Life is just fine and then a hiccup
Chapter 13A
Brian and Justin had a whole lot of regrets about how they carried out their first intimacies since Justin's accident. Every step in this process was a learning opportunity for both, and from this last one they both learned quite a bit.
Justin learned to not hide his pain from anyone. Yes, it was his burden and he did not want to inconvenience anyone, but he could not allow what happened in the past to happen again. Brian was beginning to see the warning signs of his seizures, and Justin needed to respect that his partner was helping, not nagging, when he pointed them out.
Brian learned that Justin was far from having his individual, independent life back. During this past seizure, it took Brian and Amy to keep Justin is a good place while he rode it out. While Justin prided himself on internalizing everything so he was not a bigger bother, Brian knew he could not do this anymore. So he had to ask Justin more often about his pain, without infuriating his partner. It was a difficult task.
Some people believed that drugging the afflicted was the best way to live through these seizures. It they were unconscious they would sleep through all the pain. After countless hours on the internet and talking with Will, both men agreed this was not the option for Justin. The drugs needed to do this had severe side effects. Some affected cognitive function long after the patient woke up. Some were known to negatively affect internal organs. Both knew that with Justin's system, they did not want to risk any of these or an allergic reaction. So they looked for alternative ways to relieve pain. Acupuncture, meditation, and lower risk drugs were all options they wanted to try. Brian had also read about a primitive method still used in many eastern hospitals today. It was very much like swaddling, and was called comfort binding. It was a simple procedure, a blanket is wrapped around the victim tightly. Then they are held in a secure embrace until the pain passes.
Brian had used this method to combat Justin's last pain seizure. It worked well. It was an intensive, relentless practice. Both men were exhausted when it was over. Justin stayed relatively drug free during the episode, taking nothing stronger than typical migraine medication. Amy talked with them throughout their trials. She offered them both drinks, and coached Brian on how to multi-task. It was difficult to do anything other than hold on to Justin when the pain was at its worst. Justin wanted to thrash and throw his hands, but he could not. Brian held them in place under the light cotton blanket Justin had wrapped around most of his torso. Brian sat behind him, cradling him. On one or two occasions, Justin's torment made itself known when he threw his head back, hitting Brian's shoulder or his head. Mostly Brian just held on, and tried to distract Justin with TV or conversation. It lasted three hours. Significantly less time than the last. They both came out of it optimistic that this new method was one to add to their bag of tricks. A method that drastically decreased Justin's dependence on pain medication. There were still several other methods they wanted to try in the future, but neither one of them really felt like talking about it.
Days progressed, and everyone settled into the grind of recovery. Justin was improving everyday. Ken assured him that after Thanksgiving they would tackle forward locomotion, Justin was ready for it. Brian was spending more time away during the day, he did not sit in on every therapy session anymore. He was beginning to slide back into his work life. Justin was unaware that Brian was using his time away to make needed changes to their world. He had several small construction projects under works at the West Virginia house and the loft. While no real handicapped alterations were needed, some modifications would help improve quality of life.
All of this came about after Brian had a private session with Judy Goldberg. She had once again called together several of the people involved in Justin's care. By now, the group knew each other well: Will his doctor, Ken and Brad his therapists, and Dr. Cox the psychologist. They talked candidly about Justin's long term abilities and options for improvement after leaving the unit. The doctor and therapists both felt that Justin would probably always have a slight limp on the left side. His days of running marathons were probably over. And while not necessary, things like an elevator, a sauna, a hot tub, a gym or gym membership would all be beneficial. Justin would feel the weather more, and climbing the three flights of stairs at the house in the cold of winter could prove difficult. A sauna and hot tub could also aid aching joints as well as help with minor pain management. Using weight training equipment daily would also make moving less painful and keep him fit.
So, all these changes were being made to the house in West Virginia. The elevator was already installed. Two upstairs bedrooms with a bath had been converted to a gym with equipment arriving within the week. While the house already had a large indoor pool, the pool house now had a hot tub and sauna wing enclosed in glass. There was only one change to make at the loft, the bedroom was lowered to be level with the flooring in the rest of the loft. Nothing to trip on if joints are stiff in the morning. That too, was under way. Brian wanted all the modifications done before Justin came home. The group at the meeting felt it was well within expectations to see Justin discharged before Christmas.
Dr. Cox emphasized that just because Justin comes home, he may not be ready for everything at once. He would be overwhelmed. The holidays would only exacerbate the pressure and tension he would feel to make everything 'normal' again. He reminded Brian to be attentive to changes, however small, in physical and mental behavior so Justin would not stop his great strides in recovery. It was difficult to find the balance between supporting the patient and smothering them. Too much attention could lead to dependence or aggravation, too little attention could lead to depression or physical harm.
Brian's main concern at the meeting was continuity of care. It made sense to spend their time at the country house where Justin's primary studio was. Justin was eager to work again, even if the work would be done differently, he wanted to get started. He had already begun drawing again here at the unit. Nothing more than basic stick sketches, but it was a start. Brian did not like the idea of the forty five minute commute to come to the city for continued physical therapy. He had verbalized this concern to Ken on one of their morning runs. Ken had listened, and said he may have some leads on good PT's willing to make a commute like that. He would look into it and get back to Brian. So at this meeting when Brian brought up the point again, Ken waved at him immediately.
"Hey, I found someone I think you're really going to like. The circumstances are perfect for your situation. I had asked them to join us today so you could chat with them in person. I expect them any minute."
Will took the remaining time to summarize his concerns and goals that would be the group's main focus in the upcoming weeks. Dr. Cox reminded Brian to keep him posted, and he would check in on Justin's progress at the weekly staff meeting. The three men and Ms. Goldberg gathered their things to leave.
Just then Amy, Justin's other primary therapist at the unit, came into the room. Brian was collecting his notes and looked up, "What is it, has something happened to Justin?"
Amy smiled and shook her head back and forth. She sat down next to Brian and then said goodbye to the departing members of the meeting. Turning to Brian she said, "No, nothing's wrong. He was sketching when I left. I'm here for another reason. Brian, I would like to apply for the job of "Justin's personal therapist." She smiled and giggled a little bit at Ken's smile and Brian's look of surprise.
"I don't understand, could one of you fill me in?"
Amy spoke first, "Well, Ken told me about your needs. You are looking for someone to be available to go to your house in West Virginia to continue work with Justin. I live just this side of the Pennsylvania and West Virginia border. I also have some life changes coming up that will make it impossible to continue working here. Your need, while long term, is very flexible. Would you consider it?"
"Shhhya, um yes. But I'm still a little confused. Why would you leave such a great place? I thought you really liked it here."
"I do, and it will be hard to go, but you see" Amy paused and continued with a wide smile, "I want to go back to school. I want to get my doctorate in sports medicine. There's a great program at IUP. I can do most of it online, only traveling to the school sporadically. But I need to stop this full time, intense job to concentrate on my studies. Your home is just ten minutes from mine, I know you will be flexible with scheduling, and I know you and would be willing to continue to work with Justin. So what do you think?"
"I think - yes, this is just the kind of answer to my problem I was hoping for. Justin can have the continued exemplary care he receives here at home. We don't have to break someone else in, there won't be any misunderstandings about Justin's moods or episodes, and if you can put up with us...yes, the answer is yes. Now you need to tell me what kind of a salary you want."
"Well, I could never expect to receive the same salary as here, but I know several 'free lance' therapists who charge anywhere between $275 to $500 dollars per hour for service. I figure $300 a session is sufficient. We'll start with 5 sessions a week and cut them off as Justin's need for me decreases. I won't hold the sessions to a specific time period. There's more room for flexibility that way. Sound good?"
Brian held his hand out to shake Amy's, "Sounds great! You want to tell Justin, or do you want me to?" Brian looked over at Ken who was sitting at the table, arms crossed, smile on his face. "And you? You were holding out on me, I thought you were pulling resources from somewhere else."
"Brian, you tell Justin. You have a lot to fill him in on. He'll want to hear about his discharge from you, not us. But you can temper his enthusiasm with this: I do water sports too!" Ken blurted out a laugh at Amy's comment and all three packed up to leave.