By: The Midnight Line.
Title: Emerald Eyes, Crimson Tears
Summary: Intent Emerald Eyes looked down upon her. "Gods, is she beautiful." He remarked to himself. "If only I had left to be a knight…" He shook his head. "I'm a God! What more could I want!" "You could want love…" said and icy whisper next to him…
Pairing: K/N?
Rating: Pg-13
A/N: Alright, Alright, So maybe I lied. Well, this is trying to be a really long update for all you guys. Only Because I want you to love me. 3
Oh and If you don't like the fact that Damien is paired…please file a neat and orderly complaint. Giggle.
And one reviewer asked me if this was going to be a Kel/Ian fic, or a Kel/Damien fic. She begged it to be one of those, because, and I quote "kel/neal is wierd.!" No, it wasn't planned to be and I don't see it changing at the moment, so if you want Kel/OC, then I'm afraid this isn't the story you're after.
Oh.My.God. I can't believe it's been a year since I started this. Wow…
Anyway, if any of you lovely reviewers want to bug me to update at least once every two weeks, please help me remember and get inspiration. Hint: Green Day is love, but Avril Lavinge is muse. xD
So are tacos. But that's another story o-o.
Kthxbye.
I don't own Green Day, Avril Lavigne, Franz Ferdinand or any of Tamora Pierce's characters.
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Chapter 7: Beautiful Boys on a Beautiful Dance Floor!
(Damien's POV)
I stared up at the man in the clearing and frowned at him. "A copper for your thoughts?" I said with a grin, trying to cheer Neal up. He shook his head and remained emotionless, very unlike himself.
"What's wrong? Is it that Kel girl again?"
He gave a dry laugh.
"That Kel girl again? Isn't it always about Kel for me?"
I supposed so, but did not reply.
Neal sighed. "She's with this boy named Ian. What am I to do?"
I frowned at the boy, but I felt a great deal of pity for him. Love was such a meddlesome affair and he didn't deserve such a burden. Nor did he deserve the burden of being a God, either. Mortals tended to think that being an all-powerful God would make everything a thousand times easier. Certainly it had its perks – power, health, daily worship routines on your behalf… but anything you had as a mortal was gone.
"Doesn't something that aches so much..." I began, but cut myself off short. This was his choice, I supposed. Neal knew far more about love and mortal relationships than I did. I continued nonetheless. "You should really let her go. Loving a mortal… Is a complicated business and it will only result in you getting yourself hurt." I commented off-handedly.
Neal sighed. "If it were only that easy to just drop her and forget just like that." He snapped his fingers. "But I can't. It's as if I've been told by another power – above a God – to love her, want her… even need her forever." He spoke slowly as though he was just coming to terms with this information himself.
This snapped me out of my daze and I turned to him. "I know how you feel." I whispered my voice barely audible. "But you're going to just have to let her go, some time…" I looked up at Neal, trying to see if he had heard me or not.
Apparently he hadn't and I smiled slightly to myself. I repeated a bit more forcefully this time around. "You're going to have to let her go, eventually." Neal only nodded slowly.
"That seems to be something rather difficult for me to accept."
I nodded at Neal before slowly waltzing away from him. He walked the opposite direction from me, no doubt wanting to have a moment with his own feelings and thoughts. He really should let those things go now that he was immortal. Turning about, I watched him approach the clearing by the lake.
Kneeling down, he placed his hand in the water and stirred the crystalline liquid and watched as the colors swirled about wildly. His face soon twisted into an emotion that I was all too familiar with upon his face. That was before the trees covered what was happening to the young god.
Something happened to me a while back – I'm not sure what it did, but the feeling was bizarre... Maybe it happens to all gods from Tortall, some sort of 'initiation', perhaps? I don't know. The initiation that I speak of was an emotional trial – no doubt a way for the Great Gods to assure themselves that the new Gods are above mortals. I had fallen in love with a mortal, just as Neal had, and I had been forced to endure the cruel truth: I could never touch the woman I loved ever again.
Even as an all-mighty God, pain and heartbreak seem to exist. The greatest sorrow of my heart was watching the lady who I loved move on away from me, and eventually she forgot. Even as a God I had to watch people pass away before my eyes and I could do nothing to prevent their pain – or mine. With every death, tear and heartbreak my own heart ached horribly. I wanted to save everyone, I wanted to save myself. But even as a God I was prevented from doing so.
It had happened to me, and I was bloody frustrated. I didn't understand the "rules" back then, not nearly as much as I do now. I couldn't understand why I was not able to see my love, Gwen, or hold her…as I used to do before I became a god. Before everything else…
If I close my eyes, I can remember her:
I can remember her straight dark brown hair and how it felt like the finest of silk. If I concentrate I can remember the days we spent by the shore and how her hair shone brilliantly in the sun. Blue, black, purple – it seemed that all those colours had become one as she twirled about underneath the sun… I worshipped her like a Goddess. My own living, breathing Goddess. I suppose how things have turned out that there is some irony…
Oh Gods… memories come pouring back.
My arms encircling her slim frame… lips pressed against her full, pink rose petals of lips. Oh, how soft her lips were – my lips ache simply thinking of how delicate she felt when she was in my arms. The intense desire to kiss her… she was truly beautiful.
Along the shoreline her eyes matched the sea – bright blues and greens danced shamelessly in her laughing eyes, and when she told me about how she wanted to be with me forever I believed her… those eyes comforted me. I've tried to re-create the color of her eyes utilizing the lake that is here, but I've had no luck. It would seem that what is natural in the mortal world cannot be duplicated in the Realm of the Gods, even when the lake is as pure as Gwen's soul…
I used to think I would remember every thought and every moment I had spent with her – but now, with each passing instant my memories faded and disappeared in the Realms of the Gods. Who would remember Damien? Who would remember his kin, his love… his life? There was no Damien now. There was only a shadow of a mortal-turned-God.
I can still feel the hurt, the pain… the worry that Gwen must have experienced when I disappeared from her life forever. How many years has it been for her since I came to this lifeless land? I wanted to marry that woman, and now I doubt that she's even living. Perhaps she left for another man? If she did then I suppose she thought that I had run from her – to escape from the pressure of a serious relationship?
I pray that she knows me better than that.
For months, maybe years – it could have been an eternity for all I know – I tried to contact her in some way possible. How my heart ached… how I bled. I never reached her. Did she feel me? Can she feel me now? I don't know any more. It's hard to retain your faith in humanity when you are their faith, but you feel nothing more than pain. Mortals living off my pain. Gwen, did she feel my pain? No… if she did I am sure I would have felt her tears.
When I became a full-fledged God was the day that I accepted that I had to let her go. Of course, since I was a God I could peer into the mortal realms to watch every person on that planet continue on with a hope that there was something great about to happen to them. Very few knew true sorrow… the pain of being alone.
When I finally summoned the courage to look upon Gwen, my heart shattered once more. She was betrothed. All the happy paintings I had created of me returning to her, and her being at peace by my side once more faded in that instant. I felt immense anger.
Years passed, and I like to think even though she's now married that she doesn't care for the man. Truth is, I still don't know. In a cruel twist of fate, that uncertainty keeps me happy. I hate uncertainty because no matter what happens, someone will get hurt. I want it to stay in this state of uncertainty, but I know it can't. At least I can taste a shred of the happiness I once had as I watch her with another man.
I should be happy that she's happy. But I just don't know…She doesn't look happy. Her eyes don't dance like they used to. In an agonizing effort to keep myself going each day, I pray that some day I might be able to hold her once more. Save her from the Black God… bring her home. Perhaps we might be the forbidden lovers… or perhaps we could carry on like Sarra and… no, no… some things don't always work out in such a majestic way.
At least not for me.
At last a thought comes to me: the spring equinox. Grinning, I trotted off for Neal after banishing my darker thoughts.
I could see Gwen again.
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(Neal's Pov)
As Damien left, I dragged my fingers around the lake's water in lazy circles and let my mind wander. Many thoughts surfaced from the depths of my mind, many were focused on Dom, Kel and the swine, Ian.
What had Dom done without me? Probably not a lot, I mused with a sad grin.
Soon enough my thoughts were all on Kel and Ian. I didn't care for Ian at all. Feeling an intense need to see what Kel was doing, I withdrew my hand from the pool of water and gazed intensely into its depths as a picture began to form…
And then I froze. I couldn't do this, it wasn't right. I was…It would only make me angrier. I was sure that if I saw anything with the two together that it would only make my intense desire to kill the boy even fierier.
Dom. I would check on Dom, instead. Staring into the water once more, I tried to conjure up an image of Domitan of Masbolle, and it took a few moments before it worked.
Dom grinned at Kel, hanging off Ian's arm. "You look fantastic Milady." He complimented her with a wide grin, holding a drink glass in one hand. Ian smiled at the soldier, "Back off, girl's mine." He said playfully, bringing Kel closer and wrapping her in a hug. The Lady Knight was wearing an emerald green dress-
-Accents her eyes. I noted, scowling slightly. Damnable boy.
-The dress itself was intricate; a few golden-colored leaves were embroidered trailing down one side of the dress; the neckline not too low and not too high.-
-A bit lower than Kel's taste, from what I could tell, but I bet Ian tricked her into doing it. Accursed boy.
-As Ian gazed into Kel's eyes from the tight hug, and then…he lowered his face down to hers-
I stopped instantly. No way in the nine hells was I going to witness Kel and Ian kiss. It must have been the Midwinter ball that they were at. I remember those dances. Those were so much fun…when I could go, at least. Most times I was "sucking face with a book" as they so tormented me about reading.
But it didn't really matter what they thought, did it? Of course it didn't. Besides, it didn't mean anything now. I ran my hand through my hair with another sigh. What should I do about Kel and Ian? There was not much that I could do, besides sit back and watch…Damien wasn't of any help to me; he didn't know anything about this kind of stuff.
After all, he was born a god.
A/N: Done…Five Pages. 3 Sorry if it's still short. D;
I apologize for lack of Elvish title, but I lost my book. T-T
Guess you'll just have to make do with English.
Song lyric part of Franz Ferdinand's song 'Michael.' xD
Credit Goes where Credit Is Due, I suppose. Thanks so much to Naomi, for beta-ing this and making it so much better than it was before. Hearts for you. Next chap will be up as soon as I can get it out, so…Later. ;D