Summary: The gang goes to England. Angst and silliness ensue. (What'd ya expect? It's still the Buffyverse...)
Crossover: Highlander, Stargate SG-1
Notes: If you haven't read part I of this story or my first story 'What are we gonna do now, it'd probably be helpful if you did. As I know next to nothing about London, Devon, Rome or their general environs, I'll pretty much be making it up as I go. And if I get any of it right, then yay me! Feedback, please, it's a wonderful thing! All Hail the Goddess Willow.
Disclaimer: Yea verily, all doth belongeth to those that didst create Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Highlander, Stargate SG-1 and any other works of fiction that mayest be mentioned herein. Not to us poor souls that are, well, poor. They didst create, and then they didst take it away. Grrrrrrrr...
DID SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING ABOUT NOT FADING AWAY? PART II
By screaminheathen69
Chapter the First
When the plane landed at Heathrow, it was after dark, so Angel and Spike didn't have to worry about getting singed. Spike was still trying to get the smell out of his duster from when he and Angel had raced to the van when they left the Hyperion. Spike had won the race. Giles had cleaned up. Angel was still grumbling. Not quite brooding, but grumbling.
They were staying in London for the night, figuring to head on to Devon in the morning. Spike, predictably, wanted to hit a few nightspots before turning in. "Aw, c'mon luv, it's not but nine thirty, the night's not even begun yet!"
Dawn nodded vigorously. "Right! Dancing, very much the necessity."
Kennedy and Willow wanted to join them, and a few others in the group seemed interested too.
Buffy and Angel shared a tired look. Buffy sighed. "Okay, fine, go make with the dancy goodness. But remember what happened the last time this group went out clubbing? Please to not be making with the repeat performance."
Spike threw his arms across Willow and Dawn's shoulders. "Relax, pet, what's the worst that c'n happen when we've got the Red Witch and Super Bit with us?"
Dawn poked him in the ribs. "That's 'Key-Girl' to you."
"Oi. Sorry 'bout that, Nibblet. Out o' th' loop for a bit, 'aven't got all the new nicknames down yet."
Dawn sniffed regally. "I shall forgive you. Just this once."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Okay, so we go get checked in, and then you kiddies can go boogie oogie oogie 'til ya just can't boogie no more."
She turned to go and caught Angel humming the tune she'd just mentioned quietly to himself. "Oh, God, don't tell me you're a disco fan too!"
He shot her an arch look. "Everybody's always bad mouthing the Seventies. There was a lot of great stuff that came out of the Seventies."
She snorted. "Like what, sans-a-belt slacks?"
"Oooo, and leisure suits!" chimed in Willow.
"Guys getting permanents," said Faith, with just a touch of a shudder.
"Polyester everything," said Xander.
"Pet Rocks," said Nina.
"Pop rocks," said Gunn.
"Oh, and let's not forget those huge collars," said Vi.
"And, God help us, Barry Manilow," said Andrew.
Angel picked up his and Nina's bags and headed for the waiting courtesy bus, broody face in place. "Here's my ass. You all know what to do."
Amidst all the chuckles, Illyria stood there looking confused. In typical Hell God fashion, she didn't much care for the being confused. It confused her.
"Exactly what is it that we are supposed to do?"
Spike, being Spike, told her. She quirked an eyebrow, then purposefully strode off after Angel. Buffy watched her go. "You don't think she'd actually-"
From outside, Angel could be heard yelling. Spike was beside himself. "Yup."
"Illyria, what the Hell are you doing? Wait! Hold it! My pants!"
Buffy sprinted toward the door. "Oh, I have got to see this!"
Dawn took off after her, followed closely by Nina. "Wait, Buffy, I've got my camera!"
Connor looked at Willow, shrugged, and ran after Dawn. Like he'd miss this.
Willow walked over to where Spike had collapsed to the floor. "You just had to do it, didn't you?"
"Moral imperative, Red," Spike gasped out between spasms of laughter. "Some things simply must be done."
From outside, Buffy and Nina could be heard trying to coax Illyria into giving Angel his pants back. There were several flashes as Dawn snapped off picture after picture. The rest of the group had gathered by the window to get a gander at the show outside. Giles, who had been on the phone through all of this, walked out the door completely oblivious to what was going on.
"What's going on out here? Oh, I say..."
Spike finally managed to pull himself back to his feet. He rubbed his hands together. "Well, time to go then. Night's still young!"
Chapter the second
Spike was standing by the door, bouncing on his toes, a look of barely restrained impatience on his face. "Oh, c'mon you lot! If we don't get a move on, the band'll be done 'fore we get there!" He had discovered that a Ramones tribute band was playing nearby, so of course, that's where he wanted to go. And that that was where they should all go, to , as he put it, 'Get educated about real music'.
Dawn, sitting in the chair next to the door, rolled her eyes. "Chill, Spike. You know us female types, hafta make with the beautification."
"Yeah, I know. But this is ridiculous. And you're ready, why ain't they?"
"I'm just good," she smirked.
"I'll bet," Spike muttered under his breath.
"Sorry? What was that?"
"Never mind..."
Dawn's smirk got smirkier. It was always fun messing with Spike. "Besides, I think it's actually Angel that's holding things up."
"What, did Captain Forehead run out o' gel? Had ta run down t' the apothecary t' get some product did 'e?"
"Dunno. Besides, if he did run out, all he'd hafta do is stick his finger in a light socket and have somebody hit him with some hairspray."
Spike chuckled at that thought. "Interestin' idea, that. Might have to try it sometime."
"Try what?" Buffy asked as she entered the room.
"Err, nothin'. Just chattin'."
Buffy quirked an eyebrow at the giggling duo. "Uh huh."
Nina came through the door, then stopped and looked back over her shoulder. "You look fine. Come on."
"No. I look ridiculous," came Angel's plaintive voice.
"No, you don't. Now come on."
"Alright, alright." Angel stepped slowly into the room. He was wearing tan Dockers and a pink shirt. He looked distinctly uncomfortable.
Spike lost it. "Oi! I've been right all these years! You great bloody p-"
"SPIKE!" Angels eyes were yellowing. "Don't! Start! With! Me!"
"But-"
"Don't!"
"But-"
Angel growled. Spike subsided into giggles, trying to look anywhere but at his Grand-Sire. Dawn wasn't laughing, but it was obvious she was fighting it. Angel turned to Buffy, only to see she was stifling laughter as well. He turned back to Nina. "I'm sorry, but this just isn't gonna work." He nearly sprinted back into his room to change.
Nina shrugged. "Oh well, it was worth a try."
Buffy bit back a laugh, shaking her head. "Nice try, but Angel, pretty much with the gray and black. Occasionally red. But pink? Not so much."
Nina snickered. "I know. But I just had to see if I could get a rise out of him. Probably just made him broodier though."
Spike dug around in his coat pocket, then handed Nina an envelope. "If y' wanna get a rise outta 'im, just pass these around later."
Nina opened the envelope and pulled out one of the pictures it held. She started laughing. "Oh, geez, you wanna start a riot?"
Spike just nodded, smirk firmly in place. Buffy and Dawn walked over. "What is it?" Buffy asked.
Dawn looked over Nina's shoulder. "What's with the Muppet that looks like Angel?"
Chapter the Third
The night out went off without a hitch. More or less. If you count three fights, five black eyes, and a broken finger as without a hitch, that is.
Two of the fights were between Angel and Spike. The third turned into a full blown bar brawl when Spike overheard a guy bad mouthing the Ramones. The night took a slight downturn after that.
Spike and Faith enjoyed themselves immensely.
When everyone got back to the hotel, Giles was sitting in the lobby talking with Olivia. He burst out laughing at the sight of the motley looking group as they dragged through the doors. "Good Lord, did you lot leave anyone alive?"
Buffy shot Spike a dirty look. "Yes. Although there's a certain undead individual that'd better watch his back for a while."
Spike affected an innocent expression. "Hey, luv, was just defendin' th' honor of th' greatest band there ever was!"
Xander smacked Spike upside the head as he walked past. "Fine. Just defend it without dragging the rest of us into it the next time, okay Dead-Boy-Jr.?"
"Don't be callin' me 'Dead-Boy', ya daft git. 'E's Dead-Boy." He jerked a thumb in Angel's direction.
"Great. The Peroxide Wonder is cranky 'cause I called him Dead-Boy. I'm all a twitter with fear and worry." Xander emphasised his point by yawning loudly and stumbling off to his room before the blossoming shiner blocked his vision completely.
Spike started to retort. Buffy shot him a look and wagged a warning finger at him. "Oh fine then. I'm goin' to bed." He grumped off to his room. Angel started to mouth off, but Buffy just pointed at him, too. He grumbled off to bed, Nina smirking behind him.
Buffy looked at Giles. "Kids. Can't take 'em anywhere."
He laughed. "Welcome to my world. Good night. all." He and Olivia headed off to his room.
Buffy followed after, grumbling. Connor stood there for a minute, laughing quietly. "Is it always like this?"
Dawn, sitting half asleep on the steps nearby, stirred. "Like what?"
"This. They're like a bunch of kids. Especially Dad and Spike. It's..."
"What?"
"Hilarious."
Dawn grinned a little. "Yeah, I know. Although I've never been able to decide what's funnier; Spike arguing with Angel, Spike arguing with Xander, or Xander arguing with Angel. If the three of them ever got going at once, I figure the world'll probably explode or sumthin'."
Connor thought about that for a moment, then chuckled. "We could probably sell tickets. We'd clean up."
"Always of the good is the money." Dawn held out her hand. "Give a tired gal a hand up, would ya?"
Connor took her hand and pulled her to her feet. "I thought you could, like, fly and stuff."
"Yup. But not tonight. Key-Girl the Exhausted, that's me."
"Kewl. That means I can be all gallant and escort you to your room." He offered his arm, which she took.
"If you're making a pass, I'm too tired to respond, ya know." She gave a mighty yawn.
"'Salright. I'll consider this a practice run."
"Okey-dokey."
"Hey, um, Dawn?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't know if we'll have to, like, waltz or anything at the reception do you?"
Dawn stopped in her tracks, nearly toppling them both. "Waltz? What waltz? Did somebody say something about waltzing?" The expression on her face was somewhere between worried and horrified.
"Um, Spike did. But most of the time I can't tell if he's kidding or not."
Dawn scrunched up her face. "I'll find out." She gave an even mightier yawn. "But maybe I'll do it in the morning." They finished the walk to dawn's room with her grumbling. "Waltz. Better not be serious. Not gonna do some stupid fruity waltz..."
Chapter the Fourth
Four days later, Buffy, Xander and Willow met at Giles' house. Xander was showing them what he had gotten Faith and Robin for a wedding present. Buffy and Willow exchanged looks.
Willow quirked an eyebrow. "Gee, Xan, where'd ya find that at? Cheap Crap dot Com?" She ignored Buffy's snort.
"Ha. Ha. Funny. And no, didn't find anything there worth getting. Don'tcha think she'll like it?"
Willow shrugged. "Anything is possible. I mean, c'mon; Faith's getting married. Next thing ya know, there'll be leprechauns showing up."
Giles spoke up from where he'd been listening. "Oh, dear Lord, I hope not. Vile, loathesome little creatures. Nothing but trouble, the lot of them."
Buffy stared at Giles, trying to decide if he was joking or not. Judging by the look of revulsion on his face, he wasn't. "Oooookay, that's a story for another day. What'd ya wanna see us about, O Wise Watcher Man?"
"Well, I've had a call from Joe Dawson, asking if we'd mind getting back to that little job he'd asked us to do now that we're done saving the world. Again."
Buffy pouted. "Oh, man, I was hoping I was done with that gropy little Immortal."
"Oh, come on Buff, was it really that bad?" asked Willow.
"Yes! I swear, that guy has more hands than an octopus! And if you remind me that octopusses don't have hands, I swear I won't be held accountable for my actions."
"Octopi," said Giles.
"Grrrrr," said Buffy.
"You're the one that wanted me to continue teaching you, my dear. Just trying to do my job."
"Oh, never mind. How much more does Joe need?" Buffy crossed her arms and continued pouting.
"He has most of what they were looking for, but they still need more information about the timing." Giles poured himself a scotch and shooed Xander out of his favorite chair.
"I guess I can head back to Rome for a few days." She turned to Willow. "So when's the bachelorette party?"
"Not for another coupla weeks, anyway. Still trying to get it all planned out," Willow said.
"How hard is it to plan?" asked Xander. "Booze, snacks, music, the traditional stripper, party hearty. There, it's all planned out."
"You'd think so, wouldn't ya? It just seems to have taken on a life of its own. I think several laws may get shattered..."
Giles raised an eyebrow, bur refrained from commenting. "So, Buffy, when can you be ready to go?"
"In the morning, I guess. I'll go make with the packing fun when we leave here."
"Good. Joe said that Duncan, Kate and another Watcher are already in Rome. I'll give you their number."
"'Slayer Watcher' or 'Immortal Watcher'?"
"Immortal. Apparently she's the one that figured out that your friend-"
"So not my friend," Buffy interrupted.
"-was up to something," Giles finished, ignoring the interruption. "Rather sharp young woman, as I understand it. Kaithlynn Lockley."
Buffy nodded, getting up. "Well, at least it'll be nice to see Duncan and Kate again. C'mon, Wills, you can help me pack. And help deal with Dawn..."
Willow rolled her eyes. "Oh, happy happy, joy joy..."
Chapter the Fifth
Buffy was trying to stare down her sister. It wasn't working. There are definitely times that having an all powerful little sister bites the almighty big one.
"C'mon, Dawnie, I hafta get to the airport, my flight leaves in three hours and security's a bitch these days."
"Don't you mean our flight?" She crossed her arms and tried to frown menacingly.
"No, I mean my flight. I'm not going back to party hardy, Dawn, I'm going back to finish a job and get back here as quick as I can."
"And what happens if you get into trouble? Huh?"
Buffy quirked an eyebrow. "Gee, I dunno. Never been in trouble before, oh, whatever shall I do?"
Dawn's frown got deeper. "You know what I mean. Dumbass. You need backup. Who better than Key-Girl?"
"How about somebody whose power won't set off every mystical alarm that he has set up around him?"
Dawn's frown lessened at that thought. "Oh. Yeah. Right. Forgot about that."
Buffy sighed and drew her sister into a hug. "I know you can handle yourself, Dawnie. But this has to be an inside job. I hafta go back and be Not-So-Low-Profile-Girl-Friend again."
"Fine. But call if you need help. Willow can set up the Wiccan Mind Meld in about two seconds."
"I know. And I will." Buffy glanced at her watch. "OH, geez, I have got to get a serious move on."
She started through the door, only to fetch up against Angel who was just raising his hand to knock. "Oh. Hi Angel. Bye Angel." She tried to push past him.
"Whoa, where ya goin', Buffy?"
"Yeah, all packed up for a long stay somewhere looks like." Spike was standing in the hall with Faith, Nina and Illyria.
"Just have some business to take care of. Back in a few days. Bye."
Dawn leaned on the doorframe. "She's heading back to Rome." Buffy stared daggers at Dawn, who just gave her an evil grin.
"Rome? What business 'ave ya got in Rome then, Slayer?" Spike was pretty sure he knew. So was Angel, but he was trying not to let his jealousy show in front of Nina.
Buffy sighed and set her suitcases down. I am sooo gonna miss my flight. "If you're asking if my business involves Antonio Cerephus, then yes, it does."
Angel and Spike stood there looking confused. "Who?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I think you call him 'The Immortal'. We know several Immortals, so it helps to actually call them by name."
Spike chuckled. "Antonio Cerephus? That's his bloody name? No wonder he's always insisted everybody call him The Immortal!"
Angel was glowering. "Right. We shoulda killed him a century ago when we had the chance."
Buffy looked at the two vampires thoughtfully. "You two got a grudge against this guy?"
"Yup," said Angel.
"And then some, pet," said Spike.
"Excellent. Go pack, you're coming with me." She couldn't help but laugh at the confusion on their faces. "I'll explain on the way. Hurry up, or we'll miss the plane."
To be continued...
The crossover with Stargate SG-1 begins in the next part. Seems things aren't quite what they seemed...
Later! ;-)
To thee no star be dark...