Hitting bottom

I am 16. I am not supposed to be healthy and rational and responsible. I am supposed to confused and experimenting and scared shitless and enraged out of my fucking mind. That is what I am. Adolescence is not etiquette, it is not amphetamines, it is not book reports or beer or student council or sex or anything definable. For adults all I can say is guide us help us do NOT try to understand what we feel, cause we don't need all the adults killing themselves. Crashing cars. that's what kills the most teenagers every year. The second top killer is suicide. What does that tell you? Teenagers have no idea who they are. I have no Idea who I am. I have no idea where I am going. that's where Tyler Durden comes in. hitting bottom. The theory is that if we have nothing, we will see who we are, not what we are defined as. See fight club for a more in depth explanation. I will hit bottom. I won't go into the details, I don't want to scare you. The point is not to be hopeless. It is to be enlightened. Buddhists fast, Christians pray, pagans sacrifice, I hit bottom. I hit bottom to be enlightened, to know, not fear, that I will die.
this is your life, doesn't get any better than this. this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time. from where you are you cannot imagine what the bottom will be like. only after disaster can we be resurrected, only after we lose everything are we free to do anything. everything is falling apart. what will you be after you lose everything, who will you be at the bottom? you must realize you will die. you have to give up. This is your life, good to the last drop. this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time. i say, evolve, and let the chips fall where they may. may i never be complete! let me never be content! (i want you to hit me as hard as you can) never become your parents, never become whole, never have a label, never be secure. risk everything, reach the bottom. welcome to fight club. in Tyler we trust.
To be free we must hit the bottom (i want you to hit me as hard as you can)
welcome to fight club. if this is your first night you have to fight.