Rory stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of Luke and Lorelai's house. The house that she had been staying in every summer and holiday vacation since her junior year of college. The house that they'd found together, and decided to live in as a family. But Rory couldn't stay there, and she knew that. As much as she wanted to, as much as she wanted her mother and Luke, and the familiar surroundings of Stars Hollow, she knew she couldn't. She simply couldn't take the looks of pity she got from most of the residents.

Slowly, holding her breath, and terrified of what she would see, Rory lifted her shirt and peered at her stomach. The baby had made her sick every single day for the past two months, and the sickness was showing no signs of letting up. But, despite all that, she had managed to gain five pounds. She knew that most was in her boobs, but there was a slight protrusion to her abdomen. She found herself strangely upset by that.

Of course, she'd known it would happen. It had to happen. Babies inevitably made you get heavier and rounder, and moodier. But somehow, she'd hoped it would take a lot longer. Because seeing a physical manifestation of the child growing inside her made her think about Logan.

And thinking about Logan wasn't a good thing. Thinking about what he'd done to her, and all those things he'd said while he had been raping her, and everything that she had gone through because of what he had done just made her tear up.

She had found out about her pregnancy early enough that she could have safely gotten an abortion, but for some reason, the moment she'd found out, she'd known that the baby was hers and that she loved it, no matter where it had come from. That it wasn't Logan's baby, it was hers. And that she couldn't have gotten rid of it or given it up had her life depended on it.

But she was twenty two, alone, single and about to become a mother. She had a college diploma still hot off the press, a job waiting in a city where she knew no one, and no way to change her situation. She felt desperate, and again, like the world around her was caving in. And if that wasn't enough, her past had just shown up.

She hadn't gotten a moment to herself in days. Even then, she had escaped to the bathroom, hadn't been in there more than ninety seconds, and already someone was pounding on the door. She yanked her shirt down and bolted from the bathroom. She didn't stop until she was out the front door and well into the woods. She slowed then, but didn't stop walking until she was on the bridge.

Four years after she and Jess had broken up, and it was still the one place that she could honestly think and feel completely at ease. It had been their place, where many of their relationship milestones had taken place. After he'd left, it had become her place, where she went to be alone and think when things got to be too much to handle. Lorelai and Luke were the only two people who knew that she still went there. So, when she heard footsteps behind her, she assumed it was her mother.

"I'm all right, Mom. I'll come back in a few minutes. I just needed a little time by myself."

Jess dropped onto the bridge with her. "I'm not, Lorelai, and I think I'll join you for a bit. Too many little people running around that house."

"What are you doing here, Jess?"

"I drove Lorelai home. She was so busy glaring at me she didn't hear that Luke was leaving and needed a ride. We pulled up just in time to see your little flight, and I thought I'd come see if I could do anything to help."

Rory laid her head in her hands. "Things are so screwed up right now. You want to stay as far away from me as you possibly can. Take my word on that."

Soothingly, Jess rubbed her back. "Your mom told me about Logan." He paused, watched her head slowly come up. "I know about the baby, Rory."

Rory's eyes teared up. She tried valiantly to hold them back, but found that it was impossible. "How did things get so messed up, Jess? Things were perfect. And he just had to get drunk. God, it was so terrible. And now here I am, pregnant and alone. I never thought I'd be the statistic." She let him draw her close, leaned her head on his shoulder. "Why didn't I just go with you? If I'd gone, things would be okay. I wouldn't be here, right now, with my life falling to pieces."

Her words and tears shredded his heart into a million pieces. "Because it wasn't right then. I had to grow up, Ror. I had to find myself and be someone without Rory there. I had to do it on my own for once, and succeed. We'd both hate me if you'd gone with me that night. I loved you before I knew what love was. And that was the problem." He lifted her chin, pressed his lips to her forehead. She wound her arms around his neck and hugged him close, needing the physical contact. "It's cliched, Rory, but I think I'll love you until I die."

Rory sniffled. "How can you love me when I'm pregnant with another man's child, Jess? When I told you no, and Dean and Logan yes? I've screwed up my life more than you could have ever screwed yours up. I have a record, Jess. Logan got me arrested. I dropped out of Yale and moved in with my grandparents. I didn't speak to my mother, and didn't talk to Luke or anyone from town and I had to do hundreds of hours of community service. Oh God Jess, it's so messed up!"

Jess held her and rocked, murmuring words of comfort to her. It tore him up to see her as she was. "It'll be all right, Rory. I promise." He kissed her ear, wasn't oblivious to the shiver that went down her spine. "I'm here, and I love you."

"Do you have any idea how long I waited to hear you say that? You were the first one I said it to." She whispered, holding on to him with all her strength. "And now that the time is right, the situations are terribly wrong. You live in California, and I'm pregnant."

"I don't live in California. I have an apartment in New York. I'm starting work at a record company there managing a couple of bands. I believe Lane is on my list, actually."

He was trying to lighten things up, but it wasn't working. She continued to cry into his shoulder. "I'm still pregnant, though, Jess. That isn't going to change. And when it does, I'll have a baby. There's nothing to be done about that."

Jess pushed her back a few inches, grinned at her. "Hey, you think I'm shallow enough to care that a woman has a kid? Give me some credit here."

"Jess, don't do this, please."

"I can't help it, Rory. I love you, and it doesn't matter to me what your situation is or how screwed up your life seems to be. You need help, and I can help you. I want to help you. Let me help you. Please?"

Rory laid her head on his chest, could feel his heart beating beneath her ear. "I still love you, y'know. I don't think I ever stopped loving you. I don't think I can."

"What's that mean, Rory?"

"It means that if you're sure, then all right. But I want you to be sure, Jess. Absolutely sure. I have a ton of baggage, and a baby on the way. That a good relationship does not make."

"I'm sure, Rory. I want to be a part of your life. I want to help you through this. I don't want to have to think about you every second of every day of the rest of my life wondering what you're doing or who you're with. I want to be the one you're with and know what you're doing and just be wondering when I get to see you next instead of if I'll ever see you again."

Rory was crying again as he spoke, but they weren't hurt tears or desperate tears. She lifted her head and pressed her mouth to his in an urgent kiss. "Thank you. God, I need you Jess."

He knew she didn't mean in the physical sense, which is where his mind automatically jumped for one heart racing moment. "I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."
She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "I missed you. After you left that night at my dorm, I missed you, and I worried that I should have gone with you. That I'd just passed up my last chance at anything with you because when you were ready, I was with someone else who I cared a great deal about."

"I know." Jess spoke softly, and she nearly didn't hear him. "It's okay, Rory." He chuckled then, and his breath was warm on her neck as his chest rumbled against hers. It was a good experience. One that told her not everything was terrible. This, this was good. "How much trouble am I going to get in if I ask if I can kiss you now?"

Despite herself, Rory felt her face smile. She lifted her head to look at him. "I don't know how you could want to kiss me right now. My face is swollen and blotchy, my eyes are red, and I've gotten your shirt wet."

He cupped her face in his hands. "I can honestly say, Rory, that there hasn't been a moment since I met you all those years ago, that I haven't really wanted to kiss you."

And having said that, and without waiting for her reply, he kissed her. Slowly, softly, gently. Nothing forceful or rough. There was passion, but it wasn't raw and devouring them like it had during their teenage years. The kiss was more to comfort her. And it had that effect. She relaxed, leaned into him, gave herself over to the kiss.

His mouth played over hers skillfully, his tongue brushed hers, urging her to return the kiss. Hesitantly, she kissed him back, and that was when it changed from something comforting and gentle, to a maelstrom of emotions that swept them both away and that both were helpless to resist.

This was the way it was supposed to be. That was the one thought that Rory could latch onto as he kissed her. The emotions in her were rearing up and devouring her, and she couldn't do anything about it. It felt right. It felt like home. And at that moment, when everything else was so wrong, she had to latch onto what was right in her world. And the only thing that was right, was her past. And her past was him.

She pulled away slowly, laying her forehead against his so that they could still see one another. "My God, Jess, why do you want anything to do with someone as screwed up as I am? How can you look at me, and know that I'm carrying Logan's baby and not hate me after how badly I hurt you?"

Jess met her gaze, and his eyes told her that he was telling the truth. "We hurt each other, Rory. I left you and treated you badly, and all the other things that I did. All you did was tell me no, and after what I had done, I deserved it. Even if I hadn't deserved it, it was your right to say yes or no. Maybe the circumstances aren't great. But come on, when have our circumstances ever been ideal? And it isn't Logan's baby. That baby is completely yours. And it's a part of you. How could I not love something that's part of them woman that I am head over heels in love with?"

Rory felt tears threaten again and she laid her mouth over his and kissed him. His arms came around her, drawing her into his lap, as much to simply hold her as to get more physical contact as they kissed. The kiss wasn't about passion, though there was plenty of that lurking right beneath the surface, it was about comfort, and forgiving each other and themselves.

She kissed him deeply, their tongues tangling slowly. Her hands wove their way into his hair, gripping the silky black strands. She was giving into the passion and he was holding them back. He didn't object when she pressed her body to his, in fact, he would have been very happy to remove the barriers of clothing between them and get her even closer, but neither did he pull her closer. He didn't want the distance between them, but it was too soon to be much closer than they already were.

Slowly, he pulled back from her and kissed her forehead. "We should get back. Everyone will be getting worried soon." He glanced down at the creek, laughed as he saw both of her flip flops floating upstream. "Uh, Rory?"

She looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Didn't you notice that you lost your shoes?"

Her gaze flew to her feet, both of which were bare. "No! Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I just noticed. Come on, we'll take it slow."

Rory let Jess pull her to her feet. She took three steps, hit the gravel and stopped. "Ow." She took another babystep. "Ouch. Jess-"

She was cut off when he bent and scooped her into his arms. "There. This is quicker and less painful for the both of us." She chuckled as he carried her across the gravel to the road. "You're a big baby. Didn't you ever run around barefoot as a kid?"

Rory shook her head. "No. Mom told me if I went outside barefoot that I'd get eaten alive by the purple people eater."

Jess gaped at her for a second, then shook his head. "That's Lorelai for you." He grinned down at her. "You used to be easier to pack around."

Chagrined, she smacked his arm. "Jess!"

"I'm just kidding." He sobered. "I love you, Rory."

She smiled up at him. "I love you too, Jess."