By S-Chrome
Disclaimer: K.P. Lives! So now we get to see whether or not K/R was nothing more than a rush job.
Oh... And uh... Despite the fact the our redheaded champion (and the blond sidekick) carry on, they are still properties of Disney. And don't you forget it. BOW DOWN TO THE MOUSE! (Or the guys who actually respond to viewers pressure. Or Iger... or whatever...)
It really didn't take a shrink to figure out what was up with Kimmie, Shego concluded. She knew within minutes of this session that her rival had a crush on this goofball. But, she certainly didn't know that she had it this bad for him. It was kind of interesting, in a disgusting, disturbing and off-kilter sort of way.
Plus, if there was some way she and Drakken could exploit this. So much the better.
"Is that all?" The deceptive doctor asked.
"Well... No," Ron answered slowly. "Kim and I went to Middleton Park a few weeks back. I was gonna find out the guy who she took a liking to. But, instead of telling me who it was, she kinda, you know, kissed me, and then we left the park. I still didn't know who this guy was."
Holy Mother of... This was getting ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous...
"Wait a minute... Did you say exactly two weeks ago?" The phony psychiatrist asked.
"Yeah, Why?"
It was at this point, Shego herself, was havng a flashback. Exactly two weeks ago.
It was all set up and ready to go. A potent knockout gas developed by Drakken to take out a good amount of the population of a city. Middleton was the first place we were going to hit, along with Possible and her little sidekick. With the princess out of the way, we were going to be free to bring the world to it's knees. Except that Kimmie got the drop on us. It was kinda strange... Loverboy wasn't with her and she looked kinda angry. A foil of the plot, three hard kicks to the ribs, and a knee to the face later, I guessed right.
Maybe this was why she was so ticked that night.
Maybe it wasn't a coincedece, but there was only one way to find out.
"What about three weeks ago?"
"Err...," Ron stammered, scratching his head. "Oh! Um, Kim invited me to go with her to see this play. I would've gone, but Christy Carlson-Romano was in it... and she was going to sing,"
"Bleccchhh!" Ron and the disguised Shego exclaimed in unison.
"She was pretty steamed about something that night, if I remember correctly," Ron said shrugging.
Another flashback crept from the recesses of Shego's memory.
Three weeks ago: Drakken's greatest nefarious scheme, or so he thought. Before the plot could even get off the ground, however, Princess was there in our lair, and looking 'pretty steamed.' For reasons I'm not quite sure of, out of the clear blue, she kicked Doctor D in his... well... uh, ball bearings. I almost felt sorry for the guy, That is, until she began pummelling me into oblivion as well. I still have no idea why. Maybe it was Romano's singing. Maybe the acoustics were too high. Maybe the performance lacked harmony. Maybe it was... Waaaaait a second...
The very idea struck the villainess cold, like one too many punches from the undisputed heavyweight champion. It was a great realization, a moment of clarity that took place in her mind.
Yep... On of those moments.
'She's taking it out on us!" Shego thought bitterly. 'This moron doesn't even know what's going on and because of it... she's... taking... it... out... on... us!"
"So what do you think is wrong, doc?"
The feigned look of a curious psychiatrist was replaced by the now familiar murderous look of a now undisguised Shego. The blond's eyes went wide as sausages... er, saucers as the villainess quickly advanced on him. Before he has the ghost of a chance of escaping, he was grabbed by the collar of his turtleneck and pinned against the wall.
"I'll tell you what's wrong, Stoppable. That girl is in freakin love with you, and you don't seem to be getting the picture!" The incensed young woman growled. What didn't he get? Before he could open his mouth in response, a new question came about.
"Who are you talking about?"
Who?
Who?
Who!
Whooooo are you? Who, Who, Who, Who?
The assassin was flabbergasted to say the least. With her jade green eyes almost blazing, she drew at almost nose-to-nose with her rival's dumb, idiotic, and extremely oblivious sidekick.
"Who? I'll tell you who!" The beyond angry villainess yelled before long-tossing the young blond into the couch. Once again, Ron tried to clear an escape path, but with cat-like cunning and pretty damn good quickness, Shego found herself on top of her captor.
Which may have been good for her captor when you really come to think about it.
"Kim Possible, that's who! You mean to tell me that Princess has had the hots for you for months, and you didn't even freakin' notice?"
"Uh... No?"
With a growl of the frustration her rival had come to know so well, the emerald green glow began to build up in the villainess' green gloves, which meant to Ron, that he was either in grave danger, or he was going to be cooked Stoppable in like, five seconds.
"Stoppable, you've got five seconds to explain yourself before I blast you into next Hanukkah!" She spat.
That wasn't nearly enough time for the young man to sort out his... feelings or thoughts. But he had to make the best of what time he had. Speaking from the heart was something that Ron rarely did, but at this desperate point in time, it was his only chance.
"Uh... um... Well. You see the thing is that... I... kinda... sorta... like Kim too."
Ron had hoped that this truthful excuse would appease the beautiful green monster that was merely inches away from him. Coincedentally, he had also hoped that he would be more popular around school. Then again, He had also hoped for world peace. And then again, he had hoped that Bonnie wouldn't be such a... biyotch. He had also hoped that Jesse McCartney's career would finally go down in flames.
Oh, come on... Like you wouldn't hope for that...
After all, Hope Springs Eternal, Right?
Wrong!
"If he's going to be that dense, girl, then he is not worth your quality time," A gossip monger said to her red-haired friend.
"I guess you're right, Mo. Besides, in the long run, I think Ron and I would be better off if we stayed friends," Kim agreed, trying to take the sting out and rationalize this lost cause. When Monique nodded in agreement, the teen heoine went back to unloading her locker when...
"Kim!" Wade, the housebound computer genius on the computer screen exclaimed.
"Whoa, Amp down, Wade. What's the sitch?" Kim asked calmly.
"It's kinda major, Kim. It's about R..."
"This had better not be about Ron," Kim cut in. "Wherever he is, and whatever he's doing, let him get himself out of it."
"But, Kim! Shego just left out of an unidentified office building with Drakken, and she had Ron!"
Monique gasped in shock. Kim, on the other hand...
"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" The redhead wailed in anguish, much to the surprise of one gossip monger and computer genius.
"I-It's OK, Kim. I've got a GPS Chip on Ron, remember?"
"Keep me posted. I'm on my way. No one's gonna take my Ronnie-Ron away from me!" Kim said with the super-special mission determination in her voice.
With that, and not so much as a 'Thanks Wade for keeping a GPS Chip on my sidekick', Kim zipped out of school, leaving Monique and Wade to think about what just happened, as well as what was just said by rushing redhead...
"Ronnie-Ron?" They both asked incredulously in unison.
End of Chapter 3
What the heck is Drakken & Shego going to do to poor Ronnie-Ron? Where the heck is Kim going? Why is the narrator so damn sarcastic? Does the writer have a personal vendetta against McCartney & C.C. Romano? Can you tell that S-Chrome is having more fun with this fic than necessary?
All these important, stirring questions would be revealed in the final chapter of Situation Oblivious!
S-Chrome