There were no more incidents of flashbacks during the day, which was a relief for everyone concerned. Gallagher avoided talking about the things that upset him the most, and Jack found that he was afraid to ask his clone to continue with the memories, worried that the guy would retreat into a place that even Jack wouldn't be able to reach.
He had stayed with Gallagher throughout the day, allowing Teal'c the chance to get out of there to relax, meditate or do whatever Teal'c wanted to do. Jack would get his chance to get away from the tension of that place when he made his obligatory visit to tell Mackenzie everything that happened while he was with Gallagher. Landry was right; Jack was looking forward to the chance to get out of there, if even for a little while.
It wasn't because of the tension in the air, or because of his own memories slipping through the wall he had built up to protect himself that had him wanting to get out of there. It was because he had come face to face with the real Jack O'Neill. He was seeing first hand what others saw when he had come back from a particularly trying time. He now knew the frustration of trying to get through the façade he had always hid behind, afraid to let others see the shame he felt toward his own failures as he remembered the doubts and the fears he held in his mind. Gallagher was Jack O'Neill and Jack knew without a doubt that it was going to take some doing to get the kid to talk about what was really scaring him.
The good news is that he now had an inkling of what it was Gallagher was hiding from. Taria was the key here and Jack wondered what could have happened to cause his clone to panic at the very thought of her betrayal. He knew himself well enough to know that there was more to this whole thing than a woman's betrayal, but getting that information out of a stubborn and scared Jack O'Neill was going to be a job in itself.
A change of clothes had been provided when Gallagher was allowed to take a shower and get cleaned up again. Jack wondered why they hadn't thought of this in the first place. No wonder the guy had been freezing when he had first been left in this cell. The clothes he was wearing worked well for someone who lived in a hot, dry climate, but they were much too lightweight for life in the SGC. Gallagher was now decked out in BDUs, complete with a shirt over a t-shirt and heavyweight pants. Carter had come through in finding a sweatshirt for him to wear when the room got too cold for him and at the moment Gallagher was wearing that thing, as well. The temperature of the room was now set at a comfortable 72 degrees Fahrenheit, and Jack was prepared to punch anyone who dared to suggest turning up the heat.
He and Daniel were sitting at the table quietly playing a game of chess, while Gallagher lay on his bed wrapped up in his blanket and trying to stay awake. Carter had left earlier saying that she would be back to eat dinner with them, but for now she had some work she wanted to get done. Jack tried not to show his exasperation with her and her workaholic habits, but she knew what he was thinking and had told him not to miss her too much, which caused him to smile at the time, as well as every time he thought of it. He truly loved that woman.
Daniel was trouncing Jack at chess, which seemed to be the norm lately. Jack was always surprised when he lost. "You cheated, didn't you?" he asked his friend as he tried to find a way to save the game anyway.
"How can anyone cheat at chess?" Daniel asked, as he pointed at the board. "Checkmate, Jack."
"You took advantage of the fact that I wasn't paying attention," Jack replied, which caused Daniel to stare at him in surprise.
"You weren't paying attention? How was I supposed to know? You always have that vague, blank look on your face."
This time it was Jack's turn to look surprised. "I do not always have a vague look on my face," he said indignantly, then realized that he had forgotten to add the word 'blank' to his sentence and rushed on to clarify that point, as well. "And I'm not blank either," he added.
Daniel just grinned at Jack, telling him without words that he was not fooled for a minute. "Wanna play another game?"
Jack ended up only nodding at Daniel. He vaguely wondered where Teal'c was, as he should be returning anytime now. "General?" he heard Gallagher call out and he looked over toward the bed where the kid was last seen.
"Yo," he said in response, hoping that this was not one of those dreams. Jack's chin was still sore from the punch he'd received the night before.
"Do you think I could get out of here for just a little while? Just to the surface, that's all," Gallagher pleaded. "You can have me handcuffed and accompanied by fourteen guards, whatever you think. I just want to see the sky."
Jack didn't know what to say to that. His first instinct was to just tell the guy no and be done with it. But he heard the desperation in the man's voice, and along with his own desires to leave this place, he was hard pressed to deny him just a few minutes of freedom from the cell. He sighed when he realized that he really didn't have a choice. "It's not totally up to me," he said quietly.
Gallagher didn't respond, which surprised Jack. He had thought he was going to be bombarded with words and pleas from the kid. Instead he got this silence and Jack wasn't so sure he liked it. Had the guy totally given up on everything?
He turned back to the game Daniel had set up and tried to concentrate on making a move, but guilt was building up in him, making it hard to think of anything but Gallagher's request. What could it hurt to let him see the damn sky?
"I didn't get a chance to appreciate anything while I was on that planet," Gallagher said from his cocoon. He was lying on his side staring at them as he talked and Jack tried not to let the words sink into his mind. He was not going to give in, he thought with determination.
"I was too busy trying to stay out of trouble," Gallagher continued. "I had finally learned my lesson and did everything I could to keep the guards from noticing me. Bad things happened when the guards noticed me." He grimaced and Jack wondered again what his clone was thinking.
"At first I thought I was going to die from heat stroke," Gallagher said. "That place was like a sauna. I had a hard time breathing because of the suffocating heat, but I used to try and remember the trees and the clear skies of home to try to survive that heat."
Well it's about time, Jack thought with a grin, as he realized there was still some hope for his clone. The guy hadn't given up on anything yet. "All I can do is ask," he said to pacify the man.
"Do you remember that time you were stranded on Edora?" Gallagher asked suddenly, and Jack noticed that Daniel was now staring at him. Jack remembered all right, he just didn't want to continue with that memory. He now knew where his clone was heading and he resented Gallagher's intrusion for bringing it up.
"I loved those times when it was just me and that canoe on the lake," Gallagher said, not bothering to wait for Jack's acknowledgement. "There were no demands, no one wanting something from me, just the water and the boat and the sky to keep me company. Do you remember what you thought when you were out on that boat, Jack?"
"You're not going to get out of here until you tell us all about Taria," Jack countered, hoping to keep Gallagher from succeeding in his bid for freedom. It would have been a different story if the kid hadn't tried to use Jack's own feelings against him.
"Jack," Daniel spoke up in warning, the tone of his voice clearly telling Jack to be careful with the direction he was headed.
Gallagher glared at Jack, then turned on his back to stare at the top bunk. "That sky looked so much like Earth's sky," he continued, deciding to go on with the memory anyway. "It was the same color and everything. The only difference as far as I could see was that it was not the sky I had always taken for granted.
"So you liked looking at the Edoran sky," Jack said warily. "What's that got to do with your current predicament?"
Gallagher didn't respond, which Jack was starting to get used to. He no longer worried about Gallagher's sanity. That guy was as sharp as a tack and knew very well how to work his magic around people to get his way. Too bad he had tried to use that stuff on the one man who could see right through those tactics, having used them to his own advantage for as long as he could remember. "Is it my move?" he asked Daniel.
"Yeah," Daniel said. "Gallagher, did you happen to notice if there were any interesting artifacts in Hulmeshur?"
Where did that come from? Jack thought, as he and Gallagher stared with surprise at Daniel, who looked from Jack to Gallagher before asking, "What?"
"I wasn't looking for artifacts, Daniel," Gallagher finally responded. "A little thing like trying to survive and finding a way to escape sort of took top priority while I was there."
"I was just wondering," Daniel said with a shrug. "SG-3 brought back a small rock that had a symbol engraved on it, I just thought that maybe there were more."
Jack moved his pawn on the board, then looked over at Gallagher, who had suddenly got up and was pacing back and forth in front of his bed. Oh great, what set him off this time? "Hey, settle down over there," he said, hoping the kid wasn't planning on lashing out.
"Did the symbol look like a bell?" Gallagher asked, as he stopped pacing and walked over to the bars that divided the room in half. Jack got up from his chair and faced his clone, suddenly worried about him.
"Well yeah, I guess you could say it was shaped like a bell," Daniel mused, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a stone. "A warped bell is more like it. Why?" he said, excitement causing him to get up off his chair. "Have you seen it? Do you know what it means?"
"Yeah," Gallagher said, his hands tightly clenching the bars of the cell. "Where did they get it," he demanded with a snarl. Jack suddenly wished Teal'c was standing next to him to help him keep Gallagher from killing Daniel or himself. The guy certainly looked menacingly enough.
"I don't know," Daniel said quietly. "Patterson was showing me his treasure and I took it from him thinking it may be an archeological find. I can ask him if you want." Gallagher didn't respond, he just stood there clenching the bars as he stared out through them. "What does it mean?" Daniel asked.
"Nothing," Gallagher said, as he let go of the bars and stepped back. "Is that it?" he asked as he pointed at the rock Daniel was holding.
"Yes," Daniel responded, walking over to hand it to him. "It looks like an etching of some kind, but I don't recognize the symbol, although now that you mention it, it does look like a bell," he continued as he tilted his head to get a different view of the symbol.
Gallagher reached out and snatched the rock from Daniel's hand, then backed up even farther when he had the prize in his grasp. He stared at it for a moment before looking up with an angry expression on his face. "It's just a rock," he said, as he glared at Daniel.
He then looked directly at Jack, staring at him for a minute before saying, "You think I'm crazy don't you? I can see it in your face. You're thinking I should be locked up. You're wrong, you know. I just need to get out of this freaking cell." He was shouting by the time he'd finished and Jack could just tell that they were close to getting at the root of the problem.
"I don't think you're crazy," Jack responded patiently. "A little wound up maybe, but not crazy. Why don't you just sit down and try to calm down?" He started to walk over to his clone, but stopped short when Gallagher shouted at him.
"It could just as easily be you standing here," he yelled, his face gaining back some of the color it had lost when Daniel told him about the rock. "Don't think for a moment that you would never have given in."
"That thought never entered my mind," Jack snarled, losing his patience fast. "I've been there and done that, as you well know, so don't give me any of that crap."
"Jack…" Daniel said soothingly in an obvious attempt to smooth things over between the two men, but Gallagher had found another way to let off some steam.
"Oh sure," Gallagher growled, his face twisted in a sneer that caused Jack to take a step back. "You stand there with the stars they gave you for saving the world and what do I get for my efforts? Eight months on a lousy planet eating sand and forced to work as a slave to survive. You sat there behind a desk while I was left behind and forgotten!"
He stopped then; suddenly hearing his own words and realization dawned on his face as he stared at Jack. The door opened at that point and Teal'c walked in. The Jaffa seemed to take everything in with a glance, then walked over to stand by the cell door, conveniently putting himself between Jack and his clone.
"You were not forgotten," Jack said, trying to steer the kid toward safer territory. "We sent a team back there to look for you."
"Eight months later," Gallagher said, his voice quieting down, as he stared at Jack in horror. Jack was at a total loss in figuring out what was happening. He was losing control of the situation and he worried that Gallagher was going to give into his memories again.
"Gallagher," he snapped, "Don't you dare space out on me now. What's going through your mind?"
"Oh God," Gallagher said. He was retreating; Jack could see it plain as day and he decided that he was going to get to the bottom of this one way or the other. He just hoped he didn't screw up the other Jack O'Neill in the process.
"Gallagher?" he encouraged.
"That bitch betrayed me," Gallagher ground out, "Turned me over to them and I was… you have no idea what they did to me because of it." Jack was seriously concerned as he watched Gallagher struggle with whatever was going on in his mind. Gallagher's face was now the color of chalk and he seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating. Jack's heart stopped when Gallagher suddenly looked at him with abject horror on his face. "What happened to Taria?" Gallagher asked softly.
Okay, Jack was now past seriously concerned. He was downright scared. Gallagher had gone over the deep end, there was no doubt about it now and Jack didn't know if he would be able to bring his clone back to the world of sanity. "Don't you know?" he asked tentatively, stepping closer to the man who shared his worst memories and had come out of those situations with some semblance of sanity. What had happened to push him to this?
"What have I done?" Gallagher asked, as he dropped down to his knees. He stayed there, staring at the rock he had in his hand, while adrenalin raced through Jack's veins. He was terrified for his clone, and he didn't even have a clue as to why.
"I don't know," Jack said evenly, trying not to show his own fear. The man kneeling on the floor was Jack O'Neill and Jack remembered many times when he had felt like Gallagher did. God, why did he agree to try to help this guy? "Why don't you tell us?" he said, half hoping he wouldn't get an answer.
"I had to work in the fields that day," Gallagher responded listlessly, not having moved an inch. "Taria was sent out to work in the garden. We were not on the best of terms, but she always tried to make it up to me and I remember looking back at her to see her smiling at me." He stopped then, obviously lost in the memory. He looked away for a moment, then trained his sights on the floor. "That was the last time I saw her."
"What happened then?" Daniel asked as he came to sit on the floor next to Gallagher. Jack was suddenly glad Daniel was there with them. Daniel always knew what to say and was persistent enough, as well as possessing an understanding nature that was going to be a big help in dealing with this. At least Jack hoped so.
"SG-3 showed up and dragged me out of there," Gallagher said. He looked up at Jack and stared at him defensively. "I tried to go back for her, but they tied my hands behind my back and dragged me to the Gate. I tried to go back." Gallagher was back to staring at the floor again and Jack suddenly realized what was going on.
"Taria is still in Hulmeshur," Teal'c spoke up, voicing Jack's thoughts. No one responded to Teal'c's statement, they all knew what the problem was, but nobody wanted to be the one to say the words out loud.
"I got out of there," Gallagher said.
'I'm sure she's fine," Daniel said reassuringly. He put his hand on Gallagher's shoulder, but Gallagher didn't seem to realize anyone else was in the room with him.
"I escaped," he said again. "The guards used to taunt me with descriptions of what they would do to her if I escaped. I tried to go back for her, but Reynolds wouldn't let me." Jack was surprised to see that Gallagher's eyes were moist as he snarled out his hatred for SG-3. "They wouldn't let me and now she's dead."
"She could still be alive," Daniel insisted. "You don't know for sure that they would kill her."
"Torture and death," Gallagher replied. He was back to staring at the floor and Jack decided that he wanted out of there right that minute. He could feel the man's grief drifting through him and Jack knew from first hand experience what grief could do to him.
"I'll see what I can do to find out for sure," Jack said, wanting desperately to get away. He was being pulled in by Gallagher's depression and the Colorado skies would have been a welcome sight right about then. "Don't give up until you know for sure."
Gallagher looked up at him again, his emotions now firmly hidden as he snarled, "I left her behind to face torture and death."
"You mentioned that she betrayed you," Teal'c said, as he came over to sit down next to Gallagher and Daniel. "Would that not be reason enough to leave her there?"
Jack couldn't help but think that Teal'c was barking up the wrong tree, but he had to give the big guy credit for trying. Gallagher had been spouting off about his hatred for Taria ever since he had been forced to talk about her, why would he care what happened to her? Jack knew the answer to that question all too well, but he pushed his own fears aside as he went over to join the others on the floor. "Teal'c's got a point," he said, hoping to help Gallagher out any way he could.
Gallagher didn't answer and Jack sighed as he realized that it was too late. Gallagher had shut down – rolled up the carpet, locked the doors and pulled down the blinds. He had retreated into his misery and grief and Jack knew from experience that it was going to take a lot more than a determined General, a persistent Archeologist and a stoic Jaffa to get past the barriers of guilt Gallagher had erected to hide behind. That didn't mean that Jack was going to give up now. He was just going to have to find the right buttons to push in getting this guy to open up again and he already had a good idea of which buttons to start with.
"Just peachy," he said, as he gave Daniel and Teal'c a pained look. "Just when I get down on this floor, this guy clams up. One of you want to help me up?" he asked, as the other two stared at him in surprise. "No. Don't bother. I can do it," he said, when his friends made no move to help. "My knee's been acting up, but really, don't worry yourselves." He stood up just as Teal'c decided to act and he grinned at Teal'c before turning to Gallagher, "I'm going to go get cleaned up and have a talk with Landry and Mackenzie," he said, knowing Gallagher heard every word. "I'll be back in a little while." With that said, he indicated with his head for Daniel and Teal'c to walk with him to the door.
"Keep an eye on him," he advised quietly. "You can try to talk to him, but I wouldn't count on getting too far with him right now."
"We will," Daniel said with determination and Jack smiled as he put his hand on Daniel's shoulder.
"Just don't expect a whole lot out of him," Jack insisted. "Trust me on this, he's not going to be very cooperative."
"He'll be fine," Daniel replied loyally.
"Daniel…"
"We can't give up on him now. He just needs some time…"
"Daniel," Jack repeated, giving his friend a little shake to shut him up. "Do you remember how I behaved when we first met?"
Daniel started to say something, but then stopped and stared at Jack with understanding and sadness appearing in his eyes. He continued to stare while he processed his own memories. "Yeah," he finally said, looking away to watch the grief stricken, guilt ridden man who was still kneeling on the floor. "I remember."
"I've been where he's at right now," Jack said, remembering the anger, sadness and suicidal thoughts he'd experienced when his son had accidentally killed himself with Jack's gun. "He is not going to talk to you about this. I'll be back later and we'll deal with it then."
Daniel just nodded as he stared at Gallagher, while Teal'c bowed his head in acknowledgement. Jack knew he was leaving Gallagher in good hands, he just hoped his ideas would work. He really did like that kid.