Chapter 12.
She watched them talking and laughing and flirting together from where she stood, leaning forwards and against the thick trunk of the tree that partially obscured her from view, forehead resting onto the rough bark, making her skin itch. Though it was not as if they would have seen her anyway. They were obviously too busy with taunting each other, smiles wide as they knocked shoulders while they worked together to continue dismantling Ana's shelter before moving over to work on Sawyer's.
Part of her wanted nothing more than for the other woman to glance up at that moment in time and lock her gaze onto her, just so that she would have the excuse to go another round with Ana-Lucia and take all of her frustration, her anger and resentment out on the Latino woman.
Kate winced, however, remembering the feel of Ana's fists upon her. Colliding with her face. Splitting open her eyebrow. Sending her to the ground. She touched the split marring her usually straight, sleek brow tentatively, where Jack had cleaned it and patched it up with thin strips of surgical tape the night before and a sharp, fiery pain lanced through her skull.
But Ana-Lucia did not look up and spot her. She didn't seem to realise, to be aware that there were any other people within a three hundred mile radius, except for the blonde man beside her, trying his best to dismantle his own tent without letting on that his injured arm was still troubling him.
"Looks like they're moving out." Jack's voice came from behind her, startling her out of her contemplations and making her spin to face him. Guilt painted her cheeks flaming red, and shame at having been caught. "Guess they're heading down to the beach."
"I wouldn't know." Kate responded, trying to keep her voice even, to keep it from betraying the true emotions that swam deep in her blood. Coursed through her veins.
She made to sweep past him, to escape the sudden discomfort that clawed at them where they stood, like the talons of a predator striking at it's pray, but Jack's hand struck out, encircling her wrist and halting her movements. Bringing them back, face-to-face.
His eyes were darker than Sawyer's were. Not blue. Not green or brown but somewhere between the three. Something as insubstantial as the dark of the night sky or deep water. Deep enough to be lost in and she wanted nothing more than to allow herself the luxury of losing herself right then. To erase the pain that she felt and the remorse for what she had done and said the prior evening. She had betrayed Sawyer's trust one time too many and while Ana-Lucia's assault had hurt her physically, the loss of Sawyer's attention and the camaraderie between them was a greater blow for her to bare.
"Let go, Jack." she sighed, allowing weariness to creep into her tone and though she would never before have allowed herself to show such weakness to anyone, let alone the man stood before her, right then she didn't care.
"I know it's hard, Kate." he began, his grip on her wrist loosening slightly but before she could break away and escape from him, from whatever lecture he was about to give her, his other hand, large and warm, came down to cup her shoulder, pinning her to the spot. A comforting and yet restricting weight and she had to fight the urge to lean forwards into his embrace. "But you have to respect the choice that he's made. That they've both made…Just like I have to." he lowered his eyes from hers and Kate stared at him in shock, mouth slightly agape.
"You mean to tell me-!" she started, eyebrows drawn together into a confused, irate frown and Jack merely nodded his head.
"Ana-Lucia and I had a connection, just like you and Sawyer did." he admitted and Kate pulled away from him suddenly, green eyes flashing dangerously. Warning him to explain himself or stop while he was ahead.
"You 'had a connection'? What? It just sprung up over the past few days that we've known her! Attraction doesn't grow on trees, Jack! You can't catch it like the common cold!"
Jack smiled at that. He would have laughed at her use of words and imagery if she hadn't been so furious at that particular moment. Instead he swallowed it down, shrugging his powerful shoulders and his eyes flicker back up to meet hers.
"We met before the plane crashed. Before we boarded. In the airport." he replied, allowing his gaze to continue, flowing over from Kate's shoulder to land upon the Hispanic woman that they were currently discussing. "Who knows what could have happened if the plane hadn't crashed or if I'd traded seats with her like she'd asked me to or if you had gotten on that raft instead of Sawyer." he paused to swallow again, running a hand back over his closely cropped hair and swinging his stare back onto Kate fully, focusing upon her intent, curious glare. "If…"
She folded her arms, crossing them over her chest defensively and considered his statement with a wariness that he had come to expect from her.
"If?" she repeated. "If you're going to try and tell me that this has all happened because of fate or destiny or some other bullsh-"
"Not at all." Jack countered, interrupting her with a raised hand, begging silently for her to hear him out. "No fate. Not destiny. They're Locke's forte." he smiled once more and wider still when Kate's lips twitched up at the corners with barely concealed amusement, so very near, edging on a smirk. "Choices, Kate. It's all to do with choices that we've made along the way and now you have another one to make. So do I."
Kate considered him curiously. Where was he heading with his little pep-talk? What did he hope to gain from it? What did he think he was going to accomplish? Her mid only drew blanks and seeing the uncomprehending light flash into her eyes, Jack continued speaking earnestly.
"You have to decide whether you are going to go all out and go after him. Erase those choices that you've made and that have led you and him down separate paths or…are you going to leave him to his happiness? Are you going to live with those decisions that you made, Kate, you made, and see where this new road is going to take you?" he paused finally, spreading his arms wide, inviting her to consider him fully and suddenly she knew the hidden meaning behind his words. As if she had been stuck by lightening she knew why he was stood before her, instead of going after Ana-Lucia, instead of striving for the other woman's affection and renewing their bond.
He had made his choice. He had chosen her, Kate, and now he was waiting to see if she would choose him in return.
Her eyebrows raised in realisation as she opened her mouth to speak, his name coming out in a single breath, a mixture of shock and awe and emotion.
"What'll it be, Kate?"
She stood still for a long moment, simply studying him. The concern deep in the lines of his face. Worry laced with exhaustion and regret. Regret for what he could have had with Ana-Lucia…And yet, he was stood before her! He had chosen her, even if the torch that he carried for the Latino woman had not entirely gone out. Even though he knew that the fire that burned within Kate herself for Sawyer was stronger again. He had faith. Faith in himself and that the choices that he had made along the way were the right ones. He had faith in her that she would ultimately make the decision that was right for her, no matter the repercussions on him and it was that, that unwavering support whichever way she decided to go. After Sawyer or to stay with him. It was his support that made her swallow hard at the lump of emotion sticking in her throat. That made her take his face in her hands and close the distance between them both physically and emotionally.
Kate made her selection. Kate made her choice and though she knew that she had a long way to go before she could let Sawyer completely out of her heart, she also knew that she wouldn't have to do so alone. Jack would be there for her, her guiding light, and she would strive her hardest to be there for him.
"This is the road I choose." she whispered, squeezing her eyes together so hard that dots of brilliant, blinding brightness danced there in her dark mind. "I want to see where it takes me."
She didn't even need to open her eyes for her lips to seek out Jack's as she wound her arms about his neck and crushed herself to him. Her mind was a blur of joy and sadness. Her eyes stung with the first hints of tears and yet her heart fluttered like a bird, caged, waiting to be set free. She poured herself into Jack's kiss. Her kiss. Let the feel of him blind her, even if it was only briefly, to the hurt that she felt, knowing that to a certain extent he felt it himself and when she finally pulled away, breathless, she didn't run. Didn't bolt like her instincts told her to, and as if Jack had read that fleeting thought in her jade eyes, he reached out a hand to take hers, clasping it tightly.
"Don't worry," she breathed finally, smiling brightly and squeezing his hand back reassuringly. "I'm done running."
And for the first time, deep down in her heart, she meant it.
-oOo-