Disclaimer: 7th Heaven, a marvelous piece of work will never ever be mine, no matter what, unless I like bought it or something, but I am writing on fanfiction so that kinda states that well, I HAVE NOTHING BUT IMAGINATION! Oh, and I am obsessed with Ruthie and Martin, just to clear that up.

Reviews:

WILL BE POSTED AT THE END OF THE STORY

So nothing left but the story! Perhaps I could just ramble on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, like I was just doing!

Nah, I don't want to be eaten alive, so here! Read it all and roast me later!

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Ruthie woke up in a completely different room after having a much better dream about...something. A pair of warm hands was around her and a male face asleep on the pillow. She tried to remember where she had seen him before.

Marty

"Martin?" She whispered, shocked.

He smiled, eyes shut, "Shh, go to sleep,"

She noticed his boxers and a shirt was on, and she felt her pajamas were still on her, plus underwear. Nothing happened. That much she knew. The events of last night came to her in a flash, and she blushed, realizing it was she that told him to stay.

She pulled herself away from his grip, or at least tried to, but was stuck in his arms. She sighed and whispered,

"Martin, wake up,"

"No," He said, tightening his grip on her, "I don't wanna,"

She choked down a laugh. Martin was so adorably cute when he was half asleep.

"Martin," She shook him softly, "Let me go,"

"Why?" He cracked one eye open, saw Ruthie looking at him and promptly let go, mumbling a sorry. She smiled and hugged him,

"It's wonderful to see you again," She laughed, "I don't know why we didn't recognize each other on the plane," She deftly fixed her hair in its usual bun.

He smiled, "We hadn't seen each other in-" He shrugged, "Seven, eight years, give or take a few months,"

She laughed, "Well, thank you for helping me last night, it means a lot to me,"

"Oh, I sing to Susie whenever she has a nightmare and my dad would sing to me," He explained, "He grew up as a choir boy,"

"Well, it's now in my top ten all time music songs," She smiled, "You're a wonderful singer, by the way,"

"I try," He smiled, noticing that her preference of flannel pants and baggy shirt hadn't changed for bed wear. Glancing at the clock, his brain registered that it was nine thirty, meaning that Susie had eaten and was now probably playing with Anna.

"Hey you guys are up," Sam came in, grinning, "After that scare last night, Dad thought it was best if we let Ruthie sleep in and we didn't know if she needed you or not, so David and I just unplugged your alarm clock and closed the curtains. You two look just adorable together, by the way," He made kissing sounds and ducked when Martin threw a pillow at him, laughing his way down the hall.

"Aren't brothers the best?" Ruthie asked, laughing, "Thanks again, Martin," She smiled and walked out to take a shower.

He just sighed, feeling different, as if part of him was missing or something.

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"Do you wanna know something," Suze said excitedly, "Daddy's birthday is TO-morrow!" She giggled,

"Really," Annie frowned, "I never knew that. Oh I feel so terrible! We should throw Martin a party!" She was panicking, "Oh a surprise party! Perfect! I'll just talk to everyone, and get some people," She was off, talking to herself, making lists, in a frenzy while Susie skipped outside, going to go play dress up with Anna.

"Ruthie, tomorrow's Martin's birthday, I need you to distract him for a few hours while I set up a surprise birthday party for him," Annie said, cornering Ruthie,

"Fine," She sighed, but something was bugging her about what her mother had said. She was pouring herself some coffee when Simon came in the kitchen with his own mug.

"Ruthie, what are you doing today?" Simon asked, sipping some of his coffee,

"Personal things," She smiled sadly, "I'm going to be looking at pictures of Peter and Brady, maybe it'll help, I don't know," She sighed

"Do you want me around?" He asked, worried, "I was planning on watching Charlie while Mary and Robbie get reunited," He looked a little grossed out at that bit, "But I can help you,"

"No," She smiled, "Charlie needs you more then I need you," She kissed him on the cheek, "How is it that you always seem to be there whenever I need you?"

"Huh?" Simon said, confused

She smiled, "Do you remember when I was like ten and I didn't have a date to a party and you found a boy to go out with me?" She hugged him, "The entire day, I tried to talk to everyone, but they were all busy to deal with me, and you were there, saving the day," She laughed, "Just little things like that,"

"I hope I'll always be there for you," He said truthfully, "God bless you, Ruthie,"

"Get out of here, Simon, before this turns into a tearjerker," She laughed and turned back up the stairs while Simon headed out to where Charlie was, practicing his free throw.

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"Martin," Eric smiled, "I have to go out and do some church things. Sam's at the mall and Annie is taking David with her to buy groceries," He chuckled, "It's been so long since I've seen the fridge fully stocked," Martin grinned at his little joke, "Anyway, no one will be here, so I need you to watch Ruthie for me. She's in the family room,"

"And I can hear you!" Ruthie yelled and her father shut his eyes, smiling still, "Anyway, I'm leaving," He patted Martin on the shoulder, "Good luck, son,"

"What are you looking at?" Martin asked, noticing the pictures.

"Brady," Ruthie smiled sadly, "You don't know the whole story, do you?"

"I do," He said, "Matt told me," He took a seat next to her, "Were you and Peter close?"

"He loved me," She sighed, "He told me that he loved me since I-" She blushed, "uh-had my period," She whispered in a low hush.

Martin raised an eyebrow, "Dare I ask?"

She laughed, "He says it's because that was when I was truly a woman and up for grabs,"

"Huh," Martin smiled at one picture of Ruthie holding a little baby boy, smiling. She looked very happy in the picture, her joy reflected in her eyes. Ruthie followed his gaze,

"That was the from the first time that Brady laughed," She smiled fondly, "It was always wonderful to hear him laugh,"

Martin sighed, "I missed out on every kind of first until Susie was at least three. Her mom took care of her while I earned money for the family,"

"What happened to Sandy?" Ruthie asked, frowning

"She died," He wrinkled his brow, frowning, "Of suicide, claiming that no one loved her in a note,"

"Didn't you love her?" Ruthie asked, "After all, you gave up baseball for a year and just worked until she made you pursue your dream,"

"I never loved her, I just lived with her, because I was responsible for her and what I thought of as her daughter back then," He smiled sadly, "Suze wouldn't go anywhere without me after her death and it killed me the following year to have to send her to school," He laughed, "Sandy's suicide showed me what was really important-family,"

"Well, you have a lifetime to spend with that sweet girl of yours who thought I was Simon's girlfriend," Martin groaned, and Ruthie laughed,

"It's fine, everyone else thought the same thing" She chuckled at Martin's expression before continuing, "But, I only had a year with Brady, and you can hear her talk and Brady didn't even say his first word,"

"I don't know what Susie's first word was," Martin admitted

She looked at him, sighing, "Martin, I just-" She sighed, debating if she wanted him to leave or not, "Don't talk, just let me talk, clear the air,"

She picked up a picture of Peter, holding little two week old Brady in his arms, smiling. It was a sharp contrast between father and son, with Peter's sunken eyes, Brady's beautiful blue joyful eyes. Peter's incredibly pale, albino-like skin and Brady's soft olive color, as well as being able to see Peter's veins and outline of his bones easily when his son had baby fat and plump cheeks that made him all the more adorable.

"On Peter's eighteenth birthday," She sighed, "He told me that he wanted to do it, have sex, and he did, with someone he barely knew,"

Martin put an arm around her, not daring to speak and upset her even more.

"I tried to talk him out of it, into waiting until he was married," She sighed, "He didn't listen, he never did. He continued to do it for a long time. Then one day, he went to the doctor, who told him that he had an STD," She leaned on Martin now, sniffling, "On top of that, someone left a baby on his doorstep, with a slip of paper saying 'BRADEN' on top of it,"

She stared at a picture of her and Peter in their senior year, in graduation caps, laughing and smiling.

"He knew it was his son and took care of him straightaway, but he didn't have the strength or the time to make sure that Brady would live a happy life," She was rolling tears down her cheeks, "When he died, it was chaos at first. Brady stopped the chaos and showed that life does go on," She smiled, "He was a little miracle for Peter with him looking death in a short while and Peter was happy, seeing Brady, knowing Brady, and loving Brady,"

Martin rubbed Ruthie on the back, somehow knowing she wasn't finished.

"Brady and I would visit Peter every Sunday after his death," She smiled, "He would move around constantly, crawling to pull at the grass and laughing, I loved hearing him laugh,"

She now leaned on Martin, being done with the first part of her tale," When I was in that coma, Peter's face came into my mind, then Brady's, and Peter was carrying a baby away from me, toward a bright blinding light. I don't know how long I struggled to try and walk away from the light, trying to find my way back home again. Then I remember seeing a much older boy with brown hair, tan skin, and blue eyes just like Brady's, in a white robe, taking my hand and leading me somewhere dark until I could see nothing,"

Martin hugged her.

"The next thing I knew, I had woken up and I saw not that boy, or Peter, or even Brady, but no one was in my room. I saw a hospital bed under me, that I was in the ICU, but I knew at that moment, somehow that Brady wasn't there anymore and I refused to believe that voice nagging at me in my mind," She shuddered, "I snuck out of the bed, taking the IV with me, looking for Brady. The nurses found me and made me go back while they called the doctor,"

She was sighing, "The doctor, he didn't find a thing wrong with me, but refused to answer my question of where Brady was,"

Martin nodded, he knew this part of the story very well.

"Everyone came the next moment, Dad, Mom, Matt, Simon, Mary," She sighed, looking at him, "You didn't come, and that made me more grateful,"

Martin frowned,

"I had been in charge of a baby boy and he was killed. I didn't want to admit that Brady had di-passed away, so I left to New York the next day, transferring colleges and living with the Colonel and Grandma Ruth until I graduated, in which some TV guy found me and was convinced I would be a good talk show host. Turns out he was right," She laughed,

"I had a boyfriend, Paolo, who I loved, but I always wanted to wait until marriage for sex. Peter only helped me cement the decision in concrete. Paolo was having a-how do you say? Ménage a trios, behind my back and I kicked him out," She leaned her head on Martin's shoulder,

"I then decided to come to Glenoak and spend Christmas with my family. It wasn't until last night that I finally admitted that Brady was gone and not coming back, like Peter," She looked at him, "Please, sing to me,"

He looked at her, trying to figure out what kind of song would help her. When his mom died, his dad would sing a song from the Beatles over and over. He sighed and said,

"My dad would sing this all the time after Mom died, okay?" She nodded and all but crawled up in his lap,

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday"

He sang softly, hating how the song brought up bad memories of his dad crying at the dinner table and he not really knowing what had happened.

"Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly"

Ruthie needed the song though, clutching to him, like a newborn lamb. For the sake of friendship, would he sing it?

"Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday"

He would, because Ruthie was the one who was suffering now, not him. She had helped him so much in showing him that he could still play baseball and raise a family, even if college was now out of the question.

"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday"

If only he could do something more for her then sing oldie songs that his father relied on to heal his wounds from Mom's death.


"Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday"

He knew that there was no going back. Ruthie was now, again, part of his lifestyle.

"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday"

He hoped that Suze wouldn't mind.

"Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm"

Ruthie hummed the last part with him, smiling. She kissed his cheek, feeling the stubble, showing that he hadn't shaved.

"Martin, you are the best friend that a girl could have," She hugged him, sniffling away the last of her tears.

"Yeah, me, George, John, Paul, and Ringo, huh?" He grinned

She put some of the pictures into a stack of frames, "I can't carry a tune at all," She admitted, "When I was younger, I would lip synch," She explained

"My mom couldn't sing at all either," Martin said, "It was my dad that would sing all the lullabies and jodies-army songs-while my mom would listen rocking me from side to side," He smiled, "Dad loved to chant Sound Off with me, and Suze loves to chant that cadence as well,"

"Does Suze have your singing voice?" Ruthie asked

"No," He chuckled, "But that doesn't stop her. You should hear her rendition of Mary had a little lamb,"

"How is Suze, these days," Ruthie asked, sliding in another picture of Brady in a frame.

"I almost never see her, because she's off with Anna and Katie playing with them," He laughed, "She always disappears this time of year, and dead exhausted, sleeping on my bed once New Year's come and gone," He sighed, "At least you're around this year, so I'm not as lonely,"

"Done!" Ruthie said cheerfully, holding up a large frame with seven rows and six columns of Peter and Brady together each day they had gotten to spend together, "Well?" She bit her lip, hoping it was good.

"A little grim in the end," Martin said, noticing at a picture of Peter with blood starting to come down his nose, "Where is it going?"

"My place," Ruthie said, "Peter had me take three pictures for every day that he and Brady spent together," She explained, "That was thirty nine days and I just took one picture from each day, so on the remaining three pictures, I just put Brady at three months, nine months, and the last picture of him ever taken, thirteen months, and one day old"

She looked sadly at the little boy with blond tufts of hair trying to catch one of the bubbles that Sam and David were blowing in the background, "It was five days before the accident, when I was sure that he was going to say his first word and I wanted to capture the moment. False alarm," She sighed and set it away, starting to clean up.

"Did you adopt Brady?" Martin asked

"No," She sighed, "Paris was in charge of him, but she let me take care of him while she and Vic took care of Peter's brother, Leo. I think Leo's eight now,"

"Have you seen them since?" Martin asked

"They loved Peter and it was hard for them to give Brady the same love. Paris and Vic would've just ignored him and spoiled Leo, of that I'm sure if I hadn't convinced Paris to let me take care of Brady," She sighed, "They changed with Peter's death, wanting to go back to yesterday, like your song,"

"I hate that song, "Martin admitted, "It holds bad memories for me,"

"I'm sorry," She said, "For making you sing it,"

"Don't be," He smiled, "You needed to hear it more then I needed to not hear it," He sighed, "I can't imagine losing Susie, how I would be able to move on,"

"Parents are supposed to die first, so they don't have to go through the agony of watching their child die," She said, "Or that's my theory on the cycle of life,"

"What are you going to do with the extra pictures?" He asked, noticing tons of them still on the table, scattered about.

"Save them," She shrugged, "I don't know, I'll find something," She picked up one picture of her, Brady, and Peter all together, smiling and laughing, "That was one of Peter's better days when the doctor let him go outside and play with Brady and me," She smiled fondly.

"Do you love him the way he loves you?" Martin asked, noticing the way Peter seemed to have only eyes for Ruthie in the picture.

"I did at one time," She admitted, "But I don't anymore. That was hard to tell Peter, but he told me to be happy, no matter what,"

"Are you happy?" Martin looked at her

"No," She sighed, "Sometimes, I feel happy and then I remember Brady and my promise to Peter and the feeling disappears,"

"Like it's wrong that you can't be happy without Brady?" Martin finished for her, and she nodded.

"I felt the same way when my mom died. Me and my dad," He told her, "Dad would just sing that song over and over when he thought I wasn't listening," He smiled sadly, "Whenever Dad saw me, he would always make an effort to spend time with me, to get me to be happy and it was hard to accept it,"

"How long did it take you?" She asked

"Two or three years," He admitted, "I hope it won't take you that long. After all, weren't you happy with Paolo, before the affair?"

"No," She sighed, "Paolo was more for distracting me from everything that happened, and it felt better to be with him then it did to think constantly of this sweet little baby that's with his father now,"

They passed the rest of the afternoon in comfortable silence, not daring to move.

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Ruthie yawned and stared at her bed. It was so empty and bland. Martin's bed looked a lot more comfortable to her. Smiling, she remembered that Sam, David and Martin were the only ones on the second floor. Well other then her mother and father, but that was a given.

She snuck downstairs, intent on pretending she had gotten another nightmare to sleep in Martin's warm soft bed. Closing the door, she poked him awake.

Blearily he opened one eye, "Ruthie?" Yawning he asked, "Did you have another nightmare?"

She nodded, getting the scared, trapped look on her face that she knew Martin couldn't resist, and added, "Can I stay with you?" She asked in a soft voice

"Come on in," He sighed, making way for her, yawning, "I'm too tired to sing, though,"

She just smiled, jumped on the bed, and pulled his arm over hers.