Thoughts

Summary: Post "Alien", Olivia talks to Elliot about something that was bothering her throughout the whole case. Mention of a past OA relationship.

Olivia Benson returned to the SVU squad room and sat down at her desk. She grabbed a file and opened it, but it was obvious that she was not paying any attention to it. She looked deep in thought. Her gaze was not focused on anything or anyone in the room.

Elliot eyed her curiously, but she did not change. He doubted that she even saw him. He stood up and walked over next to her. "Penny for your thoughts."

Olivia shrugged and moved her chair over slightly to allow Elliot to pull up a chair next to hers. "There's just one thing about this case that keeps haunting me."

Elliot waited a moment to see if she was going to continue or if he should just drop it. Many times it was the former, but he respected her too much to push her into talking about something she did not wish to discuss.

"I mean, I know that many people feel that homosexuality is wrong. I accept that. I don't go around proclaiming my orientation to every one I meet," Olivia started. She drew in a breath as she tried to figure out how she was going to phrase her actual complaint.

"Elliot," she began in a questioning tone.

"Hmm," he responded.

"Are kids like Sean really that mean? Picking on other kids because of their parents' sexual preference? Something that is beyond their control? Can schools legally keep someone from attending based on their home lifestyle?" she ranted. Her anger was obvious and growing with each question.

"Woah," Elliot exclaimed as he raised his hands in the air. "Too many questions coming at once, Liv."

"Sorry," Olivia said in a softer tone. "If it helps, that's pretty much it."

"Really?" Elliot questioned with a disbelieving, raised eyebrow.

Olivia shrugged. "Well, until you say something that pisses me off."

Elliot shrugged back. "Eh, seems fair. Do I have permission to start addressing your rant?"

Olivia nodded.

"To answer your first question, I would not be surprised if there were other kids like Sean. I personally do not condone it, but then again, I'm not homophobic. It was not an issue growing up."

"But it's just not fair," Olivia argued back. "What makes the child of a homosexual couple different from a child of a heterosexual couple?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Liv," Elliot responded honestly. He rubbed her cheek gently. "Kids are just mean. The only explanation I can think of is that children born to heterosexual couples are more common, and bullies tend to pick on people who are different, i.e. children of homosexual couples."

"But--"

"I know," Elliot said gently. "That's no excuse, but that's life as a child right there. It's just not fair."

"That's the only explanation you can give?" Olivia asked. Anger was still obvious in her face, but she kept her tone of voice down. She was not angry with Elliot. She was angry at the situation. "'You're just going to have to deal with it because that's how kids are'?"

Elliot nodded and stroked Olivia's cheek again. "Sorry, Liv. That's the only explanation I can come up with from the top of my head." He stood up and pushed his chair back to its original position in front of Fin's desk. "Why's this getting to you so much anyway?" he asked. "You said so yourself that you didn't care what other people thought about you being gay."

Olivia nodded. "I don't care about what they think of me," she started, "but Alex and I were thinking of adopting."