The countdown is official: 2 more chapters until we've reached the end of our journey. DAMN... I'm actually sad knowing that this is coming to an end. I've never produced any piece of chaptered writing that I've finished, and knowing I am... DAMN. (I actually have a killer story that was first created when I was 12 (1997). It has god knows how many parts, and it's never been finished.) I'm glad everyone here has enjoyed the work. I never thought it would be so well received and I thank everyone. I'm sorry I seem so melodramatic; this is just my baby that's about to like... end. UGH!
The sequel's title is still up in the air. I'm contemplating the title Lithium because we all know of Jude's obsession with Cobain, but who knows? I may just go all left of field and name it something that'll seriously have you asking, "WTF!" Ideas are still appreciated.
This chapter was kind of draining. I delved into a part of my psyche I haven't delved into in a long ass while, the words coming in a quick 10 minutes. It was also rewarding, though. I hope you find it as such.
On with it though... Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Chapter 29 / When She Says She Loves Me
Jude searched around the bathroom frantically. The voices came unmercifully louder; the room became unbearably smaller; the shadows had multiplied and stalked amongst hand towels and random bottles. It was time. It was time to end everything for good. She'd tried to block everything out and be the good soldier, to take her punishment and swallow their taunts and terrors. She failed miserably and knew the only way out was to give her final performance. It was go time; time to die.
It was easy in the beginning, dealing with the things that talked to her. At first, they helped her and try to make the best of things. They turned ugly, painting an even more horrid picture for her. What started as a whisper of one turned into a scream of many. What came to her in the middle of silence mutated into an overshadowing presence that woke her up at night, sobbing. Then they became visuals, lurking in her closet or in the sound booth of Studio B. She saw them, gnarled teeth and black eyes, peering behind Tommy's shoulder or sitting beside her mother at the dinner table. Just a common consciousness twisted around into an omnipresent beast, devouring everything around her.
"Dear Mom... I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I can't take it anymore." She sobbed against the injustice, opening drawers and doors. "Dear Sadie... You weren't that bad. I'm sorry that I've hurt you over the years."
She opened the linen closet, throwing things left and right. Her hands traced over the soft terry folds of the bath sheets, her fingers playing with the silkiness of Tommy's Egyptian cotton sheets. She grabbed one of the flat sheets, holding it to her face and breathing deeply. Her tears intensified, the scent of him upping the urgency.
"Dear Dad... I will forever love you. Yvette wasn't that bad." She grabbed the corners of the cloth, spreading it out to its king sized dimensions. "Dear Kwest... I know you told. It's ok. You were a good friend. Dear Georgia... Thank you so much for not taking Tommy from me."
Her judgment was sharp and swift, gripping onto the fabric and ribbing a long strip from it. It looked like a free flowing stream of sapphire, pooling and bunching on the cold floor. She walked to the shower stall, making an adjustable loop in the end of her ribbon. She stood on her tip toes, wrapping the loop around the shower head, and pulling it tightly into a knot.
"Dear Kat... Jaime... My beautiful friends. It was all my fault. I did this. You were always the best." Jude sniffled loudly, wrapping the loose end of the strip around her neck. She tied it deftly into a secure noose, his aroma still present against her nose. "Dear Tommy... I hope that one day you can forgive me. I never wanted you to see me like this. I am crazy. I'm so crazy it hurts for you to see it. I love you and I always will, even in death. I hope to see you again one day..."
Jude slid down the back wall of the stall, the noose growing tighter and tighter. She couldn't breathe, every gulp of air a struggle to take it. She felt the blood pounding in her head, her eyes feeling as if they'd explode any minute. The nozzle creaked from her weight, the room blurring and spinning out of control. The water control lever dug into the back of her head. Everything was going black, her lips moving to form the last sentence she would ever make.
"I love you all..." She faintly heard arguing in the back ground, the last bit of consciousness draining from her body. Everything was finally quiet, nothing haunting her.
Her body went limp, falling the rest of the way to the floor. Mission completed.
"If you don't fucking mind, I'm going to go check on Jude! If she wasn't fucked up before, she probably is now!" Tommy stormed off in the direction of the bathroom, leaving the family to continue their battle. He turned the knob of the bathroom door, and peeked around the edge. "Jude, I'm coming in. Jude?"