He stopped and turned to her.
"I whish I could do anything to make this easier for you…but I can't, right?"
She shook her head.
"I'm scared too, you know. I don't want to hurt you, and Susan said I might."
Erin took a deep breath. She didn't want to cause problems.
"It's okay. I can deal with a little pain."
"I know you can. But you shouldn't have to. You've had more than enough if it, in my
opinion."
She didn't comment on that, but started walking towards the "Morning Glory" again.
Since she had decided she would stay for a while and she didn't feel she had the slightest
chance to convince Gibbs to forget about the matter, she might as well go for it.
Gibbs again had to give her credit for her courage.
He started walking after her.
"I guess it's not pain that bothers you so much…"
She stopped again. How could he know?
"I understand that in your past life it was vital for you, never to trust anyone. And judging
from what you told me after dinner I suppose you never did. You see, trust is not something
we're born with – we have to learn it. And that takes a while."
She didn't move, didn't look up, but he knew she listened to him.
"Try to see it from a logical point of view. Given you don't consider me to be a liar, you
know that I want you to stay. Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to take advantage of
you then?"
Erin thought about that for a moment. No, she didn't think he was a liar. So far he hadn't tried
to trick her. She believed that he wanted her to stay and for some reason she couldn't
name yet, she wanted to stay too.
"I guess not."
"I guess you're right. Can we go now? "
"Okay."
Back on the boat when she was on the way to her cabin he said:
"Leave a t-shirt on. I'll be with you in five minutes."
She changed and used the remaining time to get in her "do-whatever-you-want-to-me" mood.
Meanwhile Gibbs sat on the birth on the starboard side in the salon. He wasn't looking
forward to his next task. He admired her for her strength. Even in the current situation, being
all new and frightening for her, she was really handling herself well. He could hardly imagine
what she would be like relaxed and feeling safe.
When Gibbs entered the cabin after having knocked on the door, he found her resting on her
tummy.
He sat beside her and gently laid his hand on her back, leaving her the protection of the t-shirt
at his first contact.
She held her breath.
He started to move his hand now, without applying any pressure.
She whished he would talk to her and make it easier to keep her mind on the present and not
drift back into the black holes of her past.
"Hey, don't forget to breathe," he softly reminded her.
She took a deep breath.
"That's better. I'm going to push that t-shirt up now, ok?"
He didn't really expect her to answer and slowly did what he had told her.
He needed all his skill in self-control to remain relaxed when confronted with the marks her
life had left on her, again.
He kept his voice low.
"Okay now, since I don't know how this will feel for you, please tell me if you want me to
stop."
He poured some of the liniment Susan had provided him with, into his hand and started to
gently massage it into her scars.
A voice inside her head said "stop", but she didn't let it be heard. She didn't react at all. He
treated her with so much care, there was hardly any pain.
"Let's make this a general rule: You say stop and I'll stop. Applicable in every possible
situation."
He poured some more liniment and worked his way up to the brand.
"Why does it have to be a "G", for God's sake?" he thought.
"I hope, that one day you can tell me, who did that."
When he was finished he pulled the t-shirt back down. He covered her with her blanket.
"Rest now. See you tomorrow."
With that, he got up and left the cabin.
Next morning, after a sleepless night, she left her cabin when she heard Gibbs handling mugs
in the pantry.
She climbed up the stairs into the cockpit,
"Good morning" Gibbs said with a smile, "How do you feel?"
She had not wanted to, but their eyes met for a second, before she looked away.
"I'm fine, thanks."
She had never seen eyes like his before. They talked to her. She just didn't know the
language.
"I'm on my way to the club-house, want to join me?"
"Sure."
She already carried everything she needed.
Back on the boat, they had coffee and Gibbs asked her what she wanted for breakfast.
"Nothing", she replied, "I've never been able to eat in the morning."
So he just got a bowl of cereals for himself and sat in the cockpit to eat.
It was almost 0800 now. Erin opened one of the closets under the benches and got the flag
out.
"Have you been on boats before?" Gibbs asked, already knowing the answer now. How else
would she know you had to fly the flag from 8am till sundown?
"Yes, occasionally."
He nodded to the stern staff.
While Erin fastened the flag, he took his bowl down to the pantry.
Back in the cockpit he addressed Erin.
"Time for boat maintenance routine now."
She opened the compartment, the flag had been in again, took out the scrubber and a bucket
with a line tied to it and turned to Gibbs.
"You want to clean the deck?" he asked her.
It came to her mind that maybe she had better waited for him to tell her what he wanted her
do. She shouldn't have worried.
"Go ahead."
While fastening a cleat that had come loose, he watched how skilful Erin handled the "bucket
on the leash".
"So much for 'occasionally' ", he thought.
They worked on small repair jobs for the next hours, Erin helping where ever she could. She
was careful to never get in his way, never get too close.
Gibbs noticed that she was good working with her hands and handling tools, which he liked a
lot. And that she seemed to enjoy it, which he liked even more.
Finished, they stowed away the tools.
"Let's go up to the club, grab some sandwiches and something to drink and find us a nice
place for a lunch-break."
After picking up the sandwiches, coffee for Gibbs and a coke for Erin they went over to the
Lighthouse at the end of the pier.
"We can sit and eat over there." Gibbs motioned towards a small stone wall.
They did without much talking.
When they were finished Gibbs looked at Erin.
"I had planned to go to the gym this afternoon to work out and get back in shape. But I don't
have to. I'm not sure whether I want to leave you here alone."
Erin couldn't help but think that he seemed to be in pretty good shape already. And she saw
the chance to take a nap, while he was gone – if he would go.
"I'll be fine. I'll just read a book or watch the boats, no need to worry."
She sounded like she meant what she said and he didn't want to be overprotective.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, absolutely."
"Okay then, let's get back to the boat for me to pick my stuff up and get going, so I won't be
back too late."
Having arrived on the "Morning Glory", he pulled out a card and put it on the navigation
table.
"My cell-phone number is on here. You can call me any time and I'll be back in like fifteen
minutes."
"Will do." Erin said, knowing she never would.
"If for any reason you want to leave the boat, please lock it and leave the key at the counter in
the club-house."
He noticed the knot that formed in his stomach, when he thought about her maybe not being
here anymore, when he came back. But then – he had told her she could leave when ever she
wanted to, and he always kept his promises.
She knew exactly what was on his mind. He had been so friendly towards her; she felt she
should give something in return.
"I'll be here," she said with the indication of a smile on her face and in her voice.
Instead of giving in to his intension of going over to her and giving her a hug he grabbed his
bag and stepped off the boat.
"See you in a few hours then."
"Bye!"
Erin watched him until he got out of sight.
Seated in his car, Gibbs sat quiet for a while, wondering about what was going on with him.
How could she have grown to be so important to him in just two days? Of course he wanted to
help her; he had always loved to help and care for people. But, being honest to himself, he had
to admit that this was much more. Even the word "love" entered his mind, when thinking
about Erin. And that was not him. It was not a Gibbs thing to head-over-heals fall in love. But
if it wasn't, then why did it feel so right? Why did it feel so god damn good?
Back on the boat, Erin didn't waste any time. She was in her berth as soon as Gibbs was out
of sight. Over the years, she had trained herself to wake up every hour, so that she wouldn't
enter the R.E.M. phase of sleep. This way she could avoid the worst dreams. After her third
turn of sleep, she got up. She didn't want to let Gibbs catch her asleep.
She went up to the club-house to go to the bathroom and maybe pick up a book from the
library.
When Gibbs came back, he stepped on board and didn't see Erin. He didn't want to startle her
by appearing without a warning.
"Erin?"
No answer.
Starting to worry he went down the hatchway, quickly looked around, checked Erin's cabin
and had to realize she wasn't there.
"She wouldn't do that," he reassured himself, "She wouldn't leave without a word, especially
not after promising to be here."
He got out into the cockpit again and saw her walking down the pier. His heart leaped.
Erin noticed the expression on his face from a distance.
Having arrived at the boat she said:
"I told you I'd be here."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that I…"
He caught himself before confessing something that she wouldn't be able to put up with yet.
"Want to go for a walk and look at the boats?" he asked instead.
Erin had sensed something going on and was glad to be back on safer ground.
"Yes, sure."
They took their time strolling along the different piers discussing the boats they came by.
Both of them preferred sailing boats over motor boats, both especially liked the old traditional
ones. Erin was still careful not to get too close to Gibbs, but he felt she was not as tense as she
had been in his presence yesterday or even in the morning.
He thought of taking the chance and asking her all the questions about her past that he needed
to have answered. He knew he could make her talk. But other than usual, getting the
information he wanted was only a small piece of the whole cake this time.
„Don't push her," he reminded himself, "You'll know when the time is right."
Back on the boat, he made a suggestion.
"Why don't you go shower, while I cook up some spaghetti? I can take care of your arm when
you're back; we'll eat and could have another round of chess afterwards. What do you think?"
"Sounds good."
On her way back from the club she realized that she didn't bother too much about Gibbs
tending her arm. Of course he would be far too close, but she had been able to handle it
yesterday, and today wouldn't be worse.
When he had dressed her wounds, they ate and while Erin was doing the dishes he set up the
game.
After four games, of which she won the last, she felt his gaze on her.
He didn't say anything though, so she looked up to find out, what was going on. Her eyes
met his and she could see he was worried about something.
She looked back down on the board again, picked up a chessman, thoroughly examining it.
"Is it going to be as hard for you today, as it was yesterday?" he softly asked, concern
showing in his voice.
She shrugged her shoulders.
"Look", he slowly reached out and covered her hand with his. She stopped breathing.
"There is no way I'll ever lay my hands on you with the intension to hurt you."