Chapter 11

A/N: I don't own the song in the chappie…. u can thank Finch 4 it… rock on Finch! \/

I was sitting on the balcony over looking the lake. I was thinking deeply.

A month or so had passed since that detention. Granger and I have not spoken much. We went on with our lives. She had hung out with her friends and I had hung out with mine.

I wasn't happy though. I couldn't stop thinking bout her. My mind wouldn't let her go… my eyes beckoned to see her face… my body craved her… screamed for her. I found myself on the brink of insomnia. I could no longer sleep with out dreaming about her. I was now having inane fantasies about me and her that neither could nor would ever happen. It drove me insane.

I threw my glass of fire whiskey angrily over the balcony hearing the resounding splash in the calm water not far below the balcony. I kicked the chair closest to me.

I can't be like this… I'm obsessed… and it's not like I never see her. I see her everyday! It was the fact that I couldn't have her. I couldn't touch her. She couldn't be mine.

I placed my hands on the balcony rail and relaxed, giving me a towering look. My shoulders were arched over my head which hung low.

I think the most frustrating thing of it all was of who I appeared in my eyes to act like. It troubled me most.

The way I was acting now…reminded me of my father. I sighed when realizing this. My father was one of the largest womanizers I have ever seen. He would obsess over woman after woman. If they did not go willingly he would pay them, offer them a certain something or… force them… as he did Granger. He somehow pulled Jaden into doing it too.

I looked up and watched the bats fly over the tree tops of the forbidden forest. I was lost in thought for a bit thinking of Granger, my father, and Jaden.

All of a sudden, I felt uneasy and no longer alone. I glanced around. I saw nothing… it's probably just my nerves because I was thinking about my-

"Why are you looking around, Draco?"

… Father…

I whipped around and saw my father standing in the doorway of the balcony. I swallowed hard and stared at him.

He walked towards me slowly.

"You're a disgrace Draco… falling in love with a Mudblood… They're good for nothing but sex…"

I felt his hand clothed in a leather glove wrap around my throat but I didn't even bother to fight it off. I stared into his eyes and saw a certain spark. A spark that I've seen before… his "death spark" I called it.

Maybe if I died… I wouldn't have to worry about Lucius or Granger or Jaden. I could forget about it all and welcome death. I bit my lip as I felt myself being pushed back over the balcony rail. I looked into my father's eyes for the last time. There was no sorrow, no remorse for what he was about to commit.

I closed my eyes as I felt my body slip over the rail of balcony and glide thro the air quickly. I held my breath and closed my eyes tight waiting to feel the ground. I was falling nine or ten stories. I tensed my body preparing to hit the ground. I felt dizzy and lightheaded almost as if I were going to black out… oddly enough… I did. At least, now, I won't feel any pain when I hit the ground…

My eyes fluttered open and I saw one of the most beautiful women that I have ever laid my eyes on hovering over me. She was gorgeous with her curly blonde-brown locks capturing her face and her chocolate eyes looking deeply into mine.

"Am I in heaven," I asked staring at her blatantly, " 'Coz you look like an angel…"

The woman tilted her head to her right and said in an aggravated tone, "No Malfoy… You're in the hospital wing."
"The hospital wing… but I died…," I said dumbfounded.
"No you almost died… I saw you falling and stopped you right before you hit the ground…"

I stared at her confused, "But… I died…Who are you? Are you sure you're not an angel?"

The angel rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair.

"Shut up Malfoy… you know very well who this is…"

She said I knew who it was… why didn't I then? The voice sounded familiar and she looked like some I knew too… but I didn't have the slightest idea of her identity…

"It's Mudblood Granger you bastard…," she said in a harsh whisper.

"Oh," I said simply. I had an extreme head ache and felt a little dizzy.

"Yeah, sorry to put your hopes down."

I opened my mouth to retort against her statement but was in no mood to argue with her.

"What happened?"

I didn't remember much. I know my father was with me… we were on the balcony… His hand was around my throat… after that my mind went blank.

"You're father pushed you over the balcony ledge," Granger said nonchalantly.

I nodded staring down at my feet… Figures, I thought, no surprise there…

I heard Granger's name being called by none other than Potty and Weasel.

"Well," she said standing up, "I best be off… er… see you soon."

I watched as her back retreated out of the Infirmary. I sighed to myself

She should have just let me die, I thought.

A week or so passed before I could leave the Infirmary. Madame Pompfrey had been trying to rid me of that terrible headache I had.

The word of my fall off the head dorm's balcony had of course been spread fast. I had been telling everyone who had asked that I had slipped and fallen over the balcony ledge. Luckily, Madame Pompfrey had gotten rid of the bruises on my neck from where my father had grabbed me.

The night after my release from the infirmary I was sitting in the common room with Ganger both of us reading quietly. The only sounds to be heard were the turning of pages or the soft hooting of the passing owls by the open window.

The insane dreams of her had kept plaguing me and my fantasies had grown more. I was now having the thoughts every moment I was not concentrating on something. It was becoming unbearable… She would never have me though… I had rejected her, which was stupid, because now I needed her…

I had the sudden urge to talk to her.

"So Hermione, are you enjoying what you're reading?"

She looked up at me and nodded, "Yeah it pretty good."

"What is it?" I got up and walked over to her. I stood beside her looking over her shoulder at the book in her hand. She glanced up at me. I looked back. I felt my hand slide down to her breast.Her eyes widened at my touch and she reached up to move my hand away but I grabbed it and held it back. She started to stand letting her book fall to the ground. I grabbed her other hand as she raised it to me and forced her down onto the ground in front of the fireplace.

I saw the panic in her eyes and felt the tensing in her body. I couldn't stop myself… it was like someone was demanding me to do these things. It was like I was watching myself out side of my body.

She stared at me with fearful eyes as I straddled her waist and held her arms down. I kissed down her neck softly. I felt her resist… I wanted to resist myself but no matter how hard I tried to stop myself I just couldn't. I pulled a piece of rope out of my pocket and tied her hands around the table leg knowing that no matter how hard she tried she could not get loose.

I looked into her eyes yelling at myself to stop. No words came out of my mouth. I slowly kissed down her neck nibbling a little every once in a while. My hands slipped up her shirt and cupped her breasts. I heard her whimper but it was not a whimper of pleasure. She jerked her body away from me. I glared at her for a second and kneed her in her side. She grunted in pain.

I ripped off her shirt as she fought against me in vain. I bit, licked and kissed every open area of her body I could reach.

Her knee connected with my crotch which sent a jolt of pain through my body. I slapped her across the face in retaliation. I saw trickle of blood go from the corner of her mouth down her jaw line.

"This will hurt you… and I will too," I bent down and whispered harshly in her ear.

I woke up the next day in my bed completely naked and covered in cum and a little blood. I stared down at myself confused.

"What happened last night," I asked myself. I remembered reading my book in the common room with Granger then standing up...after that I remember crawling into bed… I couldn't understand it…

I got out of bed and cleaned myself up for classes that day. I met up with Blaise in the Hall to eat breakfast. As soon as I entered the Hall I couldn't help but feel someone's eyes boring into my skull. As I sat I looked around to see who it was.

I met the fiery, hate-filled glower of Granger. I swallowed hard not able to take my eyes away from hers. She slowly looked back to her friends. I too turned around… yet again… fearing for my life…

"Meier may we be this way forever
And tell me, Lover, what will become of the others?"

Bones, skin, nails, and the flesh

On a bed of "lack of passion"

A medieval consequence

They worry you with all the talk of how

You're not their kind

Now I'm stealing her body and taking it home

There is always one more fall

Maladjusted you must trust me, Darling

Subsequently you see you deserve more than me

They bury you while wearing garments

Of funeral fire

Now I'm stealing her body and taking it home

There is always one more fall

This will hurt you…
It's killing me…
(This is the salt in my side, this is the thorn in my eye)

This will hurt you…
It's killing me…
(This is the salt in my side, this is the thorn in my eye)

This will hurt you…
And I will too…

Bloodlust! Bloodlust!- for this girl
Bloodloss! Bloodloss!- for this boy

Bloodlust! Bloodlust!- for this girl
Bloodloss! Bloodloss!- for this boy…

This is forever…