Want to know what I do before I go to bed or in between rushes at work? Write. I sit there, composition book in hand, planning out all the plot twists and dramas and goodness for this little story. And, with all of that said, it's taken me forever and 6 days to write this chapter. Finally though, after a good few emails with a soon-to-be partner-in-crime, I was... mused. (haha)

That... and Wednesday was my 21st birthday! (The 9th.)

(I guess it really IS time to be your 21. lol)

To put it simply: There is a lot of stuff planned even if I do seem to be posting sporadically. Think... drama. Think... showdown. Think... Jude gets an ally. Think... Bri's a twisted little something and she likes making things twisted. I think I'm gonna take this down some dark alley in the near future. I'm dying for something really... DARK. lol. Just wait... (Again, NO MURDER/SUICIDE/ETC. NO ONE dies. Those stories just... make me sad.)

It'll be fun... & this chapter was frikkin MURDER to write. (Took me damn near 2 weeks to write!)

PS: I just realized that I've started numbering my chapters incorrectly. THIS is actually chapter 17. Heh...
PSS: This one crossed the 2,000 word line. BE PROUD.
PSSS: Sorry if the ending seemed a bit sappy. It's just... something I'd tell my own father. Felt right at the time. lol
PSSSS: REVIEW MONKEY HEADS! I'm going all comment fiend, man. I get off to it or something, I guess.

Chapter 17 / Put Your Tiny Hand in Mine

Jude's breath caught in her throat, time stopping. It was a scene from The Matrix and she waited for everything to turn stark white, a child telling her that there was no spoon... or Tommy for that matter.

"I love you, girl." He said it again. This was real.

She suddenly felt week, like she would slip out of his grasp and fall to the floor. Her grip on him intensified, crushing him against her.

"I... I love you too..." She pulled away from him, staring at him deeply. Her bottom lip trembled, not because she was about to cry but from sheer adrenaline. "So... we're... together? Officially... sort of?"

Tommy laughed huskily, turning and walking them towards Studio B.

"Yeah, girl. I mean," he stopped, looking at her. "We'll have to keep things quiet for now, but we're... it."

Time passed fluidly and everything returned to its predestined schedule. Little was said about the couple despite Tommy's newfound openness. After the eruptive day with Victoria and his lovely profession, he seemed to not care much about what people saw. He'd take her into a tight embrace in front of Georgia and EJ or steal a quick kiss in front of Kwest. Jude enjoyed it – possibly appreciated it – but it was hard to comprehend. She settled on taking it, loving it, and refusing to question it.

Things for Jude turned to silent contempt, the eye of the hurricane. She went out of her way to distance herself from Sadie, her mother, and the house she "cohabitated" with them in. Sadie was the easiest. Save for the awkward mornings in the bathroom, she was MIA. Victoria was another matter. Jude took to damn-near sleeping at the studio, blaming the tight timeline of her new album on every past curfew evening. The story worked more times than not – in part because Georgia backed her up – but Victoria flipped every now and then when she got tired of the broken-record excuses. For the most part, though, everything went down without incident; just another blip on the routine radar.

It had been 15 days since Jude and Tommy reconnected. Seventeen days since the excursion. Eighteen days since the episode. Jude knew. She kept track of track of things like that. Jaime and Kat used to jokingly call her "The Rain Man" with dates and numbers. The tracking gave her a sense of normalcy. Maybe her kind of normal, but it wasn't so bad. No major fights. No one deciding to escalate the silent war. No life-altering disruption. Just... Jude's normal.

Jude walked around her end of Toronto, taking in the air and the silver clouds that had decided to hang around for the day. Those clouds, though depressing to most, gave her some sort of solace. It was an unexplainable feeling, but she liked them. It made her feel quiet. It made her voices quiet.

Her phone rang. So much for silence. The number seemed foreign to her; she didn't recognize any part of it. She flipped it open without hesitation.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jude." Jude froze at the voice and the phrase. It was the only person who could use it and escape without harm. She swallowed hard. So much for solace.

"Hey, Dad..." Her voice came in monotone. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to call and... uh... see how you were." His voice seemed tired, scratchy. It wasn't the 'Stuart' Jude remembered.

"I'm alright." Jude stretched her neck, questions for her father growing with the seconds. "You have odd timing."

"How do you mean?"

"Nothing." Jude looked around for a spot to sit down, the curb being the most opportune location. "Come on, Dad. Why'd you really call?" She hadn't talked to her dad in so long, conversing now irritated her.

Stuart half sighed, half growled.

"You're mother called me."

Jude busted out laughing.

"Great! What did she have to say? Did she tell you the same thing she's telling everyone, that me and Tommy are making love children in the back of his car?"

"Not exactly, but something very similar." He sighed again. "Listen, I know things haven't been the same for us and I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I can't take back everything I've done; it's just what it is, but I do love you Jude and I don't want your mother to... do anything to hurt you. So I have to ask – are you and Tommy anything at all?"

Something about his tone off put her. Blame the overbearing anxiety surging through his words or the fact that he was calling her after so long and questioning her about Tommy, she couldn't place it and it was beginning to eat at her.

"Dad, calm down. Let's start from the beginning. You're right. Things haven't been the same. I was mad for a long ass time, but I don't know. The anger turned south and morphed into a dull ache. I figured out that it wasn't your cheating that hurt, but the fact that you left me. I've gotten over it, for the most part." Her inner voice screamed at her for understating everything she'd felt over the past year. She pushed it aside, wanting to get to his question so she could gloss over everything and make sure he wouldn't be on her back. "As for mom – what did she say she was going to do?"

"Nothing in particular. Just made a lot of threats, screamed a lot, etc. It just didn't sound like she cared about how it would affect you as long as her mind was at ease."

Jude adjusted her legs, tucking them in towards the curb so she could get into a more comfortable position. This could take a minute.

"Fair enough. Mom has... issues right now. I'm almost numb to it. I mean, I'm scared sometimes that she could do something bad – call the cops on Tommy, get him fired, yank me from my contract with G Major – and when I think about it, it does kind of hurt. I just try not to think about it." She laughed to herself. "I think I do that with most things though. That or I'm over-analyzing everything to the point of insanity."

She'd forgotten how easy it was for her to talk to her dad. She wasn't even trying to talk with him; it just happened. She smiled as she recollected the discussions they'd have over his record collection, arguing over who was better – The Beatles or The Clash, Jude always picking the latter. Those were the times when things were easy. Times that were far beyond revisiting.

"Jude?" Stuart kicked her out of her memories. "About you and Tommy?"

"Nothing. Absolutely... nothing." Her insides flipped and turned against her lying, but it was true on some levels. They were nothing to everyone else but them.

"For the sake of telling of you, either way, I don't care."

The irritation that has dissipated earlier was returning to her.

"That's nice to know, that you don't care." She left the end of her sentence sharp, hoping it'd cut through him.

"I didn't mean it like that, honey."

"Then how did you mean it?"

"If you and Tommy are anything other than just musical partners, I'm ok with it."

"Really?" She blurted it out before she could think how it might implicate her.

"Yes. I just need to know the truth so I can help you tackle your mother."

Jude couldn't help but sigh. She wanted to believe he was genuine, but this was her father. Not to say that he was a dishonest man or that he'd intentionally set out to hurt her, but fathers protect their daughters. That's just what they're supposed to do. And what if he wanted to know just so he could make Tommy go away? What if he found a way to get Tommy in trouble? What if... Jude, just tell him. Again, the voice was talking to her, cutting short the possibilities.

She leaned her chin to her knees, giving the last rights to her thoughts. Maybe her head was right. Maybe he wouldn't betray her. She wouldn't know if she didn't tell him. She bit the corner of her lip and closed her eyes, taking careful consideration of her words.

"There is something going on."

"Ok..." He let his words trail, egging her to go on.

"He didn't pressure me to do anything. In fact, it's probably the exact opposite. We haven't slept together. Nothing bad is happening." She sat up, pushing the hair from her face, focusing on the distance. "I love him, Dad." She felt oddly content telling him. She waited for a synonymous version of her mother to emerge from him.

"I know you do, Jude."

"Do you? Do you know that he loves me too?"

"On some levels, yes."

Before she could stop herself, she was putting it all out on the table.

"He makes me so happy and he cares for me so much. He cares for me in ways Shay and, I don't think, Jaime ever could. Sometimes, when it's just me and him in the studio, he'll do something as simple as put his arm around my shoulder and kiss the top of my head and he'll look at me and smile his wonderful smile and at that moment, I know it's destiny. We're meant for each other. The way he talks to me and looks at me and just says my name... I know he loves me. He's said it, but he doesn't have to. I just feel it. I know he wants me and it feels good. And I never want it to stop. Ever." Jude stopped herself, panting as she'd run out of air halfway through her confession. No one knew about her and Tommy. No one knew about her feelings or his and to finally get it out was pure relief. Relief felt short-lived, though. The line remained silent, her words hanging in the air. "Dad?"

"I want you to be happy, Jude. I also want you to know that I'll support you and him with all of this."

She felt on the verge of tears. Someone was finally happy for her and was okay with everything.

"You can't tell anyone."

"I won't. I promise."

"Thank you... for calling." Her voice shook from everything. "Next time, though, don't wait so long to call. I love you, Dad. Really. And... everything that happened? Let's just put it to rest. I've... missed you."

"I've missed you too, Jude. When you're next performance?"

She smiled and laughed, feeling as if her old dad was back.

"I have something next week. You can come if you want."

"I wouldn't miss it."

She stood up from her improvised Indian-style position, stretching the kinks from her legs. She glanced down at her watch, hating that she had to cut the conversation short.

"I've gotta go, though."

"Alright, honey. Remember, though. If you need anything – to talk, to ask for something, anything – I'm right here. It's gonna be okay. You and Tommy are going to be okay."

"Thanks, Dad... for everything..."