A/N : Thanx muchly to; Ember91, spuffy-monica, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, King Henry the V (thanks, I knew all that, and if I amde errors like those then... oops!), and Spuffy2008. What happened to the rest of you readers? Didn't like the chapter enough to let me know? Oh well, doesn't matter. I love to write this story, and would continue even if nobody reviewed. Still, it is always nice to read your comments if you have time to leave one. Now for the chapter - let the Xander/Illyria-ness begin!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 17

As much as Illyria appreciated Spike's suggestion of leaving herself and Xander alone, she was now at a loss as to know what to do. He sat in the armchair whilst she was in the middle of the couch. Illyria could not remember ever feeling so uncomfortable in her own skin, not even when her power had become too great for it's shell, not even when the Powers had made her a transparent spirit.

She had adjusted well to being a human being, albeit a superhero version. The blue streaks in her hair were as fake as the blondness of Spike's these days but she took the time to keep the marks that she felt made her herself. Her clothes were much more a woman than god, though mostly denim and leather due to Spike's influence. Though so many outside forces seemed to have made her what she was, Illyria was comfortable enough with herself, until now. She was so very aware of her looks and movement and so nervous about speaking in case she said something she shouldn't and offended the man across the room from her.

"So, er, how's the leg feeling?" he asked, startling her from her daze. His concern made her smile slightly, though she knew it was ridiculous, he was probably just making conversation.

"It heals" she told him, "I possess such power to heal my body at speed, much like Spike and your friend the Slayer"

"Handy thing to have" Xander nodded, "I'm almost jealous" he admitted, subconsciously adjusting his eye-patch.

"You have suffered in battle" she said with a tilt of her head, "You have suffered to save others, knowing that you would not heal so fast, or even at all" though she was making statement rather than asking questions he felt he needed to agree with her.

"Yeah, I fight because somebody has to" he shrugged.

"The Slayer was chosen for her task, as they all were" Illyria pointed out, "The Powers decreed that Spike and I should do there bidding. You were not ordered to help and yet you do" she smiled, "I admire that"

"Thanks" Xander smiled back, glancing away when her intense gaze became a little too much to bear, "but the way I hear it, you did the same. I mean, you fought with Angel's gang before the Powers told you that you had to, right?"

"I did" she agreed, "but I did not seek to fight for the sake of good alone" she said, looking away, "In the end I fought for vengeance, to make others pay for my fallen ally"

"Vengeance, huh? I know a little something about that" Xander said more to himself than to her, "You and Wes had kind of a connection?" he said, moving to join her on the couch as she looked down at her hands that fidgeted at her knees. This creature, this woman, she was so different. In this moment it was hard to believe she was the same person to have fought the demon that had threatened her. She seemed so small and a little lost.

"Wesley was my guide" she said more softly than she meant to, "I had affection for him of some kind I believe, perhaps you would say we were friends but... do not assume I was in love" she snapped, realising how vulnerable she must look to him right now, "I... I did not believe I had the capacity for that, not before"

"Before what?" Xander frowned, not understanding.

Illyria could not understand why her heart beat so fast in her chest or why her palms were sweating so much as he spoke softly to her. If this was love or similar she found it to be most unsettling and not a wondrous emotion like she had hoped. Though she wanted to answer him, to 'make a move' as Spike would say, she was almost relieved when the kids began to stir, one of them screaming loudly from the bedroom.

"Want me to go?" Xander offered as Illyria got to her feet.

"It cannot be so difficult to make them stop" she said with a shake of her head as she disappeared into the bedroom. It was Chloe that was crying, Ellie though awake was quiet so far.

"How is it one so small can make such noise?" Illyria asked no-one in particular as she lifted Chloe from her crib and tried to remember how children of such a size should be held, "Come now, it is dark outside, time for your eyes to be closed and silence to reign" she said, bouncing the baby a little and rubbing her back as her tears and yells calmed down to gentle sobs.

"You have no need for tears, little one" Illyria continued, unaware she was being watched from the door, "It amazes me, the amount of salt water spilt by the species I have been made a part of. I do not make a habit of showing such emotion... perhaps this is my downfall" she said, speaking more freely to the children that didn't understand at all than she could've to any grown-up.

"I did not know I was capable of such deep feelings and yet I feel them. I wish to know love, and believe now I may have the capacity to experience it. Though I have affection for Spike, I know what I feel is not the same as those feelings he and Buffy Summers have for each other. Feelings of attraction and longing to be close..." she closed her eyes and pushed back ridiculous tears that she'd been complaining about just moments before. She put the now quiet Chloe back into her crib and looked down at the two little girls as they went back to sleep.

"Yet he will not notice me, will never want me as I feel I want him" she continued in the darkness, "He is a better human being than I can ever be, he fights not because he was chosen but because he cares enough to do so. An old god made flesh would be of no interest to such a man..." her voice trailed away and she realised the two children now slept soundly once again.

Illyria backed towards the door, turning as she came through it and finding she was face to face with Xander, barely two inches between their bodies.

"Hey" he said, not knowing where else to begin, "I was, er, just checking that everything was okay, with you, and the kids obviously"

"They are sleeping once again" she breathed, finding words didn't come easily all of a sudden, "but I... I struggle to convey what I am feeling" she said frustratedley, part of her wishing she could make her body move and run for the exit, the other loving being this close to Xander and aching to be closer still.

"What you feel..." he said trying to read her expression, "What you said to the kids... that wasn't about anybody in particular, like say, I dunno, a friend of the Slayer with an eye patch, maybe?" he asked, with a light laugh.

He could always say he was joking if she laughed now or told him he was an idiot for suggesting such a thing. He wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing when she remained silent.

"Illyria?" he prompted and suddenly she seemed to snap out of her daze.

"Am I unattractive?" she asked him earnestly, "I have no way to know how to act, what to think... Perhaps you do not even like me at all in which case I waste my time dallying here" she shook her head as she looked away a pained expression on her face.

"Hey" Xander put a hand to her cheek and made her look at him again, "You are not unattractive" he said firmly, "I just... I guess I'm kind of thrown that you might think I'm worthy of noticing or whatever"

"Spike has taught me all human beings have worth" she told him, swallowing hard, the feel of his fingers on her cheek making her shiver, "but some unknown force makes me feel your worth is far greater to me than that of others"

Xander wasn't sure what to say to that. He wasn't exactly used to gorgeous women being so complimentary about him. Cordelia had always been insulting, even when she was kissing him. Anya, well she was blunt and direct about what she felt and what she wanted, he'd loved her so much but the girl wasn't exactly big with the romantic words, more with the action. Now here was Illyria, some kind of mighty warrior, suddenly reduced to a scared deer in the headlamps of a Mack truck, and somehow he made her feel this way? Xander couldn't take that concept in.

"I think I would like you to kiss me now" she told him suddenly, and in a moment of the strangest clarity, he did just that.

"Rise and shine, you ugly bastard!" Spike yelled, kicking the unmoving demon in the ribs as he did so, "What's up with the stupid bugger?" he asked, turning back to look at Giles who was turning pages of a spell book.

"It is held by a binding spell" he explained, "It is probably best that we keep it in this state"

"Can it talk?" Buffy checked, "I mean are we gonna be able to channel anything from it word-wise if it's all unconscious?"

"Er, s'not unconscious, luv" Spike pointed out as he rolled the beast over. It's eyes were open and shooting evil glances at all, the stone in it's head glowed brightly and it's lips twisted in an attempt to form words

"The spell stops it from moving" Andrew told them, "Makes the body feel like it's made out of lead, but it's not knocked out or anything. I don't know how to do that"

"That's okay" Buffy nodded, "So long as it doesn't move, we're okay"

"So then" Giles said, passing Dawn the book, "Shall we begin"

The younger Summers stepped up by the demon and took a deep breath before she began to read.

"Konus bizimle viza adam" she chanted "Konus bizimle guzle re olya ma adam. Speak to us" as she spoke the final words she got in the demon's line of sight, the idea being that if she was the person it saw as she spoke the words of the spell, she would become the vessel through which it would speak.

The rest of the group waited for some kind of sound to come from either the demon or Dawn, but none did.

"Did it work?" Spike whispered to Giles, "'M not hearing much"
"Wait a moment..." the Watcher told him as he stepped forward and glanced between the demon and the Slayer's sister.

"Can you speak to us?" he asked.

"I can, but I will not" said Dawn in a much deeper voice than she possessed. She made a startled sound as her hand went to her throat, "To betray my Master would mean loss of my life, and my honour"

Buffy strode over there with her axe in hand and held it aloft over the demon's still form.

"You don't think not talking would mean loss of your worthless life too!" she yelled, taking aim with the blade.

"You do not know what you do" it said through Dawn, "The forces you are playing with"

"Got the biggest forces there are on our side, mate" Spike told it, "Brought back by the Powers That Be I was, and those kids you tried stealing are bloody miracles"

"This I know" the demon answered, "This my Master knows. The blood of the innocent miracles possesses great power"

"This Master of yours" Giles asked what no-one else dared, "Does he have a name?"

"This I shall not betray" the demon swore, until a sword was pressed against it's throat.

"We'll ask again then, shall we?" Spike sneered, "The name of your Master, what is it?"

There was a long pause and everyone's eyes were on Dawn as the demon's answer began to spill from her own lips.

"My Master has the name of..."

An almighty crash blew the doors from the building and threw the four Scoobies to the ground with force enough to break the spell over the demon and Dawn. The four figures on the ground fought to see through the bright light to who or what was there. When the glow dissipated, they got the shock of their lives.

This was different, better, amazing, Illyria simply didn't have words to describe as Xander's arms wound round her body and he continued to kiss her. When she had tried this with Spike, it was not unpleasant but she felt very little at all. Somehow this experience was having a very strange affect on her body. Every inch of her skin tingled like electric currents were running beneath the surface, the heat in her blood rose, and she swore if Xander were not holding her up she'd have lost the ability to stay on her feet. The loss of control, far from unpleasant was incredible to her, a minor miracle considering how usually she liked to be in charge of all situations.

When Xander's lips left hers Illyria was gasping for air, but smiling like an idiot.

"That was... not unpleasant to me" she admitted, in no hurry to have him let go of her yet, "What is your opinion?" she asked him.

"Yeah" Xander nodded, amused by her manner, head still spinning from the experience of kissing her for so long, "That's in no way of the bad"

"I..." Illyria began to speak again but stopped abruptly as something in her head felt odd, and not in the way of the pleasant sensations she'd been experiencing a moment ago, "Something is wrong" she said suddenly, her body convulsing as her hands went to her head. Xander lost his grip on her as she reeled back against the wall and slid to her knees, clearly in pain.

"Illyria?" he said, kneeling by her side, trying to find out what was wrong as she closed her eyes and writhed in agony for a few more moments.

"It has passed" she said when she was finally still, touched by the concern she saw when she looked up into Xander's eyes, "It was merely a vision" she told him.

"Wow" was all he could say to that, "And here was me thinking I was just a little too good at the kissage"

Illyria smiled feintly at that as she attempted to get to her feet and he helped her to do so.

"We must go, or at least I must" she told him, still a little unsteady on her feet.

"What did you see?" Xander asked as she steadied herself and headed for the door.

"Something is attacking, where the demon is held" she explained, picking up the axe Xander had by the door in case of emergency, "I shall go and fight, but you must stay. The children must be protected"

"I... okay" he nodded, "but, you be careful, okay?" he said, looking worried about her condition still. Though she wouldn't admit it, Illyria hardly felt battle worthy right now but it was her job to do it, she needed to help.

"You too must be careful" she nodded as she opened the door, turning back just once before she left the apartment.

"And it was not just the vision that affected my balance" she admitted with a smile, "You are very good at kissing"

To Be Continued...