ENJOY!
Back To The Snowy Desert Of NOTHINGNESS Where Ben And Riley Have Somehow Survived The Explosion
Riley: Wow, we like, totally survived that explosion
Ben: Course! Come with me if you want to live. - says like Arnold Swarsoiweroiherhnsjfidegger - There would be no movie without NICOLAS CAGE!
RILEY: WE'RE STUCK IN A SNOWY DESERT OF NOTHINGNESS!
BEN: Nah jus' chill there's a lil' town about 9 miles from here that I never told Ian and his crew about
RILEY: Rock.
Some Place Back In The USA Where Ben And Riley Obviously Escaped To
BEN - crying - : I've lost my friends!
RILEY - getting excited - : You've got me!
BEN - crying even harder - : I'VE LOST MY FRIENDS!
The audience starts to feel bad for poor Nicolas when the attention is drawn back to the main threat. DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
RILEY: Awwwww they're SO going to prison for stealing the Declaration of Independence.
BEN: I taddle!
Some Office In The District Of Columbia
SECRATARY: Mr. Notgate, the Doctor will see you now.
RILEY: I'm so proud of you to get help for your mental issues - glows -
BEN: Shut up.
RILEY: Right.
Some Little Office Where The Hot Lady Awaits
RILEY -drooling- : Is that the doctor? SHE'S HOT!
HOT LADY: Sit down.
BEN -checking out the Hot Lady- : Nice collection
HOT LADY: Excuse me?
BEN: I said nice pin collection
HOT LADY: Oh, right, well yeah 'cept the fact that I am only missing one.
BEN: Straight to the point, I would like to see the Declaration of Independence.
HOT LADY: Pshhhh why?
BEN: You're not going to believe me.
HOT LADY: Try me.
BEN: Okay, well there is this little fact that there could be something wrong with it and it is in danger so I would like to have it first so I can win!
HOT LADY: Sounds like a treasure hunt. Don't think so.
RILEY: Yeah that's where we lost the FBI
BEN: But you have to believe me! There is something on the back of it that I must see!
HOT LADY: Don't think so and trust me that there is NOTHING on the back of the document that I could be proven wrong about later on in this movie! I won't let you see it!
BEN: That's just it! It's invisible!
THAT LINE: -is so corny-
RILEY: Yeah, that's where we lost homeland security.
NOTHING: -is funnier than that line-
Back To Plan 1
BEN: I steal document
RILEY: You go to prison!
BEN: Shut up and get me in.
RILEY: It's impossible!
BEN: Not if we set off the heat sensors so that way they take it way down into the cool and creepy basement where I can go and get it while there is no one looking!
RILEY: DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME! YOU'LL GO TO PRISON FOR LIFE PLZ DON'T LEAVE ME YOUR MY ONLY FRIEND BECAUSE I'M REALLY STUPID AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I'M PASSING HISTORY CLASS IS BECAUSE YOU TELL ME ALL THE ANSWERS!
Audience: -gasp!- awww you'll SO go to prison!
RILEY: . . .
BEN: I don't care what you say because I am the one with the pipe here and I know all the answers to this riddle so all I have to do is find out a way to get the Declaration of Independance before Ian without getting caught! It's a sinch!
RILEY: Besides the fact that there are heat sensors beneath the 4 inch bullet proof glass that will go off if you have a high fever and will go down a bizillion feet below solid concrete when it's not on display that leads into a vault that is electronically opened as well?
BEN: Yup. Just follow my plan.
RILEY: Right.
Some Little Office Where The Hot Lady Awaits
SECRATARY: Ma'am, you have a present.
HOT LADY: Gimme!
The Hot Lady opens a small box from Mr. Notgate to find the pin she was missing. Eyes gloss over and the audience becomes sentimental momentarily.
I'll be brief...REVIEW! -smiles-