Chapter 14
The week after Thanksgiving brought snow. The dry, dead landscape of fall seemed renewed and bright covered with winter's first snow. It arrived over night and continued through the following day. When the snow finally came to an end, there was over a foot on the ground. Things moved at a snail's pace, people were late getting to their destinations, time was lost shoveling sidewalks and driveways, salt trucks and plows became a welcome sight on the road.
Inside the unit, life went on in the usual warm comfort of Justin's normalcy. At least it did until Amy arrived for the morning session. She and Ken had prepared Justin that today would be the day he started walking outside of the pool. He was strong enough now to tackle it at the hospital therapy room. Justin had figured the session might be postponed due to the snow, but Amy arrived promptly at nine to take him out. She came in her coat, boots, gloves, and hat. Her cheeks were rosy from being outside.
"I didn't think you were going to make it today, it's really deep out there."
"Oh, I wouldn't miss this day for all the world mister Taylor. Now with Brian's help, I want to get you bundled up for the walk to the hospital. Our nice custodian has been kind enough to plow and salt all the sidewalks between here and there. The view is gorgeous, I just came from there. I can assure you, Brian, before you say a word, that the walk is safe. That's why I took it myself this morning."
Brian did not have to say a word, he just lowered his head and laughed. "I really think you know us too well, Amy." Then turning to Justin he added, "Let's get our coats on and get moving."
Justin wheeled over to the closet and grabbed both coats. He tossed Brian his and put on his own. He wrapped the scarf around his neck, put his hat on, and began the tedious job of putting on his gloves. Some days this task was too difficult to handle on his own, but not today. Today they both went on without a hitch. It was as if his body knew it was not allowed to rebel today, there was too much at stake.
Brian watched as Justin got himself ready. It was going to be a good day. No noticeable pain, no twitches or shakes, and Justin was in a great mood.
"What are you staring at dork? Get your gloves on, I'm ready to go, and you're
standing there gawking at me with your mouth hanging open." Justin smiled the whole time he chastised Brian. Brian responded by throwing his hat at him.
The three of them burst out into the crisp white morning chatting about all their plans for the upcoming holiday season. Amy's parents would arrive in a week to stay though February. They lived in England and typically spent a long holiday with her every year. Unlike some of the dysfunction that plagued Brian's, and to a lesser extent Justin's, family Amy's seemed to get along pretty well. Justin rode along in silence as he listened to Brian proudly tell Amy about Gus, and how his family would be staying with them for an extended visit as well. Brian expected them to arrive on Boxing Day, December 26th, and stay through the second week of January. They would spend the entire time at the house and Brian was practically bursting with anticipation over the coveted time he would have with his son. Amy noticed Justin's look of trepidation when Brian spoke so she made a mental note to ask him later what his concerns were.
When they arrived in the therapy room, the first thing Justin noticed was how empty it was. The room was typically buzzing with activity, people in all various states of therapy and exercise. Today there was no one. "What happened? It's like a ghost town in here."
"Well, you know as well as I do, that a lot of the people we see are older, and no one over fifty five comes out in weather like this. A lot of other people have kids at home today, so they can't come either. It seems we can indulge and have the entire room to ourselves. Pity, no one will get to see your moments of emancipation from that chair."
"Let's get started." Brian said matter-of-factly as he took off his coat, and helped Justin with his.
"Yea let's. Brian and Justin join me over here at the parallel bars." Amy continued with instructions for both. This was relatively familiar territory, Justin had been walking in the pool for weeks now. She just ironed out some unfamiliar points with both men before they were ready to begin. "Okay, Justin, no marathons today, just up and walking. Take is slow. You have a lot of hardware inside, that while healing well, still needs some getting used to. We'll go as long as you're comfortable. Later on, you can do some strength training. Okay?"
Justin nodded his head, "Yea, let's go."
"Brian, stay on his left, I've got the right here. Okay Justin, whenever you're ready."
Justin stood up with one smooth movement. He moved from the wheelchair to the parallel bars with ease. With a deep breath he moved his right leg forward. Brian and May stayed at his side as he progressed. When he reached the end of the rails, he looked at Amy, "Can I go forward without the rails? This is really easy. I think the pool helped more than I care to admit."
"Yes, if you're still feeling strong, go ahead Justin. Brian, stay right by his side as he goes. Justin, take this cane just in case you need something extra. Don't be a hero, just go a few feet. We don't need any falls outside of the water, okay?"
Brian smiled and stayed quiet. He had caught Justin in the bathroom more than once over the past week. He had taken steps from the sink to the shower stall unaided. As if practicing in private for today. When he first saw him, he was tempted to bark out to him to be careful. Instead, he casually watched from the bed with his eyes partially closed. These mini private sessions happened in the dead of night. Justin had a hard time getting a good eight hours of solid sleep. He tended to catch drips and drabs of sleep throughout the day, and at night he never slept more than four hours without waking. The sleep patterns did not seem to slow him down, and Brian filed his concern away in the 'not worth bringing up just yet' file. Justin was unaware of Brian's knowledge in all of this, so when he saw his quiet smile, he was a bit disappointed.
"I'm walking here, with very little aid from you, without a chair under my ass, by my own forward locomotion. Is that all I get, a little smile?" Justin stopped and leaned on the cane. Amy offered support under his elbow.
"Do you need to sit down?"
"No, I need to have my partner answer me. I was hoping for a bit more enthusiasm."
Brian laughed, "Once a dram queen, always a drama queen. You sleep with me dickhead, do you really think I didn't notice your little night time jaunts in the bathroom? You are doing great Justin, so great it's scary. Don't queen out over my reaction. This is great."
Justin noticed it first, then Amy. He smiled and had to say it out loud, "Is that a tear? Brian Kinney doesn't do tears. Are they tears of joy? Joy for me? Awww, I'm all broken up now. Watch, I'm so broken up, I'm gonna have to turn around and walk back to the wheelchair to sit down, I'm so broken up!" The grin never left his face as he successfully turned and walked the entire way back to his chair, with only the use of the cane.
"You are such a twat! I swear to god, you're a twat!" Brian could only chastize him lightly, since he was overwhelmingly impressed by his partner's effort.
"Yea, you are such an old married couple, you sound just like my mom and dad." Amy commented when Justin was safely back in the wheelchair. "Justin, how do you feel now?" With his positive nod she continued, "Okay, big changes here today. Everyone on the team felt that this was something of a test. You've been doing the walking for so long in the pool we knew you had the strength. We wanted to see for ourselves how you did with the lack of the water's support. You did a stellar job. You can start walking with the use of the cane whenever you feel you can. That doesn't mean you have to stop using the chair, if you need it, use it, but on the whole it's walking from now on. This is one more step out the door Jusitn, one more step to home. Way to go."
Justin clapped and howled with happiness, he was ready to start moving around a bit more freely. His knees felt really good, not as good as before the accident, but better every day. He reached behind him to grab Brian's shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. Brian reached around Justin and returned the sentiment with a warm embrace.
"Brian, if you could come out here to the supply closet, I'll find the keys and get Justin a cane to take with him. Justin you can start bundling up to head back to the unit." Amy indicated the hall she wanted Brian to go down and followed him out the door, leaving Justin the job of buttons and gloves.
Once they were out of earshot, Amy turned to Brian with an extremely stern look on her face, "How long has he been getting up and not sleeping straight though the night?"
Brian was taken aback by her surprise attack, "Uh, about three weeks, well no, since he woke up here. He hasn't been sleeping soundly though the night. I just figured it was part of the whole process. He naps a lot during the day when he can, and it doesn't seem to be affecting his mood or recovery. Why, what's wrong?"
"Shit Brian, that's just a big warning sign for something we would like to have been aware of before now. Brian, it's hard to compartmentalize all of Justin's issues into one affliction. Many of the symptoms he has are directly related to his accident: restless hands, achy joints, burning and pain in his hands, the head aches, fatigue, even the restless sleep. Many of them should be starting to go away after such an extended time period. The sleeplessness is a key factor. That plus the fact that a lot of the other issues are not diminishing, could mean the accident triggered the onset of another issue."
"Oh Christ, no, what the fuck else can go wrong? No, no more, he's had enough. What the hell is this now?" Brian was low, his shoulders were slumped, he felt beat. How could more happen to his partner? Things were going so much better now, how could Amy suggest there is more to consider? "Keep going, what is it?"
"Brian, Fibromyalgia syndrome has all of the telltale characteristics that Justin is showing right now. This underlying physiological abnormality might have stayed dormant in him unless triggered by something. That trigger may very likely have been his accident and the severity of the damage he sustained. I have to get in tough with the team. I'm going to try to pull as many of them together today or tomorrow. We'll look over all his charts, our notes, everything. We'll probably have a specialist brought in to evaluate Justin's pain level, at the very least. Pain specialists have the most experience with Fibromyalgia syndrome. From there, we'll reevaluate Justin's recovery plan for the future."
Brian looked as if he might physically get sick.
"Okay, get rid of that." Amy pointed to Brian's expression. "Here's the cane to take with you. Do all the thinking in that big head that you want, but for now, don't burden him. Not today. He did so well. Let us share the job of telling him oat our group meeting on Thursday. Seriously, I know you pretty well now, and I know you can hide stuff well. Hide this for now."
Brian's look completely changed, he lifted his shoulders and raised his eyebrows slightly, all the worry they showed earlier was gone. "Okay, I'll share this one with you, I don't think I can break anymore rotten news all on my own again. And who knows, maybe you're wrong. I can hope can't I?"
"Yea, keep hoping I'm wrong."
Brian returned to Justin with a smile and a twirl of his new cane. They walked back to the unit alone, Amy made up an excuse to stay behind so she could call the rest of the recovery team. On their walk, Justin asked Brian to stop a moment so he could capture an image on paper. Brian handed him his pencils and paper from the pocket of his chair. Then he sat on the bench he brushed clean for himself. Justin did a rough sketch of the sun shining over the trees that were covered in snow. It was rough, nothing like the caliber of work from the past, but is was the best he had done since he started working again.
Brian matted that sketch with black and put it in a black frame. Every year it was up in his office for the entire winter season. Justin always thought Brian kept it because it was one of the first 'good' pieces after the accident. That was partly true. Brian also kept is because the morose part of his personality saw it as a benchmark. A symbol of the exact moment in time when Justin's life was changed again, and he never even saw it coming.