ENTRANCE
DIVISION 1: ON THE BREACH
Setting 01: 1220 DAY 0, Alcaud Plains around Balamb
"A savage race, that hoard, and sleep, and feed … know not me.
I cannot rest from travel."
-Tennyson, Alfred Lord
"Ulysses" 5
Elixir Pathetic plea.
Elixir Pathetic plea
I need an Elixir Self-evident declaration
Help me! Punctuated despair and pathetic plea
Anyone have an Elixir? Rhetorical question and wishful thinking
Please help me Pathetic plea and self-evident futility
… Pause and resumption
My poor feet Plaintive self-pity
… Pause and resumption
…? Awareness and interest
…! Sudden realization and flood of jubilance
There is Balamb Garden! Second and self-evident declaration
… Self-reassurance and calmness
There is someone coming! Awareness and suspicion
Who is there? Nonspecifically directed interrogative
Squall? Quasi-specifically directed interrogative and wishful thinking
Squall! Reckless presumption and exuberance
Is that you? Quasi-specifically directed interrogative
Hey, Squall Relation-creative-purposive address and wavering certainty
… Pause and closer inspection
…! Awareness and corollary certainty
Squall, are you there? Quasi-specifically directed interrogative, extended presumption, uncertainty, and incipient inquietude
Heavens! Awareness and reflex panic
Help me, someone! Nonspecifically directed imperative directive, growing panic, and wishful thinking
Squall! Reflex defensive assertion and specifically directed, imbedded directive
Please, no Plaintive plea, specifically directed, elliptical imperative directive, deplorable capitulation, and fear
Please Plaintive plea, specifically directed, imperative directive, and unmitigated fear
NO! Awareness, plaintive plea, specifically directed, elliptical imperative directive and recoil
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Jeremy's Scribbles:
The syntactical structure might seem a bit weird at first glance, because I have a unique method of transcribing what the aliens are communicating.
The "stage directions" after each line they communicates are necessary, and they aren't stage directions; PuPu's alien clan does not communicate with their voices, only their thoughts. They don't have facial expressions either, which means to communicate elements such as sarcasm or emotion, I have to add the "stage directions" and, if you noticed, keep the emotion-denoting punctuation marks (question or exclamation) outside of the brackets.
In actuality, those "stage directions" are called the "pragmatics" of language. The words they actually "speak" are called the "semantics" of language. Because they aren't actually making any sounds with their mouths, I used brackets instead of "quotations" to indicate what they want to communicate with their thoughts. Also, throughout the rest of the story, thoughts are italicized and speech is unmodified. So what the aliens want to communicate show up like this.
However, even by including the pragmatics after the semantics, there is still no way I can differentiate for you which alien is which. If they did not greet each other when a third or fourth being waltzed in, or say their respective names in each line, we would have no idea who the addresser and addressee were for any given statement. That is the flaw of indirect narration, I'm afraid, and I will try to find ways to rectify it.
I would appreciate your reviews for this chapter so I can see what you are thinking or feeling, so as better to go back and make corrections for other readers if I see that everyone is stumbling between the same two chapters. Also, if you catch any spelling or grammar mistakes, would you please notify me via email so that I may correct them as soon as possible? Thanks in advance.
