffed animals would come to life just like Christopher Robin's."
"Even Mr. Peebles?" she giggled, finding the concept of a stuffed donkey as a comfort item just as amusing as Nick.
"Yeah…he was a real smart ass though so the other stuffies didn't like him."
"Good one, Chuckles. Mine was Sleeping Beauty…no surprise there, huh?" She kissed his cheek. "Hey…what was the name of the first girl you kissed?" Tawny cracked up. "I know the first guy was Hodges and I know the first girl wasn't the elusive Becca."
"No, Becca never budged from the top spot on my dying to kiss list." He laughed. "That is until July of this year when I met you and tore up the mental list. I actually did have it in writing in high school. It's probably in my old room somewhere." He laughed hard. "Actually, my mom probably has it in her scrapbook."
Sighing Tawny said, "I'd love to meet this ex-fantasy girl of yours."
"You will on Friday."
"What!" She bolted up in the tub.
"At the club…she'll be at…"
"You never told me she's still in California!"
"I thought it was implied when my mom was talking about her." Confused, he asked, "You just said you wished you could meet her so, what's the big deal?"
"Oh my god! I didn't really mean it! It was a figure of speech." Clutching her head she breathed erratically. "I had a nightmare about this, but I didn't think it mattered because she wasn't around, but now that I know she's around..."
"Breathing…breathing…" Greg coached. "Hey, I'll be good in the delivery room, don't you think?"
Tawny continued sharing the details of her nightmare. "Becca suddenly realizes what a big mistake she made all these years and tells you she wants to be with you just as you're about to propose to me and you give my ring to her!"
Laughing he said, "That nightmare…her realizing she must have me, used to be my dream. Trust me, I know it can seem very real when you're sleeping but, it never happened in reality and it won't on Friday. And even if it did, you're the one having my babies, not her. And you will be the one wearing my r…"
"So, are you saying that if we were in California together and I wasn't pregnant, you'd go for it if Becca offered?"
"Oh, I get it." He nodded as he watched the panic build in her eyes. "This is one of the conversations where I can't possibly say the right thing. Nick warned me about this scenario and told me how to handle it." Standing up he smiled. "I'm shutting up now and getting you some chocolate."
The Blakes
9:29 p.m.
Once Ashley and McKenna were asleep and Sean was in bed with his head buried in a book, Wendy went to Ryan's door and knocked lightly. "It's Mom, I'm coming in." She waited briefly and then opened the door. She was stunned to find him reading. "What do you have there?"
"A book." He closed it quickly and dropped it beside him.
The move making her suspicious, Wendy stepped beside the bed and took the book. Fanning through the pages of Treasure Island, she checked to see if he had booty pictures hidden inside.
"I was reading it, not using it to hide something," he droned.
Feeling guilt for the second time that day, Wendy took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. It's just…after fighting with you to pick up a book for the entire school year it was hard to believe you were actually reading one on your own."
Lying on the bed he shrugged. "Nick said I need to keep up my grades if I want to stay on the football team in high school and college."
"Ah." She smiled and returned the book making a mental note to thank Nick for that too. "How about we go to Barnes and Noble tomorrow and get you a few new ones. Maybe the Harry Potter books? Because you like the movies."
"That would be cool. I hear people talking about them at school."
"It's a plan then…just you and me. Your dad has the day off and he can watch everyone else. I'll take you to lunch too…you pick the place."
Confused by the spoiling Ryan asked, "Shouldn't you be punishing me, not rewarding me?"
"Honestly…" Wendy lowered her head. "I feel really bad about how I handled things today. You shouldn't have had a girl in your room, but I never said not to so, you weren't breaking a rule. And you didn't lie about anything. And you knew that you shouldn't be doing what Lindsay wanted to do. You did everything right."
"Kinda hard to believe from me, huh?"
"A mother should have more faith in her child." Brushing her son's hair off his forehead Wendy smiled. "My mom didn't believe me about something very serious once and it hurt real bad. I should have known to give you the benefit of the doubt no matter what you've done in the past to make me think you're irresponsible. I promise I'll do better in the future."
"There won't be a next time," Ryan emphatically stated. "I'm hanging a 'no girls allowed' sign on my door in the morning."
Finding her smile again Wendy said, "Except for me and your sisters, right?"
"I guess." He smiled back. "Can we put my trophies in the living room?"
"Why?" She glanced over at his full shelves and teased, "I thought you liked to lie here and admire them."
"I do, but if they're in here and I don't let girls in my room, how will I ever impress them when I do want them to kiss me?"
She threw a pillow at him. "You have my sense of humor you know." Shaking her head she asked, "Have you decided what you want to do for your birthday party?"
"Laser Tag and pizza with the guys. What did Sean ask to do?"
"I'll tell you if you promise not to make fun of him." Wendy sighed, still amazed by the request and that she said yes.
"I promise." He hoped he could keep it.
Closing her eyes she said, "He asked to go to Mr. Grissom's body farm."
The Grissom's
9:48 p.m.
As she sat in her home office sifting through mail, Sara realized how quiet the house was compared to the mayhem at the Blakes. It was a reminder of how kids change everything. As usual when she had that thought, Sara felt a twinge of panic and wondered…would a child really fit into this world of books and bugs?
At the BBQ she had observed how at ease Nick and Greg were with the kids. They were both naturals. Gil, on the other hand, fit in with the adults and Sean, who was an adult trapped in an adolescent body. What stood out the most was his inability to connect with McKenna and it fueled her concern about potentially having a girl instead of a bug-loving, Body Farm intrigued boy. Not that girls couldn't have those interests too but, scientifically speaking, a boy's brain wiring would increase the odds. Even still, Ryan had no inclination to dig up beetles or watch flesh rot. There were no guarantees.
In silence she lamented over how Nick and Greg seemed to be able to flex their personalities to get along with any of the children while Gil looked at Ryan and McKenna as if they were alien life forms and politely smiled. Then she realized that's how Nick and Greg were with adults too…personable and comfortable, not words that were commonly used to describe her husband's interpersonal skills or lack thereof.
Catching a glimpse of her reflection on the glass of a framed picture on the wall, Sara remembered her husband wasn't the only one who had issues relating. Then she saw the diamond ring on her finger and was reminded that she and Gil had already come a long way…but only amongst friends. What would happen when their child went to school? She had heard Wendy speak of volunteering in the classroom, PTO meetings, kids birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese and other parent interaction nightmares. How would they navigate those interpersonal minefields?
"Penny for your thoughts," Gil said from the doorway to his wife's office.
"Uh…" Grabbing a pile of mail she replied, "The junk mail really piles up quickly, doesn't it?"
"That's not what you were thinking about."
"Would you believe I was letting my insecurities get the better of me and obsessing over how I'll get along with our unborn child's classmates' moms?"
Nodding he entered the office. "That I believe." He took a seat on the edge of her desk. "Was it the PTO bake sale or the birthday party at Chuck Cheese fueling your paranoia this time?"
"Chuck E Cheese." She slumped in her chair. "I know it's irrational. I just don't want our child to be a pariah like…"
"Me."
"Or me." She smiled. "Not that there's anything wrong with you…well, not since you wised up and married me."
"Is that so, Mrs. Grissom?" Leaning over, he waited for her to join her lips with his, the warmth of the kiss melting away any negative thoughts.
"So…" She sat reclined back in her desk chair, enjoying the taste of her husband's minted breath on her tongue. "Did you find a good spot for the birdhouse?"
"I hung it on a tree viewable from the kitchen window so it can be enjoyed while preparing meals." He smirked before finishing his wise-ass statement. "So I guess that means you won't be seeing it much."
"Keep it up and you'll be sleeping alone on your one-month just married honeymoon." Resuming her mail sifting she chuckled. "I doubt that's much of a threat since we already consummated our union in your dad's limo." She wondered if Ron and Lina had shared a kiss when they drove Gil's Mercedes home.
"Yep." He stood up returning her laughter and headed for the door. "I'm through with you for the night. Besides…I want to be well rested for my first day back at the lab tomorrow. My suspension is over in eight hours…not that I'm counting."
"You're too busy drooling in excitement to count." With her silver letter opener Sara sliced into a pale yellow envelope. "Hmm…"
"What?" He stopped in the doorway.
"Someone sent me a birthday card from Oswego, New York." She stared at the postmark on the envelope. "I don't know anyone there and no one ever sends me a birthday card in the mail except my dentist or insurance agent."
"Well open it and find out." His curious mind hated suspense.
A smile unfurled on her face. "Is this one of your tricks?" She flashed her ring. "Like when you put my diamond ring in a package and pretended it must be the framed butterfly I ordered?" Suddenly excited she guessed, "Is it opera tickets?"
"Sorry…" He came to rest standing next to her. "I'm getting creative for your birthday but, since it's not for two weeks I haven't put my plan into motion yet."
"Hmm." Reaching in, she pulled out the flowery card and studied the words decorating the front.
I'd never forget your special day…
Gil watched closely as Sara opened the card.
Because I'm always thinking of you.
Happy Birthday!
In unison their eyes read the words handwritten below the card's greeting.
Will Gil remember your birthday this year, Sara?
Or will he be a jerk and let you down again?
He doesn't deserve you, Sara.
He's never deserved you.
A woman like you needs a real man to keep her warm at night.
One day we'll be together.
Make a wish on your candles to make it happen soon.
Happy Birthday…celebrate it like it's your last.
"Don't move," Gil ordered as he rushed out of the room to grab his kit.
Sara saw the card shaking. "It's him." She always knew they hadn't heard the last from Mike Rodgers because he wasn't the type to let someone else have the last laugh. He was the type of guy who smiled at his girlfriend before pushing her over the edge of a cliff.
With his kit in hand Gil returned panting. "It's just talk, Sara." Snapping on a pair of gloves he soothed, "You know how they like to mark anniversaries from behind bars. They get bitter." He took the card from her trembling hands and slipped it into a plastic evidence bag. Then he packaged the envelope and the letter opener Sara had used. "Come here." Taking her in his arms he soothed, "Don't let him win. It's just words on a card. It's his only recourse."
Locking her eyes on his Sara asked in a tremulous voice, "Is it?"
Author's Notes:
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Chapter 2 will post on Saturday, 8/20
Maggs