Her blue eyes fiercely scanned the chart over and over again. She swallowed back the heaviness that threatened to overtake her. Shakily, she flipped the page. The words penetrated her mind with a heartbreaking truth that not even Scully could deny. He was dying. "A un-diagnosable brain disease attacking the temporal lobe, which is in all respects terminal."

Sharply inhaling a short gasp, she turned to look up. No one was in the halls. Scully glanced back down at the file. Hurt filled her heart; a heaviness that threatened to pull her down. Down into her own depths of depression, something she thought she had overcome years ago. Mulder was sick and he was keeping it from her. All degrees of anger coursed through her as she lifelessly held the papers as though they held a secret that intended to mock her till the day she died. He had ditched her again. Even after seven years, the bastard still kept what she felt was most important away from her at all costs. Hadn't she earned a place yet? Hadn't they crossed the line? Sex wasn't enough to reign in Mulder's constant darkness that he persisted in hiding? Hearing footsteps in the hall, Scully quickly placed the file in her coat and walked out towards the stairs.

Byers looked at the file as Scully slammed it down on the desk.

"What are we looking at?" Frohike asked as Byers reached for the file.

Scully motioned to the file as she crossed her arms in frustration.

As he read it, Byers looked up at her in confusion, "Is this a joke?"

Tears stung at her eyes, she pulled her mouth tight as she turned away. A shrouded truth plunged down on the men as they looked over the file.

"When? How?"

"He's been hiding it from me." She softly cried as her voice cracked, "I found it by accident. Why wouldn't he tell me?"

The three men looked solemnly at the file together, saying nothing, knowing that no words would mend what was now broken inside of her for the rest of her life no matter how much forgiving she did. She wiped at her face in desperation before clearing her throat. Pointing at the file, she spoke with a revered eloquence, "I need to get in... I need his blood work."

The men nodded in union.

Scully walked down the halls of the hospital decked out in a white coat and a badge with a security clearance, complements of the lone gunmen of course. Making no eye contact with anyone, she walked towards the security door. Even if Mulder didn't want her help she was going to give it to him anyway. There was in no way she would let the bastard die before she would spawn her wrath on him and kill him herself. As she came to the door, she looked around before swiping the card. The light went green. She pushed on the door violently and whisked in before anyone saw her. She walked by rows and rows of file cabinets. She made her way where there were fridges lined against the wall. Reading the names alphabetically, she found Mulder's vials. Pocketing one she left the room with no hesitation.

Scully sat at Mulder's desk, staring vacantly out into nothingness. Blinking, she turned her eyes to the clock; seven o' eight. What would she say to him this bright and early Monday morning? Could she reveal what she'd found? Maybe she should wait until after she studied his blood. To determine if maybe she would able to find a cure. There had to be one, didn't there? After all he had found one for hers. She had survived, when all hope had been lost to her. Mulder had never given up on her and why would she now give up on him? Even if her anger stayed, she knew no amount could keep her from loving him. There she said it. She loved him, only the problem was, she said it to herself. When would she get the courage to stand on her own two feet and confess what she only just begun to understand? Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard Mulder click open the office door.

"Hey Scully, how was your weekend?" He smiled at her as he took his jacket off.

Trying to smile back, she lied, "Fine." How could he just stand there feigning his happiness when he knew the inevitable?

The day went in all normal-ness. All words the two of them spoke were in a grand facade that covered what they both were thinking about. Her about his illness and his about her impending speech over the events of the weeks before. As the day filtered to an uninviting end, Mulder cleared his throat, "Uh, look Scully, I know what your preoccupied with and I am ready to talk, just as I promised."

She gave him a look, which he took as she was ready too when in all actualities she was dreading the talk now realizing she no longer cared what had transpired between them. In fact she was more than glad it had happened considering that he might not be there much longer. It was overshadowing by a greater precedence.

"Meet me at my place tonight, say around seven?"

She nodded in absolution. He smiled softly as he left.

Taking short shallow breaths, Scully knocked at Mulder's door softly. A brief muffled "come in" was heard from the other side. She slowly entered, "Mulder?"

"Hey Scully, I ordered Chinese. Hope your in the mood." He cracked a sincere smile as he ushered her in.

"Thanks Mulder," was all she could muster. She made her way to the couch, wondering. Wondering how they become so distant in so short a time? How could two people who could practically finish each other's sentence, albeit her answers for his would be a bit off, could look at each other for even a moment and feel as though they were looking at a complete stranger. The tension was thick and languid. Mulder came and sat down next to her.

Complete and utter confusion raced between the two as they sat in silence. What was happening to them? Could any of this ever come to a happy ending?

"So Scully, you wanted to talk?" He finally spoke after moments of awkward silence.

"Uh, yeah I did Mulder." She brought herself out of her trance of doubtlessness and looked at him. What the hell? What did she honestly have to lose? She already knew his truths without his knowledge of course. Here goes nothing.

"Ah, look Mulder, things have been tense, to be polite."

He nodded slowly as though taking in every word.

"And to be completely honest, I wish everything was the way it was before."

"Before?" He asked in a confused way.

"Before all of this; before the sex, before Alabama," She took a deep pause, "Before Diana."

"Diana?"

"Mulder it's been different, you can't deny that. I must say, vulnerability hit me hard when she came back into your life. And even now when she is gone, I still feel the jealousy harboring in me. It's as though were strangers all over again and I hate this."

Mulder just kept quiet.

"I just want everything to be the same again. I don't like feeling like I'm treading on hot coals. I just want you...back..."

"What exactly are you trying to imply to me Scully?"

"I know we can't undo what's in the past but..."

"You want to pretend it never happened. Is that it?" He interrupted with a hint of anger.

"No, not at all. You misunderstand me Mulder. I've been thinking about it lately and I think we need to open ourselves to each other more. We need to be completely honest."

She fished out there hoping for some clarity.

He smiled, "Are you being honest with me Scully? You made it clear what you thought our activities were about and I told you that was not the case so what do you think now?"

"Honestly? That I'm scared. I'm afraid of what happens now. I mean where do we go from here? What happens in the months to come?" She asked pleading with her eyes for him to tell her.

"We keep going. Just like we always have. We fight. Together." He stated.

"Just like that Mulder? We just continue on?"

"What were you hoping for?"

"I don't know, honestly. I guess I was just hoping for something more than that."

"I'm sorry I can't give you more Scully. I just am confused as to what we are. I mean I know that it wasn't you in bed with me but at the same time it was you. I meant every word I told you. I wanted you. I still want you but your scaring me with all this talk of what we have to become. I don't mean it in a dine and ditch kind of way, I just mean this isn't exactly my forte so I'm at a loss as to what we do now." He took her hand.

'All these years have been killing me inside. Looking at you and being so close and yet not close enough to be with you. When I found my chance, I took it knowing the consequences would be fatal to my health."

A muffled sob escaped past her throat.

"Hey, what's really bothering you?"

She just shook her head, "I can't say Mulder. It's hard to find any words to explain what's happening to us."

"Maybe it's not meant for words." Mulder leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. She hesitated a bit before letting his mouth completely envelop hers. He moved his hand to her shoulder. She opened her mouth a bit letting his tongue find its entry. As she tasted his velvety softness, she moaned ever so slightly. Her hand wrapped around his back, clutching at his shirt. He grazed her jawbone lightly with his fingertips. She ran her fingers through his hair as he moved down from her lips to her neck. He tenderly suckled at her throat.

Scully lustfully groaned as Mulder tasted her sweet, smooth skin. He maneuvered his way back to her inviting lips. She suckled his lips sending shivers through his body. Not being able to contain himself he slowly moved a bit more on top of her. She could feel his hardness push at her thigh as he moved closer. Her senses felt alive and wanting. As he moved his hand down to her blouse he unbuttoned it slowly finding his way in her shirt. His touch was electric. Tracing the scallops of her lace bra he thumbed his way in. Slowly, he tickled at her breast leaving them swollen. In a throaty whisper, Mulder spoke, "Scully tell me to stop before it's too late."

"No Mulder, this time I'm ready. I want this." She groaned through his kisses, although in a small part of her brain, she was telling herself to say no. That she was diving in head first and all of the water around her would consume her. He was still keeping his secrets from her and she should scold him for that but at that moment nothing else mattered except that she find her solace in Mulder's arms. That she fill the void that seven years of love only soulmates could share. After all it could be there last time.

Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes and all emotions took over, sending her into a sobbing mess as Mulder pulled away, eyeing her cautiously.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he brushed back her dampened crimson locks, "Hey we don't have to do this. It's okay."

She shook her head as tears streamed down her face, "It's not that, I do want this."

"Talk to me Scully. What's wrong?"

She suddenly knocked his arms away from her and wiped her tears away, "Nothing, I'm fine."

He grabbed her firmly by the shoulders, "No your not. Don't lie to me Scully."

At his words, she broke into a fit of sobs.

Completely unaware of her thoughts, Mulder just grabbed her tightly and hugged her.

She cried for what seemed like hours. She clung to him as though there were no tomorrow. He only rocked her slowly as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Mulder, promise me that you won't give up, no matter what." She finally whispered in a barely audible voice.

He pulled back, trying to read her eyes, "Scully?"

She shook her head as she stood up. He followed her up and chased her into the bedroom.

"Scully what is this about?" He pleaded.

Knowing she couldn't hide it anymore, she threw her hands up in exasperation, "Why didn't you tell me Mulder!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, not knowing what she meant but knowing it was bad, "Tell you what?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were...sick?" She barely spoke the last word.

His heart sunk immediately and he rushed to her side as she fell to the floor. He wrapped his arms around her but fought back.

"No, Mulder! Tell me why!"

He stopped and sat next to her, "Because of this." He motioned to her.

She furrowed her brow as she stopped fussing for a moment.

"To protect you, Dana." He sighed heavily, "I didn't want you to suffer. Like you are now."

She shook her head again, "Not good enough Mulder! You would have led me to believe you were okay to the very end! I would have hated you!" She spat.

His head fell instinctively, "I know you would have but it was worth the risk rather than having to watch you watch me die. This is my problem not yours."

"Your wrong Mulder, this is my problem too." She reached up for his face. "I love you."

TBC...

A/N: Oh the angst! I love it! Sorry if it's torture for you guys but I can't help it. I love toying with my favorite agents. Anyway, thanks so much for all the reviews and kinds words! They're encouraging to say the least. I am overwhelmed at how many of you think I have embodied the characters so well which in all respects make me feel to freaking happy with myself. So keep on enjoying and be warned now, this story is heading into the dark Myth Arc! Yeah! So get ready for some action and some more loving of course.

Mandy