Chapter Ten:

As I rode the elevator all I could think about was sleep. Every muscle in my body was craving it. I yawned into my fist. I needed a job that didn't make me feel so dead at the end of the day.

When I walked into the apartment the scent of sautéed mushrooms, green peppers, onion and well cooked steak almost knocked me over. Forget about sleep. All I wanted now was to sit down and devour every last bit of the meal. I followed my nose to the kitchen.

"Yum," I said to Ranger. He gave me the full 200 watt smile. I looked at the table. A crisp white table cloth had been laid out, and there were candle sticks on the table. This was not the Ranger I knew.

"Ella's idea. She set up the whole thing." He answered my questioning look. He set the plates on the table and filled our glasses with wine. Before I could sit down, he pulled my chair out for me. I liked gentlemanly Ranger.

"Don't get used to this. I don't normally eat like this."

"Okie Dokie." Oh, my god. I am such a dope! Ranger's lips turned up in an almost smile.

We both dug in. I ate my meal in what seemed like two bites. It was so delicious I was drooling.

"So," I began feeling more relaxed, "What is Ranger really like?" He stared at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked slowly.

"Well, I only see one side of you mostly. The crime fighting Batman one. But I have no idea what you're really like. I mean it's like I only see the person you want me to see. But the person you want me to see is really mysterious and doesn't talk much so I really don't even know who you or that person is. Do you understand what I mean? You leave me in the dark on so many things!" I would have continued rambling but he cut me off.

"What do you want to know?'

"What? Oh, um, I don't know. Well tell me about your daughter and you're ex-wife. What happened?" He gave me a long hard look before he answered.

"Not much to tell. We were young when we got married and we were young when we had Lily. We spilt up because she couldn't handle the life I was living. We both decided it was best if she had custody of Lily because of my job. I visit Lily when I'm in Florida, and no, I don't have a bad relationship with her mother."

Okay. "What was your wife's name?"

"Michelle," he said very quietly. I nodded slowly.

"All right! Next question," I said eager to move on. I didn't really want to hear about his ex-wife. "How long have you known Tank?"

"My whole life." Ranger answered simply. Damn, he was acting like his annoying, mysterious self again. I felt like this was going nowhere. I knew to get anything juicy I'd have to go back to the topic of his ex-wife.

"Have you had a serious relationship since Michelle?" I asked testing her name. Ranger looked almost caught off guard.

"Not really. There's been some one for awhile but I haven't figured her out yet." Oh. A small shadow of doubt crossed my mind and I was filled with too many emotions. All left me confused.

"Who is she?" I asked, my heart hammering outside of my chest. All the voices in my head went silent, waiting for a response.

"You," Ranger said after a couple beats of silence. "She's you." I felt myself float out of my body towards the ceiling. I watched the scene from above. Ranger looked very tense and I looked dumb-founded. Not the best look for me.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked one I had floated back into my body. That was the only voice in my head that was making any sense so that was the response I went with.

"How could I have? You were with Morelli. I couldn't do that to you. I just," he took a deep breath, "didn't want you to get hurt and ruin any chance with both of us. I thought you two were going to get married. I always believed you wanted to be with him more than me."

"And now," he continued, "Everything is different. You guys have broken up for good," he shot me a questioning look. I nodded slightly. "So it's free game. But I just don't want to break your heart. I don't want you to constantly worry about me and fear for my life. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to us. I don't want us to end up like Michelle and I did." He paused and checked my reaction. I was so caught up in the moment my face was totally blank. I felt frozen in place.

"I guess what I'm trying to tell you," he cleared his throat, "I just want to say I…I love you." Wow. Double wow.

"Um, uh, I don't really know what to say. Thank-you?" I am the biggest, absolutely biggest dope to ever walk the Earth! Ranger looked at me sadly. I wanted desperately to say it back but the words wouldn't come out.

"Forget it," Ranger mumbled. "I'm going to bed." I watched him get up and hurry into his bedroom. The doors slammed behind him. Did I mention what a big dope I am?

Sighing to myself, I blew out the candles and cleared the table. Great, I said to myself, you finally get him to open up and then you shoot him down. Stephanie Plum, master of screwing up relationships.

Once I finished cleaning up, my exhaustion caught up with me. I dragged my feet over to the couch and flopped down. I couldn't wait for sleep to come.

Two hours later I was still awake. My guilt and feelings toward Ranger deprived me of sleep. I desperately wanted to run into his bedroom and tell him how I really felt, but I couldn't. How ironic, the man who hardly talked could say the three most important words in the English language, and yet I, a non-stop talker wasn't able to say them. Another reason I couldn't say my feelings was Joe. I still had feelings for him. Why did I have to be such an indecisive idiot?

Around midnight I finally fell asleep. I kept having nightmares about Mueller chasing me and Ranger and Joe just standing there watching. I'd ask them for help but they'd just look at me. It was unsettling.

At seven, I finally got up. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of orange juice. I was sitting at the table reading the newspaper when Ranger walked into the kitchen.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," he commented after an awkward silence.

"I didn't sleep well." I admitted. He nodded very slightly just like he used to when we first met. It made me very sad.

"Ranger," I started, but he interrupted me before I could go on.

"I'm going now. Here are the keys to a SUV; Tank will show you which one." He'd said stiffly. Then he abruptly left the apartment. I sighed into my empty glass.

It took me ten minutes to get ready. I skipped the shower and threw my hair into a sloppy ponytail. The only makeup I wore was two coats of mascara. I dressed in my normal uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. I looked how blah I felt.

Tank was waiting for me in the garage.

"So what is going on between you guys? I haven't seen Ranger this upset since he and was wife spilt. What happened?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"Not yet, but he will once he calms down. Everyone working for him is going to be pissed at you. He's already barking at people."

"Great, now not just he will hate me, but the entire crew." My headed began to slowly pound. What a crappy start to the day.

"No, they won't. Some might," Tank said gently joking. I rolled my eyes. He then directed me to my SUV. It was nice, but it was definitely not as nice as the Porsche, or even the truck. It was very impersonal and I felt twice as depressed as I already was. Tank noticed my mood.

"Look, Bombshell, he loves you. I and know you feel the same way. You just need to give him time. He'll come around." I knew he'd come around. The question was would I ever?