Hey peeps! I'm back again, but don't run in fright. This is a very
emotional child as you look into the mind of a little girl who hasn't
realized that there is more to life than what you can do, and is going
through a period of depression. It's really very sad, and I would just like
to say that I don't feel this way about anybody, and it's really very
serious. It isn't that people who are sick are less of a person, but Usagi
doesn't know that and believes that she is nothing more than a burden to
her family.
***
"Goku, come here! Quickly, you have to see this."
Usagi looked up at her mother. She was in bed, like she normally was, and could barely make out the forms of two people in the other room.
"Goku, he's walking. Can you believe it? Our little baby is walking!"
Another form entered the touching scene. Her daddy was smiling so happily as he looked at his little baby boy take his first steps. He was only five months old, and normally babies don't start to walk until they're at least a year. Or, in Usagi's case, she hadn't been able to walk....ever. And she was almost three.
She clenched her tiny hands in frustration. It wasn't like she wasn't happy for her little brother. After all, she loved him. She had always wanted a sibling, and when she had found out that her mother was going to have a baby, it had been like a dream come true. Of course, at the time she hadn't known how it would be. After all, she was two years older than her brother was, but he had started doing things she hadn't been able to do her entire life when he was only a month old. And it wasn't like hear parents loved her any less, or neglected her or anything. It was just that with Gohan first crawling, and then walking around the house, it was a lot more work. And it wasn't like her dad was always there anyway. He was always off outside, doing whatever he did. They still loved her....they did....they had to.
Usagi turned her head as her eyes started to water. She quickly blinked the tears away, and stared at the wall. She didn't want to ruin this happy moment for her family. She had done enough already to ruin those moments. She was nothing more than a crippled child. She couldn't do anything that a normal person could do without any effort. She had never even left her bed. She had grown up in the confines of her tiny little room, and had never been able to see outside. Sometimes, when she begged her mother would open the window and let in fresh air, but it was only for a minute before it would become too cold, and the window would have to be shut again.
Usagi curled up in a little ball, lying on her side with her hand under her head. Just because she couldn't do anything didn't mean that she was useless! She constantly told herself. And her parents spent tons of time with her. At least, they had before Gohan had come along. But daddy still came and joked around with her, and Mommy still tried to turn her into the smartest little girl of all time.
Not that she wasn't already. Usagi knew that she was abnormally perceptive and intelligent at her age. While Gohan learned to walk when he was five months old, she could read when she was one. She had already gone through all of the books in the house, leaving her mother to try to find her more and more to occupy her time. But she always told herself that it wasn't that she was more of a freak or anything by being more intelligent than she should be. After all, what else was she supposed to do with her time? She had realized as soon as she had first opened a book just what she was. In ancient cultures they had abandoned their sick, and she would have been left by the side of the road a long time ago. Sometimes she wondered if that would have been better.
There was happy laughter in the other room as Usagi swirled deeper and deeper into depression. It had been so much easier when she thought that she was relatively normal. Before she had realized that not everyone lived out their life in a bed. That they went out, and did things. That other people saw that world, and not just pictures. That not everyone had to live with the constant pain in their chest, that brought tears to their eyes and made them cry out when they weren't careful. She had stopped crying because of the pain in her chest a long time ago. It always made her parents worried, and she didn't want them to worry about her, she wanted them to be happy. Besides, she had always known what there was more wrong with her than met the eye.
That there was something..different about her than even other children with her condition. She knew too much, and was too fast of a learner. She grasped concepts with ease that even her mother had trouble with. And then there was the feeling of something being wrong. Something she couldn't explain, and never tried to. She would look down at her body and not just see a little girl that was white from never being out in the sun, and so skinny that she was nothing more than skin and bones and recognize it as her own. It was like she was looking at something else. . someone else. She had even looked in a mirror once. Dead, black eyes had stared back at her, and her skeleton like face was surrounded by black, stringy hair. And she had felt like she had this incredible feeling of deja'vu. Almost like she had seen that face before, only different. And not in a mirror. And that wrong feeling had come back.
She closed her eyes and drifted off. She couldn't be here for this. For a long time she had known that one-day her baby brother would surpass her, and wondered what would happen to her. Would her parents be like they had in olden days, and throw her away? She thought they loved her, but what if she was wrong? Could she take that chance? The laughter and voices in the other room seemed to get louder as the urge to get away became nearly overpowering. There was nothing she wanted more at that precise moment than to be gone, to be anywhere else but where she was. She reached for something deep inside of herself, acting purely on impulse. She felt like her body was being ripped in two, and then the pain was gone.
And it wasn't just the pain from what she had done, it was that pain she had known her entire life. For the first time, it was gone. Usagi looked down and saw her body lying below her. It wasn't moving, and she could hear the rhythmic breathing. In and out, out and in. But she wasn't there. What the heck was going on! There was no way this could be happening, after all, the only way you could look at your own body was in a mirror, and her mother made sure there were no mirrors in her room! And she had read all sorts of science books, and not in a single one was there any basic principle where this could occur! But then slowly, the panic passed. Just because se had no idea what was going on, didn't mean there was a perfectly logical reason for it all.
Slowly, carefully she floated to the ground. She had no idea how she had just done what she did, or what exactly it was. And she had no idea how she instinctively knew how to control herself.
She landed on ghost like feet, and not a sound was heard as she walked across the room. It was a strange feeling, walking. Or was she floating? She couldn't really tell.
Finally she reached the slightly open door in her room, and reached for the door handle. But when she touched it, her hand just passed right through. And she didn't feel more than a tingling sensation. But there was more than just that, and she looked even closer at her hand. There was something wrong..not only the fact that her hand was transparent, but she could barely make out the smoky image. Finally she realized what it was. Her hand wasn't the white hand that was almost like a skeleton. The hand she was looking at was dark, incredibly dark as if it she had spent her entire life in the sun. And it wasn't like a skeleton; it was like a normal hand. But at the same time, when she looked at her real hand she had this feeling that it wasn't real, but this hand felt, right. But she didn't have time for that now, and steeling herself she walked through the door.
The tingling sensation didn't last more than a moment before she was completely through. She half-walked and half-floated to the three people in the room. Where before all she would see were small images she could barely make out, now she saw them as if she was in the room with them, and in a way she was.
Gohan took one more step on wobbly legs, and then they finally gave out on him. With a little plop he fell on his bottom, and smiled up at his parents. He was so adorable, so..normal. Even Usagi had to admit that when she looked at him she couldn't help but love him. He was just everything she had always wanted to be.
Chichi scooped him up in his arms and started to spin around, while Goku stood off to the side, laughing. It was the perfect family picture, the happy parents with their normal son. The only thing ruining it was her, lying in her room. And when she was there, they were happy.
Goku finally stopped laughing, and they settled down. Meanwhile, she was watching. Usagi had never seen what it was like when she wasn't there like this. She had always imagined that she was an obstacle, but had never dreamed they could be so happy without her. When she was around there was always a tension in the air of trying not to hurt her, or make her sad.
Chichi glanced over to the door to her room. "Goku, do you want to go check on Usagi? I haven't heard anything from her room in a while, and maybe you can watch cartoons or something."
Usagi could have sworn she saw a brief expression of disappointment cross his face before it was gone. And that was all she needed. She moved to go back and enter her body. After all, she didn't want her beloved Dad to go check on her when she was really not there. But when she moved to go back, this invisible force caught her. Like a gust of wind. The next thing she knew she wasn't in her bed anymore, and had this incredible feeling of moving faster than light.
The next thing she knew she was in what she could only guess to be a city. All around her were buildings and people moving. She had never seen anyone besides her family in her entire life, and now she was surrounded by more than possibly her parents had ever seen their entire lives. They walked past her talking on their cell phones, or just looking at the ground in front of them. One woman even walked right through her. And all that Usagi felt was that tingling sensation.
But there was one image that caught her attention. In all of the constant movement, there was one still person. Usagi moved closer to get a better look. It was a woman, sitting Indian style on the ground. She had crazy blue, almost cyan hair and was wearing a simple gray outfit. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be waiting for something. Right in the middle of the road. Everyone walked around her, almost as if they were used to her being there. There was this incredible feeling of sadness that seemed to come out of the woman in a tangible aura. And Usagi felt a feeling of kinship that she had never felt before, even with her parents. Because even though she had her parents with her, she was still essentially alone. They could never understand her, and sometimes Usagi wondered if they even liked her. And this woman. Usagi didn't know how she knew, but she was alone too.
Suddenly the blue womans eyes snapped open, yellow eyes seemed to look right at her. But that wasn't possible! No one could see her! But the almost frightening yellow eyes passed her, and looked at other people on the street. It must have just been her imagination. Then the woman stood up, and brushed herself off. And Usagi could barely hear her speak words to no one in particular.
"You didn't come today either Washu. It's been exactly two years now; I'm done waiting. It's time to get on with my life." And then she started to walk purposely away.
Usagi moved as if to follow her, but then the invisible wind caught her again, and she was rushed back to her body.
***
"Usagi, wake up." Goku moved to shake his daughter's shoulder. But even her eyelid didn't flicker. Goku gently shook her again; she was so fragile he didn't want to accidentally hurt her. But once more, she didn't wake up. He began to become more and more frightened. "USAGII, YOU NEED TO WAKE UP NOW! CHICHI!" He called his wife. He had never seen Usagi like this before, she usually woke up as soon as he touched her, she was that sensitive.
Chichi came running into the room, Gohan forgotten on the floor. "What is it Goku? What's wrong?" Her eyes moved to the still form of Usagi and her hand flew to her mouth and she gasped. "No."
"I think that something is seriously wrong. She's never just not woken up before. I think we should take her to the hospital, her condition may have gotten worse." Goku began to bundle her up into his arms. The fastest way would be in he carried her.
"Get Gohan ready. I'm going to fly on ahead, and you can follow me in the car." Chichi nodded and ran into the other room.
Goku looked back down at his beloved little girl. He had never seen her like this, and hadn't been this frightened since the day she was born. "Please Usa, please just be OK."
***
Usagi came back to her room, only to see that her body was gone, and the house was empty. 'What's going on?'
***
Hey everybody! I know I'm a terrible person. But I need this to happen for the rest of the story to continue. But don't worry, everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be.
Review if you want more!
Email me at sirencalling@yahoo.com if you have anything you want to say. And I happily accept flames!
***
"Goku, come here! Quickly, you have to see this."
Usagi looked up at her mother. She was in bed, like she normally was, and could barely make out the forms of two people in the other room.
"Goku, he's walking. Can you believe it? Our little baby is walking!"
Another form entered the touching scene. Her daddy was smiling so happily as he looked at his little baby boy take his first steps. He was only five months old, and normally babies don't start to walk until they're at least a year. Or, in Usagi's case, she hadn't been able to walk....ever. And she was almost three.
She clenched her tiny hands in frustration. It wasn't like she wasn't happy for her little brother. After all, she loved him. She had always wanted a sibling, and when she had found out that her mother was going to have a baby, it had been like a dream come true. Of course, at the time she hadn't known how it would be. After all, she was two years older than her brother was, but he had started doing things she hadn't been able to do her entire life when he was only a month old. And it wasn't like hear parents loved her any less, or neglected her or anything. It was just that with Gohan first crawling, and then walking around the house, it was a lot more work. And it wasn't like her dad was always there anyway. He was always off outside, doing whatever he did. They still loved her....they did....they had to.
Usagi turned her head as her eyes started to water. She quickly blinked the tears away, and stared at the wall. She didn't want to ruin this happy moment for her family. She had done enough already to ruin those moments. She was nothing more than a crippled child. She couldn't do anything that a normal person could do without any effort. She had never even left her bed. She had grown up in the confines of her tiny little room, and had never been able to see outside. Sometimes, when she begged her mother would open the window and let in fresh air, but it was only for a minute before it would become too cold, and the window would have to be shut again.
Usagi curled up in a little ball, lying on her side with her hand under her head. Just because she couldn't do anything didn't mean that she was useless! She constantly told herself. And her parents spent tons of time with her. At least, they had before Gohan had come along. But daddy still came and joked around with her, and Mommy still tried to turn her into the smartest little girl of all time.
Not that she wasn't already. Usagi knew that she was abnormally perceptive and intelligent at her age. While Gohan learned to walk when he was five months old, she could read when she was one. She had already gone through all of the books in the house, leaving her mother to try to find her more and more to occupy her time. But she always told herself that it wasn't that she was more of a freak or anything by being more intelligent than she should be. After all, what else was she supposed to do with her time? She had realized as soon as she had first opened a book just what she was. In ancient cultures they had abandoned their sick, and she would have been left by the side of the road a long time ago. Sometimes she wondered if that would have been better.
There was happy laughter in the other room as Usagi swirled deeper and deeper into depression. It had been so much easier when she thought that she was relatively normal. Before she had realized that not everyone lived out their life in a bed. That they went out, and did things. That other people saw that world, and not just pictures. That not everyone had to live with the constant pain in their chest, that brought tears to their eyes and made them cry out when they weren't careful. She had stopped crying because of the pain in her chest a long time ago. It always made her parents worried, and she didn't want them to worry about her, she wanted them to be happy. Besides, she had always known what there was more wrong with her than met the eye.
That there was something..different about her than even other children with her condition. She knew too much, and was too fast of a learner. She grasped concepts with ease that even her mother had trouble with. And then there was the feeling of something being wrong. Something she couldn't explain, and never tried to. She would look down at her body and not just see a little girl that was white from never being out in the sun, and so skinny that she was nothing more than skin and bones and recognize it as her own. It was like she was looking at something else. . someone else. She had even looked in a mirror once. Dead, black eyes had stared back at her, and her skeleton like face was surrounded by black, stringy hair. And she had felt like she had this incredible feeling of deja'vu. Almost like she had seen that face before, only different. And not in a mirror. And that wrong feeling had come back.
She closed her eyes and drifted off. She couldn't be here for this. For a long time she had known that one-day her baby brother would surpass her, and wondered what would happen to her. Would her parents be like they had in olden days, and throw her away? She thought they loved her, but what if she was wrong? Could she take that chance? The laughter and voices in the other room seemed to get louder as the urge to get away became nearly overpowering. There was nothing she wanted more at that precise moment than to be gone, to be anywhere else but where she was. She reached for something deep inside of herself, acting purely on impulse. She felt like her body was being ripped in two, and then the pain was gone.
And it wasn't just the pain from what she had done, it was that pain she had known her entire life. For the first time, it was gone. Usagi looked down and saw her body lying below her. It wasn't moving, and she could hear the rhythmic breathing. In and out, out and in. But she wasn't there. What the heck was going on! There was no way this could be happening, after all, the only way you could look at your own body was in a mirror, and her mother made sure there were no mirrors in her room! And she had read all sorts of science books, and not in a single one was there any basic principle where this could occur! But then slowly, the panic passed. Just because se had no idea what was going on, didn't mean there was a perfectly logical reason for it all.
Slowly, carefully she floated to the ground. She had no idea how she had just done what she did, or what exactly it was. And she had no idea how she instinctively knew how to control herself.
She landed on ghost like feet, and not a sound was heard as she walked across the room. It was a strange feeling, walking. Or was she floating? She couldn't really tell.
Finally she reached the slightly open door in her room, and reached for the door handle. But when she touched it, her hand just passed right through. And she didn't feel more than a tingling sensation. But there was more than just that, and she looked even closer at her hand. There was something wrong..not only the fact that her hand was transparent, but she could barely make out the smoky image. Finally she realized what it was. Her hand wasn't the white hand that was almost like a skeleton. The hand she was looking at was dark, incredibly dark as if it she had spent her entire life in the sun. And it wasn't like a skeleton; it was like a normal hand. But at the same time, when she looked at her real hand she had this feeling that it wasn't real, but this hand felt, right. But she didn't have time for that now, and steeling herself she walked through the door.
The tingling sensation didn't last more than a moment before she was completely through. She half-walked and half-floated to the three people in the room. Where before all she would see were small images she could barely make out, now she saw them as if she was in the room with them, and in a way she was.
Gohan took one more step on wobbly legs, and then they finally gave out on him. With a little plop he fell on his bottom, and smiled up at his parents. He was so adorable, so..normal. Even Usagi had to admit that when she looked at him she couldn't help but love him. He was just everything she had always wanted to be.
Chichi scooped him up in his arms and started to spin around, while Goku stood off to the side, laughing. It was the perfect family picture, the happy parents with their normal son. The only thing ruining it was her, lying in her room. And when she was there, they were happy.
Goku finally stopped laughing, and they settled down. Meanwhile, she was watching. Usagi had never seen what it was like when she wasn't there like this. She had always imagined that she was an obstacle, but had never dreamed they could be so happy without her. When she was around there was always a tension in the air of trying not to hurt her, or make her sad.
Chichi glanced over to the door to her room. "Goku, do you want to go check on Usagi? I haven't heard anything from her room in a while, and maybe you can watch cartoons or something."
Usagi could have sworn she saw a brief expression of disappointment cross his face before it was gone. And that was all she needed. She moved to go back and enter her body. After all, she didn't want her beloved Dad to go check on her when she was really not there. But when she moved to go back, this invisible force caught her. Like a gust of wind. The next thing she knew she wasn't in her bed anymore, and had this incredible feeling of moving faster than light.
The next thing she knew she was in what she could only guess to be a city. All around her were buildings and people moving. She had never seen anyone besides her family in her entire life, and now she was surrounded by more than possibly her parents had ever seen their entire lives. They walked past her talking on their cell phones, or just looking at the ground in front of them. One woman even walked right through her. And all that Usagi felt was that tingling sensation.
But there was one image that caught her attention. In all of the constant movement, there was one still person. Usagi moved closer to get a better look. It was a woman, sitting Indian style on the ground. She had crazy blue, almost cyan hair and was wearing a simple gray outfit. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be waiting for something. Right in the middle of the road. Everyone walked around her, almost as if they were used to her being there. There was this incredible feeling of sadness that seemed to come out of the woman in a tangible aura. And Usagi felt a feeling of kinship that she had never felt before, even with her parents. Because even though she had her parents with her, she was still essentially alone. They could never understand her, and sometimes Usagi wondered if they even liked her. And this woman. Usagi didn't know how she knew, but she was alone too.
Suddenly the blue womans eyes snapped open, yellow eyes seemed to look right at her. But that wasn't possible! No one could see her! But the almost frightening yellow eyes passed her, and looked at other people on the street. It must have just been her imagination. Then the woman stood up, and brushed herself off. And Usagi could barely hear her speak words to no one in particular.
"You didn't come today either Washu. It's been exactly two years now; I'm done waiting. It's time to get on with my life." And then she started to walk purposely away.
Usagi moved as if to follow her, but then the invisible wind caught her again, and she was rushed back to her body.
***
"Usagi, wake up." Goku moved to shake his daughter's shoulder. But even her eyelid didn't flicker. Goku gently shook her again; she was so fragile he didn't want to accidentally hurt her. But once more, she didn't wake up. He began to become more and more frightened. "USAGII, YOU NEED TO WAKE UP NOW! CHICHI!" He called his wife. He had never seen Usagi like this before, she usually woke up as soon as he touched her, she was that sensitive.
Chichi came running into the room, Gohan forgotten on the floor. "What is it Goku? What's wrong?" Her eyes moved to the still form of Usagi and her hand flew to her mouth and she gasped. "No."
"I think that something is seriously wrong. She's never just not woken up before. I think we should take her to the hospital, her condition may have gotten worse." Goku began to bundle her up into his arms. The fastest way would be in he carried her.
"Get Gohan ready. I'm going to fly on ahead, and you can follow me in the car." Chichi nodded and ran into the other room.
Goku looked back down at his beloved little girl. He had never seen her like this, and hadn't been this frightened since the day she was born. "Please Usa, please just be OK."
***
Usagi came back to her room, only to see that her body was gone, and the house was empty. 'What's going on?'
***
Hey everybody! I know I'm a terrible person. But I need this to happen for the rest of the story to continue. But don't worry, everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be.
Review if you want more!
Email me at sirencalling@yahoo.com if you have anything you want to say. And I happily accept flames!