As always a huge thank you to anmodo for betaing this chapter and thanks to everyone that has reviewed, it really helps.

Chapter 6

Colombia

Exhausted, Danny dragged his tired, aching body into his apartment after nearly twelve hours of combat and weapons training. But he was glad that he was so tired. It meant he hopefully could fall asleep without thinking about taking the drugs or so he thought. He collapsed on his bed and let his head fall into his hands. He felt his shirt stick uncomfortably to his back, but he was grateful for this discomfort for it reminded him of what he had done. He leaned back and fell onto the lumpy pillows and closed his eyes. But he knew it was pointless trying to sleep, as he could still feel the adrenaline coursing through his body. He would achieve nothing by lying here with his eyes closed. There were only 24 hours in the day and he was already using 20 of them, either for some form of combat or weapons training or cartel business. So over the last couple of months, he had learned to use his time wisely, insuring he used every second of everyday to its fullest extent.

And now he needed to use his free time… to practice taking drugs. Because if he hesitated for a second in the company of Carlos's men, then his cover would be blown and they would kill him…or worse still…the CIA would kill all the people he cared about. He stood and walked to the small kitchen to the side of his sitting room and grabbed a pot of sugar and a knife before sitting down in front of a glass table. He poured some of the sugar on to the table and rubbed his hand over his face as he took a deep breath. He hesitantly picked up the knife and began to cut the sugar as though it was coke. He cut it methodically, always pushing it back together, just as he had seen his brother do. After a few minutes, he placed the sugar into lines and put down the knife. Danny pulled out a crumpled 20,000-peso note from his pocket and carefully rolled it. As though he was ashamed, he quickly glanced around checking to make sure no one was around before he snorted it. He placed one end of the note into a nostril and blocked the other and then slowly lowered his head towards the table. Abruptly, Danny stopped. He picked up the note and knife and threw them across the room in frustration. His head fell into his hand and he let the tears fall. What the hell was he going to do? What was he going to do when he was faced with the real stuff? When he couldn't even snort fucking sugar. He leaned back and rested his head on the wall and thought of the team… his family… and Lucia. He had to do it… he would do it for them.

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Colombia

Lucia sighed in relief as her father gave out the work detail for the day. She was, as usual, going out on family business, but what made her smile was that AJ was driving her. She loved the drives with AJ; he was so funny and sweet. He could always make her laugh, even though she'd be going out on 'family business'. She felt safe with him. Just the look he gave to her father's clients was enough to tell her that he would protect her. She quickened her pace, as she followed AJ out of the room. She noticed how tense he was but didn't comment on the matter in front of her father and the other men.

As she climbed into the car with him, she noticed his absence of warmth. "AJ, is everything alright?" Lucia asked looking at Danny in concern.

Danny looked across and gave her a small smile as he tried to hide his fears about the drug-taking session. "I'm sorry, Lucia, for acting all depressed on you. Its…" he paused, "Its just I've got a couple of things on my mind at the moment."

"Oh, I hope nothing too serious," Lucia replied with concern. Sensing that he wanted to change the subject, she turned on the radio. "Do you want the joys of local radio or a CD?" she asked whimsically.

Danny felt himself relax in the company of Lucia's lighthearted nature. "Whatever you want," he said flatly.

Lucia pulled a CD from her bag, "Guns 'n' Roses, ok?" She glanced across at Danny seeing him nod with a slightly amused expression; she placed the CD in the player. "Can I turn the volume up? Sorry it just has to be played loud."

He nodded again and she turned up the volume, smiling as she watched his long elegant fingers drum the steering wheel.

They drove in silence for a while, but Lucia could not help but push the question again. "Are you sure you're alright? I mean you have been unnaturally quiet," she repeated in a worried tone.

"I'm sorry," Danny said, as he forced another smile and tried to be a little more engaging in their conversation. "It's nothing, really."

Lucia looked at Danny's forced smile that did not meet his eyes as he tried to appear as though everything was fine, when it was obviously not. For once, she could do something for him, after all of what he'd done for her. He'd never taken advantage of her, even when she had fallen asleep in the car with her head resting against his shoulder. Instead, he'd gently woken her just before they got to the compound. He always made her laugh, and always took a thermos of coffee for them to share when they were on business. Because of all of this, she laid her hand on his shoulder and pleaded again. "AJ you can tell me. I just want to help, after what you have done for me and what you do for me everyday… it's the least I can do."

Danny quickly glanced at Lucia before returning his eyes to the road. He saw the sincerity in her eyes so he confided in her without thinking. "I need to get into your father's inner circle, but in order to do that I have to take drugs and there is no way in hell I wanna to do that," he said before he could stop himself.

Lucia smiled at him and rubbed his shoulder. So he really wasn't like the rest of her father's employees at all, she thought. He was compassionate and funny, and he wasn't a junkie. After realizing this, she tried to persuade him that she really wanted to help and that she would never tell her father.

"Everyday since my mother was murdered, I have been heavily involved with my father's business, part of that involved taking drugs. But what my father doesn't know—is that I have only used coke a couple of times." Lucia paused. "Every evening, when everyone sits around taking drugs, I take a substitute substance and my father nor anyone else is the wiser. It's harmless and looks identical to coke. I just fake the rest. If you want—when I deal out the drugs—I will give you some."

Danny looked at Lucia in amazement. "You would do that for me?" he asked.

"Of course I would. After everything you have done for me…Jesus AJ…for the first time in my life, I feel safe. That's how you make me feel. Please let me return the favour by helping you."

Danny pulled the car to the side of the road, just before the client's house. He always did this, so Lucia could prepare herself. "You really don't owe me anything," he said as he looked at her and noticed the lost look in her eyes. He rested his hand on her shoulder. "Now it's my turn to ask you: Are you alright?"

Upon feeling Danny's comforting gesture, Lucia felt her façade crack. "Oh AJ… I'm scared… but I have to do it… I don't have a choice… but I'm so scared," she said as she collapsed into Danny's arms.

She got like this before every visit with one of her father's clients. Danny had learned very quickly what kind of business Carlos sent his daughter to do. Her father made her get close to his clients to ensure they kept buying his drugs. Getting close to them often meant Lucia had to do things she didn't want to do. Danny's heart broke every time she had to go on these little family business trips. The only thing he could do for her was protect her if one of the clients tried to get rough. He knew it wasn't enough, but it was all he could do and not blow his cover.

As gently as possible, Danny pulled Lucia's trembling body close and ran his hand through her hair. To have her that close took his breath away, but he wasn't about to take advantage of her, especially seeing how vulnerable she was. "Hey, it's ok. I will protect you. If he hurts you… if anyone hurts you in any way… I will deal with them. You know that," Danny said as he tried to reassure her. He hated seeing women and kids afraid. It reminded him too much of his own childhood.

Lucia relaxed in Danny's strong embrace. Just having him tell her that he would protect her made her feel safe, despite what she was about to do. The fact that she was currently lying in his arms gave her a feeling that she hadn't experienced in a long time… the feeling that she was loved. She reluctantly pulled out of Danny's embrace and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks AJ…you know…for being there for me." She paused. "And I meant what I said about helping you out with the drugs."

Danny felt his heart rate increase when Lucia leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. It was only a quick peck on the cheek yet he felt as though he was at school again and he had just scored with captain of the cheerleading squad.

Maybe if they looked out for each other and saw this through, he could persuade the CIA to let Lucia come back with him. Maybe he could give her a chance at living a real life. Maybe he would have a shot at true happiness, maybe he would have a chance of having a family… after all that was his greatest dream… to have his own family. Some people wanted riches, some people wanted fame… but all Danny Taylor wanted was a family to call his own.

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New York

It had been two months since he had seen Danny murdered in front of him, and he could still not get the image out of his head. Jack and everyone had tried to persuade him to see a shrink, but he couldn't. His father would see this as a weakness. His father would think he was weaker than he already was. The fact that everyone wanted him to see a shrink proved how weak he was. But now he was trying to make amends. He was trying to move on. Hence the reason he was standing outside Sam's apartment. He had said to himself in that warehouse, two long months ago, that he would apologise to Sam for his behaviour during their relationship and now for his behaviour over the last two months. He wanted to feel happy again. He wanted feel emotions again. He doubted Danny would ever want him to feel this depressed. Martin wiped the tears that he hadn't realised had been falling and knocked on the door. He waited, as he tried to prepare himself, as he tried to think of what he was going to say, how he was going to cope with the rejection. He watched as though he was in a daze as Sam opened her door.

Sam heard a knock at her door and wondered who would be visiting her at this hour. She quickly crossed the room and opened the door to see Martin. He looked so lost and empty, as though Dornvald had sucked the life out of him in that warehouse. "Martin", she said as she put her arm around him and guided him in. "Come in. Do you want anything to drink?"

Martin glanced at Sam shaking his head. "Sam I'm so sorry," he blurted out. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry I didn't understand. And I'm… I'm sorry about Danny!"

Sam stopped and turned to face Martin. She knew he was down, but she hadn't realised how depressed he had become. How much self-blame he was shouldering. She rested her hands on his shoulders and shook him slightly. "God Martin, you have nothing to be sorry for. Last time I checked, a relationship is a two way street, so I am just as much to blame." She paused and looked into Martin's guilt ridden eyes. "And why do you continue to blame yourself for Danny's death? There was nothing you could have done, nothing, Martin." Sam said as shook Martin again, as she tried to reinforce the issue.

He turned away. "You weren't there Sam; I saw his eyes before he died. He blamed me and why wouldn't he! I was driving the goddamn car, there were a ton of things I could have done. And then in the warehouse, I could have of tried to get Danny out." Martin paused; he wasn't ready to tell anyone about what he had said in warehouse. The words that almost certainly sent Danny to his death. "I know you can't forgive me for Danny's death, but can you forgive me for the way I treated you during our relationship?"

"Of course I do Martin, but as far as I am concerned there is nothing to forgive, you did nothing wrong," Sam replied as she rubbed his shoulders.

Martin took a deep breath and turned to face her, as he tried to summon up the courage. "Then-then can we try again?" Martin asked as he almost pleaded with her.

Sam looked into anguished ridden eyes, as she felt as though she was looking into his soul. But she couldn't start dating him again, not now anyway. Every time she saw Martin, she thought of Danny's last moments. She didn't blame Martin for Danny's death, but she couldn't help to be reminded of her friend's last moments when she looked into the eyes of one of last people to see him alive. She just wondered how she was going to break this to him. Not that every time she saw him she thought of Danny…no that would kill him. How was she going to break it to him that she couldn't date him. "Martin I'm sorry, but I can't," Sam said as grabbed his shoulders. "It's not you, it's me. I need some time."

Martin turned to walk away, but something was holding him back. So she didn't love him and she blamed him for Danny's death, he thought. "Ok," Martin managed to say as he dropped his head and tried to hide the tears. "I understand. I'm going to go now," He said to the floor.

But Sam held on to Martin's shoulders. She couldn't let him walk out the door like that., What the hell was he going to do once he had? She couldn't let him walk to his death. "Martin, stay. I really don't really want to be alone tonight." She said as she pulled him over to the couch and pushed him down. "I'm scared". I'm scared of what you will do to yourself if I let you walk out that door, Sam thought.

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Colombia

Danny sat uncomfortably in the stuffy room filled with Carlos Vega, his other employees and a couple of his clients. From what Danny could figure out from the hushed conversation, they were closing a deal. From the tension in the room, Danny guessed that the deal was worth a lot of money but it also had taken months to reach this stage. So this is what his life had come to… sitting in a stifling hot room with a bunch of junkies and dealers, while attempting to listen in, then repeating all this information back to a weasel in the CIA who he was highly suspicious of. Danny leaned back and tried to relax, but he sat up quickly when he heard a child's shriek and a flash of colour.

"Someone get that damn kid out of here!" Carlos yelled at no one in particular.

Diego, one of Carlos's men, immediately stood up on his boss's command and brutally grabbed the child. The small boy tried to struggle out of Diego's grip. "Damn you little brat, hold still," Diego yelled at the small boy and dropped him violently. The small boy cried out and tried to edge away from Diego.

Danny felt as though he was watching his own childhood. He quickly rose and roughly pushed passed Diego. He knelt down as he tried to coax the small, now terrified boy from under the table were he was now hiding.

"Hey there kiddo." Danny said smiling drawing on his comforting demeanor that he so rarely showed anymore. "How about we get out of this boring room and go play some ball?" Danny looked into the child's eyes and it was though he was looking into at reflection of himself 25 years ago. He held out his hand and watched as the boy slowly and hesitantly moved towards him, before he took Danny's hand. Danny slowly and gently pulled the boy towards him, reassuring him as he did. Then he scooped the boy up, and carried him out the room, glaring at Diego as he passed him. Danny walked down the corridor to the kitchen and put the boy down on the table. "So what's you're name?" Danny asked as he tried to comfort the boy who was now quietly sobbing.

"Christopher, but my mami calls me Chris." Chris said as he continued to cry quietly.

"Chris, that's a cool name. Are you hurt?" Danny asked. Before he could hear Chris's reply, he heard a familiar voice calling out for Chris. Before he could react, Lucia burst into the room. "Hey. I'm sorry Lucia, he ran into your father's meeting room so I brought him in here," he said defensively as Lucia put her arms around the crying child.

Lucia took one look at Danny and knew he would never do anything to her little boy. "Diego?" Lucia asked looking at Danny. Danny nodded, "That bastard. You can add single mother to your list of my weak, pathetic characteristics."

Danny looked at Lucia in confusion. "Lucia what are you talking about?"

"What you must think you me." Lucia said in an ashamed tone as she looked at her now calmed down son and then up at Danny. She let Chris go over to play with some toys, and then she turned her attention to Danny.

"Strong. Intelligent. Beautiful. Single mother, who has raised a great kid. That's what I think of you," Danny replied stepping towards her. He took a deep breath as he realized he couldn't stop himself anymore. "I really care about you, Lucia. I've felt a connection with you since the moment I set eyes on you. What amazes me is that you are as intelligent as you are beautiful and you are one of the strongest people I know."

Lucia looked into Danny's eyes and felt as though she had melted into them. She had never met a guy that didn't just want her body, but cared about her for who she was including that she was a mother. She leaned towards him and felt him kiss her gently on the lips. She didn't pull back. Instead, she responded as she felt him pull her closer. Maybe her luck had changed.