Fiction #10, chapter 4
Dr. Lebowitz arrived without much fanfare. Both men were awake and watching TV when he entered the room.
"I hear you are wide awake and conversing with the rest of the world Mr. Taylor. How are you feeling?" He looked briefly at the chart before sitting down on the chair next to Justin's bed.
"Everything is a bit surreal right now Dr. I'm tired, I hurt - but not much - it's like a far away hurt, and it's all over my body. Things make sense but they don't. Shit, I don't know how I feel."
Brian smiled at that last part. Justin was really sounding like the old Justin. It was good to hear. He had lots to ask the doctor, but he held off for the moment.
Dr. Lebowitz continued, "Justin I want to do some quick tests to see what's going on with your central nervous system's signals. Now, I know the nurses and probably Brian here have shared some information with you about your injury. I want to share this with you: regardless of what I see during our test today, your condition will be in a constant state of flux. And while your mobility and sense of feeling will never get permanently worse it will move around a lot. Some days things will feel right, others you'll ache all day. Some days you'll be able to move freely, others you'll need the assistance of canes, braces, etc, and on the worst days you won't want to move at all. There is a lot of pain involved with this injury. It's typical, don't fight it. Let us give you something to help. The pain in daunting at first, but it will diminish with time. Again, every day will be different, so don't get your hopes pinned on today's outcome."
With that said the doctor listened to Justin's air way for a moment. "Sounds good. You're pushing air in and out with normal force, that's a good thing."
Then he moved on to check for sensation at each level of Justin's arms from the shoulder all the way down to the tips of his fingers. Sometimes Justin's body flinched from the tongue depressor's ticklish touch, sometimes it didn't. "Okay, at this point it seems the insides of both arms are a bit dulled to sensitivity. You have the inner fingers dull but outer two on both hands with good sensation. Another good sign, since some finger sensation usually means most or all will come back with therapy and rest."
Justin smiled when he heard this. Brian made an audible sigh of relief. The potential of Justin losing all chances of traditional painting or drawing abilities weighed heavily on both of their minds. In the brief time Justin had been cognizant of his condition they hadn't talked about the issue of complete hand paralysis, it was good to hear this particular bridge would not have to be crossed.
Next the doctor palpitated Justin's abdomen and listened to it with his stethoscope. "I hear a lot of movement inside, another good sign, your digestive track is working and sounds hungry."
Brian finally interrupted, "When can he eat real food? He's been on a liquid diet for five days now."
Dr. Lebowitz smiled and said, "I don't see why you can't start on soft food at your next meal. Just take it slow."
It was Justin's turn to smile, "I don't know if I want to eat anything, I really feel like shit all of a sudden. Is this what you're talking about 'a state of flux'?" The doctor nodded his head in agreement with Justin's observation.
"I want to finish this exam on the legs." He pulled back the sheets and looked over all the metal rod exit points on Justin's legs. "These look great. I know they may not to you, but there is no redness or swelling. I would think if they stay this way thru the weekend you'll be able to get the pins out on Monday and get rid of the halos. After that's done, you can start physical therapy."
Brian moved in closer to Justin and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze while the doctor made some notes on his chart.
"Okay here's what I'm thinking, if the legs continue and you start PT on Monday you could possible get moved to a step down facility by late next week. I can recommend a few that are close by or find out what's in your local area. With all progress consistently good, you would be at that facility for another two to three weeks, then home. And honestly, even when you go home, I may suggest a live in or all day care provider at first. Remember, it's not about working harder to recover faster, it is working hard to recover well. There's a big difference. The typical time period for recovery from your type of spine injury alone is usually six to eight weeks. Couple that with the profound work that will need to be done with your legs, I would add another four to six weeks to the recovery."
Brian stood up and thanked the doctor, he spoke to them with an ease that Brian appreciated. Justin thanked the doctor as well, although his was through a slightly tear filled facial expression.
Dr. Lebowitz left to check in at the nurses station, and let them know that Justin could be moved out of the ICU tomorrow.
Brian sat on the bottom corner of his partner's bed. He ran his fingers through his head and waited. The bed trembled a bit and when he looked up Justin was crying. Before Brian could say anything Justin was yelling, "Why the fuck does it always have to be me? What is this, I don't wish bad karma on anyone, but I'm sick of this." Brian moved up the bed until he was sitting next to Justin. He pulled him into a hug, but instead of calming Justin it had the opposite effect, he got angry.
"I can't even hug you if I want to, Christ this is the worst." To which Brian responded, "Yea it is, but there's only improvements from here. Cry Justin, it does suck. But get as much of this out of you as you can right now. You've just been handed the biggest challenge of your life and you will take it on and do great. But for now, just cry, because it really does suck.