Salt in your wounds

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or any of the characters used, I don't own the song 'how' by the cranberries, they own it... obviously. I only own the plot, and I'm sure that has been used before at some point, so I have to say I only own the words placed in the exact order which is placed on my page.

Chapter

She is not alone

Hermione entered the Gryffindor common room and headed towards the girls dormitories, the common room was empty but would soon have students both new and old entering through the portrait of the fat lady after the feast.

She entered the dorm room that she shared with lavender and Pavarti, she shivered slightly as she walked towards the bed, she hadn't been able to sleep properly since it all started happening, she would wake screaming in the night in a cold sweat, wether she dreamed or not she would still remember each and every time she closed her eyes. She lifted back the curtains on her four poster bed and looked at the crimson and gold bed, 'crimson, the colour of blood'. She heard the two girls enter the room and she put on a fake smile and greeted them. They smiled at her and continued talking about makeup and clothes and their boyfriends.

Hermione didn't want to take her clothes off in front of them, she didn't want them to see the scars that littered her skin from her nights he tormented her, she remembered once when he had gotten angry with her and had belted in front of the other girls during his class, he left scars along her spine that wouldn't go away. She shivered at the memory.

"What's the matter Herm?" lavender asked seeing Hermione's vacant expression as she put on her pyjama pants, Hermione turned away from the girls and shrugged.

"Nothing, I'm just not tired, I think I'll go down to the common room and read for a bit." Lavender shrugged and when back to talking to Pavarti as she got into bed.

Down in the common room she sat in front of the fire curled up in a cushy arm chair gazing into the fire, she called for her Discman and it came down from her dorm, she sat in the empty common room gazing into the fire listening to the sad voice of 'the cranberries', she didn't usually listen to this kind of music but something about their songs made her feel safe and not alone, she sang along quietly to herself in the silent common room, nobody knew she sang, she was ashamed for some unknown reason of her talent. She absently stared into the flames as she sung quietly thinking about the world she once knew.

Look, you're standing alone
How ever I should have known
Never before, never again,
You will ignore, I will pretend.
Never before, never again,
You will ignore, I will pretend.

Why did she believe she had known what life was? Why hadn't she ever realised that there are so many things in life that she hadn't experienced yet, and that she didn't want to have to experience.

Maybe that's it, maybe she didn't want to acknowledge their existence because it would bring down her perfect life, it would bring her out of this bubble that she lived in.

In your world, you're alone in your face.
You're alone in your world; you're alone in your face.
How you said you never would leave me alone, oh.
How you said you never would leave me alone.

She thought silently about everything that had happened over the summer break, as she tried to stay awake to keep the dreams from invading her brain.

Every body ignore others pain, they believed they had enough troubles to deal with on their own without bringing other peoples pain in as well.


Now you're just walking away
When you said you always would stay
Never before, never again,
You will ignore, I will pretend.
Never before, never again,
You will ignore, I will pretend.

Take Harry for example he had lost his parents because of Voldmort, then he lost Sirius so he believed he was alone even though he had the worry and care from all the people that loved and believed in him. People took pity on him because he never knew his parents or how great they were.

In his mind he was alone in a world that he believed he was in charge of keeping safe, he went looking for the fights. Or more correctly they came looking for him, giving him ample warning and time to train.

In your world, you're alone in your face.
You're alone in your world, you're alone in your face.
How you said you never would leave me alone, oh.
How you said you never would leave me alone.

Where as Hermione didn't look or become warned about a drunken diver, she couldn't in any way have stopped her parent's death from happening, and she was left alone in a world where she had nothing. Not even her friends support. She wasn't warned at all about the orphanage and the nightly brigades of pain and suffering she was to live through, no she had no warning just the memories of the previous night that made her wither in pain and shake in fear. That wasn't much help to keep a man twice the size off of you.

Never before, never again,
You will ignore, I will pretend.
In your world, you're alone in your face.
You're alone in your world, you're alone in your face.

She was alone in this world wether she wished for help or not. People died, and others take advantage of peoples weaknesses, not caring if it's sadistic or wrong just as long as they had fun.


How you said you never would leave me alone, oh.
How you said you never would leave me alone

'People in this world are always alone' she thought bitterly and stood up walking from the common room out into the corridors of Hogwarts she didn't care wether she was caught or not being out after hours she didn't care about anything anymore.

Draco Malfoy entered the Slytherin common room later that evening and sat staring at the fire sitting in his usual seat away from everyone else. The common room filled as the feast ended but soon the students began drifting of to their dorms to their waiting beds. The same thing happened every night, eat, sleep and be merry, well as merry as Slytherin's can be.

It was nearing midnight when the last of the students retreated to their dorms.

"Another night of no sleep then draco?" a fellow seventh year William asked as he passed him on the way to the boys dorms.

During their sixth year William had found it nearly impossible to get to sleep and had found Draco sitting in the common room every night. They had become close during the longs nights but all would be forgotten come sunrise, and Draco would go back to being the Slytherin king and William would return to being a quiet rude individual during the day.

"Yes, I find it just plain dull staring at the same canopy each night" Draco replied not looking away from the fire.

"You know if you go and tell Pomfrey that you're an insomniac then she can fix it like that" he snapped his fingers for effect.

"I don't want to be cured, sleep is a waist of time and completely unnecessary" he replied bitterly. William shrugged and headed off to bed, muttering a 'whatever' leaving Draco to sit in silence.

Draco didn't move from his spot except when he got up quickly and got his sketch pad from his room and looked a pencil, before retreating back to his seat.

He sat and drew wordlessly a picture of a beautiful girl staring into a mirror, she looked perfectly happy. The reflection in the mirror was of the same girl but she was mutilated and bleeding, she had chains hanging from her wrists and ankles the reflections mouth was formed in a silent scream and her eyes were bleeding and seemed to be searching for help, draco sighed and looked at the picture that was now on his paper before writing under neither 'She is not alone is what she hides from the world.' And he switched to another page.

On this page he sat drawing an elegant rose being held by a hand, its thorns dug into the hand making it bleed, it looked so real that when Draco looked down at the picture he could almost feel the pain it was bringing.

Draco was no stranger to pain, both from himself and others. He once again traced the marks on his arms feeling comfort in knowing that nobody else brought gave them to him but himself.

Slowly without thinking he brought out a blade hidden within his pocket and played with it as he slowly stood up and walked out of the common room scraping his skin lightly as he walked along the halls. He reached the third floor and sat down in front of a picture of a dragon who was surrounded by bones and swords the dragon itself was asleep and looked perfectly at peace with the world, he hummed lazily to himself as he raised the blade to his wrist, he slowly pierced his skin letting blood flow out, he began slowly moving the blade down his wrist feeling the familiar wash of pain sweep over him as he watched his crimson red blood trickle down his arm he lifted the blade off his skin and looked at his wound, it was just like the others. He placed the blade onto his wrist again next to his last cut, and dug it deeper into himself watching the blood run faster he leaned his head back onto the cold stone wall behind him feeling wave after wave of slow numb pain creep up his arm.

Suddenly he heard footsteps coming they didn't sound like a teachers they were lighter and seemed to belong to somebody who didn't care in the least that they were out of their house way after curfew.

He slowly heard the footsteps coming closer then he felt a presence lean down next to him and his hand being lifted up off the floor where it rested.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Hermione's voice broke the silence.

"Of course it hurts" Draco said not opening his eyes.

"Then why do you do it?" she asked as she lifted him up off the floor,

"Because I'm making the pain, no body else" he whispered before he collapsed and leaned his full weight on her. She nodded silently to herself as she walked him to the infirmary, she understood what he meant.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Hermione called softly as she entered the hospital wing and placed Draco on a bed. She immediately appeared out of her office and walked towards the bed.

"Oh dear, not again" she muttered as she inspected Draco's wrist.

"You've healed his cuts before?" Hermione asked curiously,

"Yes dear, he's been doing it for almost a year now, but- Oh my," she stoped talking as she pulled up his sleeve and inspected the rest of his scars. "he started near the end of last school year, the poor dear he has so much inside him that he cant let out." That was all she said before she finished healing his scars and began cleaning up his blood. "Could you watch him for a moment please?" Hermione nodded and looked down at Draco's unconscious form.

Five minutes later draco woke up and looked around before resting his head on the pillow, "I guess I cut a little to deeply again hey Pom?" he said emotionless as madam Pomfrey approached him, she had a sour look on his face but didn't pester him. "What are you doing up this time of night any way granger?" Draco asked as he faced Hermione. She shrugged and looked down at him.

"Don't sleep all to well, thought I'd take a walk" he nodded and then got out of bed madam Pomfrey started to protest but he raised his hand and silenced her.

"I know I know, I shouldn't be up, yadda yadda yadda, you've said it all before" he said impatiently before he got up and headed towards the door before turning around and facing Hermione again, "thanks. Sorry if I scared you." Then walked out the door, being closely followed by Hermione.

"Why are you sorry if you scared me?" He turned and faced her.

"Well unless you see you enemy bleeding to death in the middle of the corridor a lot then I would have assumed you'd be a bit taken aback" he said shrugging and continued walking down the corridor but was stopped by her voice, it was full of sadness but also a small glint of hope and release.

"I always wanted to do that, cut myself and see how much I bleed, watch as my life slowly flow's out of me, I just could never do it, I would be scared that someone would walk in and freak, then send me to St. Mungo's or something." She whispered more to herself then to him. She looked at his now healed scars. He stepped closer, but for the first time she didn't step back she let him approach her.

"Why don't you ever try? Let all the pain and anger you hold come out of you, that's why I do it, just because I'm so fucking pissed at life I take it out on myself, let me be in control of the pain for a while." She looked up at his eyes, getting lost in the stormy silver orbs.

"Because I might not be able to stop" she said before slowly walking past him towards the Gryffindor tower.

Draco watched her leave and smiled softly at her retreating form. 'Maybe I'm not as alone as I thought' he thought before starting the walk back to the Slytherin dungeons.

A/N Well there you have it, the fourth chapter its going to get a bit interesting soon enough, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to all my reviewers, you know who you are.

Review or I won't up date ever again. But if you do update I'll have the next chapter up soon.