Authors Notes- I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've had a writer's block, and had no idea what to do. So, like the chapter with Rei, I decided to once again take a look at the life of the scouts after Usagi's disappearance. I hope you enjoy the chapter! And be sure to review and give me any ideas of what I should do next. I'd love to hear what you have to say!
And feel free to email me at [1]sirencalling@yahoo.com I love email more than anything, and I'll be sure to answer you!
Enjoy!
**
Ami threw her head in her hands in frustration. She had been trying to study this stupid history book for hours, but she just couldn't seem to take anything she read in. Her mind would keep on wandering away from the topic of the history of the 5^th dynasty, on to something she wished she would never have to think about again.
It was only a week since the funeral of the girl that was not only her leader, but also her best friend. She just couldn't see why Usagi would ever do anything like that. What she had done was so out of character, and shocked everyone who knew her when they found out what had happened.
Ever since she had found out that her friend had decided to end her own life, she couldn't concentrate on anything else. Studying suddenly just didn't see so importance compared to the sacrifice that someone so happy had made. Ami didn't know what had forced Usagi to take such desperate measures, and couldn't stop herself from thinking back to the past couple of months to try to analyze what had gone wrong.
She had known for a long time that Usagi hated being Sailor Moon, and following her destiny, but Ami had long ago come to the conclusion that Usagi had come to terms with her destiny. She might have complained a few times, but she had never been openly depressed. Usagi was just too carefree to be angry with anyone, let alone life.
Not only was she so happy, but she tried so hard to make others around her as happy as she was. It didn't matter if the other person was in a horrible mood, or having the worst day of their life and would do anything to make her go away. She would keep at the person and do anything she could just to turn the person's day around, her included.
*Flashback*
Ami was frantic. Somehow she had fallen behind on her studying, and was now only 5 chapters ahead. She had immediately locked herself in her bedroom, and wouldn't talk to anyone. Then she put the `Do not disturb' sign on her door, and had informed her mother not to let anyone disturb her studying. As she read her science book, she kept on beating herself up over an over again. She had no idea how she could have done anything so irresponsible, and just couldn't get over it. She was beginning to be like Usagi! Next she could be 4 chapters ahead, then 3, and before she could stop herself, she would be behind!
She walls seemed to close in on her as she read as fast as she could, just to catch up. She sun beat on her face from the open window, and the gentle breeze blew her hair into her eyes, obstructing her vision of the words on the paper.
The window seemed to beacon her to the world outside. It would be so easy to just go out on this late summer day, and just have fun. But she had too much control over herself to ever let that happen. Her mind was far to organized to do something as spontaneous as running out that door and just play around all day, doing nothing to enhance her education.
But lucky for her, not everyone was like she was. When she was in the middle of reading about Photosynthesis, she heard a knock on the front door.
Originally she never would have heard someone knocking on the door, since it was so far away. But this person, whoever it was, was very insistent. Ami wouldn't be surprised if this person had broken their hand in the process of the frantic knocking.
Next she heard her mother opening the door, and her silent voice talking to someone outside the door. Ami couldn't hear what they were saying, so she went back to her book and completely forgot the incident for the few seconds before her door was thrown open.
"Ami! What are you doing inside today! It's beautiful outside! I'm sorry, but as your friend, I can't let you waste your life like this!" Usagi practically shouted at her.
Ami quickly put on her angry face, even if she wasn't really. "I'm sorry Usagi, but I can't go outside today. I need to study, so if you could go away, I would really appreciate it." She practically growled, trying to scare her friend away with the fake attitude.
Usagi saw right through that of course; Ami never could hide her true feeling from her best friend. "Listen Ami, I can't take no for an answer. I'm afraid that I can't leave this room, unless I have you with me. And don't try to say anything to the contrary." She then folded her arms, and stood like an unmoving statue.
Ami decided the best thing would be to try to ignore her, and go back to her studying. She tried to read her book, but her eyes just kept on straying back to Usagi, waiting for her to give up and leave her alone.
After about 10 minutes, when Usagi still hadn't done anything but stare in the back of her skull, Ami threw up her hands in frustration and gave up.
"FINE, I'll go with you for today, but you have to promise me that next time I'm studying, you LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Usagi smiled hugely, and said, "I was hoping you would say that! Now, how about we go window shopping at the mall. We'll have so much fun!"
Ami shook her head, smiling slightly and trying to hide it from Usagi. As much as she tried to hide it, she was grateful for Usagi. She was always there when she needed her, and if she couldn't force herself to go outside instead of studying, Usagi would be there to bring her to her senses and force her to live her life like a teenager, and not an obsessing study freak. Sometimes, she could force herself to study for hours, and loose herself in her books, forgetting that being a teenager is more than just school. And here Usagi was, trying to make her live her life, and who knows, it could be fun!
*End Flashback*
And that was the way Usagi always was, trying to take her carefree love of life, and spread it to others around her. That was what made her such a great person, and why everyone loved her so much.
Now, Ami wasn't blind, and she noticed that sometime after they went to the mall, and had a fabulous time, Usagi's mood changed. She became a shadow of her former self, and stopped trying to cheer others up, and when she DID try, it was almost like she didn't care. But Ami just couldn't get the picture of the happy smiling Usagi out of her mind, not until it was too late to help her friend.
And so she went back to studying, like before in the fall, not able to bring herself to leave and go outside, but at the same time knowing that no one would be there to force her to do what she wanted to...live...
Trying to shake away the tears that were beginning to swell in her eyes, Ami went back to her reading.
References
1. mailto:sirencalling@yahoo.com
And feel free to email me at [1]sirencalling@yahoo.com I love email more than anything, and I'll be sure to answer you!
Enjoy!
**
Ami threw her head in her hands in frustration. She had been trying to study this stupid history book for hours, but she just couldn't seem to take anything she read in. Her mind would keep on wandering away from the topic of the history of the 5^th dynasty, on to something she wished she would never have to think about again.
It was only a week since the funeral of the girl that was not only her leader, but also her best friend. She just couldn't see why Usagi would ever do anything like that. What she had done was so out of character, and shocked everyone who knew her when they found out what had happened.
Ever since she had found out that her friend had decided to end her own life, she couldn't concentrate on anything else. Studying suddenly just didn't see so importance compared to the sacrifice that someone so happy had made. Ami didn't know what had forced Usagi to take such desperate measures, and couldn't stop herself from thinking back to the past couple of months to try to analyze what had gone wrong.
She had known for a long time that Usagi hated being Sailor Moon, and following her destiny, but Ami had long ago come to the conclusion that Usagi had come to terms with her destiny. She might have complained a few times, but she had never been openly depressed. Usagi was just too carefree to be angry with anyone, let alone life.
Not only was she so happy, but she tried so hard to make others around her as happy as she was. It didn't matter if the other person was in a horrible mood, or having the worst day of their life and would do anything to make her go away. She would keep at the person and do anything she could just to turn the person's day around, her included.
*Flashback*
Ami was frantic. Somehow she had fallen behind on her studying, and was now only 5 chapters ahead. She had immediately locked herself in her bedroom, and wouldn't talk to anyone. Then she put the `Do not disturb' sign on her door, and had informed her mother not to let anyone disturb her studying. As she read her science book, she kept on beating herself up over an over again. She had no idea how she could have done anything so irresponsible, and just couldn't get over it. She was beginning to be like Usagi! Next she could be 4 chapters ahead, then 3, and before she could stop herself, she would be behind!
She walls seemed to close in on her as she read as fast as she could, just to catch up. She sun beat on her face from the open window, and the gentle breeze blew her hair into her eyes, obstructing her vision of the words on the paper.
The window seemed to beacon her to the world outside. It would be so easy to just go out on this late summer day, and just have fun. But she had too much control over herself to ever let that happen. Her mind was far to organized to do something as spontaneous as running out that door and just play around all day, doing nothing to enhance her education.
But lucky for her, not everyone was like she was. When she was in the middle of reading about Photosynthesis, she heard a knock on the front door.
Originally she never would have heard someone knocking on the door, since it was so far away. But this person, whoever it was, was very insistent. Ami wouldn't be surprised if this person had broken their hand in the process of the frantic knocking.
Next she heard her mother opening the door, and her silent voice talking to someone outside the door. Ami couldn't hear what they were saying, so she went back to her book and completely forgot the incident for the few seconds before her door was thrown open.
"Ami! What are you doing inside today! It's beautiful outside! I'm sorry, but as your friend, I can't let you waste your life like this!" Usagi practically shouted at her.
Ami quickly put on her angry face, even if she wasn't really. "I'm sorry Usagi, but I can't go outside today. I need to study, so if you could go away, I would really appreciate it." She practically growled, trying to scare her friend away with the fake attitude.
Usagi saw right through that of course; Ami never could hide her true feeling from her best friend. "Listen Ami, I can't take no for an answer. I'm afraid that I can't leave this room, unless I have you with me. And don't try to say anything to the contrary." She then folded her arms, and stood like an unmoving statue.
Ami decided the best thing would be to try to ignore her, and go back to her studying. She tried to read her book, but her eyes just kept on straying back to Usagi, waiting for her to give up and leave her alone.
After about 10 minutes, when Usagi still hadn't done anything but stare in the back of her skull, Ami threw up her hands in frustration and gave up.
"FINE, I'll go with you for today, but you have to promise me that next time I'm studying, you LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Usagi smiled hugely, and said, "I was hoping you would say that! Now, how about we go window shopping at the mall. We'll have so much fun!"
Ami shook her head, smiling slightly and trying to hide it from Usagi. As much as she tried to hide it, she was grateful for Usagi. She was always there when she needed her, and if she couldn't force herself to go outside instead of studying, Usagi would be there to bring her to her senses and force her to live her life like a teenager, and not an obsessing study freak. Sometimes, she could force herself to study for hours, and loose herself in her books, forgetting that being a teenager is more than just school. And here Usagi was, trying to make her live her life, and who knows, it could be fun!
*End Flashback*
And that was the way Usagi always was, trying to take her carefree love of life, and spread it to others around her. That was what made her such a great person, and why everyone loved her so much.
Now, Ami wasn't blind, and she noticed that sometime after they went to the mall, and had a fabulous time, Usagi's mood changed. She became a shadow of her former self, and stopped trying to cheer others up, and when she DID try, it was almost like she didn't care. But Ami just couldn't get the picture of the happy smiling Usagi out of her mind, not until it was too late to help her friend.
And so she went back to studying, like before in the fall, not able to bring herself to leave and go outside, but at the same time knowing that no one would be there to force her to do what she wanted to...live...
Trying to shake away the tears that were beginning to swell in her eyes, Ami went back to her reading.
References
1. mailto:sirencalling@yahoo.com