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THE FINE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND LUST
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I Love You
It rang over and over in her head. How were those three words, the three most dangerous yet beautiful words in the world, uttered to her by the person she least would have suspected?
But then again why would he say them to her? Why would he confess such a big secret to her when he hated her? He hated her… right?
"So you're not going to say anything?" he asked, his blonde locks falling into his cold, grey eyes. "Are you going to ignore me?"
Should she? Should she ignore what she had just heard? She wanted to, she wanted to run into her room, climb in her bed and hide under the covers and forget his confession and never think of it again. She closed her eyes, wishing he would just go away, wishing everything would just go back to normal. Wishing she once again knew what she wanted and didn't want.
He couldn't possibly mean what he was saying anyway; he was just playing with her and he was going to tell all his friends how he made her, the poor, filthy "mudblood" fall for him. Well, she was going to prove him wrong. She was going to stay on top, stay calm, she was Head Girl after all even if he was Head Boy she was going to stay on top and be calm like what he had said had no impact whatsoever.
"You're lying," she stated, holding her head high, "Don't do this just to spite me,"
"I would never," he told, shaking his head. "I'm not lying, do you think I would tell you this? Would talk to you like this if it wasn't the truth?"
He is, he's got to be.
"You can't just tell me this with no reason" she said, still holding her head up high, her hand by her side slightly trembling.
He'll stop the act soon.
"No reason? No reason, Granger are you out of your mind?" he said raising his voice. "I have plenty reason, you accidentally leave the bathroom door unlocked, you parade around the common room in your very small night clothes" he yelled, but his voice soon became softer, "You are the brightest witch your age, you don't care what anyone else thinks of you, you hang around with a bunch of guys but you hold your chastity with pride."
"Don't try and flatter me" she spat, "I know just what you're up to, Malfoy!" she yelled.
"And what is that?" he asked calmly.
"You want to bring me down, break me, so you can brag to all your friends that you shagged the self-centered little mudblood!" she yelled.
"No I don't!" he retorted, "You think I don't love you? You think I put myself through this misery of seeing you everyday and wanting to be with you? I could never tell anyone else about this," he whispered.
"Stop saying that!" Hermione yelled and sighed in frustration, "You don't... I don't… you can't... I don't feel anything for you," she mumbled.
"You don't?" Draco asked raising his brow, "What about all the times you kissed me? What about our first kiss?" he asked smugly.
Hermione had tried to block that out of her mind, it was only a kiss after all.
It was a late Monday night and they were doing their usual rounds, they didn't talk, they never really talked. Normally the only words said to each other were 'you ready to go back now?' or 'should we give them detention?'
Hermione was looking down at the cold stone floor, listening to their shuffling feet when she suddenly felt eyes were upon her, she looked up and sure enough someone was looking at her. That someone looking at her was the thing that shocked her the most, Draco Malfoy, the one that hated her with his every last breath was staring at her with a strange look on his face.
"What?" she voiced her confusion.
He smirked at her but didn't answer.
"What?" she repeated a little more sternly.
Without warning, he grabbed her roughly and shoved her against the wall. She was surprised and bumped her head hard because she was not in expecting an assault from him.
"What are you doing?" she asked shocked.
"You've changed, Granger," he answered her previous question, holding her against the wall.
"I beg your pardon?"
"For the better" he finished and smirked once more and eyed her chest. She noticed and crossed her arms, "Well now, that's no fun" he drawled.
"Shove it, Malfoy" she spat.
He leant in closer to her and whispered in her ear.
"Such a goodie-goodie. You probably have never snogged a guy"
"What's it to you?" she glared, "It's none of your business who I snog"
"Oh so you have snogged a guy, was it Potty or the Weasel?"
"Shut up!" she growled.
"Oh so you haven't… you are a goodie-goodie" he smirked.
"Shut up, Malfoy" she said again through gritted teeth, "Just because I study doesn't mean I don't have a life besides MY life is none of your business now let go."
"Prove it" he dared.
"I'm sorry?" she asked.
"Prove it, prove you're not a goodie-goodie" he smirked.
"How would I do that?" she asked confused forgetting for a moment that she was held against the wall.
Malfoy smirked and raised an eyebrow. He leaned into her and caught her lips with his. Hermione immediately pushed him away on instinct.
"You are a goodie-goodie then?" he asked.
"No!" she denied.
After a moment of hesitation Hermione acted on an impulse and grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him into her, she caught his lips and kissed him hard and roughly. Her tongue traced his bottom lip and he opened his mouth to her, her tongue dived into it and massaged his tongue roughly.
He moaned and he pushed himself against her so she was sandwiched tightly between him and the wall. His hands found her hips and held on tight and her hands wrapped around his neck.
They broke apart slowly both needing to catch their breath. Draco stared down into her eyes and after a moment slowly leaned in and claimed her lips again, this time he was in control. His tongue had entrance into her mouth and massaged every crevice of it. He sucked on her tongue and it made her moan and fall into him, her hands were running through his hair and his were still tight around her hips.
They broke apart for the second time and Hermione had realised what she had done, she had just had a snogging fit with Draco Malfoy.
After that they had sworn to never speak of it again and never repeat it. But they did repeat it, many times after that, almost every time as they went on their rounds and between classes and sometimes in their common room. Hermione had eventually stopped kissing him back, knowing it was a bad idea and ultimately he stopped too, not being very happy about how 'unenthusiastic' she was about it. She had gotten over it quickly but it seemed Draco hadn't.
"Will you deny you liked it?" Draco asked, stirring her from her thoughts.
"I didn-" Hermione started but stopped herself, "Ok I admit it, I liked it, but I don't like you" she confessed, "And you know you don't like me, if you're going to tell me you changed your mind, you're crazy"
He must be mad.
"Only because you are driving me crazy, I can't have you but I want you, I want you to be mine" He said and stepped closer to her, she stepped backward.
"I don't want you!" she exclaimed, "I never have and I never will," she said and he continued to walk closer to her so she continued to back away. "Stop it!" she yelled, he was making her nervous.
Very nervous.
"Stop what?" he asked and curled his lip into a frightening sneer.
What is he doing?
He grasped hold of her wrist and pulled her roughly towards him. She was in a way expecting something to happen, something like him trying to kiss her but was still quite shocked. After a few seconds of getting over the shock she tried to pull her wrist away from him but he wrapped his arms around her tightly so she could not be free.
"Let me go" she grunted but he didn't.
He savagely pressed his lips against her and forced his tongue into her mouth. He kissed her feverishly and as if he would die if he did let her go.
She banged her fists against his chest but it had no effect on him whatsoever, it actually made him smirk against her lips.
"Stop it!" she yelled but he made no recognition to her claim.
He's crazy.
He pushed her brutally down on the couch, she pulled herself up but he pushed her back down and got on top of her, he held both of her wrists on each side of her head and she struggled madly, he only smiled at her effort.
She kicked him but it didn't stop him, she tried to scream again but his mouth roughly muffled her cries for help. He continued to kiss her hard and she tasted blood, her blood.
He traced kisses down her jaw line and to her neck, kissing and licking it leading down to where her shirt was.
She started to cry, she was terrified, she never thought this would happen. Salty tears ran down her face and when he realised what it was, he traced them with his tongue. She cried out for help again and he pressed his lips on her neck again and bit her hard, she still cried but now with pain too, She felt her skin break and blood fall so she stopped herself from crying and he finally stopped biting her.
He began to press his knee between her thighs trying to pry them apart but she wouldn't oblige. She was not going to let this happen.
"Don't make this harder than it already is, mudblood" he whispered on her mouth.
"Get off me" she begged.
He pressed his knee harder between her thighs and after another cry of pain from her he finally got them apart. He smiled to himself and let his hand wonder down her chest, leaving one of her hands free.
Hermione screamed, she screamed louder than she ever had before, she screamed out of panic, out of fear, pain, hatred and pure anger. She pushed him off of her with an overload of strength and rolled of the couch.
Hermione crawled across the floor, blood dripping down her chin and neck. Her thighs were bruised already and her bushy hair was in her mouth. Her heavy breathing was making her choke on it and it made her even more hysterical.
She felt tugging on her right foot and knew it was him. She turned her head back and saw him with a strong grasp around her foot, his grey eyes boring into her. She kicked her foot and got him square it the face. She heard him grunt and knew she had caused him some pain.
Hermione continued to crawl across the floor franticly. Her tears of fright still falling from her eyes. She grabbed hold of the nearest table and pulled herself up. She stood straight and pulled her wand from her pocket and pointed it at him and froze.
She glared down at him, how dare he! How dare he touch her without her permission. He was sick. Low. Vile. Crazy.
"Love me? Love me?" she yelled, "You're sick, you don't love me. If you loved me you would try and force yourself upon me you sick freak!" she yelled louder, "If that's how you would love someone I pity the people in your life! You disgust me! You are a repulsive bastard!"
He was lying on the floor, he had a bloody nose and he was wiping it with his shirtsleeve. Yet he was still looking at her hungrily. Hermione stared back at him but her stare was full of terror. She was even too scared to think of a hex or jinx to cast over him, all she could think was she had to get out of there now.
"Stay away from me!" she screamed and backed away to the portrait. He made a move and she yelled again, "Stay the fuck away from me!"
How dare he!
When she reached the portrait hole she slipt out and ran as fast as she could to the Gryffindor common room, her body bleeding, hair messed and uniform askew.
She left him still lying there on the floor, his hand was no longer wiping his nose. It was resting on the floor next to him. Blood poured from his nose but he didn't seem to care. He just stayed there, cursing himself on the outside and killing himself on the inside.
He had just lost her forever now, the one girl he thought would understand him, the one girl he knew he would share everything with, the girl he loved.
His eyes travelled from the hole of the portrait to one of the many Slytherin banners that decorated the room, he studied it closely while his mind processed what had just happened. How did he let himself fall so low to love a Gryffindor, a muggle born, a mudblood?
His eyes were still on the banner when one lone tear fell; he quickly wiped it away shocked. He could never cry he hadn't had a reason to cry for years, he always got what he wanted but not tonight, no not tonight.
He was shocked that a filthy but beautiful mudblood could cause him to shower tears. Even if it was only one tear, but that one tear that stood for a lot, it stood for everything he had just lost because he was so stupid.
He did love her, he never lied to her, he most certainly loved her but he wanted her then and there, even if it was on their common room couch and even if she hadn't agreed to it. He was actually glad she had stopped him, he had no patience and he crossed the fine line between love and lust and he would regret it eternally.
THE END