A/N: My thanks to Dragongirl Jun for correcting my use of German. I have made the suggested changes, but I'm sure I'll still make mistakes later on.

And I thank Jongleur for answering yesterday's physic's question. He answered Yes. (Schroedinger actually developed the idea of the cat in the box to demonstrate the absurdity of Heisenberg's statement. But most of you knew that already.) I don't recognize the Ninja in a box reference. Perhaps I should check out Rick Berman's work? All I know about him is that he does a comic strip or something on the subject.

This is also another short chapter, so I've decided to give a little test for everyone who's willing to try it. Here goes: Lift your right foot and move it around in a clockwise circle. (You can be sitting or standing while you do this.) While moving your foot, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. (This works for the left leg and arm as well).

On a closing note, Johnny's House Extensions (TM) can be ordered directly from the manufacturer. Simply send an owl to J&D Associates and a service representative will get back to you.

CHAPTER 9: AND WHAT HE FOUND THERE

Hal walked up behind Lois and gave her a hug.

"Not now, Hal. I need to finish the dishes."

"It wasn't that," Hal insisted. "It just helps me to know that you're there."

Lois turned from washing the dishes to look at her husband.

"What's wrong?"

"Malcolm. It not . . . I mean . . . It'll just sound stupid."

"Tell me, anyway. If it's stupid I'll let you know. I always do."

"Well, maybe it is me. But I was looking at Malcolm at breakfast and I noticed his eyes were brown. I always thought his eyes were blue."

"They are blue. And did you notice he got a haircut without me telling him to?"

Hal shrugged. "Not really. I thought I was lucky and missed out when you yelled at him."

"Nope. Never said a word." Lois smiled. "Don't worry, Hal. That isn't Malcolm."

"That's a relief. Who is he?"

"You know that lowlife that Francis always used to hang around with."

"Yeah. Greaser. That isn't him, is it? Some magic spell or something?"

Lois glared at Hal. "Of course not. That's his son, Louis. He's taking Malcolm's place so we won't worry about him."

Hal nodded. "That's nice of him. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's a secret. They don't want either of us to know that Malcolm is missing."

"Is Malcolm missing?"

"Of course not, Hal. He had an accident as an owl and he forgot that he's human. He's living with his little girlfriend until he gets better. She sends him to me with a letter every week so I can see how he's doing."

Hal smiled in understanding, then frowned when he realized he didn't understand. "Honey, if you know about Malcolm, why are they trying to hide the fact that Malcolm is missing when he really isn't?"

"I told you, they don't want me to worry. They don't know what happened to him."

With annoyance, Hal asked, "Who are they, anyway?"

"Dewey and Nob, that boy Louis and his dad, and David Winter. Draco probably knows but I can't prove it. I think he went looking for Malcolm. Which is a nice thing for him to do, if he's actually doing it. And it's nice of them, too. Going through all of this just to keep me from worrying." She paused. "And don't you tell them, either. I want to keep Louis around here for a while."

"Why him?"

"Did you take a good look at him, Hal. He's mostly skin and bones compared to Malcolm. I bet living here is the first time he's eaten three meals a day on a regular basis. I'm not saying that his dad doesn't love him or anything, but that doesn't mean he knows anything about raising children. You can't just let your kid eat whatever he wants because it's easier than cooking."

"Yeah. It's important," Hal said dreamily.

"You're not paying attention, are you?"

"What?"

It was a bright, sunny day. The park was the place to be.

"Malcolm," Malcolm said as he lay on the grass. "I hate that name."

"So do I," Dewey said from where he sat. "You know what's worse. Telling you how to be just like him. It's bad enough I had to suffer through all of those things, but now I have to recall them as well, and relate why you did them."

"Shut up, Dewey."

"And another thing. Except for not being real smart, you're acting exactly like him."

"I'm supposed to, you little jerk."

"Malcolm."

"Ugh. What is it?"

"What if he doesn't come back."

"Don't ever say that, Dewey. Ever. He's coming back. He has too. And if he doesn't, I want to know before Mom finds out so I can be miles away from here."

David Winter cleared his throat from where he sat on the park bench. "If the two of you are through bickering, I want to give you an update on what's going on."

"You're frowning," Dewey noted. "You didn't find Malcolm."

"We do know a lot of places he isn't," David said without humor. "But we have to deal with the two of you going back to school."

"Whadja mean?" Malcolm asked. "I'm home schooled."

"It shows," David replied. "But, with your father's permission and the acquiescence of the headmaster, you will be spending one semester at Hogwarts if Malcolm doesn't return."

"No way. I quit. Get yourself another Malcolm."

"Mister Winter," Dewey pointed out. "Malcolm's been expelled. He can't go back there. He attacked a teacher."

David smiled. "No. He didn't. Thirty Nine first-years offered to testify that Malcolm did not move a muscle to cast that or any other spell.. And after a private discussion with Deputy Minister Umbridge, she withdrew her complaint, adding that she probably tripped. The fact that they have a new Minister of Magic helped out."

Dewey frowned. "Then Malcolm's coming back this year."

"If we find him. And we will. And you will be happy to know that we've arranged a trip for both of you to Diagon Alley if need be, so that you can get your school supplies."

Malcolm frowned. "You're really sending me away to that school?" He sighed. "At least it ain't Beauxbatons. I don't think I could deal with that girl, Gabrielle, and her stupid letters about what a wonderful boy I am. Do you know that she writes every week."

"Do you write back?"

"Yeah, and she's sending her letters to Mom, uh, his mom, trying to talk her into letting me, him, go to her school."

"Isn't love wonderful."

"Yeah, but that owl of hers hates me for some reason. And I didn't even come close the last time when I threw that book at it. It's a stupid owl anyway. She only got it because it looks like me, er, Malcolm."

David smiled. He knew all about the owl.

"Is Malcolm coming back?" Nob asked.

Dewey shrugged. "I don't know."

"What happened to him."

"I don't know."

"Draco went to look for him. Didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Did he find him?"

"Not yet."

"He'll be back. He's fine," Nob said with authority.

Dewey stopped himself from laughing. Malcolm was his brother but that didn't stop him from feeling bad about what happened. "How can you be so sure?"

"I believe it. If you believe it, it must be true."

"Nob, that's stupid. You know that guy who hangs out down the street from Lucky Aid. The one who claims the world is going to end next week."

"Yeah?"

"He believes that. But that doesn't mean he's right."

Nob gave Dewey a frown. This was not the hopeful support he wanted.

"Maybe it will."

"Maybe he's wrong. He was. Last week. And the week before. Maybe he believes it because he really wants the world to end."

"But I want Malcolm to come back." Nob's voice became small.

"Me too. But I can only hope."

"Hope?"

"Like the last time Malcolm disappeared. If he did it before, he can do it again."

"Hope? That's like wanting something to happen and it still can?"

"Yeah. Like that story in the Daily Prophet."

Nob's eyes lit up. "The one about the boy who was rescued from the werewolves?"

"That's the one. His parents didn't give up hope, even when things looked really bad. And what happened?"

Nob's voice betrayed his excitement as he recalled the article. "A powerful wizard rescued him and brought him to Saint Mungo's so they could cure him. They said the werewolves were furious."

Dewey smiled at his brother. "And those werewolves made stupid mistakes and gave themselves away, and now we don't have as many to worry about. And that kid is back with his parents."

"Dewey? Will the wizard rescue Malcolm?"

"Maybe? We can only hope."

Nob nodded happily at the thought. Hope was a lot better than belief. It seemed more real. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice as Dewey took his chance and ditched him.

The next morning, just after breakfast, Hal walked into the living room.

"Son," Hal said with excitement.

Louis looked up. "Yeah, Dad."

"I've been thinking it over and I realized. We haven't spent any time together as father and son in quite a while. So, I talked it over with your mother and she agreed to let me take you to work with me today. Just to spend time with each other. And to let you know what to expect when you grow up. Miserable working conditions. Bosses who know less about life than you do, but have the owner of the company as their uncle or father-in-law or something like that. It'll be an experience you'll never forget, regardless of how hard you try."

Louis almost told Hal the truth. "Sure, Dad. It sounds like fun. Do I have to wear a suit and tie?"

"I don't think you have one. You've grown since the last time you wore the last one. Maybe one of Reese's might fit. Your normal clothes should be fine. And one more thing. Don't tell your mom. Okay."

"Sure?"

"HONEY," Hal called out, "I'm going to drop Malcolm off at the park on my way to work. He wants to meet his friends."

"DID HE BRUSH HIS TEETH?"

"YES," Louis called out.

"FINE."

"Okay," Hal whispered. "Let's go."

Once in the car, Hal pulled of his tie and threw it in the back seat. "I've got a surprise for you, Malcolm. We're not going to work. I took the day off."

"Where are we going?"

Hal smiled. "Have you ever heard of NASCAR?"

Louis looked at Hal with worship in his eyes.

Lois glared at Hal when he and Malcolm arrived home. Dewey was glaring at Malcolm.

"Hal, I need to talk to you. In the bedroom. NOW."

"Hal, are you crazy? What did you think you were doing? What did I tell you about keeping a secret."

"Honey, I didn't tell him any secrets. I told him I haven't spent much time with him and that I had a surprise. We went to the racetrack. Stock Cars, not horses."

"Your new T-Shirt with the checkered flag on it gave that part away. Why?"

To Lois's surprise, Hal became angry.

"I'll tell you why? In all the time since Francis was born, I have NEVER had one decent trip with any of my kids. Something has always happened. I mean, we've shared some good times, but can you remember a single time we've ever tried to do anything with the kids and it worked out? Even with Nob?"

"Of course I can, Hal."

"Well?"

"Okay, I can't. It's all I can do to keep them from screwing up any more than they do." Lois took a deep breath. "So. What happened?"

Hal's voice betrayed his excitement. "It was great. It was perfect. If I had known it was going to be that good I would have brought you along too, just to see it. I told Malcolm, um, you know who, that we were sneaking out and when I told him where we were going you could see his eyes light up. We got there, and he loved the seats. He loves racing but he never had the chance to go. Lois, we had a GREAT time."

"And you bought him a cap to make him happy?"

"No," Hal said mockingly. "He was already happy, and well behaved. I guess the kids forgot to tell him how Malcolm acts. The hat was a memento, something to remember the good time we had."

"And that?" Lois asked pointing to the scroll under Hal's arm."

"They have this new feature, Hal said as he unrolled the poster. They take your picture and put you standing in front of your favorite car with the driver. Rusty Malcolm was racing today, you remember him. I told Malcolm that's who he was named after."

Hal showed Lois the poster. Hal and Louis were standing on either side of Malcolm's namesake in a very realistic pose. All three were smiling."

Lois nodded approvingly. "It's amazing what they can do with computers these days. How did they get the driver with his hand resting on Malcolm's shoulder like that."

"This day just kept getting better and better, Lois. I told Malcolm about Rusty while we were waiting in line, just as Rusty's girlfriend was walking by. And I didn't even know it."

"I thought he was married? And didn't he retire?"

"He got divorced last year. That's why he went back to racing. Anyway, his girlfriend invites us to meet Rusty, and guess what?" Hal started jumping up and down in his excitement. "That's the real Rusty. That's his real car. And that's his real autograph in the corner. And he autographed Malcolm's poster as well. It was the best day I ever had. Louis said it was the best day he ever had." Hal sat on the bed in exhaustion. "We both had a wonderful time." He looked up at Lois. "I just thought of a perfect ending."

"Malcolm, can I talk to you for a minute?" Dewey waited until his parents had left the living room. "Are you crazy," he said in an angry whisper. "What did you do?"

Malcolm grinned and pointed to the cap he was wearing. "It's called NASCAR. Oh man, Dewey, it was so cool. We were high enough to see the whole track but not too high, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't. But if my Dad suspects something?"

"Dad? Suspect? What's to suspect. We went to the racetrack. We had a great time. Dad is so cool . . ."

"NO. He isn't. He's Dad. We never spend time with him if we can help it."

"Well, we did. We had a great time. And we found out we actually like each other. We both like cars. And motorcycles. And we both hate light beer. And . . ."

"He bought you a beer?" Dewey asked in amazement.

"I asked if I could have one. He said it had to be a light beer. It was a really cool moment. I said naw, I don't like light beer and his put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'That's my boy.' I mean, he was proud of me because of that. We're going to a baseball game this weekend."

Dewey was amazed. "Malcolm, you do remember you're really Louis, don't you."

"No, I'm not. I spent all this time learning to talk like Malcolm and act like Malcolm. I'm going to be Malcolm, and I'm going to be the type of Malcolm I want to be. And I want to be a nice Malcolm because a nice Malcolm gets things. Like a dad who takes him to the racetrack, and to baseball games, and he hinted about going camping, but we'll have to bring the rest of you guys if we do that. That'll be a family thing."

"Louis? Your dad doesn't do any of that?"

"Pop? My old man's always too busy. If I asked him to go camping he'd send me to camp for a couple of weeks. He'd get me tickets for a game if I wanted to go. But your old man . . . he took me, as a surprise, just because he wanted to do something with his own kid. Why? You got a problem with that."

"What do we do when Malcolm gets back?"

"That's your problem, kid. Until then. I'm havin' fun with my family. You wanna play catch or something."

"No way . . . um, yeah, I would like that." Dewey gave Louis a strange look. "I never had a brother who wanted to just do stuff."

"I'm getting my glove and ball. I'll be in the backyard if you want to join me."

Dewey stared in surprise. A nice brother? Like in the movies? He looked where Malcolm was coming out of their bedroom. Malcolm grinned and tossed Dewey a glove. They went out back and had a wonderful time. Hal came out to watch them and when Nob wandered by, they ganged up on him and taught him how to play. And when Lois called them to dinner, four happy and cheerful boys sat around the table and talked about racing and baseball and all sorts of things.

Lois smiled as she looked over at Hal and the boys. They found a lovely spot near the river and away from most of the other picnickers. Hal was helping Nob untangle his fishing line. Lois noticed him stop to look up. Dewey had snagged a fish and Malcolm was coaching him on how to reel it in. There would be another picture, and then they would throw the fish back.

"Honey," Hal called with a smile, "Can you watch my fishing pole. I'm going to be a while with this." His hands were filled with fishing line.

Lois laughed and walked to the river's edge and picked up the pole. Suddenly she felt a tug. "I don't believe it. I've got a bite."

"Good going, Mom," Malcolm called out. "Don't let it get away."

"Look," Dewey shouted when the fish jumped. "That's the biggest one I've seen all day."

Lois reeled in the fish. A picture was taken with everyone standing with her and admiring the fish. Then Nob fell in the water and refused to come out. Fishing was over and swimming began. After everyone was tired, they crawled out of the river and ate everything that had been packed. Still hungry, they made a stop at Burger Barn on the way home. Another happy day had ended and another photo of the family would find it's place on the wall.