Fic 10 chapter 5

The day Justin found every detail of his accident from Brian, the nurses, and his doctor was by far his worst day emotionally. This was not a surprise to anyone. And even though he was also moved out of ICU that day and he was able to begin eating more normally again he was distraught. Brian was so happy to see him talking and participating in the conversations that had taken place, only to have it turn to sadness when Justin shut himself off.

The next day brought a 'real' breakfast. Justin ate. Brian fed him. They made small talk and little jokes, but there was sadness and stress just under the surface.

"Justin if you don't eat this yummy oatmeal, I may just have to. I think it has some sort of fruit re-hydrated in it. See the little snotty looking things there? That's them. Must be apple or maybe a peach." Brian was smiling the whole time while he stirred. Justin smiled too, but it was a bit strained. His eyes, the brightest they had been in days, had tears welling in them.

"Fuck Brian. Don't. I can't do this. How long will this go on?" He turned away and was quiet again.

"What did we say yesterday Justin? We can't do this. Not everyday, it's counter productive. This sucks, it does, there is no denying it. But the more you sink, the worse it is. I can feed you a whole bunch of 'happy thoughts', hell I'll go buy you an inspirational booklet from the gift shop if that's what you want. But we've never done things that way, at least not recently. You want to come home, you want to be whole and independent, you want to be well, you want to create again? That's what I want for you too. Let's start here at zero and begin. We'll do stuff that works for us, and when all the experts tell us what else to do, we'll do that too. Okay?"

Justin looked back at Brian, and while the pained look was still on his face, he managed a smile, "Yea, it's what we have to do, what I have to do. Just keep me on the straight path here Brian. And I don't mean that straight! You know me, you always say I'm so brave. I'm not, I get a lot of my strength from you. I'd never admit to it in public, but I do. So when I get low, smack me out of it. I don't want to waste time. Shit! I have a commission to do, 4 paintings for that client in Sedona and I don't want to give it up."

By this point both men had watery eyes, but no one was crying. Brian smiled and pointed at the rapidly cooling oatmeal, "So is it peaches or apples?"

Justin laughed, "I don't give a shit, just give me some I'm hungry."

"How about we try this?" Brian put his hand over Justin's and braced him to hold his own spoon. It was awkward, so he moved closer to Justin. They tried the next spoonful. This worked better and they continued in silence. It was broken after several bites by Justin, "Thanks. I can actually feel the spoon on some of my fingers, but when I try to close them they get all 'pin and needley' on me."

The rest of breakfast was done the same way. Just before they finished, Mikey knocked at the door.

"Come in." Justin said.

"Hey look who's alive and eating even! How great Justin! Brian I brought you some breakfast from the diner. Mom sends both of you rib crushing hugs, which I had to endure before I left to come here. She wants to come by after her shift is done if that's okay. Brian, can you call the diner and let her know? She's done at 2:30." Mikey moved into the room with ease, and while he still had a slightly pinched look when he saw Justin's bruised face and body, he did an adequate job of hiding it. "You really do look great Justin."

"Michael could you stay a bit?" Justin's question had Michael and Brian confused. "I was wondering if you had time to tell me what the hell happened? I'm starting to see images in my mind of that day and Brian's told me that you are the best person to talk to about it."

Mikey glanced at Brian, who only nodded his approval silently before answering, "Sure, the shop doesn't open until 10AM today and I don't have anywhere else to go before then. Brian why don't you take a break and go get some coffee to go with the food I brought, and I'll help Justin finish up his breakfast."

Brian rubbed Mikey's shoulders as he walked by. All that was left of Justin's tray was juice and he knew neither one would have trouble finishing that off. He was secretly thankful to Mikey for the break. He loved his partner and wanted to be with him through all of this, but the small mental breaks were appreciated. He stayed in the cafeteria for about an hour, reading a discarded two day old paper, checking in with the office, and eating breakfast. When he finally did return to Justin's room, he could hear laughter from three doors down. It was real music to his ears. He hesitated outside the door to eavesdrop.

"Yea, the jackass almost caught his whole face on fire when he did it! As it was he only burned three of the fingers on his right hand, but you know as well as I do, he's right handed. He had so much trouble doing so many things. For three weeks his hand was bandaged and useless. I did a lot for him, he actually stayed over at my house, it was just easier. Of course, his ego wouldn't lessen for an accident of this sort, his biggest complaint was that jerking off with his left hand was not as smooth as his right!"

Both men laughed again, and Brian figured it was a good time to come back into the room.

"How did it go?" He asked as he walked in and casually stuck his tongue out at Mikey.

"Michael was able to piece together a lot of the images I've had floating around in my mind. He also did a great job lifting my spirits a bit. Thanks, Michael."

"No problem Justin, but I gotta get going." He looked at Brian, "Don't forget to call my mom."

Brian nodded and pulled Michael into a hug. Michael grabbed his jacket and leaned over to give Justin a hug and peck on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow night. Ben and I want to stop over after school. We'll bring Hunter."

"Great." Brian and Justin said at the same time.

Michael left and the two were alone for a brief moment before the were interrupted again. There was another knock on the door.

"I'm looking for a Justin Taylor. Is he here by chance?" said a voice from outside.

"Yea, I'm here. Come on in."

He walked in. Brian recognized him from the recovery meeting. He was built like Ben, but with a classic Greek face, and both Brian and Justin immediately perked up. "I'm Brad Cabo, I'm your physical therapist Mr. Taylor. I wanted to stop by for introductions and to let you know I wanted to do our first session here in your room later today. " As he talked he pulled the chair close to Justin's bed. When he introduced himself, he used both hands to scoop up Justin's partially paralyzed hand to shake.

Smooth Brian thought to himself. Very normal looking hand shake, with a guy who feels anything but normal right now. It worked like a charm on Justin, he immediately tried to put his shoulder into the motion of the shake, trying to participate. Brad seemed to take in the effort.

"I see you have some feeling in your arms and fingers, that's great. We'll start with that today. I'm not going to do anything with your lower body until after the pins come out and we get confirmation from Dr. Lebowitz that you are good to go with gross motor therapy. I'm going to stick to the upper body gross motor stuff for now. O.T. will be here tomorrow for introductions and to start work on the fine motor stuff. For now, I can already see you have some good upper body strength and you can control your upper arm and shoulder area pretty well. Brad did some more poking and prodding for the next 15 minutes before releasing Justin.

"Okay, these are all really great signs. When I come back this afternoon, I'm going to bring some props to help strengthen your upper arms and we'll work a bit on back strength. That will come in handy later when we are working on full body movement stuff. I can tell from your eyes you're getting tired, so I'm done for now. Like I said, I'll be back around 3 this afternoon to really get started. You have a lot to work with Justin, and I don't know who you've already seen on the team, but from my perspective I think the outlook of recovery looks great. See you later." Brad made a few quick notes on Justin's chart and left.

Brian had spent the entire time standing near the window watching the exam. He looked outside one more time before turning to Justin, "How about you get some sleep and I'll run out to stretch my legs and check in at the office? I'll be back by lunch time. What do you say?"

"Sounds fine to me, I'm zonked. Brian, before you go, could you stop at the nurses desk and tell them I'm starting to get some really painful jabs in my fingers and shoulders."

"Yea, maybe this is what they're all talking about when they say the pain will only increase? You okay with me leaving, maybe I should stay with you. "

"No, if this is the worst it gets, it's not too bad, but it is relentless right now, and I really want to get some rest."

"You got it Sunshine, I'll be back in a few hours. Here, let me put the nurses page button just under your finger, think you'll be able to squeeze that if you need help?"

"Yea, I can feel it there, thanks."

"Love ya, sleep well." Brian leaned over Justin again and gently kissed all the bruises on his face before settling for a heart stopper at his lips.

Justin's eyes were closed before Brian had picked up his keys.