Sometimes he was surprised at just how easily she settled in. She was just
like a little child, accepting everything at it's face value, and he knew
that she couldn't lie, cheat, or steal because she didn't know how to do
any of those things. It was really quite refreshing to live with her,
because she had this whole new perspective on life that Motoki hadn't been
lucky enough to possess since he was a little child. She had this freedom.
A freedom to love unconditionally, and to do anything she wanted because
she didn't worry about what other people thought. And she didn't have
anything that troubled her, and she was free from all of the worries that
constantly plagued him, and everyone else in the world.
In truth, it blew him away, and Motoki found himself wondering if he should bang his head just to see if there was a chance he could lose all of his memories. But then he would wonder about all that he would be losing. And then he would realize that as wonderful as he might think it is to have a blank slate, no memories to clutter your mind.Ayumi must have lost so much. She lost her name, her family, and all of the experiences in life that had made her who she was. It was like rebirth, where you were able to start over, you were also losing all of the things that you once loved. You didn't even have the memories of the happy times that made life enjoyable. And then he would also find himself wishing that she would see just one thing that she would recognize, so she could have a little bit of herself back. But despite everything, nothing had changed. She had done nothing to change the impression of perfect innocence, even though she was fast becoming anything but ignorant.
And now she was going to lose some of that. After all, there were laws that had to be followed, and eventually she would have to go to school. And he couldn't guard what she saw and did forever. Soon she would have to go out and see the world for what it was, all the bad and the good. And that would just be a tragedy.
***
Ayumi sat on her bed, looking at the only link she had to her past. She had discovered it when she had first arrived, and tried to sleep. It kept tugging on her neck when she tried to rest, until she finally couldn't take it anymore and felt at her neck and found the most beautiful necklace she had seen yet.
It was in the shape of a heart, and it had the name Amei engraved on the front of it. It was the only clue as to who she once was, and that name.Amei, it sounded so familiar even while she couldn't place it. Yet at the same time she knew it wasn't her name.
And so she cradled the silver heart in her hand, the one secret she had in this world, the only thing that was truly hers. And even while she knew she should tell Motoki about it, that he would want to know about it, and probably think it was her name or something. At the same time, it was something she needed to keep to herself, even from her savoir. Besides, she liked the name Ayumi.
But there was something that had been nagging her for a long time, and she had yet to have an answer to the problem. She knew that she was just a strange girl that came out of nowhere, a nameless face that no one knew. And yet at the same time a perfect stranger did everything for her. He saved her from the wilderness, he paid for her doctors' bill, and he also took her into his own home, giving her everything she needed. He had become the only person she had in the world, her family. And yet there was nothing she could do for him, not that she could think of anyway. And she wanted to help him so badly that it would keep her awake at night. The guilt of taking advantage of someone's kindness, and not doing anything to help him in return.
And it had already been 3 days since she had arrived. She had stayed in the apartment most of the time, because sometimes she would get so dizzy that she would have to lay down and she didn't want to risk hurting herself in a world totally unfamiliar to her. But she would stare out of the window, and watch Motoki's small TV to discover the world. It was just too wonderful to stay away from it for long, and the sound of the wind was like a voice calling her to go, to explore.to discover.
And the headaches were almost gone now, and she hadn't had a dizzy spell since yesterday. And the day stretched long ahead of her, filled with possibilities of what might happen, in a time she had yet to live.
Ayumi smiled sadly at the necklace, and clasped it back onto her neck, tucking it under her shirt so no one could see. It was time to answer the call.
***
It had been much harder than she thought it would to convince Motoki to come with her to walk around town. He was so worried about her, and afraid that something bad would happen. It was comforting in an odd way to have someone who cared about her in a world where she could be all alone, but it was irritating at the same time.
And that was why they were out there, walking away from the arcade. She was practically skipping next to Motoki, and she couldn't take in everything fast enough. There were children playing in the park, and other people going on walks. Some were even walking hand in hand for some reason. She took extra notice in these people, because there was something special about them. And aura of happiness that she could almost see. But Motoki nudged her in the side as a warning that it was rude to stare.as if he hadn't already told her that a million times. It was just so hard to look away. It wasn't like she was trying to be rude.
But at least Motoki walked by her side, quietly watching the world like she was. It was sort of funny actually, almost like he hadn't really looked at anything for a while, so was surprised at everything he saw.
Another couple caught her attention. Like all of the others she had seen so far, they were together, only they weren't holding hands. The man had his arm slung over the girls shoulder, and as she looked at him she got a cold feeling inside.
She felt Motoki stiffen next to her, and Ayumi knew that he had seen the man too. But for some reason he smiled at him, and called out. "Hello Mamoru!" Almost like he was happy to see this Mamoru guy, even though she knew he wasn't.
Mamoru walked closer to them, taking his arm off the girls shoulder. As he came closer and closer, the feeling of dread filled her. And the strangest thing was she didn't understand why. He seemed nice enough, and he was even cute if you were only interested on the outside.
He smiled at them, and it was like ice stabbing through her heard. "Hello Motoki! And who is that vision of loveliness walking with you?" He smiled charmingly, and stopped in front of them. His girl was quiet by his side, seething because the way Mamoru was looking at them.
Motoki kept up the appearance of trying to be friendly, and a little of the coldness melt because this guy was just so nice. "This is my friend Ayumi. Ayumi, I would like you to meet my old friend Mamoru."
"The pleasure is all mine, I'm sure." He said, and reached over to take her hand. She let him, and as it got closer and closer to his lips the cold feeling flooded her body until she couldn't take it anymore.
***
It was rotten luck that had to be it. He hadn't seen Mamoru for months now, and the first time he does it's with him walking with Ayumi, and he's got a slut hanging all over him. One thing was sure; he didn't mourn Usagi for very long.
And it had all been going so well, just enjoying the silence, and the scenery was something that he hadn't done in such a long time, and with Ayumi, it's more special somehow. Things that he hadn't bothered to look at twice are so fascinating to her.
And then he had to come along. It wasn't that he didn't like Mamoru exactly, but after Usagi died, and he separated himself from everyone, it became common knowledge that he became a playboy. He was with a different girl every night.
And here he was, smiling his charming, melt any girl he pleases smile at a girl who had no idea how to deal with these things. And there he was, lifting her hand to kiss it even while he was with another girl.
But there was something wrong with Ayumi he suddenly noticed as he looked at her. She wasn't gazing adoring eyes at Mamoru. Her eyes were glazed over, as if she was somewhere else. He was just about to go over and check on her, her hand was inches away from Mamoru's mouth when the world stopped.
In a fluid motion she ripped her hand away, grabbed Mamoru's upper arm, and pulled him over her shoulder and down onto the ground. She then pressed the heel of her boot against his throat, and while he looked at her with disbelieving eyes hissed in voice Motoki would've never believed her capable of.
"I don't know who you are, and quite frankly I don't care. But I do know one thing. If you ever touch me again, I will kill you." And as he rushed over to calm the situation, and Mamoru's girlfriend was freaking out he once more looked into her eyes, and they were still glazed. And he watched, as she seemed to come to herself once more.
***
Ayumi looked down at the man on the ground, not understanding how he got there. What on earth had happened? One minute they were just meeting, and that cold feeling was nearly overwhelming her, and the next she looked down, and he was on the ground, and her foot was against his throat.
She jumped back as fast as she could, looking around herself wildy. Motoki was looking at her like he had never seen her before, and Mamoru had jumped off the ground and was trying to comfort a hysterical girl.
Something had just happened, she knew it. But she had no idea what it could have been. In an instant she had lost herself. And overwhelming fear of the unknown rushed up to overwhelm her, and she turned and ran.
She ran faster than she had ever run before. Running from the fear that had overwhelmed her, running from that man who she didn't know, yet still hated, and most importantly of all.running from herself.
She couldn't see because of the tears running rapidly down her pale cheeks. She had never really thought about her situation before. How she didn't know who she was, and she didn't know what she could do. She would have never thought there was any way she could take that man down like that, but her body knew things her mind had completely forgotten.
Finally she couldn't run any more and collapsed on her knees, and tears were still streaming down her face.
She was only there for a moment when she felt a small hand on her shoulder, which made her whip around, and she had to stop herself before she grabbed the small hand and did to the child what she did to Mamoru. She couldn't help it; her body wouldn't let her.
Sad red eyes looked down on her, and for just an instant she could have sworn she had seen those eyes before. But then that feeling was gone. And all that remained was a small pink haired stranger.
"Why are you crying?" She asked, and Ayumi didn't know what to say. "I.I don't know who I am." Came her hesitant answer.
The little girl smiled, and Ayumi felt like her heart was melting. "Well.my name is Chibiusa, so I know who I am. How can you not know who you are? I thought everyone knew that?"
Ayumi laughed, and hastily wiped her tears away. "I'm not quite sure, but I do go by Ayumi. But what are you doing in the park all by yourself? Shouldn't you have someone with you or something?"
At this Chibiusa looked down, and tears began to brim in her eyes. "What's wrong" Ayumi wanted to reach out and comfort the girl, but stopped herself. For some reason she felt so protective of the small child.
"Well.I just came to visit my parents. But when I came I couldn't find my mommy anymore. I've been looking everywhere, but the only person I've seen in so far is you. I don't understand.she was supposed to be right here."
Ayumi grabbed the girls' small hand, and looked her right in the eye. "I'll tell you what. Why don't I help you look for your parents? I'm sure they're here somewhere."
Chibiusa gave that heart-melting smile again, and nodded, wiping the tears off her face, and said cheerily "Lets go!"
***
I know, it's not much of a chapter, but I really wanted to put something up. I'll be sure to update really soon, but just remember to review, and give me ideas of what I should do now!
Email me at sirencalling@yahoo.com if you want to say ANYTHING at all!
Ja ne
In truth, it blew him away, and Motoki found himself wondering if he should bang his head just to see if there was a chance he could lose all of his memories. But then he would wonder about all that he would be losing. And then he would realize that as wonderful as he might think it is to have a blank slate, no memories to clutter your mind.Ayumi must have lost so much. She lost her name, her family, and all of the experiences in life that had made her who she was. It was like rebirth, where you were able to start over, you were also losing all of the things that you once loved. You didn't even have the memories of the happy times that made life enjoyable. And then he would also find himself wishing that she would see just one thing that she would recognize, so she could have a little bit of herself back. But despite everything, nothing had changed. She had done nothing to change the impression of perfect innocence, even though she was fast becoming anything but ignorant.
And now she was going to lose some of that. After all, there were laws that had to be followed, and eventually she would have to go to school. And he couldn't guard what she saw and did forever. Soon she would have to go out and see the world for what it was, all the bad and the good. And that would just be a tragedy.
***
Ayumi sat on her bed, looking at the only link she had to her past. She had discovered it when she had first arrived, and tried to sleep. It kept tugging on her neck when she tried to rest, until she finally couldn't take it anymore and felt at her neck and found the most beautiful necklace she had seen yet.
It was in the shape of a heart, and it had the name Amei engraved on the front of it. It was the only clue as to who she once was, and that name.Amei, it sounded so familiar even while she couldn't place it. Yet at the same time she knew it wasn't her name.
And so she cradled the silver heart in her hand, the one secret she had in this world, the only thing that was truly hers. And even while she knew she should tell Motoki about it, that he would want to know about it, and probably think it was her name or something. At the same time, it was something she needed to keep to herself, even from her savoir. Besides, she liked the name Ayumi.
But there was something that had been nagging her for a long time, and she had yet to have an answer to the problem. She knew that she was just a strange girl that came out of nowhere, a nameless face that no one knew. And yet at the same time a perfect stranger did everything for her. He saved her from the wilderness, he paid for her doctors' bill, and he also took her into his own home, giving her everything she needed. He had become the only person she had in the world, her family. And yet there was nothing she could do for him, not that she could think of anyway. And she wanted to help him so badly that it would keep her awake at night. The guilt of taking advantage of someone's kindness, and not doing anything to help him in return.
And it had already been 3 days since she had arrived. She had stayed in the apartment most of the time, because sometimes she would get so dizzy that she would have to lay down and she didn't want to risk hurting herself in a world totally unfamiliar to her. But she would stare out of the window, and watch Motoki's small TV to discover the world. It was just too wonderful to stay away from it for long, and the sound of the wind was like a voice calling her to go, to explore.to discover.
And the headaches were almost gone now, and she hadn't had a dizzy spell since yesterday. And the day stretched long ahead of her, filled with possibilities of what might happen, in a time she had yet to live.
Ayumi smiled sadly at the necklace, and clasped it back onto her neck, tucking it under her shirt so no one could see. It was time to answer the call.
***
It had been much harder than she thought it would to convince Motoki to come with her to walk around town. He was so worried about her, and afraid that something bad would happen. It was comforting in an odd way to have someone who cared about her in a world where she could be all alone, but it was irritating at the same time.
And that was why they were out there, walking away from the arcade. She was practically skipping next to Motoki, and she couldn't take in everything fast enough. There were children playing in the park, and other people going on walks. Some were even walking hand in hand for some reason. She took extra notice in these people, because there was something special about them. And aura of happiness that she could almost see. But Motoki nudged her in the side as a warning that it was rude to stare.as if he hadn't already told her that a million times. It was just so hard to look away. It wasn't like she was trying to be rude.
But at least Motoki walked by her side, quietly watching the world like she was. It was sort of funny actually, almost like he hadn't really looked at anything for a while, so was surprised at everything he saw.
Another couple caught her attention. Like all of the others she had seen so far, they were together, only they weren't holding hands. The man had his arm slung over the girls shoulder, and as she looked at him she got a cold feeling inside.
She felt Motoki stiffen next to her, and Ayumi knew that he had seen the man too. But for some reason he smiled at him, and called out. "Hello Mamoru!" Almost like he was happy to see this Mamoru guy, even though she knew he wasn't.
Mamoru walked closer to them, taking his arm off the girls shoulder. As he came closer and closer, the feeling of dread filled her. And the strangest thing was she didn't understand why. He seemed nice enough, and he was even cute if you were only interested on the outside.
He smiled at them, and it was like ice stabbing through her heard. "Hello Motoki! And who is that vision of loveliness walking with you?" He smiled charmingly, and stopped in front of them. His girl was quiet by his side, seething because the way Mamoru was looking at them.
Motoki kept up the appearance of trying to be friendly, and a little of the coldness melt because this guy was just so nice. "This is my friend Ayumi. Ayumi, I would like you to meet my old friend Mamoru."
"The pleasure is all mine, I'm sure." He said, and reached over to take her hand. She let him, and as it got closer and closer to his lips the cold feeling flooded her body until she couldn't take it anymore.
***
It was rotten luck that had to be it. He hadn't seen Mamoru for months now, and the first time he does it's with him walking with Ayumi, and he's got a slut hanging all over him. One thing was sure; he didn't mourn Usagi for very long.
And it had all been going so well, just enjoying the silence, and the scenery was something that he hadn't done in such a long time, and with Ayumi, it's more special somehow. Things that he hadn't bothered to look at twice are so fascinating to her.
And then he had to come along. It wasn't that he didn't like Mamoru exactly, but after Usagi died, and he separated himself from everyone, it became common knowledge that he became a playboy. He was with a different girl every night.
And here he was, smiling his charming, melt any girl he pleases smile at a girl who had no idea how to deal with these things. And there he was, lifting her hand to kiss it even while he was with another girl.
But there was something wrong with Ayumi he suddenly noticed as he looked at her. She wasn't gazing adoring eyes at Mamoru. Her eyes were glazed over, as if she was somewhere else. He was just about to go over and check on her, her hand was inches away from Mamoru's mouth when the world stopped.
In a fluid motion she ripped her hand away, grabbed Mamoru's upper arm, and pulled him over her shoulder and down onto the ground. She then pressed the heel of her boot against his throat, and while he looked at her with disbelieving eyes hissed in voice Motoki would've never believed her capable of.
"I don't know who you are, and quite frankly I don't care. But I do know one thing. If you ever touch me again, I will kill you." And as he rushed over to calm the situation, and Mamoru's girlfriend was freaking out he once more looked into her eyes, and they were still glazed. And he watched, as she seemed to come to herself once more.
***
Ayumi looked down at the man on the ground, not understanding how he got there. What on earth had happened? One minute they were just meeting, and that cold feeling was nearly overwhelming her, and the next she looked down, and he was on the ground, and her foot was against his throat.
She jumped back as fast as she could, looking around herself wildy. Motoki was looking at her like he had never seen her before, and Mamoru had jumped off the ground and was trying to comfort a hysterical girl.
Something had just happened, she knew it. But she had no idea what it could have been. In an instant she had lost herself. And overwhelming fear of the unknown rushed up to overwhelm her, and she turned and ran.
She ran faster than she had ever run before. Running from the fear that had overwhelmed her, running from that man who she didn't know, yet still hated, and most importantly of all.running from herself.
She couldn't see because of the tears running rapidly down her pale cheeks. She had never really thought about her situation before. How she didn't know who she was, and she didn't know what she could do. She would have never thought there was any way she could take that man down like that, but her body knew things her mind had completely forgotten.
Finally she couldn't run any more and collapsed on her knees, and tears were still streaming down her face.
She was only there for a moment when she felt a small hand on her shoulder, which made her whip around, and she had to stop herself before she grabbed the small hand and did to the child what she did to Mamoru. She couldn't help it; her body wouldn't let her.
Sad red eyes looked down on her, and for just an instant she could have sworn she had seen those eyes before. But then that feeling was gone. And all that remained was a small pink haired stranger.
"Why are you crying?" She asked, and Ayumi didn't know what to say. "I.I don't know who I am." Came her hesitant answer.
The little girl smiled, and Ayumi felt like her heart was melting. "Well.my name is Chibiusa, so I know who I am. How can you not know who you are? I thought everyone knew that?"
Ayumi laughed, and hastily wiped her tears away. "I'm not quite sure, but I do go by Ayumi. But what are you doing in the park all by yourself? Shouldn't you have someone with you or something?"
At this Chibiusa looked down, and tears began to brim in her eyes. "What's wrong" Ayumi wanted to reach out and comfort the girl, but stopped herself. For some reason she felt so protective of the small child.
"Well.I just came to visit my parents. But when I came I couldn't find my mommy anymore. I've been looking everywhere, but the only person I've seen in so far is you. I don't understand.she was supposed to be right here."
Ayumi grabbed the girls' small hand, and looked her right in the eye. "I'll tell you what. Why don't I help you look for your parents? I'm sure they're here somewhere."
Chibiusa gave that heart-melting smile again, and nodded, wiping the tears off her face, and said cheerily "Lets go!"
***
I know, it's not much of a chapter, but I really wanted to put something up. I'll be sure to update really soon, but just remember to review, and give me ideas of what I should do now!
Email me at sirencalling@yahoo.com if you want to say ANYTHING at all!
Ja ne