"Slipping Away
Chapter 1: Anchored
I'm tongue tied and waiting hoping and praying lying beside you longing to touch you. But this, feels like the end.
I'm so tired, we are drifting to far. Eyes close, inside me thinking there might be some way but this feels like the end.
What went wrong? I need to know. I can feel your letting go, though there is so much to say I'm tongue tied… hmmm. . I'm waiting. . . hmmm. . . hmmm.. . I'm tongue-tied and waiting, hoping and praying, so near yet so far alone together still this feels like the end. . . still this. . . Feels like the end. . . hmmm. . . oh. . . feels like… feels like the end. . .
Feels Like the End- Song By AquaLung
The paper fell from Gilbert Grissom's shaking hand as if in slow motion. Had it really come to this? Dear God, had he – in some way- pushed her to this? There was something pressing inside him – telling him to find her, to talk to her, to do something, damn it!
Only he couldn't, he was anchored to his seat by the fear that even if he did tell Sara everything he felt -everything he had held so tightly inside him for so long- that she might still leave and that what she had once felt towards him no longer existed.
After she left would he ever see her beautiful face again? Hear her voice? Her laugh?
He sat there staring fixedly at his hands- trembling even as they clenched so tightly that the nails carved half-moons into the surface of his calloused palms.
All Sara Sidle knew was that she had been waiting for him for more then five years and she couldn't do it any longer.
She looked at Grissom across the break room to where he was studiously ignoring her. What had she been thinking? That he would chase after her? Sweep her into his arms and kiss her with the passion told only in Shakespearean tales? That had been a silly fantasy, and one that she knew would never come to pass. . . and yet. . . she still held a small bit of hope that maybe. . . but it was silly and foolish to think of these things.
"Do you feel anything for me Grissom?" she hadn't intended to speak but the words escaped in a breathy whisper anyway, "Tell me you love me and I swear I'll stay. . . I swear it."
Grissom turned as if he had heard her even though that was impossible, he was on the other side of the room and she had barely said those words loud enough for she herself to hear them. His eyes caught hers and there was such pain reflected there that she had to look away. 'How can I leave him?' The thought rocketed through her mind and steadily burned a hole into her heart, for a mere second she nearly gave into the thought, but she quickly dismissed it. Her course was set and baring some miracle (during which Grissom would get down on his knees, beg her to stay, admit his undying love yada yada yada) she would be leaving at the end of her two weeks here.
As far as her planning went after she left she would never see Gil Grissom again. Sara ignored the sharp pain that lanced through her heart at the thought.