Painting the Stars
written by mtgranola
Author's Note 12/5/2005: re-edited as I caught some errors that were really confusing the story. Chapter six will be out soon, and currently half-way through Chapter 3 of Guiding Light! So please be patient, I'm working as hard on my stories as much as my job and my schooling allows!
Disclaimer: I'm just 'borrowing' the Kenshingumi for awhile, so please don't sue! And I totally own the reference to the 'goddess of death for the overly sensitive pink bunnies' I think it's funny, and if you don't then you have never entered the realms of the 'heero and duo-esque' conversations that I constantly have with my best friend. (she's convinced that I'm the 'duo'…something to do with the happy-go-lucky personality I tend to have…. fidgets under everybody's contemplative gaze I know nothing!) To Belinda: I can so be a God of Death! Even if I am a little skittish, squeamish…chicken shit…. Damn, I'm not building up a very good argument there am I?
Warning: Extreme OCCness, I didn't think that I would have to do this since it is an AU fic, but apparently I do. I'm merely playing with Watsuki-san's characters so of course they aren't going to be cannon. And all the weirdness and odd conversations in this story can be often contributed to an over-consumption of caffeine.
Author's Note: (screw the rules! This is blatant self advertising!) be sure and check out my new oneshot: Conversations with Hiko, and tell me what you think!
Chapter Four:
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Four packets of sugar; three things of fake French Vanilla creamer; take the spoon and stir…. There's a science to adding things to your coffee, too little doesn't cover the burnt restaurant flavor, too much and it's spilling over the edges of the cup. I like the thickness of the creamer, and the way it sticks in my mouth, not too mention it's very pungent flavor even though for all intents and purposes, it is a very fake product. But the coffee here is cheap, and the serve good creamer so who am I to complain?
I've spent way too much time sitting here drinking coffee if I have created a fine art out of it.
"You need to find yourself a man, Kaoru."
"How many times have we been through this Misao? Seriously, I have no need nor want for any man."
"Oh…?" I didn't like the sly look that itachi girl was giving me at that moment. "So perhaps a woman then?"
I choked on my coffee, and managed to create an interesting spray laid out on the table. The waitress would not appreciate cleaning that up.
"MISAO!"
"What?" she says innocently, blinking her large jade colored eyes at me, "If you aren't interested in men at all, then you must be interested in other women, right? I mean, all those nude drawings you do and…."
"Listen, itachi. Just because I happen to think a woman's body is beautiful doesn't mean that I fantasize over them!"
"You refuse to go out with that cute Soujiro guy, no matter how many times he asks you…" she pointed out before taking a long slurp of her chocolate milkshake.
"Mr. Smiley? Are you crazy? It's not normal for someone to smile like that all the time, it's like he's on a permanent drug trip or something…. Besides, even if it's not drugs, and he is just naturally happy all of the time, do you honestly think that my angsty, irrational, and slightly insane artistic persona would be able to deal with that?"
Misao blinked a couple more times at that, processing the possible outcomes of that situation, "Err, yeah…. I hate to admit it, but you're probably right about that one."
The table fell into companionable silence once again, or actually I wish it would have. I generally tune out when Misao starts her lengthy "Why Shinomori Aoshi, the miraculous living Block of Ice, is the perfect man" speech. Gag me, please. I really am sick of the dream that is love. You know, that perfect movie romance, man meets girl, they fall in love and make beautiful music together type of scenario.
Yuck. Like that ever really happens. But at least while I'm concentrating on ignoring Misao, I'm also managing to ignore the table full of tittering high school girls a few seats behind us.
Okay, so I'm a little pessimistic about the whole love thing. But who can blame me? I was a hopeless, besotted fool, believing in the lies that were in every movie, every novel, and every magazine I had ever seen or read. I became what I hate the most: a stupid, simpering woman. I gave up everything just because the guy I though I loved asked me to, and then what happens?
Cheating.
Lying.
Abuse.
Not to mention a whole slew of financial problems because he took out credit cards in my name without me knowing it. Those plagued me through college as I was trying to convince the credit bureaus that there was no way in hell that I, as unemployed college student, had no way of taking out credit cards.
Oh yeah, love is so sweet. And somewhere along those lines of love, there is something called obsession…. And boy, am I obsessed.
So I've been working on this painting for awhile now, three months to be exact. To say that this particular piece frustrates me would be an understatement. To say it has become the bane of my existence may be closer to the truth.
Even when I sleep violet eyes tinged with gold haunt me in my sleep.
Speaking of sleep, that is one commodity I haven't gotten a whole lot of lately. Staring at a partially worked on canvas until the sun starts to peek into my windows is definitely not good for my health. And I know the near over-load of caffeine and nicotine that I force into my system because of said lack of sleep isn't helping me any either…but then again, I've never been overly concerned with my health anyways….
Mou! Why won't that man leave me alone! It's obvious that he's not interested in me so I should just get over this little crush and move on right?
Right, and someday I will become the goddess of death for overly sensitive pink bunnies.
&&&&&&
"Damn, Tanuki, you look like hell." Sano, blunt and tactless as usual, decided to remind me that I have not been having the best of sleep lately. "Some big project or something?" He asked, concern tinged in his voice.
"Thank you for your succinct observation of my looks, Tori-atama." I growled out, "And yes, a project of mine hasn't been going as well as I would have hoped it to be."
"Can I ask what it is?"
"It's…" I stopped, looking into Kenshin's eyes for a moment before tearing my eyes away and threw my hands in the air in my exasperation. "…complicated, frustrating, and driving me up the damn wall."
The smirk that crossed Sano's face was not lost too me. He saw me looking at Kenshin and now the damned rooster looked like he won the fuckin' lotto. I scowled back at him, "What do you want?"
"Geez, Jou-chan, settle down. Quad Mocha and a chai for my buddy here." Sano jerked his finger in Kenshin's general direction.
"Black spice?" I asked and Kenshin nodded.
I turned my back on the two men and set about getting their drinks together, my hands operating the usual machines on auto-pilot. My mind too tired to comprehend the hooded glances that Kenshin kept on sending my way.
&&&&&&
He had been biding his time for way too long now, waiting for the chance to pounce. Usually spending three months on trying to figure out a woman he wanted to get into his bed was taboo. In fact, he couldn't recall the last time he had spent more than a week contemplating a woman.
They weren't worth it in his opinion, but there was just something about the little artistic barista that drew him to her. He was used to being the hunted, with women throwing themselves at him left and right. Usually gold-diggers trying to get their inch-long acrylic nails into his money, hoping to rope him into marriage. It was rather frustrating because the young woman seemed to show little interest in him, but intriguing all at the same time.
He didn't know if it was the deep sapphire eyes that expressed all her emotions, or the long slender fingers that moved with so much certainty, or the constantly changing streaks of color in her hair. She was an open book yet and enigma all at the same time. She was easy to talk to, and fun to be around. The gods only knew the crazy ideas were constantly spinning in her mind all of the time.
He had to suppress a laugh, her curiosity was insatiable, her interests flickering from one subject to the next. After the dictionary day, as they had dubbed it, she had developed an interest in knowing how the heck they got the graphite into pencils and had apparently taken a field trip out to a pencil factory. She had came back from her little excursion highly disappointed, apparently it was not as difficult nor as interesting as she had hoped. And then later on he had come in on a Sunday morning to find her reading a book on herbs and there many uses, when he had asked her why she had told him that she was merely curious about their wonderfully natural properties and Latin names. One thing that was consistent though, was her love for collecting useless information. He had made it a habit to bring her in something new every once and awhile, if only to see the look of child-like delight on her face.
She wasn't beautiful in the classical sense, nor was she beautiful like the women he usually dated, but she was beautiful in her own way. The spark of life that she always carried around her seemed to light up the room and ease his heart.
But today he had to agree with Sano, she looked absolutely beat. Her blue eyes were dull and he could tell that her brain was operating solely to get her through the day and then back to whatever she was doing to get her self in such a state. He frowned, concern flickering in his eyes for a moment. He couldn't understand why anyone would devote so much time to a product that wasn't coming to fruition. But then again, he wasn't an artist either, nor had he spent much time around them before either. Sano had Kaoru and occasional artist groupies to glean his artist information and habits out of, and he had none.
He contemplated that fact for a moment, did he really want a woman so simple yet so complex all at the same time in his life? It would cause complications for sure, and definitely upset the very fabric of his life. He liked his life to be neat and orderly with no surprises popping up to distract him, and Kaoru lived and breathed Chaos in it's finest sense. But something was telling him deep inside that this particular woman was worth all the chaos that she had brought into his life already, which would triple or even quadruple if he got what he wanted.
"Sano." He began once the taller man came back to their table with their drinks, "Why would she spend so much time on a project if it is and I quote 'complicating, frustrating, and driving her up the damn wall'?"
Sano frowned for a moment and took a sip of his mocha, "It could be anything really, I suppose. More than likely she got some inspiration for a piece and that she started it, but now she's hit a road block and can't go any further."
"Then why doesn't she just stop and move on?"
"It's not that easy for artists like her to just 'move on' once they started a piece, because the piece has the potential to eat them alive until it's finished. My college roommate, Katsu, on the other hand, is the opposite, he starts so many pieces never to finish them but it's the finished one's that give him the problems. If he perceives there is a flaw or something, and it could be just a tiny misplaced dab of color, it will eat and him and eat at him until he's returned than piece to utter and complete perfection. Believe me, I've seen him stay up for a week straight, trying to figure out what was wrong on one of his wood prints. He just sat and analyzed it to death, living off of coffee and nicotine only to remove two small strips of wood. Their logic is not ours, Kenshin, whereas we work nine to five and the occasional overtime, once we're done, we're done. We get off of work and try not to think about it until the next day, have dinner and go to bed. Their art is their life, consuming what time they have when they aren't working, eating or sleeping. In college, Katsu stayed up for days on end working on his projects, especially if an idea was eating at him. I remember having to force him to eat because he'd get so caught up in what he was doing that he'd neglect to take care of himself. I imagine that Jou-chan is much the same way."
Kenshin returned his gaze to the raven haired woman behind the counter who looked like she was about to drop.
"That can't be considered healthy."
Sano shrugged "Probably not, but I seriously doubt that Jou-chan cares."
"But she looks as though she's about to pass out!" Kenshin protested, causing his friend to raise an eyebrow in surprise.
"Well, well. Are you telling me that the Himura Kenshin, the Battousai actually cares about the health of a woman that he has not bedded when he doesn't even care about the women he has bedded?"
Kenshin's eyes bled into amber, sputtering in his embarrassment and frustration, "That's not…that is to say…. Damnit Sano, that's not fair! I'm merely concerned because she happens to make an excellent chai that I'm rather addicted too and if she winds up in the hospital if she doesn't take care of herself who's gonna make me my chai?"
"Suuuuuree. You keep on telling yourself that, buddy."
&&&&&&
Damn, I am sick…. You know that totally exhausted can barely move kind of sick? Yeah, I got that. Probably because I haven't been taking all that great of care of myself lately, so I haven't got anyone else but myself to blame.
I somehow managed to call Tae and tell her I wouldn't be able to work today…. At least I think I did, I could have been imagining the entire episode. And that isn't completely unheard of either, I remember having very animated conversations about various subjects with my friends, but my friends claim they've never happened.
I still swear up and down to this day that Misao told me she had this dream were all her friends were animals and I was this mutated wallaby/tanuki thing…. Actually, I think that's where the whole Tanuki nickname bit started….
I drag myself up off my futon and head over to my easel, throwing the canvas down on the floor and out of my sight. "Damn you, this is all your fault!" I growl at it as I made my way into the kitchenette to get some water.
Too bad I never made it, but I discovered for myself first hand just how bad concrete floors are on your body.
&&&&&&&&
"Is Kaoru on vacation or something, Tae? She usually works this shift." Sano asked as the petite woman made his usual mocha.
"She called in this morning sick, she sounded horrible over the phone. Of course that poor girl overworks herself so much and doesn't take the time to take care of herself…. Well, you know how Kaoru is, Sagara-san."
"Yeah, yeah, it'd be just like her to catch something just because she overtaxed herself."
"She needs to find somebody who'll take care of her, makes sure she doesn't become too exhausted…." Tae sighed, remembering her previous attempts at her hobby of matchmaking with Kaoru, "But she's just not interested."
Sano didn't answer and merely shrugged, handing the proprietress the money for his drink.
"Where's Himura-san today?" Tae asked as he turned to leave.
"Oh, he's doing that CEO of a large company thing today, you know board meetings and everything…."
Tae nodded and resumed tending to her customers while Sano turned around and resumed his trek back outside. He frowned, he wasn't particularly happy hearing that Kaoru wasn't feeling well, but remember how exhausted she had looked the previous day he guessed it wasn't that surprising.
He settled his lean frame into his Jeep Wrangler and started up the engine to head back to the office.
&&&&&&&&
"Kaoru?"
I could hear a voice calling me, from somewhere. Whomever it was seemed very far away and my brain could barely process the fact that they was someone there.
"Kaoru? Kaoru!" a pause and then more knocking, which made the pounding in my head just that much worse. "Damnit, Tanuki! Open this door!"
I could faintly comprehend the large silence that followed that was proceeded a few minutes later by that someone, whom I was slowly becoming convinced was Misao, was loudly berating another person into opening my door.
Thank the gods…
"Oh Kami! Kaoru!" a rush of feet and someone gently swatting my face. I think I moaned, but I'm not too sure. "Don't worry Kaoru, we're going to get you some help."
"M-Misao?"
"That's right, Kaoru, it's me." Misao reassured me before turning around and yelling at the building super to hurry his ass up.
"I hurt…" I whispered feebly. I supposed that if I was in my right mind I would have winced at how pathetic I sounded.
"We're going to go see Megumi now, Kaoru. And she'll take good care of you…."
More people came into my small studio apartment. Sounds of people moving around, getting me onto a stretcher. A sharp prick in my left arm. My brain barely registered that it was a needle, something that I was usually frighten of to the point I started shrieking in fear much like one does when they have a paranoia of bugs….
The sharp sound of a door being shut, and the ear-numbing sounds of the sirens were all I remembered before I passed out again.
&&&&&&&
"Kaoru's gone again today, Tae?" Sano asked surprised.
"Yes, she is. I actually don't know when she'll get back. Her friend Misao found her passed out on the floor of her apartment last night and she was taken to the hospital. She promised to call once they found out anything…."
Kenshin felt his eyebrows furrowing together as he listened to Tae and Sano's conversation about Kaoru. And he frowned in annoyance when he found out that Sano had known that she was sick yesterday….
Why hadn't Sano told him?
Because, you baka, you were in meetings all day yesterday.
He could have told me this morning or after work yesterday.
When did you become so concerned?
He scowled in annoyance with himself. That's right, when did he, Himura Kenshin, get so concerned about a woman that he actually cared about being updated on their health? When did he become so concerned with a local artist with sapphire eyes that he felt the beginnings of anxieties when he heard that she was in the hospital.
They were all very good questions, and questions that he couldn't answer.
Damnit, he had to bed that woman and get her out of his system! Her and her wide eyes that could never tell a lie….
"Come on, Sano. Let's go." He found himself murmuring to his tall friend after they had received their drinks.
"Go?" the other man was truly puzzled, "Go where?"
"To the hospital to see Kaoru, tori-atama no baka."
Kenshin didn't see the scowl that painted said rooster's face for a moment before it turned into a sly smirk.
"Alright, Kenshin." He agreed.
It wasn't until ten minutes later and several miles away from the coffee shop that Kenshin realized something.
"Oh shit!"
"What?" Sano questioned.
"I forgot to ask which hospital she's at!"
&&&&&&&
I found myself staring at Megumi, quite unsure as too what to say.
"W-what? What do you mean I gotta stay here for a week?"
"Kaoru…" Megumi sighed, "You haven't been taking care of yourself very well lately. Not only do you have a very serious case of the flu you're also dehydrated, on the verge of very serious anemia, not too mention your blood pressure is through the roof. You're a candidate for an aneurysm or worse. You're immune system is so weak right now that I'm surprised that the flu is all that you have. You need to slow down and relax a little bit every once and awhile, Tanuki."
"I thought only old men got aneurysms." I grumbled back, shifting on the hospital bed uncomfortably.
"A lot of people think that, but it's not always true. In fact, young women in their twenties are almost at much of risk of it as women in their sixties, if not more so. And a lot more women die from it because they don't think that it's something that can happen to them."
I sighed and turned my head to look out the window.
"Kaoru, this is serious. Promise me you'll start taking better care of yourself."
The tone in Megumi's voice surprised me, she usually has a teasing undertone, but this was a soft pleading, tinged with concern. I felt the muscles around my eyes relax and my expression softened.
"Alright, Megumi. I promise."
She smiled at me and patted my hand before turning around and leaving. I studied all the various IV's coming out of my arms and stuck out my tongue in annoyance. This was boring, I didn't even have my sketchpad to keep me occupied and Misao wouldn't be by until after work….
I turned my head to look back out the window, willing myself to either fall asleep or go insane from being surrounded by four white walls and annoying beeping monitors. I really hated hospitals and the way they smelled…overly sanitary, and something that I've always associated with death.
There came a light knock on my door and I looked at the clock up on the wall, it was too early for Misao to come and it certainly wasn't dinner time…
"Come in." I called, and refocused my attentions to the rather drab view of the city and hospital roof from the window.
"Jou-chan!"
"Sano? What are you doing here?" I blinked owlishly up at him. I certainly wasn't expecting him to visit.
"Well, me and Kenshin heard you were up here and decided to come up and visit." He answered easily, removing himself from the doorway and revealing Kenshin behind him.
He looked at me with those lavender eyes, now more gold than violet and I was lost.
"Kenshin…"
"How are you feeling, Kaoru?" he asked me quietly, his eyes tracing my body and the IV's hooked up to their monitors.
I smiled at him and Sano, "Oh, I'm fine, just a little dehydrated and a bit of the flu according to Megumi."
Sano grabbed one of my hands and squeezed it gently, "You need to start taking better care of yourself, Jou-chan."
I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head. Sometimes, he took the whole surrogate elder brother figure thing a little too far. "I'm fine, seriously."
"Sano's right." Kenshin agreed, producing a bouquet of roses out of thin air. They were huge! How did he sneak them in here? "You shouldn't take such risks with your health."
"Thank you for the flowers." I said quietly, as he handed them over to me. I know I was blushing, but could I help it? Especially considering the fact I had never received flowers before, and the fact that Kenshin was quite the handsome man. "And I've already promised the Kitsune that I'd start taking better care of myself. So you don't have to worry, honestly."
He frowned a little at my placating tone, "How long do you have to stay here?"
"About a week." I turned my attention away from him and those swirling pools of amber and violet before I lost my sanity and began to study the roses, inhaling their fragrance appreciatively.
"A week? That seems a little overboard…." Kenshin commented, I could tell he was studying me when I looked out the corner of my eye.
"Perhaps." I admitted and shrugged. "But I'm not a doctor."
Sano and I chatted for a little more, Kenshin putting in his two cents every once and awhile but for the most part keeping silent, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. I don't know what was going on in that head of his, but his eyes, like usual, were unreadable.
After awhile they made their excuses and left. Sano gently squeezing my hand again, telling me he'd be back up here to see me later and that he'd bring me something to do. Kenshin, on the other hand, completely surprised me. He leaned over the bed and gently kissed me on the forehead, telling me to get better soon.
My mind stopped functioning after that, and I offered them both a very weak goodbye in my stunned state…. I guess I stayed like that for several minutes before I woke up from my stupor.
Now I was left all alone in the white room with nothing to do except twiddle my thumbs and play with my roses, while contemplating the exact reason why Kenshin kissed me. I sighed, gods this was going to be the week from hell.
&&&&&&&
end chapter 4
Closing Notes: Whew, never thought that I'd get here. Sorry for making everybody wait so long…. grins sheepishly anywho--- so the action is picking up a bit more now, sorry the end of this chapter was so lame! ducks the rotten fruit
now onto my blatant disrespect for the "no author's notes or reader responses"
Reader Responses:
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