A/N: KotOR continues to inspire me and the stories just keep coming! This is another semi-fluffly and rather silly story that I couldn't help but write after hearing Atton's Pazaak conversation regarding "Nar Shaddaa Rules". In case you're wondering, the name of my Exile is "Glili DeGuerre" and her first name is pronounced glee-lee. As always, reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Atton Rand or The Exile (they belong to Obsidian Entertainment, respectively). However, the name "Glili DeGuerre" is all mine.
All was quiet on the Ebon Hawk as Glili DeGuerre sat on her bed, intently reading a book that Mical had lent to her. There really wasn't much to do, as nearly all of the crew had left on various errands, leaving the Jedi in peace for once. As she began reading a particularly interesting chapter about Force Healing, Atton burst through the door, shamelessly letting his presence be known. Glili didn't bother looking up from her book.
Well, so much for peace… she thought bitterly to herself.
"You know, you really should stop barging into the girls' dormitory like that. What if I were changing or something?"
Atton grinned. "I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, eh?"
She stopped reading for a moment to regard Atton with a rather disgusted expression.
"You're sick. You do know that, right?"
"Yep, and that's why you love me."
"Love is a strong word. It's more like some sort of pitiful affection."
"Call it what you will, but you can't deny that I'm irresistible." Atton continued to smile cockily as he strutted over to the bed and sat down beside Glili. "So, are you doing anything important?"
"I'm reading. Are you blind?"
Atton grabbed the book from her hands as Glili scowled at him and tried to snatch it back, but he held it just out of her reach.
"101 Ways to Further Improve Your Oneness with the Force." Atton read the title aloud and began flipping through the pages as his nose crinkled in distaste. "How boring… wait a second… isn't this one of Disciple's books? You actually read this crap?"
Glili finally grabbed it back from him, as she returned the book to its proper place. "He has a name, you know. And it's actually quite a good read. Picking up a book every once and a while might do you some good."
"Ah, reading is over-rated. Who needs books when you have Pazaak?" Atton conveniently pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket and waved them in her face, as Glili frowned.
"Is that what this is about? You bothered me so we could play Pazaak?"
"C'mon, it'll be fun. I promise I'll go easy on you."
Glili crossed her arms in a defensive gesture. "Oh, so now you think I can't beat you at a game of cards without you going easy on me?"
Atton laughed to himself. "No offense, but you're been playing for what, a few months now? And I've been playing almost all of my life. The odds are not in your favor. Heck, I doubt even The Force could help you."
Glili's eyes narrowed in mock-anger. "Oh, that's it. You mess with The Force and you mess with me. It's on, flyboy."
A grin once again spread across Atton's face as he sat cross-legged across from Glili and began to shuffle the cards.
"Standard Rules?"
Glili shook her head. "I can't. I'm all out of credits."
"Darn. I was hoping to make a quick buck. Republic Senate rules, then?"
"Nope… too boring. I mean, we have to make this interesting somehow…" Glili thought for a moment and her expression turned devious. "How about we play with Nar Shaddaa Rules?"
Atton immediately stopped shuffling the cards and his eyebrows rose in interest.
"Are you kidding me? You never agree to play with Nar Shaddaa rules…"
"Well, I don't think the others will be back for awhile, so we have some time. You don't mind, do you?"
"Heck, if it involves you taking your clothes off, I have no objections! But you know, if you're really desperate to shed some clothing, cards aren't entirely necessary…and there's no one else on board except the robots…"
"Shut up and play, Atton."
"Right…"
Glili pulled out her side-deck, putting on her best game-face, and the games began. In the first round, Atton reached 20 and Glili stood at 17. She smiled good-naturedly as Atton considered which article of clothing she should take off first.
"Lose the robe."
She shrugged, throwing her robe onto the floor near the bed.
"It's only my robe," she stated indifferently. "And we still have a long way to go."
The game continued and much to Atton's delight, Glili lost the next 4 rounds, causing her to lose her belt, both of her boots, and her outer tunic. Atton had a disgustingly smug look upon his face as he grinned lecherously at her.
"What are you smiling about?" she asked, as her tunic fell into the growing pile of clothing. "I wear less than this when I'm in my pajamas."
Atton continued to smirk. "Yeah, but each piece of clothing you loose is one step closer to seeing you naked! And it doesn't look like my winning streak is going to stop any time soon. I told you that you wouldn't stand a chance!"
She scowled at him and silently wondered why she had suggested playing in the first place.
"Don't get too comfortable in your clothes, Atton. The game is still young."
"Yeah, yeah… you're all talk. Put your cards where your mouth is and let's see some real action."
In the next round, Atton only reached 15 and Glili scored a 20. She smiled widely, happy that she had finally won again.
"Take off the jacket, Atton."
He obeyed, throwing off his jacket, but he still looked rather smug.
"Hey, I'm not worried. It was inevitable that you'd win at least one game, right?"
"Oh, you just wait…"
They continued playing and Glili proceeded to win the next 5 consecutive rounds, much to Atton's dismay. Atton lost both of his shoes, his gloves and his belt… and he had little left to loose. A rather pleased expression was upon Glili's face as she drew a ten, winning her 6th round in a row.
"I think it's time for you to lose the shirt of yours, flyboy," she taunted playfully.
Atton's jaw nearly dropped. "How the heck are you doing that? Nearly every other card you've drawn is a 10… you must be cheating!"
"I guess The Force is with me today. I told you not to mess with me! Now lose the shirt and let's see some skin!"
His cocky grin returned as he slowly removed his shirt and threw it into the ever-growing pile, bearing his well-toned torso.
"Now, don't get too distracted by my incredible body…"
Glili scoffed at him as she shuffled the cards. "Heh… yeah, you wish. You seem to forget the fact that you're currently wearing less clothing than me. I hope you've got underwear on under those pants of yours, because they're going to be off in a minute or two."
"Are you that desperate to get my pants off, Glili? Isn't that against some sort of Jedi code or something?"
Her eyes narrowed once again and at that moment she had an incredible urge to smack him upside the head, but she restrained herself and the next game began. It was getting increasingly intense, as neither of them had the desire to strip down completely. Or at least if they did, they didn't show it openly…
In the next match, Atton drew a ten and scored a 20 and Glili only made it to 16. She cursed under her breath as Atton shouted a celebratory "Yes!" and he rubbed his chin in mock thought, considering which piece of clothing she would lose next.
"That shirt of yours has to go, babe," he stated in a sickeningly condescending manner.
Glili took off her tunic and angrily threw it at Atton's face.
"Hey, no need to get defensive about it!" he yelled, placing her tunic onto its rightful place on the ground. "Now we're even. Well, not quite… because you still have a bra on..." Not surprisingly, his eyes fell upon her chest. This time, Glili didn't hold herself back as she smacked him across the face.
"Ouch!"
"Eyes up here, pal," she threatened, gesturing to her face as Atton rubbed his sore cheek. "This game's not over yet and you need to focus."
There was tension in the air as the last critical rounds played out. Atton and Glili were focused completely on Pazaak. The Ebon Hawk itself could have erupted into flames around them, and neither of them would have noticed, as they were so engrossed with their game. Atton stood at 19, as he silently hoped that Glili would lose. Her score was currently 18 and she needed a +2 card to win. He watched Glili in anticipation as she took a painstakingly long time in drawing her last card. Against all odds, she drew a +2 and Atton yelled in disbelief as she proudly laid it down.
"Unbelievable!" he shouted. "What are the odds!"
Glili grinned triumphantly. "Apparently, the odds are against you today, Atton. Say goodbye to your pants!"
Atton grumbled as he stood next to the bed and undid his pants, letting them fall to the ground as a rather disturbing pair of underwear was revealed. For some unknown reason, they were of a faint pinkish hue. Glili whistled at him before erupting into a fit of laughter. It was a ridiculous sight to see him standing there in only a pair of pink underwear and she just couldn't contain herself.
Atton was clearly offended, as he placed his hands upon his hips. "What's so damn funny?"
"Where'd you get that underwear, Atton?" she snickered. "Have you been bartering with the salvagers on Dantooine?"
"Hey! They weren't always this color… I washed them with one of my red shirts and the dye stained everything. It wasn't my fault!"
Glili continued to laugh hysterically and Atton's face became red with humiliation. In order to get back at her, he quickly gathered the pile of clothing from the ground and ran out of the room with it. Glili immediately stopped laughing as her expression became serious, and she pursued him down the hallway.
"Hey, get back here you son of a schutta! Everyone's going to be back soon and I need my clothes!"
They ran in circles for several minutes before she chased him into the Main Hold, where she tackled him, forcefully knocking him to the ground. Atton gave an audible "UMPH!" as their clothes flew from his hands, scattering themselves all over the floor. As they both fell, Glili landed on top of him with her legs unintentionally straddled over his hips. Atton looked up at her in a mild state of shock, but before either of them could utter a word, footsteps sounded from the other end of the room. Bao-Dur, Mical, and Mira appeared in the doorway, as they were obviously back from their errands. As they gazed upon the scene before them, the expressions upon their faces ranged from horror, to confusion, to utter amusement. Glili couldn't even fathom how terrible it must have looked… with her on top of Atton and their clothing spread all over the place…
Mical's mouth was hanging slightly open, as if he were looking upon something utterly repulsive and unclean.
"Oh my word… I don't even want to know…" he shook his head in disgust and walked off to the medbay where nobody could bother him.
"Wow, so much for the old teachings of Jedi self-control," Mira teased blatantly. "We were hardly gone for an hour…"
Glili quickly got off of Atton and they both stood up, clearly embarrassed.
"It's not what it looks like…" Atton stated defensively. "We were playing Pazaak."
Bao-Dur's eyebrows rose attentively. "If you were playing Pazaak, then where are all the cards?"
"We were playing in the dormitory before we moved out here, " Glili said innocently, picking up her robe and wrapping it around herself protectively.
Atton stared at Glili in disbelief as Mira and Bao-Dur burst into laughter, and Glili frowned deeply, realizing what her statement had implied.
"You guys are disgusting. I didn't mean it like that…"
"Hey, watch who you're calling disgusting," said Mira, as she came to stand next to her. "At least we're not the ones giving into temptation as soon as the coast is clear."
Glili was becoming increasingly frustrated as she released a sigh. "For the last time! We were playing Pazaak!"
"Yeah," chimed Atton. "Nothing happened!"
"Call it what you want, kids. Next time, just try to finish up before we get back." Mira patted both of them on the back good-naturedly as she walked past them and made her way into the cockpit.
"Yeah, it's really not something that we needed to see…" stated Bao-Dur, with a look of repulsion upon his face. "Especially you and those unusual undergarments of yours, Atton." He laughed again as he followed Mira towards the cockpit and Atton's face once again turned a distinct shade of red.
"They weren't always like that!" he protested angrily. "They used to be white!"
A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed, as Glili gathered her clothing off of the floor, and she waited until Bao-Dur and Mira were out of earshot before speaking again.
"Can you believe them?" Glili asked, once they were finally out of sight. "They actually thought that we… well, you know."
"What do you mean by that?" Atton seemed offended as his voice took on an uncertain tone.
"Oh, come on!" Glili gave a sardonic laugh, regarding him with disbelief. "You don't actually believe that- I mean that you and I would ever..."
Atton crossed his arms as Glili continued to laugh. "What, you don't think I'm good looking?"
"Just because you're good looking, doesn't mean I'd actually do that sort of thing…"
"Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?" Atton shrugged and a rather twisted grin spread across his face
Glili rolled her eyes, picking up the remainder of her belongings and heading off to her dormitory.
"Keep dreaming, Atton… Keep dreaming…"
I hope you enjoyed this little piece of fiction, because I certainly enjoyed writing it. I'm in the process of writing 3 more KotOR fics of drama/angst/romance genres, so make sure you keep an eye out for them!