Evangelion: New Testament
Episode: 1 (part 2)
"Awakenings"
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Misato had never been called into the Commander's office before. She'd never been in it, period, except by virtual conferencing. Far across the great expanse, Gendo Ikari sits behind his desk, staring back at her. At his right stands Kouzou Fuyutsuki. Two months ago, she might have found the Vice-Commander's presence reassuring. He always seemed to her to be more empathetic and understanding than Ikari. But, since Ritsuko, Misato finds trusting anyone to be very hard indeed.
She walks with deliberate slowness toward them. Looking down as she goes, she notices the many holographic emitters embedded in the floor and completely misses the unilluminated pictograms on the ceiling. Upon reaching the desk, however, her head is raised and her eyes are level. She stands at attention, but that's as much protocol as her wounded ego will allow.
"Why was I not informed about the arrival of Units 05, 06, and 07?" asks Misato, out of turn. Fuyutsuki appears ready to discipline her at the slightest sign from Ikari, but none is given.
"I believe you are in charge of Tactical Operations, Major," states the Commander, "not Parts and Acquisitions. If I'm mistaken, then I have several invoices that require your signature."
He lets her seethe in anger and humiliation for a while as he consults some paperwork set before him. Misato's clenched fists shake at her sides, but words fail her.
"So, since you seem to have nothing further," Commander Ikari continues, "we can address why I called you here today. First, there is the matter of your accessing restricted information, including unauthorized contact with a prisoner under isolation. I also understand Lieutenant Hyuga assisted in these transgressions."
"I take full responsibility, Commander," states Misato. "The Lieutenant was only acting on my orders." She hopes that Ikari isn't familiar enough with Hyuga's reckless initiative to know that she's lying.
"Very well," he says. "I am therefore putting both of you on official probation for the next six months. In addition, I am docking your pay by twenty-five percent for the next four weeks. I will tell you, I was almost willing to overlook your collusion, until your bringing it to light today forced me to do the same. I trust I am not being too lenient to discourage this behavior?"
"No, sir," replies Misato.
"Good," says Ikari, shuffling more papers. "Also, let me inform you that Dr. Ritsuko Akagi has been relieved of duty and had her clearances revoked. Any further association between the two of you may bring you under undue scrutiny from Section 2, as was the case with Mr. Kaji. Do not attempt to contact her again."
"Would there really be any point in trying?" Misato asks, quavering slightly. The Commander ignores her question.
Ritsuko and Kaji are probably looking up from Hell and laughing their asses off at me, she thinks bitterly.
"As to the second matter," continues Ikari, "I need you to give me your assessment of the status of the pilots in your care."
"Well, sir," Misato begins, "due to recent circumstances, Shinji has effectively been our only active pilot for the better part of seven weeks. And the stress has definitely taken its toll on him. He's been depressed, lethargic"
"I have the counselor's psych report, Major," interrupts Ikari. "What I am asking is: if necessary, can he pilot an Eva?"
"Yes, sir," she replies. She feels her wrath deflating under the Commander's withering gaze.
"I see… and the Second Child?"
"Physically, Asuka's at one-hundred percent, but she hasn't had a synch test since her hospitalization. The counselor wants us to be certain she'll succeed before we put her through that. Failure could crush her. She's still working through a lot of denial."
"I want her at Matsushiro in two days," Ikari tells her. "No more delays. She should have started her synch tests before the Sixth Child. Certainly no later."
"Yes, sir," says Misato, resigned to the fact that arguing would be pointless. Through the fog of her apathy, her brain screams at her to recognize the anomaly in Ikari's words. Blinking rapidly, it dawns on her. "Wait, did you say Sixth Child?"
"Yes," he replies. "He arrived at your apartment this morning. I have in front of me the documents transferring his legal guardianship to you, alongside these forms acknowledging your reprimand. Sign here, here, and here."
"B-but…," she stammers. She takes the offered pen and signs, as ordered, without thinking, while her mind tries to process all the new information. "…but, I've been gone most of the morning."
"So you haven't met him yet," says the Commander, unconcerned. "His name is Kage."
"Kaagi, sir," corrects Fuyutsuki.
"I haven't even received a preliminary report from the Marduk Institute," continues Misato, still somewhat dazed. Ikari sighs heavily.
"We both know you've been told the truth about Marduk, Major," he says. "A report would be a waste of everyone's time. You may take my son and go, now. You're dismissed."
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," she says unconvincingly. She bows to Ikari and Fuyutsuki, then turns and begins the long walk out of the office.
Once her head begins to clear, she feels the anger boiling up again. It was nothing less than a blatant insult to not be told ahead of time about the Sixth Child's arrival. But if they no longer trust her, she has no one to blame but herself for keeping secrets from them, however hypocritical that may be on their part. As she leaves, she takes what small satisfaction she can from the fact that she didn't give back the pen.
"So," the Vice-Commander says after she's gone, "between what Kaji leaked to her and what Akagi showed her, do you think Major Katsuragi knows too much?" Gendo Ikari takes no time to consider.
"It doesn't matter what she knows or doesn't know, as long as she continues to serve our purpose," he says. Fuyutsuki remains unsure, but doesn't show it.
And as long as she's not serving anyone else's, he thinks.
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Toji Suzuhara stirs slowly from his slumber to find himself beneath an unfamiliar ceiling. The sad irony of this being that he's finally home, but he's grown more accustomed to waking in a hospital room, after all his time there. It also serves to remind him that this isn't really his home. It's just a copy; built to replace the one destroyed by the flood.
"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!" shouts Kensuke Aida. Toji squints, looking up into the face of his friend hovering above him, partially obscured as it is by the presence of his camcorder.
"Ugh," says Toji, pulling a pillow over his head. Muffled, he continues, "What are you doing here? What time is it?"
"Oh my gosh, you really don't remember?" gasps Kensuke, peering over the camera at him. "Today's the day of your party! Boy, if the beautiful Misato wanted to throw me a party, I sure wouldn't forget."
"I didn't forget," Toji says with annoyance. He takes the pillow off his head and throws it at Kensuke. It hits him softly in the gut, but he keeps on taping.
"Well, I sure wouldn't be late, either," he chides. He moves away from Toji's bedside and over to the window. The rain has stopped, but the sun still refuses to show itself. "It's gonna be starting soon. I got here a while ago, but your dad wouldn't let me come up until now. He said you needed your rest."
"Oh, man," moans Toji. Kensuke hears his friend behind him, dragging his tired body out of bed and beginning to rifle through his dresser.
"It's really amazing, you know?" Kensuke says, shooting footage of the cityscape beyond the window. "In just six weeks, they got the city back together again, almost as good as new. Of course, most of the big buildings were retracted safely underground when Unit-00 went up. The hardest part was draining and damming Lake Ashino and rebuilding all the homes people lost.
"They sure did a good job on yours, Toji. I can't even tell the difference," he adds as he pans round the room. Into the viewfinder comes Toji, in a state of partial undress.
"Hey, shut that off!" he yells. He tries to run away, but the pants around his knees trip him and he falls gracelessly out of frame.
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On a walkway suspended high upon a wall, Shinji sits, staring out into the vast room they call the "Cage." His back rests against the wall and his arms lay limp at his sides. He's the picture of defeat, though he hadn't even gotten started.
Running along this path toward his entry plug, he had been shocked to feel the Cage moving. He'd wasted no time, staying in his street clothes and only putting on the neural transmitters, before rushing to the plug. Unit-01 hadn't even been released from its holding area and loaded onto a catapult yet. But the massive machinery behind the walls was already positioning the room under specific exit shafts. When unfamiliar Evas began descending from the shafts, Shinji had started screaming.
His cries brought several technicians running to his location. They calmed him, explained that the new Evas were expected, and then slowly dispersed, leaving him sitting there. Only one man remained, taking a seat right next to him. Shinji doesn't know how long it's been since then, but the man is still there, now.
He seems to be about Misato's age, with close-cropped black hair and an informal air about him. He'd look completely out of place in his black tee-shirt and khaki pants if they weren't partially covered by a long, white lab-coat. But even its sleeves are casually rolled up.
"Beautiful, aren't they?" he says finally. It takes Shinji a few moments to realize that he means the Evas, and Shinji can't disagree more. However, it's not the new Evas' differences from the old ones that scare him. It's their similarities.
Unit-05 isn't too bad. It looks just like Unit-02, except being bright blue and white where Asuka's is red and orange. The other two are the ones that really bother him. Unit-06 is nearly identical to Unit-03. It's also a mat black, but where 03's accents were white, 06's are dark red, from its knuckles, to its eyes, to the red "6" on its helmet-like head. And Unit-07 is the black and white ghost of an Eva that haunts his dreams.
"They're terrible," says Shinji, half to himself.
"Well, yes," concedes the young man beside him. "But a thing can be both terrible and beautiful at the same time. Like a lion, for example. Ferocious creature, but magnificent to behold."
Like Asuka, thinks Shinji.
They continue sitting without talking and Shinji feels rather cheated. Having taken the initiative to start a dialogue by doing something as foreign to him as disagreeing with someone, the someone just agrees and that's that. He lets his ire stoke what little bravery he has and tries again.
"The head's wrong," he says, nodding at Unit-07. Its head is ovoid and featureless, like an inverted egg perched on its neck. "It should be more like the nose-cone of a plane… like a humpback whale's head… shouldn't it?"
"None of the other Evas' heads are, so it's funny you should say that… but, yeah," says the man. "At least, that was one of the original design concepts. We also considered removing the shoulder protrusions, but we didn't. It just wouldn't have looked like an Eva, you know?"
"I know," says Shinji gravely. "I think I saw it in a dream."
"If it helps, I believe that," comes the suddenly serious reply. Then, just as suddenly, the young man lightens again. "But, hey, don't tell anyone else that. They'll send you in for a psych evaluation."
"I already have psych evaluations."
"Ah," he says with embarrassment. He stands, and Shinji wonders if the man has gotten sick of staying here.
"Come on," he says, offering Shinji his hand and helping him to his feet. "I bet the Major is done talking with your father. Why don't we go meet her at the parking structure?"
He begins walking away, and Shinji dutifully follows. Together, they navigate the myriad moving sidewalks and escalators until eventually arriving at their destination. Misato is already there, standing by the car, dialing her cell phone. When she finishes, Shinji's pocket starts ringing, and she looks up.
"There you are!" she says, letting her general frustration color her tone. Calming slightly, she adds, "False alarm, but I guess you heard, huh?"
"Don't worry, Major," interjects Shinji's companion. "I've been keeping an eye on your son here the whole time."
"My wha? Hey! Just how old do you think I am?"
"It's not that," he says. "I know that you're Shinji's guardian. But from what I also know of the Commander, I'd say you're the closest thing Shinji has to a real parent, so…," he punctuates his thought with raised eyebrows and shrugged shoulders. Then, he turns to go.
I can't believe I never considered that, thinks Misato. All these months I've spent trying to be like a mother to Shinji, and I've never thought of him in that way.
"Hey!" she calls out. "What's your name?"
"Yoshi," he says over his shoulder. She can't help but be intrigued by him, nor can she help but wonder if he has a cute butt under his lab-coat.
"Well, Yoshi," she says coyly, "I'm having a party for the Fourth Child at my apartment today at 4 o'clock. You can consider yourself invited."
"I'll be there," says Yoshi. "But I'm afraid that I'll be late."
"Oh," challenges Misato, "and why is that?"
"Because it's already 4:30."
Misato freezes, managing to stifle the slew of expletives she wants to spew forth. She grins sheepishly and laughs nervously instead. A second later, she's galvanized into action, throwing Shinji in the car, throwing herself in after him, and throwing the car into gear.
Yoshi knew so much about me, Shinji thinks as the car speeds away. But I wouldn't even know his name if Misato hadn't asked. I guess, since he works here, it's sort of his job to know about me. "You're rather ignorant of your own position." That's what Kaworu said. I wish I could forget that. I wish I could forget him.
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The clerk in a quaint little gift shop stands at the counter, reading the latest issue of a pop music magazine. It's been a slow day. She's had only five customers, including the fifteenish-looking girl still winding her way through the merchandise. The clerk glances up occasionally to give the appearance that she's minding the store, but the girl doesn't seem to her to be the type to shoplift.
Indeed, Hikari Horaki is not. She is, however, frustrated and disappointed. This is the third shop she's been to today, and she's still without a gift for Toji. Her blind faith in miraculously stumbling upon the perfect "something" gave way to desperate searching hours ago.
There are lots of nice things here, if only I could pick one, Hikari thinks despairingly. Nozomi said I should get him a sword, because boys like that sort of thing. I'm not so sure. I really like some of these picture frames, but I don't have a picture of us together to put in it.
Kodama says I should stop "wasting my time" on Toji and let her fix me up with someone. No, thanks! Not after what Asuka told me about that med student. The guy kept putting his hands on her, even after she told him to stop. She had to leave him at the roller-coaster line, or she'd have been stuck on that ride with him while he did whatever he wanted!
I don't know why Asuka isn't as open with me as she used to be, she continues thinking wistfully. Even that last time she slept over, she just played SEGA all night. Then came the flood, and she went to the hospital. Kensuke told me they found her in the wreckage of my old house, right before they took her in, like maybe she was looking for me. I must be an awful person, because thinking about that makes me feel good.
"Miss?" calls the clerk, and Hikari looks up. "I don't mean rush you, but we're closing in fifteen minutes."
"Oh?" says Hikari. "I thought you didn't close until 5 o'clock."
"Yes, Miss. It's 4:45." Hikari turns deathly pale.
"I'm late?" she asks, choking back tears. "Oh, no. He'll think I'm horrible. He'll think I don't care!" She grabs a picture frame off the shelf in front of her and runs to the counter.
"For a guy?" asks the clerk as she rings up the purchase. Hikari just nods as she tries to count her money through misty eyes. "Don't worry. He'll like it." Hikari smiles as she wipes her face. With the transaction complete, she takes the frame and runs out the door.
"He's gonna break her heart," adds the clerk, turning another page in her magazine.
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"I'm sorry, Misato. I thought I had it with me."
"It's okay, Shinji. Just take some of these bags from me so I can unlock the door."
"I don't understand why no one's answering the doorbell."
"I told you I invited a lot of people. They're probably all talking, catching up with Toji…. Uh, could you get a few more bags from the other side? I've still got most of them."
"Well… just think how many we would've had to carry up here, if all the cold food hadn't spoiled while we were in the Geo-front."
"Um… yeah."
The apartment door slides open to reveal Shinji and Misato in the outer hallway, adorned with plastic bags. He trudges to the kitchen as she scurries to the living room. Despite being over an hour late, Misato tries to appear up-beat and puts on a brave face. Her brave face being simply a smile so large that it forces her eyes closed.
"I'm so sorry we're late, everybody," she says to the room in front of her. "But don't worry! I've got lots of snacks right here, though they might be a little crushed. And I'll have dinner made in no time!"
"It's okay. We already ordered a pizza," says Shigeru Aoba glumly.
Misato opens her eyes and her smile disappears. All of six people occupy the living room. Aoba slouches on the sofa, holding a beer and looking bored. Hyuga sits next to him, also with a beer and very obviously uncomfortable. Rei, Asuka, Toji, and Kensuke all sit on the floor in various postures ranging from Rei's cross-legged rigidity to Asuka's lazy sprawl. The TV is on, distracting them from petty nuisances such as doorbells.
"Where is everyone?" cries Misato, almost accusingly.
"A lot of the class showed up," Asuka says, diverting little of her attention from the screen. "Some of their parents, too. And some of the guys who play basketball with Toji. Y'know, from the team."
"They stuck around for a while," continues Toji. "We talked some, but they got hungry and there was nothing in the kitchen. Then Hyuga came and said you'd be late. Pretty much everybody took off after that."
"I've got it all on tape, if you'd like to see, Misato," adds Kensuke.
"Well, it's nice to know my party was a success while I wasn't here," says Misato sarcastically. A frown stays on her face through two breaths, then she resumes her brave face and announces, "Nevermind! I'm here now, and we'll continue as planned. Enjoy the snacks while I cook us up a delicious meal. Hiya, Toji! Good to see you.
"And just one more thing: if anybody touches that pizza when it gets here, I'll kill them!"
As he finishes putting the groceries away, Shinji hears Misato's death threat from the other room. He does not hear the bathroom door open or the footsteps of someone entering the kitchen. He turns around and discovers an unexpected presence.
"Yeagh!" he yelps, surprised. "Wh-who are you?"
"Kaagi Chuda," says the newcomer. "And I keep getting the impression that I'm not expected. Unless a cry of panic is how you normally greet people. If so, then "Yeagh" back at you."
"Hi! You must be Kaagi," interrupts Misato, striding into the kitchen and depositing her bags. "I'm Misato Katsuragi and-" (the doorbell interrupts her) "-and I'd better go answer that." She exits the kitchen just as Asuka walks through.
"Long time no see, Third Child," she sneers at Shinji. "I see you've met the Sixth." The bathroom door slams shut behind her.
"Somehow, I pictured you being taller, Shinji Ikari," says Kaagi as he heads back to the living room.
"Wha-? That was the Sixth Child?" asks Shinji, now alone in the kitchen.
"Yep," says Asuka through the door, "and he's American."
"He didn't look American," says Shinji, edging closer to the bathroom to hear her better.
"Well, he grew up there, but his parents are Japanese," she says. Then she adds, screaming, "And get the hell away from the door! Do you actually want to listen to what I'm doing in here, you freak?"
At the front door, Misato contemplates how to respond to the person ringing the bell. Behind her, Kaagi and Toji pass each other on their way to the living room and kitchen respectively. Finally, she opens the door, smiling sweetly.
"I'm sorry," she says, "there's been a mistake. No one here ordered a pizza."
"That's not good. I already paid for it," says Yoshi, looking sadly down at the box in his hands. "I ran into the delivery guy on my way up."
"Oh, Yoshi! I was… uh… just kidding! Ha-ha."
"Um, excuse me, Misato, but do you know where Toji is?" asks Hikari, squeezing past Yoshi into the apartment. She's short of breath and sweating a bit. Misato opens her mouth to answer just as Toji walks in front of her toward the living room. Hikari follows him, adding, "Thank you, Misato!"
"What's your problem?" Asuka asks Shinji after leaving the bathroom.
Toji came in here to see me but I couldn't talk to him, Shinji thinks. I couldn't even look at him.
But he doesn't tell Asuka that, because he can't talk to, or look at, her, either. He's glad when her momentum carries her past him, out of the kitchen.
"I got you a present," says Hikari, quietly, as she catches up with Toji. She wants to tell him how she wishes he would put a picture of her in it, and, if he doesn't, that she'll probably up and die. Instead, she says, "It's a picture frame."
"Thanks, Class Rep," Toji tells her. Then, he pulls down his collar to show off a necklace of seashells. "And check out what Rei got me."
"Rei… got you a gift?" she asks. To anyone more observant than Toji, Hikari looks as though she's just been slapped. She excuses herself and runs headlong into Asuka.
"Hey, Hikari," she says. "I didn't think you were going to make it."
"I'm late because I was picking out a gift for Toji," she explains. "But Rei got him one first!"
"Don't worry about that," says Asuka consolingly. "She's just playing "Miss Goody-goody suck-up." Nobody else even bothered getting him anything."
"I'm recording the whole party for posterity," Kensuke chimes in, eavesdropping. "That's my gift to Toji."
"Yeah, this is sure one for the ages," mocks Asuka.
"Dinner's ready!" declares Misato, beaming and brandishing a pizza box.
Shinji hears her from the kitchen, but makes no move to join the others at the table in the living room. Pen-pen's personal refrigerator opens and he waddles out, pausing briefly at Shinji's feet to give a plaintive squawk, before leaving the room. Yoshi enters shortly after.
"Hey, Shinji," he says. "There's no pizza in here."
"I'm not coming out," Shinji tells him. "I can't face them. Not after everything I've done."
"Yeah, saving the city about thirteen times is pretty embarrassing."
"I'm not talking about that!"
"Well, nobody's talking about anything else. Whatever mistakes you've made, those people out there are still your friends. All the pilots, even the mouthy red-head, and the Class Rep and the budding director."
"All the pilots… so, Rei's here, too? Do you…," he begins, then whispers, "do you know what she is?"
"Yes, I do," says Yoshi. "She's a kid, just like you. Look, Shinji, I'll make you a deal. Just come out and have some pizza. You don't have to talk to anybody. But if they talk to you, please do them the courtesy of listening. If things get too uncomfortable, it's your choice to stay or go."
Shinji agonizes and Yoshi waits patiently.
"I can't," Shinji says.
"You can. The question is: will you?" says Yoshi. And he stays.
Shinji slams his fist down on the counter. And he goes.
Yoshi smiles and follows.
Slowly, cautiously, Shinji approaches the living room. Just before he enters, he hears Misato thanking Hikari for watching Pen-pen during the reconstruction. And once he does enter, what happens surprises him. No one stops talking. No one stares. They just carry on, eating and laughing.
He sits down, and lets himself be swept away. For tonight, maybe he can ignore his pain. Like magic, everything can be like it was. Toji and Kensuke are his friends again. Asuka grouses, Hikari frets, and Misato gets ridiculously drunk. Shinji can forget his past mistakes and stop worrying about his visions of the future. Only the "now" needs to matter to him. For a little while, at least.
The party continues for a few more hours, until the adults decide that the children have stayed up late enough. The guests slowly shuffle out, and Shinji makes his way to his room. But the room is no longer only his.
Misato had blurted it out after two or three beers, but Shinji still wasn't sufficiently prepared to face the reality of it. Kaagi is here. He's trying to find room for his things among Shinji's, and his sleeping bag is laid out on the floor next to the bed. There's palpable discomfort on both their parts. Neither boy had talked much to the other at the party, and Kaagi is as much to blame for this, because he talked mostly to Rei, as Shinji is, because he avoided her.
After lying down, they don't sleep easily, either. Shinji can tell that Kaagi wants to say something, and he wants to tell him not to.
Please just go to sleep, he thinks. I don't want to talk. I'm not ready. Just go to sleep.
"Shinji," says Kaagi, "can I ask you something?"
No! Shinji thinks. I don't want you to get to know me. I don't want to get to know you. I'm not your friend, and I don't want to be. I'm just not ready, dammit! Can't you understand?
"Um… I guess," says Shinji.
"Well… um… do you know if… if Rei's seeing anyone? Like, dating?"
"Oh," says Shinji, caught off guard. "I… I don't know." He pauses, then adds, "I think so."
"Oh," says Kaagi. He sighs, then rolls over and says nothing else.
For the rest of the night, until he falls asleep, Shinji wonders, Why did I lie?
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In a darkened room, two figures stand silhouetted in the soft glow of instrument panels.
"Did you get my message about this morning's readings?" asks one.
"Of course," says the other. "There was a sharp upward spike on the psychometric scale, but it leveled off within expected parameters. Noteworthy, but what's the relevance?"
"Well, we just had another one. Much higher than the first."
"Has it leveled off?"
"As far as I can tell, yes. But get this: it's leveled off well above the first spike. Do you know what that means?"
The reply comes with just a hint of glee, "It's awake."
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The rain from the afternoon has led to a colder evening than usual. Puddles still dot the uneven cement walkways of Rei's apartment building. She stares into one now, studying her distorted reflection. She's wearing Kaagi's jacket, because he insisted she take it for the walk home. And, to her eyes, she looks different.
It's not just the jacket, though. Confusion shadows her face where only certainty used to reside. She doesn't understand herself. Not why she was first compelled to stay at the party, nor why she later felt reluctance to leave. But the murky water holds no answers.
So, she finally enters the unlocked door of #402. In her bedroom, she takes off the jacket and places it on her dresser, next to a pair of cracked glasses. In those glasses, she sees the reflection of movement behind her.
She turns and discovers she is not alone. Her heartbeat quickens, almost painfully. Yet all over she feels cold and numb. She gulps air, having momentarily forgotten to breathe. Something inside her tells her to scream, but she can't.
Is this fear? she wonders.
"Yes, it is," says Kaworu, smiling.
To Be Continued…
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Next Episode Preview:
The 17th Angel has returned. Can more be far behind? Rei struggles to discover the course of her destiny as she battles Kaworu for dominion over her soul. Meanwhile, Shinji, Misato, Asuka, and Kaagi must battle each other for equal bathroom time! Life and Death walk side by side, never meeting. All in our next episode: "(R)evolving Door".