December

Heartened by his prompt report to the Shack and his ability to take care of himself without her help Madam Pomfrey had declared that Remus was now allowed to deal with the full moons on his own, as long as he reported to her immediately if he found he couldn't cope. That said the others weren't so sure that he and Sirius should be on their own for the full moon during the Christmas holidays: they knew the real reason he was doing so well was because he had company, but things had gone wrong before and if they did again it would take more than just Sirius to keep the wolf in check. Still after many promises that he would run for his life and not try and confront a serious pissed-off werewolf on his own if it came to it James and Peter left for the holidays with their families. Sirius had no desire to see his family, although it was doubtful whether they would have accepted him home over Christmas anyway. Remus on the other hand was going to miss his parents this holidays, but with a full moon coming right in the middle of the holidays he felt it would be best for all concerned if he stayed out of the way.

Sirius tried to forget about his parents as much as possible, but he felt himself turning more and more bitter as Christmas day approached, and he found he hated himself for missing them. In order to distract himself he decided to explore every inch of Hogwarts. He was sure there were plenty of secret rooms and passages they hadn't found yet and he was determined to find them all. He took Remus along with him on these excursions, dragging the prefect into every forbidden room and marvelling at the way he could puzzle out some of the passwords and magical locks they found.

As the full moon approached however, Sirius became calmer, letting Remus rest as he needed to. He took to the library for long hours while Remus napped in the common room, drawing out much of what they had found together, but also reading bits and pieces of werewolf lore, till he realised that he knew far more about his friend than the books could tell him. The truth was, though, that he was nervous (he wouldn't have said scared) of the full moon to come. Seeing Remus transform the month before had disturbed him more than he would admit to himself and he thought for a long time about what might cause Remus' change to be so different from his. He didn't feel like he could talk to Remus about it however. Remus was such a private person anyway, but when it came to anything to do with werewolves he would clam up completely, as unresponsive as stone.

The day of the full moon they left the main building early, Sirius following closely behind Remus in the Invisibility Cloak James had graciously left behind. Once they were in the tunnel they could just fit side by side as they walked and Sirius screwed up his courage to talk to Remus about such a touchy subject for him.

"I've been thinking…"

"Wow I'm impressed. Did it hurt?" The smile on his friends face took the sting out of the remark.

Sirius smiled back. "A little, but I think it was worth it." He paused, not sure of how to go on. "I've been thinking…about your transformations…"

Anger glared deep in Remus' eyes, but he kept the rest of his face a careful mask of indifference. Encouraged by not being punched Sirius quickly continued.

"See I was thinking why yours are so hard and ours aren't, and I was thinking…I mean you know that we didn't get to choose what animal we became? It was just the one we have most natural affinity with, yeah? Well what if you weren't supposed to be a wolf?"

Remus growled deep in his throat and they came into the house proper and headed for his room. Sirius took the warning and got to the point.

"Well your body would be fighting it the first couple of times, yeah? But you've been a werewolf for years so I was thinking that it should have got better…except you hate it so much, cos it's painful and stuff and so you fight it. What I'm saying is what if you tried to become a wolf?"

Remus glanced at him in honest consideration as he started to take off his clothes. As an icy draft swept through the ancient house Sirius was glad that his clothes changed when he did.

"You really have been thinking." Remus said with a wide honest smile that made Sirius feel like maybe he wasn't the complete prat he'd always assumed he was. "You better change."

At Remus' command he quickly set his mind to the transformation and felt himself melt slowly into his new shape. His dog eyes made everything seem like an old film, planes of light and shade the only things that picked out Remus' naked form from the rest of the dark room, but to his sense of smell Remus was a solid as ever. No human form could fool his nose and Remus had a scent that said that he was a werewolf as clearly as if he had it tattooed on his forehead and soon enough the transformation started to prove him right. Despite his assurances to his friends he had no intention of leaving if Remus started hurting himself and crouched, ready to spring at the first sign of trouble.

But trouble never came. Aside from the odd cry of pain as a joint realigned itself the transformation was almost as smooth as his own and when it was complete Remus barked in greeting, frolicking shamelessly around Sirius and nipping at his fur in playful thanks. Sirius nipped back and soon they were tumbling round and round the room in play. They chased each other all over the Shack, barking and howling to each other. The mouse family had come back, but Sirius ceded them to Remus, his mind still too human to think of eating mice. Remus gave a flick of the ears that amounted to a shrug, ate them then licked Sirius' face in a long tendril of drool and darting out of the way before Sirius could retaliate.

All too soon the night was over and Remus howled in frustration. Thinking quickly, Sirius kept nudging till they were in Remus' room, complete with mattress and blanket, well aware that he would never be able to carry Remus carefully enough on his own. By that time the change was on him with a vengeance. Sirius got as close to him as he dared, nipping gently at his arms when they went to claw at his body, trying to remind him that he didn't need to fight it and unconsciously whining in sympathy. Finally Remus collapsed onto the mattress, panting and pouring with sweat at the effort it had taken him just to restrain himself. Still in his dog form, Sirius sidled onto the mattress with him and lay down, poking him with his nose. Remus rolled over and clutched desperately at his fur.

"You know it's almost harder not to fight being made to be human…"

Disturbed, but desperately needing to comfort his friend, Sirius was once again human, Remus still clinging tightly to his jumper, shivering. Sirius did a quick Accio blanket and wrapped it round both of them as he began to feel the chill December cold as well. Remus seemed so vulnerable and before he had really thought what he was doing Sirius had his arms around the other boy and murmured meaningless comfort into his soft brown hair till he felt the hands loosen on his shirt and the boy's deep even breathing of sleep. At the unconscious whimper of protest when he tried to leave he settled himself more comfortably next to the taller boy's body, surprised at how they fit together so well, and joined him in sleep feeling safe and warm.