Salt in your wounds

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or any of the other characters or the places or anything this plot is mine but that's about it.

I don't own the music, the first song.... (That she sings to herself along with the C.D) is 'war all the time' by Thursday and the second song is... 'The road I'm on' by Three doors down.

CHAPTER

Perfect

Hermione entered the Gryffindor common room about an hour before dinner started. Each head looked up when she entered but they all soon returned to what they where previously doing upon realising that it wasn't anything to do with them.

'Alone is this world that I hide from within the covers of sound and thought, helpless to the lies that creep within the skin' she smiled blandly to herself thinking how true the words rang.

Harry and Ron waved her over towards where they sat playing chess.

"Hey Herm. Where were you last class? You missed the Perpertrosis charm. We have to do an essay on it." Ron said as she sat down and faced the flames that warmed her chilled body. Harry turned away from the chess set as his knight got smashed.

"Yeah Hermione where were you? We were looking for you" Hermione didn't look away, she was thinking about what Draco had said about how they didn't notice a thing. Her worst enemy of six years noticed her pain and her best friends didn't.

"No where" she stated not looking away from the fire that seemed so welcoming.

"Oh come on, just tell me where you were, it's not that hard." Harry persisted. 'Sitting on the edge of the astronomy tower with your worst enemy contemplating what would happen if I jumped' she thought bitterly.

"Maybe it bloody well is" she replied but didn't raise her voice, not even changing her expression.

"We were looking for you" Ron stated

"Why? So you could borrow my homework? Or maybe a quill? Did you lose your book again and need me to lend you mine?" she said in the same monotone as before. Harry and Ron looked at each other before looking back at her.

"No, that's not it; we just wondered where you were. We're your friends we're allowed to worry about your well being." Harry said placing a hand on her shoulder. She immediately tensed up and shook it off.

"Please" she said in a whisper looking down at her hands that sat in her lap. "Don't touch me" before she stood up and moved towards the girls dormitories. Harry and Ron both shrugged before returning back to finish their game. They'd deal with her later; they thought cheerfully thinking it wasn't any big deal.

"Hermione open up" the voice of Harry called through the hard wood of the dorm door, Hermione sat sullenly rocking backwards and forwards steadily to the rhythm of the music that filled her room.

"Herm!! Open up, we need to talk to you" Ron stated trying to pull the locked door open.

"Standing on the edge of the palisades cliffs in the shadow of the skyline very far away a lightning rod that couldn't pull the storm from me" Hermione sung softly to the new song that started playing, she sung along as she walked slowly across the room towards the locked door. "Come back later, I'm tired and I want to go to bed" she called through to her two friends.

"No! Hermione Granger open this door this moment, we need to talk about this" Hermione sighed softly and opened the door letting her friends enter her sanctuary

"Why did you tell us you moved rooms?" Ron asked curiously as he bounced lightly on the bed. Hermione shrugged and mumbled

"I thought you knew" Harry turned and faced her from where he was standing viewing the room.

"How could we? You never talk to us anymore! We don't know where you are half the time" with this statement Hermione felt anger brew in the pit of her stomach

"How can I talk to you?! You're both to busy snogging your bloody girlfriends to notice jack about me!" she yelled as she slammed the door closed. "How long was it before you noticed I wasn't there? How long before you wondered where I had got to?" she yelled again as she stood in the middle of the room. Harry and Ron mumbled something but she couldn't hear what it was.

The music kept playing in the background soothing Hermione as she looked in distaste at her two friends. "I'm sorry I didn't catch that," she said sarcastically

"we thought you were in the library" Ron said bravely Hermione closed her eyes and nodded to the music slowly calming herself, 'How long would it take them to find me' she heard her own voice echo in her head and then the bitter reply from draco 'As long as it takes for them to notice your absence' she shook her head and felt the rage envelope her.

"How the hell should we know that you weren't? We barely know where you are!" Harry shouted.

"I never know where you are! If you were really my friends then you would ask me where I go before I go there. Then you'd know where to find me! I don't bombard you with stupid questions and accusations about where you should be!" Hermione shouted back.

"Ask you? Like you ever ask us." Hermione nearly spat when he said this.

"I always ask you, you're just too thick to comprehend a simple question, that or you ignore me completely and continue fucking around with your girlfriends in public!" Harry narrowed his eyes and his face became red as he spat in indignation.

"We don't need to ask you! Where the hell else would you be? It's not like you had a fucking boyfriend! Your nothing but a bloody bookworm you bloody belong in the library" Harry clapped his hands over his mouth as he realised what he had said, "I'm so-" Hermione raised her hand and broke the bitter silence that filled the room-he had gone too far.

"Don't apologise, don't you dare say you're sorry! Get out Harry James potter! Get the hell out" she didn't look at him again just pointed to the door, Harry didn't move, Ron sat in silence on the bed, no hint of a smile was present on his face.

She said life's a lot to think about sometimes
When you're living in between the lines
And all the stars are sparkling, shine everyday
He said life's so hard to move in sometimes
When it feels like I'm in the line
And no one even cares to ask me why I feel this way

A new song began playing as Hermione felt the anger that had left her moments ago and had been replaced with sadness and betrayal, begin to return. Because of her friends stubbornness to leave.

"What are you fucking deaf? I said leave!" Harry didn't more

"Hermione I didn't mean it. I'm sorry-" Hermione shook her head and glared a him.

"Just shut up and leave! Go back to your fucking girlfriends. If you think of me like that then just continue, ignore me like you usually do! Just use me for fucking homework like you usually do!" she said as she literally pushed them out the door.

And I know you feel helpless now, and I know you feel, hold on

That's the same road, the same road that I'm on, yeah

Hermione sat down on the bed again thinking about what just happened. 'Everything just keeps getting better and better' Hermione sat alone in her bedroom looking through the window at the grounds below.

Hermione turned around from the view out the window when she heard a knock on the door followed by professor McGonagall's shrill voice.

"Ms Granger I would like to speak with you for a moment if you please" Hermione stood straight away neatening her robes and calling an unlocking spell towards the door allowing her head of house entrance.

"Of course professor" she called softly. Professor McGonagall entered looking around the small room for Hermione, soon finding her standing obediently next to her bed.

"I'm coming to inform you that you and the head boy are required to dinner with a couple of representatives of the school councils and educational ministers. There will be one muggle teacher, two ministry officials along with Mr Fudge and headmasters from two other wizarding schools" Hermione nodded dutifully

"I am aware of this, you told us before." The professor nodded and took a step forward

"Yes, I've just come to ask you a favour" she paused and it seemed like she wasn't going toy continue, Hermione raised an eyebrow slowly wondering what the favour was. McGonagall cleared her throat before continuing. "yes, I was wondering if you could look after Mr Malfoy, I fear he may... act inappropriately and I think it would be best if he behaved himself both for the reputation of the school and professor Dumbledore" Hermione nodded and suppressed a small smile.

"Yes Professor I will make sure that Malfoy doesn't ruin this and make the school look bad." Professor McGonagall nodded and let out a small smile before leaving closing the door behind her.

Once the door was closed and she had heard the teachers retreating footsteps Hermione let out a loud cry of frustration that filled the room drowning out the music.

What you thought was real in life, somehow steer you wrong
And now you just keep trying and trying to find where you belong

I know you feel helpless now, I know you feel, hold on
That's the same, the same road that I'm on

"Why the hell is it always Malfoy that's going to ruin it all? Why is it Harry and Ron who are always going to break the rules, why the fuck do they always have to rely on me?! Bloody trustworthy me!" she said in between loud shouts of frustration. "Why cant I bend the rules? Or even snap them? Why the hell does everyone believe I'm so bloody trustworthy?!" she pulled her hangings down from her four poster bed trowing them across the room before ripping off the sheets of her neatly made bed and kicking the wall angrily and tipping over her bedside table. "Why the hell so I always have to be so fucking perfect!?" she yelled again as she threw all her books across the room from where they lay.

Soon Hermione lay crumpled in a small pile in the middle of her room surrounded by clothes and makeup and books. She wept to herself as she whispered through her heart renching sobs "why me? Why the hell do I always have to be perfect? Why cant I be bad? Why does everyone see me as a freak and a perfectionist? I'm not perfect so why do people think I am?" Soon she drifted off into an uneasy sleep missing dinner.

Hermione stayed in the same spot until late that night when she was woken by a small house elf that came to clean her room. I know I know

"Miss should be at the hospital wing" the small elf stated as he helped her crumpled body off the floor

"No really that isn't necessary I'm perfectly fine." The elf shook her head ruthfully

"No miss, you will go to the hospital wing" Hermione sighed softly as she let the small elf take her to the infirmary.

A/N another chapter done, I'll have another one on soon. And I'm completely aware that there was no Draco in this chapter but don't worry he'll be in the next.

Review it please I want to know what you think. Just no flames- constructive criticism is welcome just not flames (I'm flame phobic)

P.S I'm sorry if you think Harry and Ron are a little out of character, but in truth I don't think that I'm THAT far off the mark, so if you think I've completely destroyed Harry and JK would shake her head in shame then tell me and I'll make him more emotional and observant to herms feelings. (I could always blame it on his PMS.)

Thanks every one who reviews (ed) your all darlings.

And sorry to my darling proof reader –lost in his eyes- didn't have time for you to proof read it sorry Hun, but I'm going to send you the next one as soon as I can.