A/N: 1000 hits and a brand new review...Maybe I needed this reminder. This story has been "sleeping" for a while, but I think it just woke up.
"Looks like we got a serial rapist who doesn't mind killing his victims. And the fact that he
gave victim no.2 a message to deliver indicates that he'll strike again. If he sticks to his M.O.
his next assault will be on Tuesday. Kate…"
"Yes Gibbs?"
"Get out a warning to all female personal at the base and the academy."
"On it!"
"DiNozzo, I want you to check the records for Navy personal accused of sexual harassment
and/or rape. He said "Benjiman is back", so there must have been something before."
"Boss, we already…"
Gibbs cut him off. "Then do it again! I'll go have another interview with Captain Howard."
Unfortunately Tracy Howard didn't remember anything more than she had already reported.
Gibbs didn't like to be a situation where he had to wait for the dirt bag to make the next move.
On his way back to the headquarters he went to pick up Erin. He wanted her to meet the rest
of his team. As he had expected, Erin had the "Morning Glory" in perfect condition.
Everything cleaned and stowed away.
"I got to go back to work. Want to join me? Abby'll be there, and I want you to meet Ducky
and Kate and Tony."
Erin accepted, even though she was a little insecure about how to approach Gibbs' team. She
didn't know what he had told them about her. But she wanted to see Abby again, and finding
out where Gibbs worked and how he was on the job would add to the picture she had about
him.
Three hours later, entering Abby's lab, she wished she hadn't come here. Abby jumped off
her chair when she saw her.
"Erin, good to see you! How's it goin'?"
She gave Erin a big hug and went on without letting her answer.
"What kind of a stunt was that you pulled in that storm? Gibbs said he'd tell me, but he didn't
yet…..Erin, what's wrong?"
Erin was shaking. She looked at Abby with eyes wide open and seemed to be in some kind of
shock. Abby led her to her stool and made her sit down.
"Erin, what happened?"
Erin barely whispered. "I promised I'd stay with him…..but I can't……I didn't know…….but
I have to, I gave my word…"
"Erin, what are you talking about?"
"Gibbs….he's so ….different…."
Abby didn't understand.
"Different from what?", and then it came to her. "You mean he's different here from how he's
been on that boat?"
Erin nodded her head. "If I had known, I'd never…"
Abby could see the problem now; she just didn't really understand that extreme reaction on
Erin's side.
"Look, you got to know the private Gibbs first. And now the professional Gibbs is somewhat
different. I was equally surprised to see how relaxed and easy-going Gibbs was on that boat.
Guess my surprise was a bit more a pleasant one than yours, right?"
Erin didn't answer that and Abby started to really get worried.
"Hey, don't you want to tell me what's bothering you so much? You look like you've been
sent on death-row."
Erin just sat there and stared into nothing. Abby wasn't even sure if she'd heard her.
"I mean….on that boat, I got the impression that you and Gibbs were…."
Gibbs, who had just arrived in the lab, interrupted her.
"Were what?"
Abby looked at him and he could see concern in her eyes.
"Nothing. It's none of my business, I guess…"
"Hm… Erin, you need to go upstairs. Your drivers licence is there and you need to sign it."
Erin got up and left without looking at him or saying a word.
"Abby, what happened?"
"I hoped you could tell me. She came here and was practically a nervous wreck. It took me a
while to see it, but now it's clear to me. You really should have warned her…"
"Warned her of what, Abbs?"
"The way you are at the office. You scared her. She knew you as the laid back and friendly
man you obviously were on that boat and now faces the fact that she's going home with a
sarcastic, impatient and aloof special agent. I just can't figure out way she takes it that bad..."
"There's a reason for that, believe me. Damn….I should have thought about it."
He turned to leave.
"I'll take care of it Abbs, thanks."
He followed Erin up to the bullpen. Since there was nothing they could do about the case at
this time, he told Tony and Kate that they could leave after they finished what they were
working on and motioned for Erin to follow him. She still hadn't looked at him, hadn't said a
word. Erin felt dazed. She hardly noticed what was going on around her. She knew she had
just lost something very special, something she'd never dreamed she'd have. And while living
without it had not been a problem before, she wasn't sure if she could do it again, now that
she had an idea of how things could be. And what scared her most was that she was not ready
to give it up completely. She didn't want to believe that her dream was already over.
On their way to the car Gibbs thought about how he could best explain to Erin what was
going on. But as uneasy as she seemed to feel at the moment, he would probably not be able
to get through to her. He made a decision and headed for the marina instead of home. Maybe
being back in the surrounding where she had felt comfortable being with him would help.
Erin sat beside him, motionless. If she was surprised that he drove to the marina, she didn't
show it. After he had parked the car, he led the way to the "Morning Glory". They stepped on
board and he asked Erin to sit down in the cockpit. He sat opposite of her and looked at her
for quite a while. She stared at her hands, didn't move, didn't ask why he had brought her
back here. Gibbs leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
"Erin, I'm sorry!"
Erin heard him. She wanted to look up, look in his eyes and see her skipper. But she couldn't.
A nasty little voice inside her head warned her not to trust him.
"I should have told you I am different at work than I am as a private person, should have
prepared you for meeting special agent Gibbs."
"Don't listen to him!" The voice grew louder.
"I wish I could turn back time and start again at the point where I picked you up and took you
to the office with me. If I could, I'd use the time driving there to introduce you to agent
Gibbs."
She really wanted to believe him but the fight wasn't over yet.
"I know he sounds just like your skipper right now, but he isn't. Your skipper was just a
dream, not real. Don't let him fool you; you'll only get hurt again."
She didn't want to listen to that inner voice but then, it had served her well before. And it was
true. This whole episode on the boat had been like a dream. And she had always known that it
would end someday.
Gibbs sensed her inner battle. He realized how little he knew about the life she'd lived before
they had met. And how fragile and precious her beginning trust in him had been. He was not
ready to give her up yet.
"Erin, look at me please."
She wanted to.
"Don't!" her inner voice warned her.
She didn't want to give up her dream.
"It's a trick! Don't let him fool you."
She didn't want to be alone again. She knew there was not enough strength left in her to fight
much longer. She felt torn between her need for the warmth and comfort that Gibbs had
introduced her to and that nasty little voice reminding her of the ghosts of her past.
"Look, I can't change what happened today. I wish I could, believe me. I can only assure you
that I'm still the same person you knew here on the boat. At the office, at work, I am focussed
on my work. I try to cut out emotions because they might influence my judgement. When you
deal with murder and all the other ugly facts of life that we are confronted with, you either do
it matter-of-factly or you won't last long. But that has nothing to do with you or the way I am
when I'm with you. There's no way I can prove that right now. You'll just have to believe me.
And you've got to make a decision. You have got to decide whether you want to give us a
chance or let him win. I mean he, whoever he is, is not even here and still he seems to control
your thoughts. And only you can stop him from doing that. I want to help you and back you
up. I want to be the man that you need by your side, but I can't do anything as long as you let
him be in control."
Erin still hadn't moved. Gibbs got up. He knew there was nothing more he could say or do.
"I'll be in the club-house for twenty minutes. If you're not there by then, I'll leave your bag at
the counter."
He needed every bit of self-control to keep from just hugging and holding her. But he knew it
had to be her choice. She had to break the spell of that bastard that had made her life hell.
Will be continued...