Sunset Beach
February, 1975
The knot of tension settles into my forehead, digging back behind my eyes. I'm used to the headaches, they happen when one spends eight hours a day locked in the upper level of the library. I read more than I talk to other human beings. No one Del and Elaine tell me I'll be married to a book before I find another lover.
They don't know this headache's name is AJ Deschanel. I'd never admit it to either of them that I wish my name was on the invitation in front of me. "Armando James Deschanel and Elaine Marie Stevens invite you to share their blessed union on the twenty-seventh of February." Disgusting. I shove the invitation back into the bottom of my bag and immediately regret it. The delicate French lace and the embossed script will be ruined now. I fish it out of bag and try to smooth it off. AJ wasn't looking for a wife when we dated. That why I broke it off. I wanted marriage, I needed the stability a wealthy, weak-minded man like AJ could give me. He wouldn't interfere with my career and he would have removed me from my dangerous position as a single woman about to break into high society.
It's one thing to be beautiful, driven, successful and Mrs. So-and-so, it's quite another thing to be single. Being unattached makes me a threat to the kept women and their gilded birdcages. As long as I have some pretty boy give me his name and a ring I'm one of them, but I'll never be anyone's pet. I'll never let anyone keep me in a cage, no matter how beautiful it is.
As I smooth the wrinkles in the lace trim of the invitation, the pain in my heart edges out the tension in my head just for a moment. No matter how much I push away my desire to never belong to anyone, I can't take away the loneliness. My father warned me it would be this way. At least, he tried to get through to me. I never listen.
I shut my books on the dammed wedding invitation and get up to leave. Doesn't matter that I haven't studied the elements of pre-gold rush common law I meant to have down cold by today. I can't put myself through that at the moment. Right now I want a drink. My watch reads a few minutes past one. Del should be into his bar by now and he can never turn me down.
As I leave the library I nearly run into a man, the tall, lanky, frumpy type that reminds me of my father. He starts to apologize but I fly out of his way, saving him the trouble. He has the most extroadinary brown eyes as our gaze meets for a moment. He continues to stammer an apology, but I smile patronizingly and slip past him out into the sunshine.
The light burns into my eyes and exacerbates the headache. Maybe I shouldn't have that drink after all. I throw my bag over my shoulder and start towards the street. It's only a few blocks to Del's apartment. Madeline's still up the shore with her esteemed mother, so I'll have to fend of Del's usual method of spending an afternoon, but it'll be worth it to spend some time with someone who appreciates me. Someone who's as much of a scoundrel as I am.
"Darlin' you're far too beautiful to waste your afternoon on me." Del teases as
he drops my bag in the corner of his hall and drags me over to the bar. "But, don't let that make you think I don't appreciate it."
"It's nice to know someone appreciates me." I mutter morosely and Del stops shaking my martini.
"AJ's never been the tallest building on the block darlin' you should just let Laney have him and move on." He drops in my three olives and pours. The clear liquor splashes over the green fruit and settles lazily in my glass.
"Why didn't he want me?" I wait for my olives to absorb some of the vodka, but I know what he's answer is going to be before he makes the innuendo.
"Can't see who wouldn't, now darlin' Laney's a beautiful woman, but you're certainly something special."
His hand settles on my knee and I let a drop of vodka fall onto his hand from my empty toothpick. "Special perhaps, but not for you."
Slamming his hand into his chest in mock despair, Del pretends I've wounded him deeply. "You've never been for me, I just want to borrow you for awhile."
His hand on my shoulder sends a thrill of warmth down beneath the waistband of my skirt, but I'll never give into him and he knows it. "Who would you be borrowing me from?"
"Same person everyone else does." Del replies cryptically as he makes himself a second martini. "You belong to you and no other Olivia Blake. The best anyone, any man-" He leans over the bar and runs a hand over my left breast. It's a dirty gesture that makes me cross my legs a little tighter on my stool "Could do would be to rent you from yourself for awhile."
I push closer to him, sitting forward into his hand. "Just how much am I worth?"
He shrugs and pours the extra from his martini into my glass. "I might be able to afford an hour or two."
I take his glass and down it in a quick gulp before replying sardonically. "If you lasted long. Madeline certainly doesn't hold you in very high esteem."
"Madeline's pregnant, she doesn't care to play games with me anymore." He pouts like a little boy and squeezes into my breast with teasing fingers.
"That's what you get for getting married. Screaming snot-nosed brats who demand to be fed and changed at all hours of the night and take all your playtime away." I shudder, unable to imagine how horrible it would be to have a baby clinging to me every hour of every day. I'll leave that to Elaine and AJ. Maybe it'll make them happy.
Del raises his glass and winks at me. "Here's to playtime darlin'. Hopefully yours isn't done yet."
Sunset Beach
January, 1997
Gregory's the last person I expected to find at the hotel but he smiles at me in that sarcastic way of his and adjusts my hat. "I like the hat." He admits in a tone that could nearly be fond. "Gives you a chin."
"Thank you darling." I embrace him and kiss the air near his cheek. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without him but I'm not done with him yet. Life is too short to spend it utterly alone and at least Gregory gives me someone to come home too. Even if that home isn't what it once was. "Early meeting?"
"Yes." He replies with a smile. "Had some advertisers for the radio station. What about you?"
"Elaine's in town." He might want to see her, but he'll never come if we're having a talk about money. "We've got some business to discuss."
Cole slithers around a corner like he doesn't want to be seen in the hotel, but I can't help feeling sorry for the poor boy. Del said Elaine found out about the beach house he was renting, and the way he dropped out of law school. It certainly can't be an easy time to be him.
"Olivia- Gregory." He fiddles with the suit coat he has in hands and a gun falls to the terra cottta floor of the courtyard. "Oops." The young man dives to pick it up, but not before Gregory sees it.
"Shooting your mother, how very Orestesian of you." He sighs dramatically and I don't even understand his obscure reference.
Cole stuffs the gun away. "It's not what it looks like." He promises me with a dimpled smile. "It's a toy, I'm just trying to frighten her. Make her realize that I wasn't wasting my life-"
"No, just wasting your mother's money." Gregory quips bitterly and I glare at him to shut him up. Just because he's father of the year at home doesn't mean he knows how to raise anyone else's children.
"Why don't you let me talk to your mother?" I offer warmly, smiling to reassure the young man. "I'm sure I can convince her that she's gone too far this time. Just give me a chance."
Cole gives in and hands over the 'toy' gun into my outstretched palm. "I just want her to see reason."
"She will." I promise firmly. "Just give me some time to talk to her. Mother to mother."
Gregory coughs something into his hand but I ignore it. It's probably just another one of his jibes at my parenting ability. "I'll work things out." I tuck the gun away into my purse. I'll find out what type of 'toy' it is later. Cole hugs me suddenly, surprising me.
"You always do." He steers clear of Gregory's disapproval and disappears back towards the parking lot. I turn to the elevator, equally shocked when Gregory follows me.
"I'll come up with you. I haven't seen Elaine in aeons."