Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated materials are property of Squaresoft. The song "Close To You" belongs to The Carpenters.
Close To You
By: Nanaki BH
I leaned on the balcony rail, my chin in my palms. It was like my mind refused to think about anything else. Inside, there was a party; like a "coming home" party of sorts for Rufus. Lately, that's all people talked about; what a miracle it was that he was still alive and kicking. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the rail, wallowing in my own self-pity. It was difficult to explain, and tiring if I tried to explain it. It wasn't that I was angry he was alive – Lord, no. I was just…
"You're jealous, huh?" came Rude's voice. I glanced over my shoulder to give him a disinterested stare.
I have nothing to be jealous of! I thought, but I immediately reprimanded myself. How could I think like that? I had everything to be jealous of! He's gorgeous and I'm a selfish person. All he'd been doing lately was conferring with the staff, talking to all them highfalutin people… I've wanted nothing more than to just sit down with him for once but no. I haven't been allowed even the briefest of moments with him since he recovered.
"I'm not jealous, Rude," I said, inwardly smacking myself. "He just… wouldn't want me bothering him." It was an excuse and it burned my tongue to say it. If I really wanted to talk with him, I would march in there, grab him, and do whatever the hell I wanted. So what was stopping me?
"Since when has that stopped you?" How Rude can read me like a book is beyond me. I don't think I'm that obvious. I turned around to look at him. Perhaps he can tell what I'm thinking because I don't wear shades like he does. I can never tell what's going on behind them. Rude's not one to hide something though, so I guess I've never had a reason to wonder.
I leaned back on my elbows and crossed my legs at the ankles casually. "I guess I just don't want to spoil it for him. He likes the attention."
"He likes the attention you give him, doesn't he?" His smirk annoyed me in the same way a pesky bug infestation annoys a housewife.
I ground my teeth and in my defense I said, "Of course!" I bit my tongue.
"You think he wouldn't want to see you…?"
"Stop it!" I said, balling my fists. "Of course he would want to see me! I just… I don't know," I said wearily, shaking my head. I turned my back to him and opted to look out across the Plate again. The dreary atmosphere wasn't much helping to brighten my mood.
Rude sidled up beside me. He took out a pack of cigarette and offered me one. I graciously accepted and he gave me a light. "Clearing my head with smoke", I decided, was the greatest oxymoron on Earth. I muttered my thanks and took a drag, letting my eyes slide closed for another second.
"Just because he's enjoying the attention doesn't mean he's ignoring you, Reno," he said, giving me a light pat on the back. "Let the chick have his way for now." I snorted, amused with his creative use of words. "You want his attention? Fuck him later. Hard. Big. Lots. Everywhere."
I laughed, grateful to have Rude's humor at the time. His honesty was a killer, but he was right. I could make love to Rufus like no other man could ever dream of, and even my kisses could bring him to his knees… not that any other man would ever lay a finger on him. I make sure of that.
I looked back out at Midgar. Down below streetlights flickered and sirens wailed, proving that even the ones on top still couldn't quite reach the light. I took a drag from the cigarette and let it dangle loosely from my lips. I felt for them. It wasn't often that I got out to see clouds and rain or snow myself, and those poor people below would probably never have the chance. I decided then that when Rufus was done brown-nosing that I would take him on a vacation somewhere exotic; some place with snow or sun. I've always been curious as to how he would look with a tan: hot, I'm sure.
I grinned, the prospect more tantalizing than I could bear. "Do you think he would mind if I came in for a bit?" I asked my rather silent friend.
He raised an eyebrow and then chuckled. "I think he wanted you there to begin with."
That makeshift kind of assent was good enough for me. I looked down at the cigarette I held between my fingers and pondered whether or not I should keep it for a moment, but decided it wouldn't matter if I smoked inside. I was sure there were guys in there smoking cigars… Damn, I thought, remembering that cigarettes are supposedly considered the "bitches" of the tobacco product family. I shook my head, smirking secretively. Only Rufus could pull off the cigar look. You had to be a certain kind of person to make it work for ya.
With another defiant puff, I gave Rude a satisfied thumbs-up and opened the doors to the bustling party within. No one turned to regard me. Not one person even batted an eyelash in my direction. Years of being a Turk will do that for you. You earn that kind of respect in which people really can't look at you; save for your superiors, of course. Perhaps it's the fear of being shot. Sure, I was carrying a gun but the least they could do was be a little typical for me.
I stuck my hands in my pockets and started to mosey on through. I didn't see him, but that was to be expected with a party so grand. For all I knew he had a whole group surrounding him.
And after walking around the party for what must have been five times without seeing him once, I stopped and decided to sit. I kept out of the way of everyone, finding a seat isolated off to the side. I dropped what was left of my cigarette (which really wasn't much) and crushed it under my boot. I was quick to replace it. These fancy events always made me nervous and I silently thanked myself over and over for bringing an extra pack of cigarettes.
I've never been quite sure what to make of these parties either. Did they really suit a guy like Rufus? What was it about them that he enjoyed? Did he really have a taste for fine wine and cheese or was he just a big fat attention whore? It was possible, though the ambiance was striking like him; silver plates lined with gold, candles, practically a whole fucking orchestra too. I guess I'm the Yin to his Yang… or is it the Yang to his Yin? Whatever. I'm his balance.
My job is to protect Rufus and I decided I should get my ass up and at least find out where he was. I didn't want him barking at me about how I don't do anything just because he likes me. I put my hands on my knees and pushed myself up to stand. I ran a hand through my hair and situated my glasses more comfortably on my forehead. Once I was confident that I looked at least semi-presentable, I went on my way.
I stopped at the first group of people I came to; they looked like Rufus fans. They were a bunch of youthful-looking girls, only there because their fathers dragged them along. They all chattered girlishly with each other about only God knows what. I had to stop myself from laughing at how ridiculous they were.
As soon as one of them noticed my presence it was like the whole group noticed. They warily faced me, like I was the Grim Reaper himself or something. "Any idea where I can find the president?" I asked them politely.
They shared a gaping expression of embarrassment and awkwardness. "I know; I'm hot," I said, trying to hasten a response.
One girl, her face flushed red, came forward and offered me her name which I promptly forgot. "Mr. Shinra is over that way," she said, practically pointing all the way across the room. "We've been trying to talk to him, but he looks so busy…"
I didn't bother to listen to them. I made it my mission to find him myself. "Mr. Shinra" they'd called him, I thought with a sneer. He isn't his father.
I had to push my way past some of the more stubborn guests. They all had common exasperated reactions. It was easy to forgive small offenses made by a Turk though. On my way, I stopped short of the bar and wondered briefly if I should get a glass of wine in an attempt to look slightly sophisticated or not. Rufus would undoubtedly be holding his own whether or not he was actually drinking it. I decided against it after I realized my shirt was untucked.
I had to keep myself from running to him when I saw his face though. I knew instantly that my first instinct would be to go over and start acting like an ass in front of his… guests. I'll hold my tongue, I promised myself. I'll hold myself up, dignified like. I nodded self-assuredly and strutted over to where he was standing. Halfway over I lost my cool, my stomach twisted, and because of it, I lost my manners as well. Hell, I almost lost my lunch. And it's not that I'm afraid of those kinds of people; I'm… well, I'm embarrassed around them.
I know I'm dignified and I know I'm supposed to be self-assured, but when a disapproving stare is sent in my direction, I feel the urge to turn tail and hide. Perhaps it's because of that look his father gave me all those years. Mr. Shinra would look at me like he knew I was fucking his kid and damn it scared the hell out of me. He must have known. Not that it matters at all now.
A soft sigh escaped my lips when I saw him flip his hair out of his eyes. He's always done that; kind of like an adorable character flaw. He always has to look perfect. His hair's been hanging in front of his eyes more like that now that he's been wearing his hair down. It feels a lot better to run my fingers through now; no more of that sticky gel. And my God, how beautifully he stood with his wine glass in one hand, gesturing expressively with the other. He was a God on Earth.
It didn't really register that my legs were moving and carrying me in his direction. All of a sudden it was like I knew what to say, I knew what to do. I smiled and nodded politely at his guests. Gently, I put an arm around Rufus's shoulder and leaned in to place a tender kiss to his cheek. I was surprised. He didn't turn away or even flinch. He just chuckled softly and introduced me.
I placed my cigarette back in my lips so I could shake a couple hesitant hands. They each searched Rufus's face for some kind of an answer; I did too. Their question was different though. They wanted to know if he was serious. I wanted to know if… well, I guess it was the same question after all. He just kept on smiling and then, to my surprise, put a hand at the small of my back.
"So about Junon," one man said, eyeing me warily from the corners of his eyes.
"It's underway," Rufus assured him. I wasn't quite sure of what they were talking about but I was sure it didn't involve me – which was good.
"I should get going," I said, giving Rufus a light nudge.
He looked up at me, blinking in slight confusion. "You don't have to go so soon," he said. "In fact, I was just thinking of going to find you." The other men looked at each other and began to step away. "They're a bunch of hard-asses," he told me quietly once they were gone.
"Just out for your money, huh?" I took one last drag on my cigarette and dropped it for some unlucky fellow to trip on.
He nodded and laughed. "Yeah, I get tired of guys like them." He took a sip of his wine and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Now you on the other hand – I never get tired of you." And just like that, he pulled me close and crushed his lips against mine. I sighed against him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and moved my lips against his passionately.
"Free show!"
"Rude! Goddamn!" I yelled, pulling away from our very red-faced president. Rude laughed almost evilly and practically skipped away.
"Boys will be boys," Rufus quipped playfully.
"Will they ever," I groaned, placing my head in my hands. "When does this thing end?" I asked him impatiently.
Rufus pulled back his sleeve, ever-mindful of his wineglass, to look at the time. "Now, actually."
"Good," I said, returning my arms to his waist. "Then we can continue that kiss upstairs?"
"Definitely."
Author's Note: You probably hate me for not giving you sex. I know - I'm mad at me too. But don't worry; this was only #7 for 30kisses! There are still 23 fanfics to go! I was actually thinking of making the next one a lemon and #23 will more than likely be one anyway. So, I hope you enjoyed this one. Stay tuned for more!
