Salt in your wounds
I HAD THIS CHAPTER FINISHED 3 DAYS AGO BUT I COULDN'T UPLOAD IT FOR AGES BECAUSE MY INTERNET CONNECTION HAS BEEN FKED so if I don't update for a while blame the internet not me
I had trouble writing the last chapter, I couldn't find anyplace to put the first kiss and the start of the romance in it, so I did it and I'm quite proud.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or any of the other characters or the places or anything this plot is mine but that's about it anything that you recognise is not mine either, although I'm pretty sure there isn't much.
CHAPTER
When I was younger, I used to fear getting up in the morning, I never wanted to leave the dream world that I found safety in. dreams can be the safest place in the world sometimes, all your subconscious thoughts mixed into images and set free in your head.
When I got older I realised that spending all the time in my dreams wasn't a way of living, I would try to experience all the different things, thrill, excitement, hate passion, freedom, happiness.
When I rode my first broom it was like I was leaving the world and was finally alone, with nothing but the air around me and the wind screaming in my ears. I would often find myself going as fast as I cold on my broom I loved the thrill of going as fast as I could and the roar or the wind in my ears.
I considered the wind my friend; I spoke to it my fears and hates, all things that could be used against me if someone else found out what they were. And then one day I realised that I didn't care, I couldn't give a flying fuck if my father found out I was scared of the dark until I was six, or that when I heard him come to my room I would try so hard not to hide.
All these things had kept me sane for so long, until that day when I realised they were all bullshit and that I was a fool for thinking I could hide in the shadows and it would all go away. I guess that was when I became outspoken some might say rude, I couldn't bring my self to care about how I made people feel, I just wanted them to feel half as bad as I did. I wanted them all to toss and turn as they tried to fall asleep at night but couldn't because all they could think about were the cruel and heartless actions.
I suppose a lot of people believe that when some one gets to that stage, where they don't care if they hurt some one else, that they aren't alive, that they aren't human, because all humans have guilt and a conscience. But maybe those people should look at it through my eyes and then they can make the decision.
I heard some one say once, that bullies are weak, and that they are just acting that way to get attention. Now that's bullshit, I couldn't care if someone looked at me or not, all I cared for was to make them hurt, to make them feel like shit on the bottom of a shoe.
Blaise Zimbini sat down on the coffee table in front of Draco. He held a letter addressed to him in his hand.
"This is for you. Crabbe, Goyal and me, all got one as well" Draco looked at the letter then back at Blaise. "You know what it's about?" Draco gave a short nod and pulled the letter from his grasp.
Blaise stood up and stared at Draco as he cracked the seel and pulled out the letter. "You think you're so fucking hot don't you? That's bullshit, your nothing without your father you know that" Draco stood up shoving the letter in his pocket. He was taller then Blaise by about an inch. He sneered as he looked down at the Slytherin. Blaise stepped back and glared. "Gonna ran away again? Yeah that's right I know all about your little escapade over the summer." Draco leaned forward so that he was staring directly into Blaise's eyes.
"You know nothing" Blaise let out a cold laugh that sounded quite sinister in the silent common room.
"You think your so got damn good! Tell me, if your father wasn't who he was then what? Would you still be the Slytherin king? You're nothing without your legacy, and I don't give a shit if the whole fucking school knows it" Blaise kicked the small coffee table and watched as it flew across the room and smashed against the wall he turned back to draco with a threatening look on hid face, but his expression soon dropped when he saw draco smiling dangerously and looking slightly amused at Blaise's out burst.
Draco laughed sending a shiver around the common room. Then he spoke in a hoarse whisper that ran down their spines.
"That would be just like you Zimbini, believing so much in family loyalty. You have no fucking idea about what being a Malfoy is. After all, you're nothing but a Zimbini.
So tell me, do you run along home and whimper to your whore of a mother and tell her about how big and bad Draco is and she just laughs and tells you that my father is the only one keeping me afloat? We're not all like you Zimbini, we don't all depend on our parents to nipple fucking feed us ever holiday." Blaise's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as he looked at Draco.
"You're nothing but a muggle lover. That's where you went isn't it? To go and fuck with a couple of muggles" Draco laughed and stepped closer till they were face to face, draco watched as Blaise swallowed bard and there was a flicker of fear in his eyes, only for a second then he replaced the walls of his hard exterior and sneered.
"if you believe everything you hear you might as well start sending your wish list to Santa clause because you have no idea how far from the truth you are." Draco turned to walk away but was stopped by Blaise when he spoke.
"I've seen your book you know. I've seen all those pictures. And William showed me that handy little trinket of yours, I can guess that that hasn't slain any muggles, but I do know what it has cut. I've seen the scars Draco, you can't hide them forever. You're not the Slytherin king anymore, you're being replaced! We don't want to have to look at your ring covered face anymore! You're nothing!" Draco turned around and sneered.
"And who's to replace me? You? HA now that is a laugh, you call me nothing, look in the mirror Zimbini and then tell me why you're to be the one to replace me, no one in their right state of mind would follow a Zimbini into battle." Draco paused again to look at Blaise he had just lost his last lifeline and he had no place left to go, the thought made draco want to laugh, after all this shit he could still make people crap in their jocks "It pisses you off that much? The fact I'm the heir to the throne of the dark lord any you will be nothing but a measly death eater. I'll be your king soon, when Voldemort passes on his legacy to me and I'll see you hung-drawn and quartered" Draco turned and began to walk towards the portrait hole, but was stopped yet again by Blaise's voice.
"Gone to go and fuck her again?" Draco sighed and turned around.
"Fuck who Zimbini, as you can see Parkinson is right over there" there was an indignant screech from the other side of the common room but it was ignored by both males. Blaise laughed and let a grin of triumph spread across his face, he had a card up his sleeve and he was going to use it.
"Your little friend, the one you've been seeing lately, the mu-"
"Stupefy" draco said dully with a small flick of his wrist before turning around again and muttering "obliviate" and a couple of other unheard spells to remove that piece of information from his memory.
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Hermione entered the common room before dinner started there were a couple of people left the others were most likely away doing homework or playing exploding snap or chess.
"Hey Ron, sorry I ran out before I had to go to the library." Ron looked up and smiled.
"That's cool Hermione, by the way have you d-" he was interrupted when Harry came running into the common room with a frantic look on his face.
"RON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! RO-" he stopped dead in his tracks when he looked at the small table that held Hermione and Ron.
"I'm right here mate, what's the matter?" but Harry ignored him and just stared at Hermione tilting his head from side to side never taking his eyes off her.
"Harry? Are you alright? Your acting kind of odd" Hermione asked slowly. Harry shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair messing it up. He took off his glasses and cleaned them making sure they were spotless before putting them back on his nose,
"Hey herm, I'm just fine." He sat down opposite Hermione and next to Ron.
"Come on, lets get to dinner" Ron said finally pulling both friends up and walking towards the portrait whole hurriedly.
Hermione sat next to Ron during dinner playing with the small amount of food on her plate; she tried to ignore the strange gaze drilling into the top of her head by Harry. "You know herm, you should eat, I've heard corn helps for people
Who jump off buildings." Hermione looked up cocking an eyebrow before looking down at her plate again.
"I've eaten stuff already, and I'm not likely to go and jump off a building now am I?" She let out a light laugh noticing the nervousness in it, but neither boy seemed to join her in noticing. "I think I'm going to go to the library, I want to check out a book." Ron nodded and ignited a conversation with Harry about the chudley cannons.
Hermione turned around at the door and surveyed the people sitting at their tables talking about nothing to no one in particular.
"Hey Ron," Harry said after Hermione had left the hall, he stared at the door then looked back at Ron as he stuffed a large portion of mashed potato in his mouth.
"Yeah mate?" Harry turned away from looking at the large amounts of half eaten white mulch in his friend's mouth.
"Did you ever know Hermione could sing?" Ron snorted loudly earning several looks of disgust from near by people.
"As if Harry, that woman probably has the vocals of a banshee" Harry laughed and fiddled with his fork.
"Have you noticed, she's been acting kind of" he waved his fork around in large circles with his wrist. "Odd lately" Ron paused eating for a second contemplating.
"Nope, I think she's just stressing about homework or her head duties." Harry nodded and started to eat his dinner 'yeah that's probably it, she was probably just worried about all that work and didn't realise it was Malfoy. I probably just imagined them jumping any way, I mean she was right here only seconds ago' Even in his head that excuse didn't sound as reasonable as he had hoped.
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"How fucking dares that bastard" Draco shouted in one of the large old store rooms that Hogwarts possessed and one of the many forgotten all about. It was packed with lots of useless things, and Draco often found himself there rummaging through the piles of junk. "How fucking dare that slime ball" a large vase flew across the room and smashed when it came in contact with the wall. "Arrgh! That son of a bitch" Draco threw a bucket across the room listening to the clattering as it bounced before sitting down and glared at the floor, his thoughts ran wild as he contemplated all the different things he could do to Blaise Zimbini.
'look at who you are, tell me if your happy with the way things are, do you want to change?' draco sighed and lay down on his back staring at the ceiling, one of the many unanswered question Natasha had asked him. He pictured her face, the summer sun shining down on her making her hair glow golden. "No. I'm not happy with who I am. And I want to change so badly but I can't." He spoke out aloud picturing Natasha's face smiling gently. Her amazing green eyes ablaze, reflecting the tenderness off the world. "I wish I could be with you again. I was happy with you. I knew where I was and what I was going to do. Not like here not like now, all I do is go from fight to fight and false sneer to false glare. I just wish I could be happy" he laughed at himself for believing that could ever happen. "I just want to be happy and grow old and have a wife and kids who I love and not have to be afraid of anything! Like that would ever happen." He rolled onto his stomach and played with the dust on the ground; it was unsettles and messed up from him. Slowly he began to draw swirling lines that entwined together forming an image. Draco stood up looking down at the picture he had just drawn before rummaging through some of the things on the shelves. He smiled when he found a large sewing needle. He kneeled down again over his picture in the dust.
Half an hour later draco stood up dusting off the dirt and grime that covered his robes he smiled down at the picture now engraved in the floorboards and turned and left leaving a small picture of himself bound and gagged tied to a chair in a room that was ablaze with fire, yet the image of draco didn't seem scared or angry, its eyes watched the fire that approached him with excitement alive in his eyes.
A/N I think that was sort of short but yeah oh well I hope it was worth the wait. My computer has been stuffing up lately and so has the internet so I'll try and update as soon as possible... Review it please I love getting them, review twenty times for the one chapter and I would be VERY happy :D but no, one would suffice from each reader. Thanks and I hope you liked this chapter
Thank you all who reviewed and heres your recognition...
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really-big-HP-freak- I have her singing in it not just for the sake of it, you have to read the words of the songs o chose there hints of the world how it is and will be
Goddess of Gorgeousness- thanks for reviewing 'perfection'
Vetilakriz- yeah, I'm the worst with punctuation and paragraphing, an illiterate fool would probably do a better job with it then me.
megan( )- I'll considerate it, I don't really listen to commercial music like that, I'm more into the underground-small-pub rock music.
your # 1 fan( )- lol thanx for you 3 reviews saying the same thing. lol
A friend once told me, love isn't just passion and sex, its everything around you, even hate is a form of love.