OMG what can I say but OMG. It has been how long since I updated this? Too long, I got all caught up with other stories but now I am going back and working on all my old stories cause I want them all finished…. And I already got ideas for the next story in this series… I know what am I thinking. All I can say is I am SOOOOOOO sorry for leaving it this long. Thank you all for being patient and please keep reading and tell me what you think. This story is going off in a way different direction then I had originally planned .. so I don't completely remember… lol sue me….

So a friendly reminder, I do not own the Buffyverse, or the Potterverse, or the song title. If I did, I would be off somewhere with my money laughing evilly. Why? Cause I'm evil.

Please tell me what you think...please.. tell me yous till love me lol

Alexa stood staring up at the Great Hall. It was the same thing every morning, every lunch, every dinner. It had been the same for the past month but she couldn't enter. She wouldn't enter. She shouldn't enter.

Couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't. Same thing every day. She would spend the time in between meals, psyching herself out to go in there, to be strong and get past her fear. But each time she would stop in front of the stairwell and stare at the door. Mind you, some days she could get within 10 feet of the door, but that was it.

All meals were brought to her courtesy of Dobby, thanks to Harry's help. He had come to hr one night when she was in the library and asked why she hadn't been at any meals lately. She gave him the same excuse she gave everyone. She was playing catch up with her classes as she had missed from March until the end of the year and she didn't want to fall too far behind. Harry seemed to accept it and she either went to the library or stayed in her room but all of a sudden the little house elf began popping up at meal times with food for her and he would leave her coming back for the plate later. She briefly wondered how much Harry was aware of. Did he know and understand and not want to push it? Did Sirius tell him? She didn't know but she was thankful that he never pushed the issue and everyone else her sister included, bought the excuse of playing catch-up. But how long could she use it for? It had taken her 3 weeks to get at 6 year level. Why has it taken her a month to do 3 months of school work? She just hoped no one caught on anytime soon because she didn't want them to know. She didn't want to explain the real reason why she never set foot into the Great Hall. She had told Sirius and for now that was enough. She lived with what she did everyday and sometimes it bothered her more then other days. Sirius had told her it couldn't be helped, it was either his life or hers. Unfortunately it was both of them but she didn't see him walking around again. She had told herself many times he would've killed Draco and many others if she had done nothing but then other times she asked herself what right did she have in deciding who got to live and who didn't, what gave her that right? More then anything she didn't want the memories to come back, the dreams were bad enough. They kept her awake long after her sister had fallen asleep. She was often in the common room, often joined by Sirius who knew the pain she was. He may not have understood but he knew and he was the only person to know, and he held her while she cried. She only cried when he was there. Never in front of anyone else. She couldn't let anyone know. Wouldn't let anyone know. Shouldn't let anyone know.

It all rolled back to that couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't.

The door opened and out stepped a second year Hufflepuff who gave her a scared look before scurrying away. Oh yeah, her and her sister were getting weird looks from everyone. Who wouldn't really once you've died and come back. Kat thought it hilarious and would try and scare the younger students every chance she got. Alexa was a lot nicer but since everyone had such a hard time telling them apart, well who knew what one of them would do. So many students, the younger ones especially, took to running in the other direction whenever her and her sister came near. It didn't really help that after classes she was with Sirius a lot. That made everything worse. 3 dead people, one a former convict, walking around. She couldn't be hurt or upset by it really, when anyone thought about it was kinda creepy.

The door began to slowly close behind the student and she took another step forward. One small step towards her goal, but she froze right before the door firmly shut. She could see where it happened, she could see where she stood, where he was, where she fell, where Draco held her and that small step forward became one giant step backwards.

"Tomorrow." She whispered to herself, turning away.

"Lexiiiiii." Her sister yelled across the hall coming out of the Great Hall. "You finally coming to eat with us?"

She turned to face her sister and shook her head. "Nah just on my way to the library."

Kat rolled her eyes. "You spend way too much time there. I'm waaaaay behind and you don't see me in there all the time."

"Maybe you wouldn't be so far behind if you joined me." He sister teased.

Kat raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? Me step foot into a library? That would be like me asking you to-uhh- asking you to…."

"You can't think of anything can you?"

"Well stop being like me and we wouldn't have this problem."

"What do you want me to do? Build a time machine, go back in time, and make it so we're not twins?"

"You think they have time machine here?"

Alexa shook her head. "They have time turners but I don't think they'll go back that far."

"Time turners?"

"Yeah, Hermione told me she had one in third year, they're hard to come by and I think you can only go back a couple hours."

"This place will never cease to amaze me."

"Still surprising you, huh?"

Kat nodded. "Look Lex, skip the library come have dinner, everyone is asking about you and wondering why you haven't come to eat in here yet."

"I've been busy."

The older twin rolled her eyes. "Okay Ms. Smart one, you're in the library more then Hermione and I heard that was a bad thing. You should be done this year with the amount of time you've spent in there. What gives?"

"Nothing but I missed important info last year. And this being seventh year. Well it's an important year. I want to graduate high up."

"And you will without going to the library. Stop being such a book worm and come with me." She grabbed her sister's arms and pulled her towards the Great Hall but Alexa dug her feet in.

"Let me go Kat."

"Come on Lexi."

"I'm serious, let me go." She began to struggle and yanked her arm away, leaving Kat staring at her in confusion.

"What's the big deal?"

"Nothing." Alexa snapped. "I just don't want to go in there."

"Why?"

"Cause I'm busy."

"Look Alexa, I know you better then anyone. You're hiding something."

"No, I'm not."

"Then prove it go in there."

The twins looked at each other neither willing to back down.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

Alexa looked away first and sent him a big smile. "Nothing, I was just on my way to the library."

"Again." Kat said with disgust.

"What do you care, Kit Kat?"

"You're my sister, of course I care but I think you're hiding something."

"And if she is obviously she doesn't want to talk about it." Harry pointed out.

Kat fixed him with an icy glare. "And I doubt this really concerns you."

"Kat." Alexa said. "What's your problem? Harry's only trying to help."

"This isn't between me you and Harry. It's between me and you. Got it Harry?"

"Stop it." Alexa said stepping in front of Harry. "You have no right talking to him this way."

"Why are you defending him? Are you choosing him over me?"

"Kat, calm down. What's wrong with you?"

The elder twin took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, kay? I'm just a little upset. Forgive me?"

Alexa nodded. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Kat muttered. "Just go to the library. I'm going out."

She stomped away from them.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

Alexa shook her head. "I don't know. Kat's just... she's not herself. Ever since we came back she's been super moody. I don't get it."

"Did you ever find out what house she is in?"

"No. She won't tell me and she gets angry whenever I ask her so I decided not to push it."

"Were you trying to go in there?" Harry pointed to the Great Hall.

"No." She replied, blushing. "I was on my way to the library."

"It's not in this direction."

"I well, umm..."

He grinned at her pushing his messy black hair away from his face. "Forget about it. I'm just bugging you. If you need anything, let me know."

"Thank you." She replied, returning his grin.

As he moved past her she threw his arms around him. "You're a good friend."

"Thanks Lexi. I missed you when you were gone."

"I know silly, you keep telling me." She kissed him on the cheek. "I'll talk to you later okay?

He nodded and watched her walk away.

Alexa sighed in relief. If Harry hadn't of shown up. It probably would've ended in a full blown fight between her and her sister and would've ended with her sister picking her up and trying to carry her in there. She wasn't in the mood for a fight. Psyching herself out everyday to walk in there was tiring her out. She didn't know how much longer she could do this.

Alexa was listlessly sitting on the couch in their common room making a small rubber ball float around the air with her wand. It was only a couple hours since the whole "library" thing and to be quite honest she was sick and tired of the library.

Something dropped in her lap, startling her out of her reverie and causing the ball, that was now above her head to fall down on her head. Her sister let out a loud laugh.

"What's this?" Alexa asked, ignoring Kat's laughter.

"What do you mean what's this? It's a broom dumbass. In fact, it's the brooms we bought but never actually have used yet. I want to learn how to play quidditch."

"Are you trying out for your house team?"

Kat made a face. "No, I don't have a house, so I don't have a team I can play for."

"Everyone is sorted, and I know you were. So why not just say what house your in."

"Cause I thin this whole house thing is dumb. It's like purposely pitting people against one another."

"Says the girl who lived for teams sports." Alexa replied with a snort.

Kat fixed her with an icy glare. "You wanna go, Blondie, cause I can take you."

Another snort. "Of course you can, hot stuff."

Still a month and they had yet to take the other down. They could take anyone else down no problem, just not each other.

"So are you coming?" Kat asked.

"Don't you wanna get Harry, or Draco and have one of them teach us? We don't know how to ride brooms."

"We don't need them, we can learn on our own."

"Do you not like t hem Kit Kat?"

Kat pulled her sister up and fixed her with a curious look. "What do you mean? We get along just fine."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I think they're awesome, who wouldn't?"

Alexa nodded but she wasn't convinced. When she thought about it, she never really saw Kat and Draco interacting. They talked when she was there but were barely civil.

"Come on Lexi. We got some flying to do."

"Kat." She replied nervously. "I think we should get someone. We're gonna hurt ourselves."

"Stop worrying. You're always such a worrier. We'll be fine, I'll protect you."

"And who's gonna protect you." The younger twin muttered, staring daggers at her sister, but she followed her nonetheless across the castle and to the grounds outside.

Once out there, Kat put their brooms down and stared at them before looking at her sister.

"What the hell do we do now?"

Alexa shrugged, "This was your idea, and can I say not a very good one at that."

Kat sent her a dirty look and picked up the broom, sitting on top of it. "Okay thing start flying."

There was nothing.

"Maybe if you kick up?" Alexa suggested.

Kat did and when that didn't work continued jumping up sending Alexa to the ground in hysterics.

"What's so funny?" Kat asked with a scowl.

"If you could see yourself, you'd understand." She gasped in between laughter. "Maybe we should get someone."

"No we'll do it ourselves."

"Kat." She whined.

"Maybe this will work if you tried something too."

"Fine." Alexa sighed standing over her broom. "Come on broom. Up and at em, we gotta fly."

AS she held her hand out to pick it up, the broom flew up into her hands.

"How the hell did you do that?" Her sister asked.

Alexa shrugged, "Well I didn't call it stupid to begin with."

"Ha ha, funny." She replied dropping the broom and holding her hand above it. "What did you say?"

"Uhh…. up and at em?"

"You said up and at em and the broom listened to that?" Kat asked in disbelief but sure enough the broom jumped into her hand as well.

"Okay, well cool. So now we fly."

Kat mounted the broom again and kicked off, and this time she went a few feet into the air.

"You gotta try this," she yelled at her sister urging her broom higher.

"Rather not." Alexa yelled out.

Kat turned the broom and swooped down to Alexa. "Fine you big baby. Why don't we do this, hop on the back and we'll ride together."

"Will it hold us?" She nervously asked.

"No cause we're both a couple of heifers. Now quit worrying and get on."

Sighing, Alexa, got on behind her sister. "You kill me, I'm coming back to kick your ass."

"I know because you can actually do that now, I'll be careful."

Kat kicked off and Alexa let out a squeal, throwing her arms around her sister. "Slow down." She yelled.

"What?" Kat yelled back. "Go faster?"

She leaned forward, making the broom go faster and Alexa shut her eyes tight in fear. She hated heights, she hated flying, she just wanted to get off.

"Let me off Kat."

"Stop being a baby."

Alexa opened her eyes to yell at her sister, which turned out to be a big mistake. She looked down and gasped.

"Kat please, I really need to get off."

"You're fine" her sister called back going higher and faster.

Alexa began to grow dizzy and urged her sister one last time but her sister shrugged it off.

Alexa tried her hardest to not give into the dizziness bus he couldn't see straight. She began to breathe rapidly. Kat continued to go faster, laughing the whole time and Alexa felt herself slipping.

"Kat." She whispered before completely sliding off the broom and hurling to the ground below.

PLease review.. and just so you know it'll take me a bit to get my groove back with this.