A/N: I know--it's been a long time. I have thought about this story every single day for the past five months. I had veered from my original storyline over the past few chapters, and I had to figure out what exactly I was going to do from this point forward. Plus the longer I went without writing, the harder it was for me to sit down and write. And so I'm posting this short chapter in the hopes that I still have some readers out there and that I can become motivated again. I still love this story and the Teen Titans, and I really want to finish it. I'm determined to not let this be one of those unfinished stories. Thanks everyone!
Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
What on earth did that mean, anyway? Was it Latin? It didn't really sound Latin, but I was certainly no judge.
I polished off my grilled cheese sandwich, and then put my dirty dishes into the sink. I turned on the water, watching it run over my plate and wash the crumbs away. Maybe saying those words would make the dishes suddenly clean.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," I said.
Nothing.
I concentrated harder. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."
Nope.
Maybe I needed a magic wand.
"Morgan?" came a voice from behind. I turned my head, watching Cyborg as he came down the stairs.
"Hi," I responded as I turned off the water faucet. I had been wondering which of the Titans would be the first to come to greet me after my hasty exit from the make-shift laboratory, but I honestly hadn't put my money on Cyborg.
"I have something that I think you'd like to see," he said, heading over the giant screen on the other side of the room.
"No offense," I began, "but I'm not sure you guys are the best judges on what I would like to see right now."
"Trust me—this one is pretty interesting," he said. He pressed a few keys on the control panel, and the screen lit up.
The image was from a security camera—the one in the laboratory, I quickly realized. Robin and me-in-Raven's-body stood in front of the cryochambers, our discussion quickly turning into a heated argument. As I watched him set a hand on my shoulder, my anger flared up again.
"Why is he like that?" I wondered out loud.
"What?" Cyborg asked.
"Robin—he all acts like your friend, but the minute you don't agree with him…" I gestured to the screen, where Robin was now tackling me to the floor, "he suddenly is the biggest dick."
Cyborg tossed me a glare. "You don't know what you're talking about." I was about to ask what he meant, but then he pointed to the monitor. "This is the part I wanted you to see."
"Get off me!" I was yelling, twisting my body around on the floor. Robin's muscles were tight as he pinned my arms above my head.
My adrenaline was building just from watching the scene. Why on earth had Cyborg decided that I needed to see this?
Then I saw it.
"NO!" the recorded version of me shouted. I could see my body tighten, and inky, black magic enveloped me, shooting into the air. It almost looked like, well, a raven—wings spread wide and beak screeching along with me. The raven slammed into the overhead cryochamber, instantly shattering the glass before it dissipated. The liquid inside of the tube burst out with the glass shards. Robin quickly backed away and I sat up. Then I saw the body of the boy fall out of the chamber and hit the ground beside me; it was so gruesome and disrespectful.
Cyborg backed up the recording until the visage of the raven was in full view, then he let it play again. "Don't you see?" he said.
"Yeah," I said slowly, "but I'm not entirely sure what I'm seeing."
"That's Raven's magic," he returned.
"But how can that be?" I asked, turning toward him. "I didn't do anything—say those magic words or anything!"
"Raven's powers are intertwined with her emotions. You probably let something loose when you got upset."
I remembered the sensation that I'd had—of something snapping inside of me and spreading through my limbs. Maybe he was right. But how was I going to be able to control that?
"Then what's the point of the words?" I asked.
"I ain't gonna lie to ya, Mor," he began. "I don't really understand how it all works. All I know is that the words are the key to focusing her power. But we'll help you figure it out."
I glanced back at the screen, watching as Robin performed CPR on the boy. "Will you help me figure it out before someone else dies?" I asked, looking at Cyborg again.
"We'd better," he said with a shake of his head. "The only reason you're still standing here is because Robin is concerned about you. But if you screw up one more time, he'll probably throw your butt in jail." With that, he turned and walked away.
My eyebrows furrowed, not really understanding what he was saying. I turned toward the monitor.
I was just standing after yanking out the power cord, waiting for something to happen. The other Titans rushed into the room, and the picture flickered a bit as all the overhead lights came on. Cyborg and Starfire ran over to help Robin; Beast Boy remained at the back of the room.
"Robin, what has happened here?" Starfire inquired.
"Morgan, are you okay?" Beast Boy asked. I didn't reply. The others looked over at me. I was swaying and I figured that since I didn't remember any of this that I was already pretty much unconscious.
"Hey, girl," Cyborg prompted. "Say something."
My body suddenly had the fortitude of a wet noodle; I crumpled to the floor in a heap.
"Morgan!" Robin cried out, leaving the body of the boy on the floor and running over to my crumpled form. Beast Boy dashed over, as well.
"Rob—?" Cyborg started.
"Take over!" Robin snapped, not looking back. Cyborg and Starfire exchanged panicked glances, but then Cyborg resumed CPR on the boy.
Beast Boy rolled me over and set his fingers on my neck. "I don't get it!" he exclaimed. "She's still breathing and everything, but her skin is freezing cold."
"It might be shock," Robin said. He leaned over, opening my eyelid so that he could look into my eyes. His expression became even darker. "Except this doesn't look like shock." He took off his cape and draped it over my body. Then he knelt down, propping me up in his arms and holding me tightly against his chest while he vigorously rubbed my arms. I was still gasping for breath like a fish out of water.
I was stunned. It just didn't make sense. Why was he acting like this? I thought he hated me.
"Hey," Beast Boy said. "Her machine is off." He morphed into a little spider monkey, reaching back behind the machines and plugging it back in.
Nothing happened.
The little monkey transformed back into a human. He stared at the control panel. "Uh, it says something about a system restart."
"Cyborg, help Beast Boy," Robin ordered.
Cyborg looked up. "But Starfire doesn't know CPR. We need a defibrill—"
"Then leave him," the black-haired teen barked. "He's dead. And Morgan will be, too, if we don't help her."
I'd seen enough. I stopped the playback and slumped into the nearby chair.
They'd given up on the boy to save me.
For some reason, this made me feel extremely guilty. Yes, I believed that the boy had been dead from the beginning, but the others hadn't felt the same way.
What if the boy had suffered the same way that I had when my machine had been turned off? What if he had been gasping for breath and burning with pain?
No, he was in a better place now. That had to be the truth—whether it was heaven or nothingness. Anything was better than wandering the earth. If that is what he had been doing.
Okay, now I was just thinking in circles.
The main thing that I had to do was get control of this situation by learning how to gain control of my powers. Raven's powers. Whatever.
I hadn't even started doing anything and I already had a headache.
"Morgan? Are you in here?"
I turned around, watching Starfire as she floated into the room. Her arms overflowed with books. "Yeah," I said hesitantly.
She smiled brilliantly at me. "Wonderful! I come bearing many items to help you learn mental focus." She set her armload down on the countertop, continuing to smile.
I slowly walked over to the pile, which seemed even larger now than it had when it had been in her arms. I tentatively sorted through some of the books. Evolutionary Witchcraft. The Inner Temple: Magick, Meditation, and Psychic Development. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft. Hmm. And here I'd thought that Raven owned every book on the subject. Obviously I was mistaken.
I also saw a few DVD cases in the mix, and I pulled those out to glance at the covers. The Haunting of Barney Palmer. The Last Unicorn. The Empire Strikes Back.
I held up the latter case and tossed her confused look. "Star Wars?"
"Yes," she said with a nod. "I believe that the training of the Sky Walker by the humorous green creature is most appropriate for your situation, as he was also learning to use his mystical power."
I tossed the DVD back into the pile. Maybe she had a point. "Thanks," I said. She smiled and left.
I glanced back at the pile. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed at this point. I had an eighth-grade education and I was supposed to somehow overcome the laws of physics? This was an extremely cruel cosmic joke.
Giving a sigh, I loaded all the books into my arms. There was no point in wasting time.
Ki is an eternal energy. Ki is the color green. It is inside everything, and can be used at a human's will. To use Ki, you must be able to visualize something very well. The key to using Ki is a place called the Hera. The Hera is located inside your body, three inches below your navel. Visualize it as a swirling ball of green energy. This is where you are going to draw your energy. To use Ki, you must visualize drawing energy from your Hera, and projecting it out of your body the way you want it to. The best Ki technique to use for practice is the Ki ball. Visualize the energy in your Hera slowly flowing up your body. Now cup your hands into a ball as if you were holding a baseball. Now visualize your energy going into your arms, and coming out of your palms. Make the energy come out of each hand as a beam. Make the beams swirl around each other into a ball. After a while, you should feel a push in between your hands, a wave, maybe a few sparks, and if you are advanced enough, you can make it visible. This is how you use Ki.
I lowered the book into my lap with an exaggerated sigh. What a load of mumbo-jumbo. I glanced at the author's portrait on the back cover. The woman had long, wavy, red hair and glasses that she wore on the tip of her nose. Apparently she was going for the wise gypsy look. How cliché was that?
On the nearby television, Luke Skywalker was receiving words of wisdom from Yoda. I wasn't really paying attention to it, which made me feel guilty because Cyborg had quickly set up the TV in Raven's room after I had asked him.
Everyone was being supportive and helpful, but no one knew the key to really helping me unlock my powers. That was the most frustrating thing of all. I'd been reading all night and didn't feel like I was making any sort of progress.
I imagined a green ball of Ki in my abdomen, having it flow down my arms. I looked at the messy pile of books on the floor beside me. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," I said.
Nothing. I don't even think that the dust moved.
I slumped a bit. To be honest, I think I was caught in a mental trap somewhere between not believing that it was possible for me to master the powers and being afraid of what might happen if I did.
Suddenly, the red lights flashed overhead and the alarm klaxon pierced the air. I jumped to my feet, adrenaline rapidly coursing through my body. I darted for the door, stopping before I opened it.
Shoes.
I whirled back around, my eyes scanning the floor. There they were—by the bed. I grabbed them and sat on the bed, pulling them on and quickly lacing them.
The alarm stopped, and I heard a noise outside. I scrambled over to the window. Down below, the Titans were leaving the tower—Robin on his cycle, Beast Boy flying in the form of an eagle, and Starfire carrying Cyborg.
They'd left without me!
I then berated myself for being surprised that they had gone. Of course they had left me. I didn't actually have the ability to help them—I was just a liability.
But then again, how was I supposed to gain any experience without the hands-on training?
With hardly another thought, I spun on my heel and ran out my bedroom door.