written by mtgranola
Disclaimer: I'm just 'borrowing' the Kenshingumi for awhile, so please don't sue! Bygone Days is copyrighted solely by me; the full text can be found at: http/ allpoetry (dot) com/ Poem/ 1508503 (remove the spaces).
Warning: Extreme OCCness, I didn't think that I would have to do this since it is an AU fic, but apparently I do. I'm merely playing with Watsuki-san's characters so of course they aren't going to be cannon. And all the weirdness and odd conversations in this story can be often contributed to an over-consumption of caffeine.
Chapter Five:
Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
VoltaireI slowly wiped down the counter with my wash cloth, my first day back at work in two weeks. My doctor and Megumi had both insisted that I not do anything too strenuous, including work. No late nights, no art making, nothing…. I have never been so bored in my life.
Of course, my thoughts were continually wondering towards a red headed man whom I haven't seen since he brought me flowers and gave me that kiss.
What the hell did it mean, anyway?
Does the guy just go and give every sick girl a kiss on the forehead?
I felt my face pull down in a scowl. It wouldn't surprise me one bit, actually. But then I haven't seen Tori-atama around since that day either…. I know they work together, perhaps they had to go on a business trip? Why the hell did I care anyways?
I groaned inwardly, because I'm a baka and I went and fell for the guy that's why.
Baka! Baka! Baka! I'm seriously tempted to start banging my head on the counter top, but I doubt that would fix the problem at hand. Namely Himura Kenshin, and this crush I seem to have developed on him. I wouldn't be surprised if I started going on and on about him like Misao does about Shinomori-san. I shuddered at the horror of the thought…I wouldn't be surprised if it gave me nightmares.
It's my own fault, really. I knew he was a player, it was in all his smirks and flirting with all the pretty ladies around him. But not me…. I sighed, of course I would never be up to the standards that Kenshin obviously expected of his women. I'm just a poor artist working in a coffee house, after all. Then again, it's perhaps safer this way. I'm not in any danger of getting hurt, emotionally or physically if he doesn't reciprocate.
But then what did that kiss mean?
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Kenshin closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Two weeks in Paris would be great if it were actually a vacation. To be truthful, two weeks in Paris would have been absolutely wonderful if Sano hadn't come along.
Sano was his best friend, true, but there was only so much he could take of the man's stupidity sometimes. He snorted, actually Sano wasn't stupid at all, in fact he was incredibly smart or he would have never gotten a job at his uncle's company, it was just how he acted in public when they weren't doing business. In other words, when Tori-atama was acting like a complete baka, like he was doing now…hitting on the airline stewardess…rather loudly in broken French. Hopefully his companion wouldn't get sued for sexual harassment.
He wondered briefly how Kaoru was doing. She said she only had to stay in the hospital for a week or so, but he didn't know when she'd be able to go back to work. He had tried his best to get the petite barista out of his head while he was in Paris, and had met several lovely young ladies, but they just weren't her. They had none of the vivaciousness, the genuine love of life, or that fiery temper that made her blue eyes light up. Mostly simpering sluts trying to get their claws into his bank account.
He'd never been so hung up on a girl, not since Tomoe way back in college. In fact, after Tomoe had went back to her first love Akira he swore never to allow a woman to consume his time, his heart, his thoughts, or his heart the way he had with her. He would have given her the world, but she didn't want the world, she wanted Akira. So he drowned himself in his misery and covered it up with the beautiful women always by his side.
None of them really meant anything to him, just a way of keeping his bed warm at night or to look good for the press that were continually hounding him. Most eligible bachelors were expected to take lots of beautiful women into their beds after all….
He had made plans to ask Kaoru to the newest exhibit opening at the museum when he got back. He truly hoped she would accept so that he could get her out of his system. After all, in the end he knew that she would prove to be just like all the other women before her.
But she isn't like that and you know it. She's not a high-society snob climbing the ladder by climbing into beds, she's Kaoru!
He frowned and leaned back in his seat. Yeah, getting her out of his system would be for the best…he was beginning to have arguments with himself in his head….
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Painted memories
lined up against a wall
Faded feelings
overwhelming them all
I softly strummed the melody of the song I was singing. Thrilled to be able to participate at mic night at the coffeehouse again. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through me, striking the chords in my mind.
Forget I asked
Forget I came
You and I belong to bygone days
spectres of another age
I was grateful for the bright lights of the stage, blinding me to all the people that were packed into the place. Sometimes, the best therapy is to write, or to create, something to release the pent-up emotions. Think of it as primal therapy…without all the screaming.
Sweet muses
sing the songs
I once longed to hear
I knew he was here tonight, he has this over-whelming presence…I would know it anywhere, even without seeing him. It seems that it was a lifetime ago, that I wrote this, thinking that it would help me past the despair, the depression…. Of course, I never thought that I would see him again, either.
broken strings
and discarded picks
are all that are left to blame
I allowed my head to move to the beat my drummer, Soujiro, was tapping out. I let go of guitar and stood up, grabbing the mic and singing my soul for the world to see.
Long nights
spent wondering
what's become of you
Days are spent
pushing back
the person I became because of…
I grit my teeth and wrung my hands around the mic stand. I lowered my head so that my bangs covered my eyes. Primal therapy, primal screams, let go…let go of it all…. It's in the past, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm my own person, he doesn't rule me anymore.
You…
Kenshin watched Kaoru singing up on the stage intently, he had never seen such a passionate display, she was baring her soul, her pain to everybody in the room. She sat back down on the stand and repositioned her fingers to pluck out a slower melody.
Love is so close to hate
That perhaps I was confused
He was stunned, he had never heard more poignant words in his whole life. The fine line between two extreme emotions that can be crossed over at anytime. A paper thin margin between opposites…and it is said that opposites attract.
Forget I asked
Forget I came
You and I belong to bygone days
I let the last note fade and took a deep breath and exhaled before I dared to look up. The room burst into applause, causing a small smile of relief to cross my face. I gave a short bow and stepped off of the stage. Another thing about releasing our emotions into our artwork…sometimes the causes for our suffering creates masterpieces.
&&&&&&&
I slipped out the back to light up a cigarette, slowing exhaling the toxic smoke I so enjoyed pulling into my lungs. It was rather nerve-wracking, but I did it, I stayed in the same room as him and managed not to cry at the sight of him.
I think I have the right to feel proud myself.
I notice my hand slightly trembling, aftereffects of the massive damage my nerves have gone through tonight. I will not cry…I WILL NOT! He hurt me deeper than anybody else ever could. Shattered my faith and my trust in an instant, broke my heart into a million pieces, leaving me to find a tube of super-glue to fasten them back together.
I sighed and watched the smoke drift into the cloudless night sky, watching what little I could see of the large cosmos above my head, allowing myself to lose myself in the moment.
I shouldn't have done that, though. Lost myself, things always happen in that moment of bliss when you are not paying attention.
"Beautiful performance tonight, koishii." I heard him say and my voice caught in my throat. Sure, I can act all distant and strong when he's across the room, but now that he's only a few feet away from me... Aw, hell, this is gonna suck...
"Thanks…." I muttered back, refusing to look at him.
"It's nice to know you still think about me."
"Go away, Enishi."
"But koishii…." He tried coaxing me with that beautiful disarming smile.
"No buts! Get away from me!" I tore my wrist away from his grasp. "I don't want you anywhere in the vicinity of where I breathe!"
"So hostile…" he murmured darkly, shadows of something I dared not to name lurking in those turquoise depths. "And to think I came all this way just to see you, koishii…"
His grip on my upper arms was beginning to get painful, his fingernails digging into the sensitive skin there. "Why are you not happy to see me? Is it because…you're seeing someone else?"
"You have no right…!"
"Ah, ah, koishii…I have every right." he whispered harshly against my lips. " After all, you belong to me, and only to me…."
" I BELONG TO NO ONE!" I screamed, kicking at him with all of my might and catching him in his shin. He flinched lightly, fury burning in his eyes his fingers digging even more into my arms. "LET GO OF ME!"
"Let go of her now!" A dark masculine voice came from behind us. I turned my head to see who it was and I gasped. Kenshin was standing there, his violet eyes reflecting bits of amber in the darkness surrounding us. His body was tensed, as if prepared to fight.
"Kenshin…" I whispered in shock, my eyes wide.
"I see how it is, koishii…." Enishi hissed fiercely. "We will continue this at another time." He continued, finally letting go of me and lightly pushing me away from him.
Kenshin was suddenly there behind me. Funny how I didn't even hear him move…and I watched the retreating back of my former lover.
"It's alright now, Kaoru…" Kenshin whispered behind me, gently pulling me into the protective warmth of his embrace. I hadn't realized until that moment just how bad I was shaking, not in fear but in shock.
"Shhh, it's going to be okay…." He continued to softly whisper, one of his hands gently rubbing my back while the other wiped tears I didn't know I shed away from my face. "I'm here now, you're safe…."
I nodded dumbly as he led me back inside and straight into the worried arms of Misao. I barely listened as she ranted and raved about Enishi's evilness, with the occasional soothing cooing.
Kenshin kissed me on the top of my head, catching my eye and smiling warmly, trying to reassure me with his violet eyes that everything was going to be all right.
But damn the pessimist that I am, because I knew somehow, someway things were only bound to get worse….
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end chapter five
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