Painting the Stars
written by mtgranola
Author's Note 12/5/2005: re-edited as I caught some errors that were really confusing the story. Chapter six will be out soon, and currently half-way through Chapter 3 of Guiding Light! So please be patient, I'm working as hard on my stories as much as my job and my schooling allows!
Disclaimer: I'm just 'borrowing' the Kenshingumi for awhile, so please don't sue! And I may own several dictionaries (three French-English, one Japanese-English, two Italian-English, one German-English, one Gaelic-English, and one ordinary English dictionary but none of them are Merriam-Webster) but I do not own the rights to Merriam-Webster Dictionaries, I just use them a whole lot, especially their thesauruses.
Warning: Extreme OCCness, I didn't think that I would have to do this since it is an AU fic, but apparently I do. I'm merely playing with Watsuki-san's characters so of course they aren't going to be cannon.
Dedication: I am dedicating this chapter to Mrs. Angela Nagengast, my AP English teacher in high school who passed away at the age of 59 on July 25, 2005. If it wasn't for her love of literature, poetry, and philosophy I don't think that I'd be half the person I am today. She passed on her loves to the students that were blessed to have her come into their life, even if it were for only 180 days out of one year. There were many times over the past six years when I have thought about her, many times when I was going to go visit or even mail a letter, but unfortunately my procrastinating ass (sorry Mrs. Nagengast you never did rid me of that one trait) never did. Now I can't, and I regret it, and I don't regret much that I have done or didn't do in this lifetime. You can thank her for all of the large words in my vocabulary because she was the first teacher to treat me as a person with a learning disability and not as someone who was stupid. If it weren't for her, these fanfictions of mine would probably not exist.
She shared her wisdom and her light while she walked on this earth, I feel fortunate for having knowing her. I feel blessed because she cared. She opened brand new doors into the literary world that I never thought of seeking, she showed me the beauty of Plath's poetry and Shakespeare's prose, she made me think for myself using Philosophy as my guide. She encouraged me to stretch beyond my limits for something better…. I can never thank her enough for what she did for me, but I hope she knows how much she meant to her other students and I. (You can even thank her for my proper English)
More luminous than the stars while on this earth, she is now apart of those stars…. Smoking a carton of Marlboros and reading Kafka.
Chapter Three:
Happiness depends on ourselves.
Aristotle
I sat staring into my coffee, feeling way too over dressed to be sitting in this twenty-four hour diner. I'm not too sure why I agreed to come with Misao to this place, their coffee tastes like crap and I have to pour half the sugar container in this evil brew just to make it even somewhat appealing…or drinkable for that matter.
I make a face after the first sip. Mind you, I did say somewhat appealing.
At least my genki little friend didn't put up too much of an argument when I demanded to be put in the smoking section. She's such a health nut, really. I mean I try to keep up with my kendo practice and stuff but life…and what I mean by that is my art…constantly distracts me from what I'm supposed to be doing. You know the whole quitting smoking and eating organic foods and not living off of a constant caffeine and nicotine high.
Kind of like how the memory of Himura-san's eyes are distracting me right now.
I would love to paint those eyes.
Ack! Kaoru! Just what the hell is your problem anyways?
I never realized just how easy it was to ignore Misao while she went on one of her Aoshi-sama rants. All you really had to do was smile and nod and make one syllable responses whenever she paused to take a breath. I should feel bad about it, she is one of my best friends after all, but it is rather depressing to her of her great love for an icicle of a man.
I remember being in love once, back in college. It was a remarkable feeling, a new feeling. It inspired art and poetry to flow from my hand. The relationship lasted for two years until I discovered him fooling around with another girl at a party that we all went to. I berated myself for months, telling myself I should have seen the signs…but truly love blinds us to the faults of those we fall in love with. And maybe that's more true for artists because we see the world through different eyes than everybody else….
But our breakup caused another surge of inspiration for me as well. I honestly think I painted some of my best works at the time. Very dark and emotional. Bleeding with a need that I still can't quite place my finger on….
My poetry went that way as well, still does on occasion. Misao helps me write music for the really good ones so that I can play them at open mic night. But lately I've been feeling a bit of a writer's block when it comes to poetry. I really need a change in my pace and find a new inspiration.
I sigh and stare wistfully into my coffee, wondering when it would be polite to excuse myself to leave. Of course, Misao may not buy the excuse that I'm tired, she knows my hours too well.
I imagine a pair of violet eyes looking at me and I want to bang my head against the table. Maybe I should…. On second thought, we're already getting too many looks as it is because of Misao's rather dramatically loud speech on how Aoshi is the perfect man.
I snort. No man is perfect. I learned that all too well with Enishi.
And I definitely do NOT need a complication in my life like Himura-san. And why the hell am I thinking about him anyways? It's not like a handsome man like him would look twice at a starving artist like myself. And why would I want him to? Argh! Seriously gonna have to consider getting a lobotomy…or a memory purge or something to that effect….
Logical business oriented minds do not get along well with flighty creative minds like mine. It was proven in a scientific study, I'm sure of it. On top of that, he's probably had so many women he'd be like that skit I saw on a comedy show once where James Bond had to call up all the women he slept with because he had numerous sexually transmitted and potentially life-ending diseases…. One of which he could have only gotten if he had slept with a shark….
Ewwww.
But still, he's got gorgeous violet eyes….
&&&&&&&
I really wasn't happy. I mean really, really unhappy. You know those days where you just wanna buy something really expensive and smash it with a hammer? Okay, maybe you don't get those days….
I'm half tempted to throw this canvas out the window right now and watch it shatter into a million pieces on the sidewalk. That would be very, very satisfying at the moment…. Rather spectacular too, when you consider I live on the sixth floor.
I sighed and shook my head. Memories of helping a friend move popping into my mind during my potentially destructive thoughts. This friend of mine, who shall remain nameless for both his safety and mine, had a penchant for stealing signs. And not just any signs, mind you, but big burly signs preferably with the metal sign post still intact….
This particular idiot did not want his building super to see him hauling down highly illegal street signs into the awaiting moving van. So he decided that he was going to remove them from his fourth storey apartment via the windows.
I still say he was just being lazy, but I learned that gravity really does work on that day. The mile marker 76, sign post and all went flying out the window and nearly hit some innocent bystanders in the process. I think that he had acquired this sign after a night of drinking and then driving around outside of town with another dipshit friend of mine. We all learned the next day that it takes three precise hits with a '78 Ford Crown Victoria to topple a mile marker sign. It's probably a very bad thing that I know this.
Apparently, throwing a sign with a possibly deadly post from the window creates some kind of inertia that I don't understand, (I never was any good at science anyways). And the poor defenseless sign lodged itself into the side lawn of the apartment complex just far enough as to make it impossible to pull it back out again.
In all probability I believe that my friend had just tossed one of the world's largest lawn darts, which is a sport that has been banned in most countries, out the window.
My friend got evicted from his apartment that day, ironic that the process of him moving out is what got him evicted.
The sign was still there, highly out of place, the last time I checked. Some sort of monument to stupidity I suppose.
But anyways, the reason that I am currently thinking of ways to burn, maim, and/or slash this piece of work is that I can't get a certain red headed, violet eyed playboy out of my head…. I haven't seen him since the show two days ago when I saw him leave with a blonde who was wearing something with so little fabric it couldn't possibly considered appropriate or a dress. And the fact that I haven't seen him is a fact that I am deliriously happy over, but I CAN'T GET THE BASTARD OUT OF MY HEAD!
My muses can be cruel creatures when they want to be.
Damn Himura Kenshin and his high sex appeal. Argh! No! Will. Not. Think. Of . Men. With. Purple. Eyes!
Keep on chanting that mantra, Kaoru, and you may just make it through this day yet.
&&&&&&
"You know, 'kismet' is a funny word…." I started off, staring into space.
Slow day at work, no happy hour. No overly caffeinated teenagers bopping in after their six odd-some hours locked away in a stuffy high school to grate on my nerves. Only me and my trusty genki side-kick Misao. Maybe I shouldn't have added that fourth shot of expresso into her mocha.
"Is 'kismet' even in the dictionary.? Or for that matter is it an actual word? Or is it like 'supercalifragilisticexpealadious' being in that it is a totally nonsensical word?"
"No, I'm pretty sure it's an actual word, not English though. Probably Arabic or something, it sounds like a swear word that you would find yourself saying in Egypt."
"That sounds plausible." Misao responded with a slurp from her cup and a shrug of her shoulders.
"Kismet, kismet, kismet, kismet…."
"Uh, Kaoru?"
"Yes?"
"You're insane, you know that?"
"Yep." I replied with a somewhat lopsided smile, "Just waiting for the nice men in the white coats to come and take me away to my nice soft padded room."
"Sheesh, Jou-chan, I always knew that artists were a little on the mentally unstable side but truly I had no idea that you were funny farm fodder."
Ah, my favorite rooster/big brother/annoying as all hell friend is here and…shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He just had to bring along my life's current torment didn't he?
I just rolled my eyes as I pushed away from the counter, "As usual tori-atama, your perception for the obvious never ceases to a amaze me." I said dryly before putting on my brightest
'hostess' smile and went over to the expresso machine. "What can I get for you gents today?"
"What do you suggest Jou-chan?"
I could see him visibly gulp in reaction to my evil grin. Oh, life was sweet sometimes.
"My favorite is a triple shot banana cappuccino. But recently I've become fond of quad shot caramel and peach mochas."
Fruit flavoring and coffee you ask? Why yes, if only to completely confuse my companions. Actually, it started out as banana Italian sodas back in high school, but then I graduated into heavy duty coffee. And banana and dark roasted expresso really tastes good. I mean really, really good. As in they are my addiction and the sole reason why I have a cappuccino machine in my apartment.
"That's okay…" he said warily, "How about a quad mocha with extra chocolate?"
"Whoa, living dangerously there aren't we, Sano? Sugar and caffeine overload…."
"It's been a long day, Jou-chan…."
"And what can I get for you Himura-san?" I asked over my shoulder as I prepared Sano's cup o' doom.
"An Iced Chai would be nice."
"Okay… Would you like regular, Black Spice, Chocolate, Green Tea or Raspberry?"
"Don't get the Raspberry, Kenshin." Sano mocked whispered, "It's redefined 'nasty' in the dictionary!"
"Really? I thought that was the Green Tea one." Of course, Misao had to put in her two cents…loudly and slightly shrieking while she was doing it. "What's the one that you like to drink, Kaoru? You know, the one that reminds you of a pumpkin pie?"
"Oh, that? That's Black Spice."
"Black Spice would be fine then." Himura-san finely broke in.
Poor man, I don't think he quite knew what he was getting into when he happened to walk into this particular coffee house that was already inhabited by one genki itachi and one moody tanuki with one tori-atama. All on a caffeine high. He obviously did not take his mental health into consideration by associating with any of us. Although I may question his sanity for hanging out regularly with Sano in any way, shape, or form. That is due to cause anyone to lose a few brain cells at the very least.
"Okay, then. I'll bring them out in just a sec…."
I turned back to the task at hand, somehow gracefully grabbing the things that I needed without spilling them all over Tae's nice floors and proceeded to do…whatever baristas do: make coffee.
"So are we going to continue the conversation about the validity of the word 'kismet' in the English language or shall we move on to something else?"
"I am not listening to you rave about your Aoshi-sama at work, Misao." I growled.
"Hey, at least I try."
"Tori-atama!" I called over the counter.
"What?"
"Do you know if the word 'kismet' is an actual word? Like as in if it is considered a word enough to be included in Webster's Dictionary? And if you do know if it can be found in a dictionary, what is it's exact definition?"
A dumbfounded look crossed the rooster's face for a moment. "Naw, why? It sounds like a swear word that you'd say in Egypt or something…."
&&&&&&
After repairing Sano's much damaged ego after Misao and I laughed our asses off, no, not literally, (amusing as it would be) and remaking the quad extra chocolate mocha I had spilled on the floor during my mirth we got 'educated' by none other than Himura Kenshin himself.
Mou! He's good looking and he's smart, can the man get anymore infuriating!
Apparently, 'kismet' is a taken from a Turkish word that I can no longer remember, but it's a noun and it can mean a) portion, lot and/or b) fate.
I still like the idea of it being an Egyptian swear word better. Damn the man for crushing my childish dreams!
On top of that, I learned that a goldfish has a memory of three seconds. Aren't I just the plethora of useless information today? Our abstract conversations pulling out somewhat traumatic, albeit interesting, memories of other conversations over coffee dealing with various culinary traditions around the world. I, for one, previous to these conversations had no idea what koribouto pork was or that barbecue originated with cannibals in South America. Again my brain has been filled with information I'll probably always remember because it's so…so odd, but never used in intellectual conversations. Unless I'm at a five star restaurant or a pet store, maybe a dictionary convention, or some dire situation in Cairo that requires my definition of an Egyptian swear word….
Ah yes, I can imagine the headlines well: Japanese Artist Kamiya Kaoru Arrested in Egypt Due to Screaming 'Kismet' at Taxi Driver. Rumors Say That Kamiya may be Slightly Insane….
And yes, I am particularly fond of rambling. Just ask Misao or Megumi, they've had to listen to my diatribes more than once.
"You know, 'ennui' is a funny word too…."
"Stop, Kaoru." Misao said, holding her hand up. "My brain's still fried after the 'kismet' discussion. What is it with you and out-of-the-ordinary vocab words anyways?"
"I'm just curious."
"You know, Jou-chan, curiosity killed the cat." Sano spoke up from the table where he and Himura were deep in low-tones conversation.
"You're still here, tori-atama? Why I never knew you had such a witty repertoire." I threw back, "And there is nothing wrong with being curious, I just like to…well, know."
"That was certainly an intelligent comeback, Kaoru." Misao said dryly.
"It's true! There's nothing wrong with wanting to learn extra-credit vocab words even though the usage's for having extra-credit is no longer a viable excuse." I argued.
"Suuuuuree."
"Would you rather I bothered you with inane conversation everyday?" I asked her. "Or would you like to talk about the weather or something equally as boring?" I paused to think if I truly wanted to know the answer to that, and I realized that I didn't and I said as much. "Wait, don't answer that…."
"Mou! Kaoru!"
"Just because you enjoy talking endlessly about Mr. Icicle aka Shinomori Aoshi, doesn't mean that the rest of the free world does, Misao."
She stuck her tongue out at me, the usual response I get for teasing her about her Aoshi-sama.
"So when are you going to find someone, Kaoru? I mean it's been quite a few years…."
I rolled my eyes, I shouldn't have said anything. Damnit Kaoru, why can't you keep your big mouth shut?
"Don't go there!" I warned my friend. "I really don't need a man in my life. They complicate things too much."
"But Kaoru…"
"No buts about it, Weasel girl. So don't go and get any ideas in that pretty little head of yours."
"But you haven't dated anyone since Enishi…."
"Don't, Misao. This is no longer up for discussion." I turned away from her so she could see the pain that name brought to me and started to wash mugs in the sink, "But if you want to continue the discussion about the word 'ennui' I'd be happy to oblige."
Good thing that I had my back turned because then I couldn't see the interesting smirk that crossed Himura-san's face over this new information that Misao had unwittingly spilled.
Because I really, really wouldn't have liked the connotations behind that look.
"Use it in a sentence."
"If I am uncertain as to what 'ennui' means, why do you think that it's possible for me to put said word into a sentence?"
"You know, I have no clue."
"Ennui comes from the Old French enui which means 'annoyance', and from the French enuier which means 'to annoy.' In other words it basically is used in English as 'a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction. Or to put it more plainly, boredom."
I felt my jaw drop and I blinked once, twice at the violet-eyed man who just interrupted our conversation.
"What are you anyways? Some sort of walking dictionary?" I asked him.
He just winked and smirked at me, "No, I just happen to be well educated."
I like to think that I'm well educated, besides the fact I nearly failed most of the right-brained classes that I had to take during school, i.e.: anything having to go with math and/or science or anything that requires a student to think logically. Actually, the only time I got high marks in English was when I didn't have to dissect sentences or come up with the proper terms for words in a sentence, like what a verb or an adjective is. Hey, maybe I should ask Himura…. What the hell am I thinking? Damn intelligent red heads….
"Are you insinuating that we are not?"
"No."
"Okay then." Internally I winced, what a lame comeback.
Seriously, the guy has me stumped. I don't like feeling like this at all. I'm speechless and confused and I have no idea of what to do in a situation such as the one before me. I think I blinked a couple of times more, cocked my head and then went back to doing whatever I could find behind the counter that could be considered productive.
Can anyone say awkward moment? Think, Kaoru, think. What utterly useless piece of information do you know that can get you out of this situation without looking like a complete idiot?
"So…did you know that it's impossible to lick your elbow…?"
&&&&&&&&
"You know, Sano, that no matter how many times you try, you are not going to be able to lick your elbow." Said an exasperated Kenshin as they left the coffeehouse. He was beginning to think that the cute little barista/artist had said that just so Sano could annoy him for the rest of the afternoon.
"Just because it was said to be impossible doesn't necessarily mean that it is!" Sano argued, "I'm sure that someone has at least managed to do it once!"
The red head sighed and shook his head as he got into his vehicle. There wasn't any point in arguing with the baka anyways, Sano was almost as stubborn as he was.
"So…." He started as he backed the car up and left the parking lot. "Do you know anything about this Enishi character that weasel girl was talking about?"
Sano frowned, a dark look passing over his face. "Kaoru doesn't like to talk about him, but occasionally he's brought up by either Weasel girl or Kitsune so I don't know much. I know that she dated him for a couple of years in college and had a bad break up or something like that. But there was something else about him and Jou-chan that the girl's pointedly avoid when they do discuss the topic. Respect her privacy Kenshin, there's obviously a reason why she doesn't like to talk about him. You and I were not meant to know."
Kenshin frowned, his eyes slowly turning into molten pools of amber, apparently the young woman had had some bad experiences in the past in regards to relationships. That could be a problem when he decided to start pursuing her….
&&&&&&
"So, Kaoru, what did you think of that red head hottie that was in here with Sano?" Misao said slyly and I gulped. Damn inquisitive itachis….
"He's a guy who came in here for something to drink with tori-atama." I shrugged, "What else would I think?"
"I think that you were checking him out, that's what." I didn't like the smile that came to Misao's face at that moment, "And I also saw you blushhh-innng. Not only that but you were pointedly avoiding any eye contact with him what-so-ever. Those are the classic signs that Kamiya Kaoru, Miss Tanuki herself is interested…!"
"So I checked him out!" I grumbled, "There's nothing wrong with that. It's not like anything is going to come of it or anything. Besides, he's playboy material, not someone I'd want to get to know any better anyways."
I don't know if I was flushed from anger, annoyance, or embarrassment because of Misao's observations. I love her like a sister, she's my best friend in the whole world, but sometimes I have to question my sanity about ever befriending her in the first place.
"But maybe you're the one who can make him change all his lecherous ways! You can fall in love, have a beautiful wedding, and have 2.5 children…."
"Tell me, Misao, doesn't that sound overly romantic and horribly…" I shuddered at the thought of what I was going to say next. "normal?"
"You say it as if romance and normality was a bad thing, Kaoru." Misao pouted.
"That's because they are!" I almost shrieked. "I don't want to become some simpering woman who fawns over a bouquet of roses. I am an independent woman who can take care of herself. I have no intention of furthering my genetic line or getting married in some highly overdone affair wearing a white dress and all that jazz!"
"Have you ever thought that maybe you should do it because it'd be highly unorthodox for you?"
Shit. That stumped me. She had a point, mind you, but I didn't like the point that she was making. And just what is it about people stumping me today anyways? First Himura-san and then my ever-faithful friend. I sighed loudly in annoyance, this has certainly proven to be a long day.
"Just because it would be a crazily 'normal' thing for me to do, which is something that I am not noted for, doesn't mean that I have any intentions of going through with something like that. Ever."
"Ever?" She asked, I didn't really like the playful tone in her voice.
"Never ever." I growled back at her and turned my attentions towards my new customers, thankful for the distraction. Any more talk like this would drive me to a bar and make me drink away my troubles for the night.
&&&&&&&
end chapter three.
How many of you actually tried to lick your elbow? Statistics say that at least 75 percent of you did!
Reviewer Responses:
Snow Leopard: Thank you for enjoying my story, I hope you like this chapter just as much!
blood wyngs: I've seen 'mou' used by other female characters in fanfictions, like Yui and Miaka from Fushigi Yuugi and Kagome from InuYasha…. shrugs I just dunno. Kenshin in 'play boy' mode has to play with poor Kaoru for a bit…it's like some unwritten law or something. Just so you know, this is totally fly by the seat of my pants writing, completely random and letting my muses lead me where they want to go, so I'll only know a couple of days before you know.
Firalyn Tiatra: I am honored that you are addicted to my story! And I am also extremely flattered that you liked my poetry! I hope you continue to enjoy my fic.
Khmer Moon Blossoms: There'll be more K&K action coming up next chappie, they're kinda dancing around each other a moment, both attracted to each other but only one really wants to push in the direction of impending relationship-hood. That is not to be found in any dictionary, I think I made it up myself sweatdrops I actually do that quite a bit….
Lathayan: Thank you for reading my fic, I hope you continue to enjoy my story!
Bradybunch4529: Thank you for taking a look at my fic! I will try to update but my muse tends to be as unreliable as I am when it comes to punctuality….