A/N: I don't believe it! I still have readers after all this time! Thank you so much for sticking with me through this. I'm becoming more diligent about my writing again, all because of you.
It took me a while to figure out the settings on the T-Car. After all, there were a lot of buttons and switches and flashy things. And there was the small fact that I'd never driven a car before. But after some trial and error, I managed to figure out how to make the car drive me to the other Titans on some automatic pilot setting.
The Titans were still on the move, and based on the strange patterns that they were taking, I could only guess that they were chasing someone. The T-Car never lost track of their signals, though.
Then I saw Cyborg and Robin up ahead of me, standing in the middle of the street. I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, yet stayed near it while I assessed what was happening.
A streak of green rained down from the sky, which I recognized as one of Starfire's starbolts. It hit the ground, and I could see the shower of asphalt that it sent airborne. Once the dust cleared, I saw their target. Based on the other fights I had witnessed, I had expected it to be some kind of large monster. However, this was just a couple of teenagers. One was a guy with spiky white hair and an awful orange jumpsuit. The other was a black-haired girl who wore black pants and a black hoodie. They both had the punk look, with both of them sporting lots of piercings, a tattoo here and there, and a lot of heavy makeup. Each of them carried a semi-large sack that bulged at all sorts of odd angles. Money. The boy also had what looked like an electric guitar strapped around his torso.
The boy dragged the very resistant girl behind him into another direction, but another starbolt swooped out of the sky and cut them off. The girl dropped her sack and stumbled, but he wrenched her back to her feet and reached for the bag.
"Surrender, Punk!" Robin shouted at the pair. "We've got you surrounded."
The girl looked terrified, but the boy only gave a creepy smile. "You may have unplugged Punk Rocket," he said in a British accent, "but I brought along my own backup singer." He turned to his companion. "Do it, Harm," he said.
She tossed him an angry glare, shaking her head emphatically.
"Do it!" he said, obviously pissed off by her response. He jabbed her with one of his bony elbows.
The girl continued to do nothing. I was actually getting a bit nervous. What was he going to have her do?
Beast Boy, in the form of a massive gorilla, suddenly appeared up the street, charging at top speed. Cyborg raised his sonic cannon. The girl tried to make a break for it, but Punk Rocket held her tight.
"Do it!" Punk Rocket yelled again.
Cyborg fired his cannon. The gorilla was almost to them.
"DO IT!" Punk screamed, the veins bulging in his forehead and neck. He raised his hand, and for a moment I thought he was going to slap her. Instead, he reached over to his companion and ripped out the ring in her bottom lip.
Blood sprayed from the wound nanoseconds before she screamed.
The air cracked with a sonic boom as the sound waves blew around us. Beast Boy was thrown back up the street by the force of the noise. Cyborg's cannon shot was blown off course, and it headed straight for Starfire, who flew out of the way just in time. Every window around us exploded like fireworks and every car alarm squealed. I hit the ground, covering my head with my hands and squeezing my eyes tight, feeling the shower of glass rain down over me.
Her insane scream continued, drilling into my head. I clapped my hands over my ears, but it didn't really help. My ear drums were going to burst—I just knew it.
As soon as the shards stopped falling, I peered up, keeping my hands tight against the sides of my head. Robin and Cyborg had also been on the ground, but were now getting up. Robin, blood trickling out of his ear, launched a birdarang, but it broke apart under the pressure of the sound waves before it reached the criminals. Cyborg had his arm panel open, and it lit up and flashed like a Christmas tree. He still trained his canon on the girl and fired; the shot visibly wavered and slowed before dissipating. I couldn't see Beast Boy or Starfire anywhere.
The girl continued to scream. How long could she keep this up? Wasn't she going to run out of breath?
I couldn't think any more. The noise drowned every thought in my head. I'd try to think of a plan, of something I could do, but I couldn't concentrate past the sound. Everything became muddled. Frustration. Pain. Anger. It built inside of me, hot and potent.
My Ki.
Suddenly I could only think of one thing.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" I shouted. My entire existence focused on the words. And the power flowed out of me.
The magic swooped overhead before dropping down around the criminal pair like an inky net. The girl's shrieking was encased inside my black bubble, and although the world was far from quiet with all of the alarms and dogs barking and various other sounds, it all seemed hushed in comparison.
The strange thing is that I felt connected to the magic, like it was simply an extra hand that I could move or control with a thought. I could sense my body drawing in energy from everything all around me to feed my magic. I was connected to everything—every person, rock, and car. Maybe Yoda hadn't been too far off when teaching Luke Skywalker.
I stepped up the street toward the others, the glass from the shattered windows crunching under my sneakers. I could feel the vibrations of the girl's screams beating against the inside of my magic bubble, but not a single sound wave escaped. Punk Rocket ran up to the wall, slamming his guitar against it, which broke in half.
"Morgan!" Cyborg exclaimed, rushing to my side. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping," I said simply.
Beast Boy, who had taken the form of an earless snake, slithered up the street. He returned to his human form. "Nice job!" he praised me. I couldn't help but smile.
The girl finally stopped screaming. Black, makeup-filled tears streaked her face. She marched over to Punk Rocket and slapped him before shouting at him, spitting blood with her words. They began to exchange words, but we couldn't hear any of it.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Robin asked me curtly.
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I knew that it would just give him more reason to get on my case. "Sure, it's just like advanced calculus."
His look told me that he didn't appreciate my comment. "I'm serious."
"I'm fine," I responded just as seriously.
"How will we proceed?" Starfire asked as she landed beside us all.
They began to talk amongst themselves, but I tuned out of the conversation. I marveled at what I had been able to do and how easily it had come once I had been able to tap into my surroundings and draw it out.
And then, like the cartoon cliché, a lightbulb turned on in my head. I knew how to put myself back in my body. I knew.
"Guys!" I exclaimed, whirling around and interrupting the others. "Let's wrap this up and go home. I've had an epiphany."
The room was dark and quiet. The Titans remained in the back of the room, but I couldn't even hear them breathe. I knew they were apprehensive about me trying this so soon. If only they could see things as clearly as I did in my head. I had a full-color map with every detail planned out. I had no doubt in my mind that I could do this. Besides, I knew they were ready to have Raven back. I was now no longer a useless member of the team, but I would never replace her. Particularly while camped out inside of her.
I stood before my chilled body for a few minutes, just studying it like someone might study an abstract piece of artwork with a hidden meaning. I couldn't see it as a person, and I definitely couldn't see it as me. It was a thing. It was nothing more than a statue.
I could see little bubbles of air clinging to the skin, which was so clean and healthy that it didn't seem real. Yet details still emerged under my scrutinizing gaze: the scar on the ankle and knee from a bike accident, the birthmark on the thigh, the crooked pinky finger. The thing's dress and hair swirled gently in the circulating fluid; it was the only sign of life and movement.
It was a shell, just waiting to be filled.
I took a few steps back, raising my arms above my head. I continued to stare down the tube, but I wasn't really looking at it as much as I was looking through it. I thought about Slade, and how he had tried to play God for his own evil means. I thought about how I had foolishly trusted him, and how he had ruined the lives of dozens of helpless teenagers who had been living on the street.
And when the anger started in the center of my chest, I let it grow and spread throughout my body, sucking energy out of the air.
"Azararth," I spoke strongly, through gritted teeth. "Metrion." I could feel the tension inside of me grow, and I slowly lowered my hands. "Zinthos!"
With that final word, I thrust my hands forward, allowing the buildup of power rush out toward the figure in the tube. Immediately I could feel something tugging on me, trying to pull me out.
It was working, but it wasn't working fast enough.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" I shouted again. Something echoed inside of my head, saying the words along with me. Raven.
The tugging sensation became harsher, and I suddenly felt like I was being dragged behind a truck. Sharp pricks of pain dotted all over my skin. Blood trickled out of my nose. I gritted my teeth hard, trying to concentrate on what I was doing and not the pain. The blood rushed away from my head, and blackness swirled before my eyes. My legs wobbled a bit, and I fell to my knees, determined not to faint. I couldn't feel my body any more, and the pain went away. Were my hands still outstretched? I didn't know.
Somehow I knew that if I held on for much longer, the power would kill me.
"Morgan, stop!" shouted a voice from behind me, but it sounded miles away.
No.
"You have to stop!" shouted another voice.
No.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" I repeated desperately, my voice straining. I didn't hear Raven speak with me this time.
The whirlwind of power around me slowed, and the energy slowly dissipated, leaving me defeated on the floor. I became aware of my hands again as they fell into my lap like dead weight.
I was still in Raven's body.
I lied down on the floor, glancing up at my imprisoned body with tears filling my suddenly sore eyes. I had come so close. Closer than I would have imagined just days before. But I had offered everything I had.
Or had I? Maybe if I had inched closer to death—past the point of no return—it would have worked. Maybe I was just a coward for not taking it that far.
I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder, and I jumped a bit. I turned my head ever so slightly, watching Robin as he crouched down beside me. He gazed at me with a mixed expression. Concern? Hope that he had Raven back? I really couldn't tell. The other Titans moved up behind me, as well.
"It didn't work," I murmured, focusing back on the shell so I wouldn't have to look at any of them. "I couldn't do it."
"Your power was…frightening," Starfire said quietly.
Cyborg spoke, "The electricity all throughout the tower was going nuts."
"It wasn't enough," I said simply.
"Maybe with some more practice..?" Beast Boy added.
"You don't get it," I snapped. "That was my limit." My eyebrows furrowed as my anger increased. The emotional intensity mixed with my weak body make it feel like little fireworks were going off inside of me. "It wasn't near enough power. I didn't even leave Raven's body, much climb back into my own. I'd need twice as much energy."
"It's okay," Robin said quietly. He used the bottom of his cape to wipe the blood off my face, suddenly making me feel very small.
God, it had hurt so bad. Did I dare try it again? What if I failed once more? Was I just feeding on the hope that I could do this when it wasn't possible? I'd been sporadically using this magic for a couple of days—Raven had been using it her whole life! What did I know?
It wasn't fair that my whole existence had become so screwed up. And it wasn't fair that I was always the one who had to fend for myself.
"Morgan," Beast Boy spoke, breaking into my thoughts. "We've been meaning to talk to you."
The disappointment of my defeat retreated as I turned to glance at the Titans. What on earth had I done now?
There was an awkward moment of silence as they all glanced at each other. Finally, Robin spoke up, "We just wanted to say we're sorry. You know, for giving you the wrong impression."
"We're afraid that we've pushed you too hard," Cyborg added. "We don't want you to think that we only care about having Raven back."
"And we don't want you to feel pressured into doing anything dangerous or stupid," Robin continued. "We know that you don't understand your powers right now. You don't need to rush into anything."
"We made that mistake once before," Beast Boy said solemnly. "We won't let that happen again with you."
"You have proven that you are a true friend," Starfire finished. "We are proud to have you on our team."
I tried to sit up, but quickly found that I lacked the energy. I did, however, have the energy to smile. "Thanks, everyone," I said.
"Okay, guys," Robin said, standing up. "Enough of this love-fest. You guys get out of here—I'll make sure Morgan is okay."
Cyborg and Beast Boy ran noisily out of the room, bragging to each other about who would whip the other at Ultimate Race Wars 3000. Starfire followed behind.
Robin sighed and stood over me. "You can't get up, can you?" he said with an amused smirk.
A sheepish expression filled my face. "Is it that obvious?"
"Kind of."
"I'm okay. I just tapped into my energy reserves a bit too much."
For a moment, neither of us moved—I knew what my excuse was, but I wasn't sure about his. "Um, are you going to help me?" I asked.
"Yeah, but I just want to make sure that we're clear on what the team was just telling you," he said, crouching back down beside me again. "Don't do anything stupid, okay? We don't want to lose both Raven and you."
"Don't be so dramatic," I chided. "It wasn't that bad."
Robin lifted one of my hands, turning the palm toward me. A black circle of semi-charred flesh rested in the middle of it. I was shocked.
"Not so bad?" he repeated.
"Okay, maybe it was a little bad," I admitted. "I pushed myself more than I should have."
His eyebrows furrowed. "Don't do it again, okay?"
I let out a rush of air. "Not a chance."
"Okay. Just remember that you're not fooling me," he said with a smile.
Yeah, well, he wasn't fooling me, either. He reeked of care and concern. It was just like he had told me after my battle with Parasite—how the image of Raven's body in the enemy's grasp would haunt him forever. He could deny it all he wanted, but he loved Raven, and every time he saw something bad happen to her—or her body—it probably messed with him.
"Okay, your staring is creeping me out," he said, breaking me out of my reverie.
"Sorry," I quickly apologized, looking away.
His arm reached under my shoulders, and he gently lifted me to a sitting position. My hands and legs were starting to tingle painfully. My whole body felt like a bruise. Fortunately, I knew I would be able to stand in a little bit of time. This magic stuff was harsh.
"I'll just need a few minutes here," I said. "I think I'll be able to get up."
He moved his arm away, and I instantly began to sway. He quickly put his arm back around me.
"Thanks," I said, slightly embarrassed.
"Sure," he replied. He sat on the floor beside me.
I was suddenly keenly aware of warmth of his arm and body right next to mine. I couldn't remember the last time I had been held like this. I liked it. A lot.
Too much.
"So you said you'd need twice as much energy to make the spell work?" he asked, once again breaking me out of my thoughts.
I nodded slowly. "Yeah. Does Raven happen to have a sister that she doesn't know about? 'Cause there would have to be two of me to generate the amount of power that I need. Can't a girl get a clone around…here…?" My voice faded out as my brain kicked into high gear. A string of excited, unladylike curses came to mind. I had an idea. A great idea.
But not an idea that Robin or the other Titans would go for. It was risky, and yet here I'd just promised them I wouldn't do anything stupid.
It wasn't "stupid," per se. All the same, perhaps it would be better if I didn't mention it to the others.
"Trust me," Robin said, "clones are just a mess that you don't want to get into."
"So I should be careful what I wish for?" I asked with a smile.
"Exactly."