A/N: All I have to say about this chapter is Happy Halloween and y'all get to read the letter. Also, you'll just have to be supersmart and distinguish between sign/thoughts/dreams

Chapter Nine

Sara managed to make it home before she collapsed onto her bed. Her tears flowed long and hard, eyes burning, throat feeling as if someone were scratching steel wool down the tissue.

Sara curled up, clutching Grissom's letter. She couldn't read it. She shouldn't read it. But still her fingers itched to tug out the letter inside. Be strong. She commanded herself. You had good reasons for what you did. Finally, her sobs subsided into smaller hiccups. Sara sat up and slid a finger under the flap. You can do this. You will not crack. Sara took a deep breath and unfolded the letter inside.

…………………………

"Kelli? Hi, it's Nick. Nick Stokes from, uh, yesterday. I was just calling to see if you'd like to go out to dinner sometime. How's tomorrow night? Anyway, give me a call. My number is 555-8018."

Amy replayed the message for Kelli. "C'mon, Kel. We know he has a job, he's a nice guy, dresses well, and he's from a good family."

Kelli looked startled. "How do you know that?"

"Google is your friend, Kelli. Don't be afraid of it." Amy waved a sheet of paper. "Check out all of these articles on the Stokes family. His mother is one of the top lawyers in the state and his father sits on the state Supreme Court. He has five sisters and one brother. He's the youngest. Two of his sisters are society wives, one sister is a lawyer, one is a kindergarten teacher, and one is an officer at a bank. His brother works for a communications company. That's all I can find so far. Give me some more time."

"Amy."

"What? It's not illegal. I Googled him." Amy held out the phone. "Call."

Kelli punched in the number. "Hi, Nick?"

…………………………

"Ready to go, Mom?" Lindsey waited eagerly by the car.

"Yeah, sure."

"Can I drive?" Lindsey asked.

Catherine chuckled dryly. "Not a chance, kiddo. You've had your permit a week."

"Come on, mom. How cool would I look if I drove up in a big ol' SUV?"

"We'll talk about it when you finish Driver's Ed."

"Mo-om."

"Not happening." Catherine opened the driver's side door and slid inside. "No way, no how."

"Please?" Lindsey begged.

"No." Catherine's cell phone trilled, breaking the discussion. "Hello?"

"Hey Cath." Sara's voice sounded timid.

"Sara? Where are you?"

"At home." She sniffled. "Are you busy right now?"

"What – no. I was just dropping Lindsey at a thing. Are you okay? Is Grissom okay?"
"Grissom is fine." Sara couldn't conceal the bitterness in her voice.

"Whoa, girl. Hold on. I'll be there in a few." Catherine snapped her phone shut.

"You're not coming?" Lindsey looked positively giddy.

"I think Sara needs me." Catherine ignored her daughter's eagerness to be rid of her.

"Well, if she needs you…"

"Oh, look, here we are." Catherine tossed her daughter a glare. "See you later."

"I love you. See ya later!" Lindsey jumped out of the car and didn't glance back as she ran to her friends.

…………………………

"Hey Soph." Lindsey greeted the tall raven-haired beauty, not noticing the boy next to her until Sophie introduced them.

"Lindsey, I'd like you to meet my twin brother, Dylan." Sophie gestured to her companion. Dylan and Sophie had the same height, but the similarities ended there. Dylan had fair hair to Sohpie's jet black, he was well-tanned to Sophie's pale, milky skin, his glasses were thick, with heavy black frames, unlike Sophie's contacts.

Twins? Lindsey would barely buy related. What a charity case. She thought unkindly.

"Sophie took a hearty bite of her hot dog. "Dylan, I simply do not understand how you can be a vegetarian."

Dylan rolled his eyes. "Pick up a newspaper, Soph."

"Why are you so rude to me?" Sophie set down her hot dog and put her delicate hands to slim hips. "What did I ever do to you?"

Dylan snorted. "I've got it narrowed down to you were born."

"Look, Dylan. I may not be taking three AP courses and fucking Latin, but I'm not stupid!"

"I never said you were!" Dylan shouted, throwing up his hands.

"You implied it." Sophie retorted.

"I'm going to find Ben." Lindsey informed the bickering siblings, sliding away.

…………………………

Gil? Emily's eyes shined with worry. What happened, Gil?

Nothing, Mom. Grissom shook her off.

Gil, don't give me that. You don't sulk this much unless something is wrong. So I repeat, what is wrong?

Nothing. Grissom insisted.

Emily folded her arms and stared at her son for a few minutes. Then with a dramatic sigh, her hands moved again. Fine. I can't force you to tell me. She paused. Anna Swanson is stopping by tomorrow. You should say hello.

I haven't seen Anna in years. Grissom signed back.

That doesn't mean you can't say hello. Emily shot back.

Mother – Gil started with no small measure of annoyance.

Emily pursed her lips. I don't know why I try.

…………………………

"Sara?" Catherine called, using the Hide-a-key stashed under the stone walkway. "Sara, where are you?" She moved past the breakfast bar and into the hall. "Are you okay?" Catherine heard a sniffle emanating from the door to her right. "Sara?" She pushed open the door to find Sara curled up on her bed, clutching a single jade throw pillow, sobbing.

Catherine's pager beeped. 419 at the Trop. "Shit." Catherine swore. She flipped open her cell phone and hit speed dial number three. "Hey. I need you here. Thanks." Catherine sighed and stroked Sara's forehead. "I have to go, sweetheart. Hold on tight, okay?" Catherine stood. "Okay, honey?"

Sara's sobs only increased in volume.

"Oh, Jesus." Catherine put a hand to her head. "God damn it!" She released Sara's hand and made her way to the door. A light knock startled Catherine.

She opened the door. "Hey. Come in."

"Thanks." Jim Brass stepped over the threshold.

"You sure got here fast." Catherine commented.

"I was in the neighborhood." Jim replied gruffly. "Where is she?"

"In the bedroom." Catherine directed him.

"Thanks." Brass shut the door behind Catherine and went into Sara's room. "Sara, it's Jim. What are you holding there, sweetheart?" He pried the letter from Sara's hand. "This is from Gil." He noted. "Oh boy."

…………………………

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Dylan apologized. "Sophie and I don't usually fight like that."

Lindsey nodded cooly.

"I don't think she's stupid." Dylan continued. "I don't."

"Yeah." Lindsey tossed off sarcastically. "I can see that."

Dylan hung his head. "There's a game of Capture the flag going. Do you play?"

"Do I run around and play tag?" Lindsey raised an eyebrow. She caught sight of Ben setting up the divides and picking team captains. "Sure."

…………………………

Dear Sara,

So now you've met Amy, Veronica, and Spencer. You've seen who I used to be.

Do you remember when we met? I do. At that art showing just off campus. It was hot and muggy that night, that's why you took off your coat. I couldn't stop staring at your shoulders.

Brass knew where this was going. Oh, this cannot be good.

When you asked me for coffee that night, I said yes because I didn't know how dangerous you were. If I had known, I wouldn't have said yes.

Congrats, Gil. You're a fucking moron. Brass rolled his eyes.

But I did say yes. And as hard as I try, I can't regret it.

There you go, Gil Brass was thoroughly relieved that his best friend managed to pull his head out of his ass long enough to assure Sara that he wasn't unaffected by her and that he was glad they'd met. Now don't screw it up.

I can't regret any of the smiles, any of the laughs, or any of the looks. I can't wish that it had never happened.

If I see a but, I'll friggin' murder you, Gil. Brass muttered.

And when we were at Berkeley, I remembered all of it. So you remember that night I met you, we met at the Tripp Art Gallery. I went back when we were there. They still have the painting that we spent two hours staring at. I never told you this, but the next night after I met you and we went to that opening, I went back and bought a quilt with the print on it. I thought that was as close as we were going to get. I still have the quilt. It's buried in my bedroom closet. I couldn't bear to sleep under it once you came to Vegas. It didn't seem right.

But this doesn't seem right either, hurting you like I have been. I do regret all the times I've hurt and I hope that, despite my latest screw-up, I'm not too late. I'm coming home Friday night. I'll make a vegetarian dinner for two. If you decide I'm worth a shot, I'll wait until midnight.

Brass sighed. You've got to give the man credit. He knows how to keep the ball in someone else's court. He scanned the last two words.

Love,

Gil.

…………………………

A/N(2): Oh, gee, I guess I lied. Any guesses as to Anna Swanson's significance? Who thinks Sara will go to Grissom?

Not my greatest chap, I know, but I posted on some sort of schedule-type basis!